Getting married in Ethiopia

Melissa wrote:

At the end of January I am returning to Ethiopia for my 5th visit.  I am seriously considering closing up my house in the states and moving to Turmi in the south Omo Valley area of Ethiopia.  I do have a bit of a dilemma.  I am extremely close to two girls, one Habesha and 25 yrs old and the other (hang on for this) 16 years old and a Hamar.  The Hamar elders of her village actually offered her to me as my bride last year but I told them we would talk later.  The Hamar are still getting married as young as 12 or 13 yrs. old.  But that is definitely too young especially for a 67 year old like me. I would actually never even consider the age of 16 yrs. old except that whenever I am there, she is my constant shadow anyway!  My desire there would be more to protect her from the constant beatings inflicted on their wives by the Hamar husbands. I could never stand to see her physically as well as emotionally scarred by a life like that.   I have a very good friend from Addis that knows them both and says I could pretty much pick one or the other. I do understand the Ethiopian desire to improve their status in life and what extremes they might go through to achieve this.  What I have read indicates that in the more developed towns and cities of Ethiopia, marriage is not extremely hard for a 'westerner'.  What might I expect in aome place like Turmi, which is possibly the most rural area in the entire world.  I need information on the intricacies of marrying either the Habesha girl or the Hamar. Is it even legal for a foreigner to marry a girl from one of the tribes?  We are only guessing her age, the Hamar have no ages.  They are all just people.  And the younger girls are used to marrying considerably older men. She has no identification and cannot read. She can just barely, with much effort, write her name.  I want to make sure no one questions my intent.  Even though in my several trips, I have spent considerable time with both, I can honestly say I have done no more than shake their hands.  That is until this last time that I left. When shaking hands good by, I kissed the hand of each as I left.  And no, the two were NOT together when I did so.  I will happily take any and all suggestions and advice.  I am not too keen on TomfromHarar's advice to just live with one of them.  Unless that is really the accepted way to do things in Ethiopia. If I were to be accepted as a member of the Hamar tribe I could have more than one wife.  Now there's an idea!!  Marry them both.  No, I am a firm believer that one wife at a time is sometimes more than enough!  PLEASE HELP

Your situation sounds rather exotic. Spontaneously, I think you should consider adopting the sixteen year-old girl instead of marrying her. I am very curious to ask about your long-term plans. Are you going to live in a hut and adopt their lifestyle? Will you eventually move back to the US with her and what would she do there?
My advice would be to move there first and see if it is at all feasible to adapt and be accepted, whether with the sixteen or the twenty-four-year old. If you come to the realisation that what you are expecting isn't working out, then at least you wouldn't have to deal with some messy and emotional debacle of a divorce. On top of that, i presume that you are in no hurry to consume your marriage with this child as she is bordering on the age of legal consent. (Maybe she has not even remotely contemplated the idea of sex with you and is following you around because she is curious in the same way that a child would be curious of an extraterrestrial). In any case, it is doubtful that a sixteen-year-old girl anywhere in the world is particularly enthusiastic or attracted to someone that is four times their age. And if her motivation is to improve her situation, I think she expects her situation to be improved radically to justify this. Are you able and willing to live up to these expectations and is it what you want? Further, I suspect that there may be people there that have a challenging time to socially accept this, as well as becoming jealous/judgmental of her choice to marry and old Western man.
Before you make any life changing decisions, I would suggest painting up a few worst-case scenarios and how you would react/act in them.

Thank you for your input on my situation.  This will be my fourth time to live for three months each time in Turmi.  I have been accepted in the little settlement of Turmi very well.  I am hoping to build a mud house in town like the locals have. Two people have already offered me ground to do so on.  The Hamar members of Kaina village which is nearby are used to seeing me in their village all the time also.  Villagers keep inviting me to come eat with them.  The young girl is from Kaina and everyone is used to seeing her with me.  The 'argamo' or head elder of the village said I could build a traditional Hamar hut in the village if I so desire.  He made this offer at the same time he offered her to me as my bride.  I couldn't come up with a good argument why I wouldn't marry her since age differences mean nothing to them.  I couldn't use the 'old men can't always satisfy a young girls needs' because to the Hamar sex is only rape. Also young Hamar girls always marry men 3 or 4 times their age.  Young men usually live single until approaching middle age. They have absolutely no concerns for woman at all especially when they are young.  And no, I would NEVER bring an Ethiopian girl back to the states whether she was Habesha or Hamar.  That would only turn her into one of us, needing more and more and more all the time. They really have no understanding of the western world at all.  Even my friend who has lived in Addis, the capital of Ethiopia, all of his life, has no concept of it.  I told him how fast we drive here and he asked 'what about all the cows and goats on the road?' I think that explains my point.  In this part of Ethiopia which can't even be called rural, it is actually way out in the bush, it seems that the people want to improve their status in life but most want to improve it where they are.  I am contented with the lifestyle there and could easily give up the creature comforts that I have here for the quiet, slow lifestyle of the Omo valley region.  I still need to learn just what each of the girls really want out of life.  If one is not content staying in Turmi then that answers one question because I have no desire to live anywhere but in Turmi. I do need to clarify my acceptance there somewhat.  No bragging, just fact. In July when it was time for me to return to the states, my friend came to pick me up. Everyone in and around Turmi knew I was leaving.  There were more than 50 people both from town and from the two closest villages that showed up that morning to bid me farewell and load me down with gifts. The night before, the lady that owns the mud hotel where I stayed most of my nights, slaughtered and roasted an entire goat just for my friend and I.  It was great!! We invited her and her sister to join us for dinner. My friend told me that in all his years bringing people to Hamar country he had NEVER seen a sendoff anywhere close to what I was given.  I have put much thought into this and I know this is where I wish to live out the rest of my years.  I would just like a bit of company while I grow older.  Now I just need to learn the legal aspects and technicalities involved in  doing so.  Thanks again and I hope to hear more from you and any other posters on this blog/forum, whatever it is supposed to be called.

