How is feeling foreigners in Kuala lumpur .....................:)

I'm not an expat based in wonderful Malaysia but I have spent some very long holidays in that fantastic country so I feel I can speak with some authority on the matter.
I found the place very interesting and the people very friendly.
KL is a large, modern city but, hidden in places many people choose not to see, the old city is still around.

I'd like to return for a few months and give my camera a good workout.

I get lots of girls feeling me in changkat or the beach club

Lol

Nemodot wrote:

I get lots of girls feeling me in changkat or the beach club

Lol

Lucky you.

please keep in mind , immigration is not tourism ! hope this help 

It has changed over the last 18 months. Illegal foreign workers have fled and there is much more control, in terms of raids and road blocks.  However, if you are legal and living in Malaysia, it is a great place to unwind and find yourself.

I have been living in KL for past few months and I've already got bored. Its a good place for tourism (vacations, holidays) , but for permanent living, I don't think so.

@Maha 3249 - your comments are interesting. Please tell us why you have reached that conclusion?

Hi maha 3249!
i mean this is a massive change ,physically and emotionally .in other word   it depend where you are coming  from and how sensitive you are !
tourists are staying longer and longer in KL but simply watching the game not playing the game ! -- blurring the distinction between tourism and migration.i hope you catch this ! please don't get me wrong, it is not all doom and gloom. Malaysia  is a fantastic place  you will learn how to respond to the situations rather  to react  ''for me it was the biggest gift  :-)''
i think the hardest thing for me when i get back,  it was how powerful relationships are when you leave your native country ...and what i mean by that is sometimes in life it's not about what you got it's about who you know...''please trust me on this, it is very important when you move to a new place '' and how information , networks or people can help you achieve what you want to achieve..they can accelerate the process for you much quicker.. i hope you catch this .
i think learning this information's is probably the most painful  things a person  goes through..
wow i wrote a lot !!  but let me tell you the most important thing to do here
BE COURAGEOUS, BE LOST ....ASK QUESTIONS DON'T BE AFRAID AND  ALWAYS ,ALWAYS ASK FOR HELP !! YOU WILL BE AMAZED HOW PEOPLE ARE HERE FOR YOU AND READY TO HELP YOU .
Walid.

Gravitas wrote:

@Maha 3249 - your comments are interesting. Please tell us why you have reached that conclusion?

Malaysia is a great place and I enjoyed going around different places. But in future I wouldn't like to live here because:

1- I found locals unfriendly and they don't like to mix with expats.
2- I didn't like  the weather as its hot and humid, I'm sweating all the time
3- Every where I see chinese and i don't understand the language they speak
4- Even though I'm a friendly person but still I've got no friends.

Thanks very much for the reality check Maha3249.

I do think enjoying the climate where a person lives is a hugely important thing. I could not stand living in a part of the world where it was only daytime from 9 am to 3 pm at parts of the year and I really hate the cold. I do think our bodies adapt after quite a long time but I know what you mean about perspiring - I hate it when people comment on it to me as I sometimes get a wet face and neck  - in my culture you would never mention it and just ignore it. 

I see lots of people on this forum mentioning they want to meet friends and I am beginning to think that it may be as a result of growing up in the digital age, where people tend to be a little more remote and are used to operating in abstract situations, like Facebook, chat rooms, etc.   

For you and others, please find below a link to Do Something Good:

VOLUNTEERING - Do Something Good

I was thinking whether volunteering might be a way to meet people?  Having a common goal can be an easier way to connect with others.

Hi Maha,

Im Malaysian but have been living in paris for a couple of years. In the beginning I felt like the locals are not interested to be friends with expats. So in the end, i only had expat frens. but after a couple of months i decided (my french got better as well) to join some group activities and met some really good french friends. (i used meetup.com)
i guess its really not easy to relocate, but do keep up an open mind and try to immerse in your local culture.
i just got home a month ago and i still cant stand the weather, so well its not the easiest.
good luck! and if u wanna hang out and volounteer over the weekend, do pm me

HI Maha....i think you get wrong regarding the locals...we are very friendly.

I always do arrange expats gatherings. Even locals also joint this gathering.If you interested you can joint us. I'll update you if there is in near future.

I've been residing in Malaysia for a long time now and that particular problem about Malaysian's being less hospitable doesn't bother me much.  It's true....locals aren't very friendly but that never was an issue to me. I kinda focus on what I do best, work and being stuck up, I guess I fit in KL just fine.