i got interested in the discussion because am dating an ethiopian girl i met in Dubai.i like this girl but am finding the marriage requirements prohibitive.she told me that according to her culture the tradtional demand i pay the family  100 gram best quality gold,which is 24 carat gold.i just checked on ebay,that may cost more than $5000, i dont know how i can go around this custom.i intend to get married in my country,Zambia.SOS

Hi Armand,

I am interested in finding a bride and settle in Ethiopia.

What is the best method to go about it.

Regards

Reynold

aroth wrote:

At the end of January I am returning to Ethiopia for my 5th visit.  I am seriously considering closing up my house in the states and moving to Turmi in the south Omo Valley area of Ethiopia.  I do have a bit of a dilemma.  I am extremely close to two girls, one Habesha and 25 yrs old and the other (hang on for this) 16 years old and a Hamar.  The Hamar elders of her village actually offered her to me as my bride last year but I told them we would talk later.  The Hamar are still getting married as young as 12 or 13 yrs. old.  But that is definitely too young especially for a 67 year old like me. I would actually never even consider the age of 16 yrs. old except that whenever I am there, she is my constant shadow anyway!  My desire there would be more to protect her from the constant beatings inflicted on their wives by the Hamar husbands. I could never stand to see her physically as well as emotionally scarred by a life like that.   I have a very good friend from Addis that knows them both and says I could pretty much pick one or the other. I do understand the Ethiopian desire to improve their status in life and what extremes they might go through to achieve this.  What I have read indicates that in the more developed towns and cities of Ethiopia, marriage is not extremely hard for a 'westerner'.  What might I expect in aome place like Turmi, which is possibly the most rural area in the entire world.  I need information on the intricacies of marrying either the Habesha girl or the Hamar. Is it even legal for a foreigner to marry a girl from one of the tribes?  We are only guessing her age, the Hamar have no ages.  They are all just people.  And the younger girls are used to marrying considerably older men. She has no identification and cannot read. She can just barely, with much effort, write her name.  I want to make sure no one questions my intent.  Even though in my several trips, I have spent considerable time with both, I can honestly say I have done no more than shake their hands.  That is until this last time that I left. When shaking hands good by, I kissed the hand of each as I left.  And no, the two were NOT together when I did so.  I will happily take any and all suggestions and advice.  I am not too keen on TomfromHarar's advice to just live with one of them.  Unless that is really the accepted way to do things in Ethiopia. If I were to be accepted as a member of the Hamar tribe I could have more than one wife.  Now there's an idea!!  Marry them both.  No, I am a firm believer that one wife at a time is sometimes more than enough!  PLEASE HELP

- I don't mean to be rude but that is the most craziest thing i have ever heard . Oh my god se is only 16 how the hell can any of you be okay with this. She is 16 not 26 she is still a child . I am getting so upset right now how can you ever do that to her you have your childhood she deserves to have hers!! She deserves to get a chance to fall in love with the man she choices not the man someone chose for her. Honey even if you marry her in the end of the day you know deep down you were not her choice . You were just something she was forced to do . If ou love her than u have to let her go love her enough to leave her alone . If u want to save her than save her but after you have saved her let her be free.

BigCharlie wrote:

i got interested in the discussion because am dating an ethiopian girl i met in Dubai.i like this girl but am finding the marriage requirements prohibitive.she told me that according to her culture the tradtional demand i pay the family  100 gram best quality gold,which is 24 carat gold.i just checked on ebay,that may cost more than $5000, i dont know how i can go around this custom.i intend to get married in my country,Zambia.SOS

Ummm that is such BS because i am Ethiopian that is not culture , Honey i think you are being played!! My cousin that live in ethiopia got married over a year ago and that was not a requirement!!!