I Am single(male) Looking For My life Partner(wife):
Ready to marry me.... Must be honest and know the value of relationship,i experienced the hearhached and now for the last time,i I want to make it sure its for real and no more flirting..but for strong and straight forward and serious relationship...i want to have my own kids and build a Happy family.

firozbusiness wrote:

I Am single(male) Looking For My life Partner(wife):
Ready to marry me.... Must be honest and know the value of relationship,i experienced the hearhached and now for the last time,i I want to make it sure its for real and no more flirting..but for strong and straight forward and serious relationship...i want to have my own kids and build a Happy family.

This forum is not a dating or matrimonial site. If you are looking for a wife then use Google to find a site for you.

Firoz, I agree with Stumpy. This is a forum and not a dating site. We do not need to hear about your private life and I am pretty sure no-one in their right mind would contact you if they read your posting. You should make contact in places where other people are looking for date or partners. In fact there is a section on Expat.com under the Classifieds, which is available to do that.  So please think about using it, instead of interrupting discussions on Forum.

@firozbusiness. Perhaps you should also read the terms and conditions of membership which you can find on the bottom of this page. All members should be aware of what is right and what is not when posting

I agree with u Maha. some people might disagree but the truth is bitter. If you were a white woman. locals would love to be friends with u. As you are from Pakistan..............................do u want me to say the rest.i think u r smart enough to understand. This is south east Asia.

(moderated: no racist comment here)

I have been living for more than 1 year in malaysia.
People are good and friendly only till they meet.
I didnt find people so friendly to help or guide me as a foreigner and new to their country.
I found them as reserve and mostly proud.
the environment here is not supportive to foreigner, people here dnt accept even if they are wrong, kind of rigid people.
Some Tamil and chinese I found very friendly.
kind of mix attitudes. Appearant is discouraging.

People are friendly, if you have something they want.

Right.
When they get, they dnt bother to meet u

Business money or u know. Thats the truth.

Friendship is just another commodity, but can be special. But of course, it does have different levels of meaningfulness.

At the outset though, rather like a couple of animals, people tend to ignore one another and are not driven to interact, unless there is some mutual interest.  Did you have someone at your school who was not particularly liked, so they came with sweets, toys to impress, or some other way to attract attention?  It only worked for a short time and they usually became even more alone as no-one wanted to be "bought".

So trying to attract attention and demand friendship is probably not going to succeed. If you are yourself and welcome other people (but are not hurt or surprised if they fail to react appropriately) you still have your self-respect and that is worth far more. 

Someone who is happy and not needy, and who is content with their life, becomes curious to other people. 

I have noticed that less fortunate expats who have difficult times, but don't show it on the outside and instead go about being positive, happy and open individuals (because they are happy with what they have got, and not sad about what they haven't got perhaps?) get to know a lot of people.

I guess that I am saying is just because people from the same country find themselves somewhere new, they are not necessarily minded to hook up with them socially.

One reason could be that in the home setting, they can read and understand more about a person because of local norms back home.  Once people are in different surroundings, it can be unclear who they are, because they may be doing a different kind of job to back home, wear different clothes, obey or disobey norms, etc.  So even though you may share the same nationality, there can be nervousness about getting involved with people who you don't really know and understand.

I am mainly taking this opinion from interaction with people of my nationality. They tend to ignore other people with the same background completely.

Thats is one hell of an explanation and actually some good points too but u all have to agree that in here nationality counts alot

maha3249 wrote:

Gravitas wrote:

@Maha 3249 - your comments are interesting. Please tell us why you have reached that conclusion?

Malaysia is a great place and I enjoyed going around different places. But in future I wouldn't like to live here because:

1- I found locals unfriendly and they don't like to mix with expats.
2- I didn't like  the weather as its hot and humid, I'm sweating all the time
3- Every where I see chinese and i don't understand the language they speak
4- Even though I'm a friendly person but still I've got no friends.

Yes, you are right. I saw most Indian locals are only friendly and help you. Some Chinese are good but some of them treat me badly. I  noticed it Malay doesn't  want to mix with foreigners. I am a foreigner working in Malaysia for many years. Actually I don't like Malaysia. If you are a white person, everybody want you to give you job with high salary even though he doesn't know any. All Asian countries like this. If you are expert in subject matter, they don't care. Important is which passport do you hold? If you hold Europe passport ( UK, US, Canada, Australia) , everybody want you give you job even though you are not white person.

No offence to the people who are giving negative comments about locals but I tried to contact a couple of them and they didnt reply so I think they should check their attitude first before giving negative comments.

Well, Malaysian is much more laid back if compare with most of the SEA country, People intend not to push to have more friend outside their circle, unless Malaysian like us that have live in abroad many years, we intend to change our laid back perceptive, Generally Malaysian are very approachable but shy in nature, more longer you live in Malaysia, more you in love with the people and the environment.

So I need more comments about locals attitude towards foreigners.

I have a great time with the locals.. then again I hang out with ppl who have the same interests as me. Metal, Fishing and watches. Didn't know anyone when i came here and don't hang out much with my wifes relatives. So for anyone looking for friends in Malaysia find the same crowd you would hang out with in your home country. Football esp seems 2 work for everyone here no matter the race or religion

BTW chaps... try to understand some of the locals.. being shy can be mistaken with being snobbish / unfriendly.

Having said that some of the foreigners can be obnoxious.. and that do intimidate the shy ones.

On a sidenote, for those who are suggesting elements of racism when it comes to difficulty in making local friends, bear in mind, like Omar said, that you do practice what you preach. For instance:-

1) Many southern Asian countries still practice the caste system. That's sort of like reverse racism. I have seen some 'brahmin' class foreigners refusing to sit on the same table with the local 'untouchables' indians.

2) Many islamic centric south asian nations have poor human rights and women rights as far as reputation is concerned. Malaysia is a pretty well connected country and cases such as rape prepetrated by such countries travel very fast on social media. They may be just apprehensive, not unfriendly. The case of the indian bus rape / murder and the pakistani shooting of a schoolgirl, honour killings and acid attacks .. are a point to note.

3) Some foreigners do push their luck, thinking they can get away with stuff..eg bribing, opening businesses with no licences etc, being disrespectful to the local women, 'marrying for visa' and other visa violations.. u name it. Its such actions that lead to over generalisation, to the detriment of genuine visitors from that country. It is no accident that now for instance, Malaysia is renowed to be the top operating base for Nigerian scammers (as reported by US embassy) and so much so that locals are very apprehensive with nigerians when they move into the neighbourhood.

If a country is like a house, always ask yourself when you are invited into a house by a host, ... 1. what am i doing here.. 2. what am i expecting from my host, and 3. what am I willing to give / contribute to my host.

You will notice those who can answer these questions honestly usually have no problems with their stay or making friends.

Regs
Jake

I truly agree with that . I wouldnt say that I am a very friendly person but people are people Every country you go to. Yea there are many good people in malaysia but yet some bad apples too . The thing I would like to point out which a local might deny would be that people judge foreigners according to their nationalities. For instance its much easier for a white man to make friends or get a girlfriend . Not just in malaysia but in south east asia as compared to other asians . Whenever I sit in a taxi or in a group of people. First they ask where I am from and then after knowing that I am from a third world country, they ..........lol......kinda lose interest but as soon as I tell them that I grew up in US which is a fact, their attitide changes a bit positive . I wont say completely positive cause I am not a white man.

Yes.. definitely, Omar... your nationality do count in the mix on your experiences here in Malaysia. Its either top down, or bottom up. Try to keep this in mind when you travel.

                          EXTERNAL
                        Geopolitical
                       Country Reputation
                       Past Experiences
                           
Foreigner <=================> Local
                          INTERNAL
                        Friendliness
                        Expectations
                        Prejudices
                        Personality

For instance... what happens in Kashmir ....stays in Kashmir... right? Would you sit down next to an indian national for dinner with an open heart?

Regs

I rather put Malaysians being so friendly to them responding to my fantastic personality than me being white. But Being Swedish and married to a Malay Is a great conversation starter

Omar - a comment on the interesting point you made about why white men can make friends and get a girlfriend. I think the general assumption is that white people are rich, or at least have enough money. I don't know if it comes from the colonization times. Another assumption is that white men can be manipulated easily, as they are often seen to be sociable and kind. I would like to mention that there is about 30% unemployment say in Spain, so migrants do come from Europe to the Far East for the same reasons as say foreign workers. I think a lot don't succeed in finding work as there are restrictions about minimum salaries and the openings in less well paid jobs go to people from the extended region. English language skills give advantages and if a person has been through an education system that teaches a wide range of life skills, rather than just knowledge, can make those people seem very confident and capable. However they can also be very competitive and ruthless.

Actually I would sit next to an indian with an.open.heart given if he or she the same mind too.

Lol thats a good one man of course u dont have to worry about that amd I do agree with about the points u have given