I have an Ethiopian girl friend and in May I wish to travel there to see her.. If I marry her, what are the requirements for her to move with me back to the US?

Interesting, indeed it is!!

I must admit that I found this thread very interesting. I was born in Ethiopia. Unfortunately, I don't know much about what is happening in the country when it comes to marriage; or relationship between a man and a woman for that matter. Lived in number of countries and experienced some of the characteristics demonstrated in tominharar's article. It is natural that Ethiopians, being in "third world" country, might expect the ferenjis to be in a better position financially than they are, hence seek some of it one way or another. But this is not something attributed only to Ethiopians. I have seen and lived a similar phenomenon among number of nations, including Americans and Canadians. Now, when it comes to the nature of Ethiopian women, I must admit that Fikirte nailed it, " Guys, there is no universal truth on Ethiopian women, we are like the others !!!"

Whatever the situation is I would like to remind tominharar that maybe it is not a bad thing to marry the whole family. It looks bad to you because you looked at it only from one angle, money.

To ethio007: You asked why your woman is not taking you to her parent? Well, my friend, there could be more than one answer to that question. Maybe she is just taking her time to check you out, which is a healthy step. Or it could also mean that her parent had someone else in place for her, hence she doesn't want them to know she is living a life that is in conflict with their arrangements for her. I can go on with more hypothesis. Just take your time, as time is the only one that holds the real answer to your question.

Good day

BigCharlie wrote:

i got interested in the discussion because am dating an ethiopian girl i met in Dubai.i like this girl but am finding the marriage requirements prohibitive.she told me that according to her culture the tradtional demand i pay the family  100 gram best quality gold,which is 24 carat gold.i just checked on ebay,that may cost more than $5000, i dont know how i can go around this custom.i intend to get married in my country,Zambia.SOS

Heheheh, 100 gram best quality gold?  Talk about gold digger!! My brother, I am originally from Ethiopia. I am not sure if there is such custom in that part of Africa. But again, Ethiopia is a big place with all type of ethnics, languages and traditions. Possibly there maybe such culture. After all, I think an Ethiopian woman is worth more than 100 gram of gold. Give it to her, if you are really into her, no matter what the outcome is. Just Do It!! Express yourself:-)

Good day

MGT

[Moderated: Off topic]

Thanks for posting your story. I met a woman online and at first it seemed like a good idea to marry her, then when it got into a discussion about money and cost, it went downhill from there, unfortunately. Her brother (uncle?) lived in Colorado. This was the first lie btw, since she told me that he was her brother, and then he had to correct her. Also, he told me that he would go with me to Ethiopia. I would need to bring an additional 1000 to 2000 dollars with me. I asked for what was this needed. He told me that I didn't need to know that. The lies began to pile up and eventually trust was broken. The last conversation ended in an argument with her reaming me about changing my mind. So sad that they couldn't keep their stories straight. Hey, it was fun while it lasted. A pipe dream. My advice. Yeah. A long engagement. She was determined for me to marry her there in Ethiopia. I couldn't touch here there though until she got here, where she could do what she wanted.

[Moderated: This is not a dating website]

Wow, i have just read through this blog and i must admit i really enjoyed the comments. Now just one thing i woulds like to add. Most of these comments are aimed at westerner men who marry or are thinking of having a serious relationship with Ethiopian women. However the assumption has always been that the western foreigner is white. Well, as an African American let tell you how i met my Ethiopian Queen. I met my wife in 2004 in Addis Ababa, she was a Journalist who i happened to meet in Bole. i was lost and just saw her leaving an office building and without controlling myself i uttered the words "God dang!!!" and went over to her and asked her directions. My first impressions were how genuinely friendly, humble and polite she was, i mean this lady was drop dead gorgeous and 100% sophistication and class.  Well after she gave me the directions i thanked her and went on my way thinking.... "thats is wife material".
2 weeks later i was in the supermarket and who do i see shopping....you guessed Miss Universe, my Ethiopian queen who gave me directions. I was very intimidated by her beauty and at first i did not think she would recognise me in the sea of faces in the supermarket... but she did and smiled and came over to me and asked if i had found my destination ok. Well from that encounter we became friends and during that friendship i learned that Ethiopians were not use to meeting handsome African Americans in Addis and that most foreigners encountered by Ethiopians tended to be white. Well after a year of getting to know her, meeting her wonderful family we married in Addis Ababa. We now live in the USA for 9 years and have 2 beautiful children and my wife is the most spiritual and loving woman i have ever met...she practically lives in the Orthodox church. She is my rock and the funny thing is that when i met her family, brothers sisters friends etc, i got on really well with them. When my wife tells people she is married to an American, they automatically think i am white, but when they meet me there is a sense of surprise but with it genuine feeling of warmth and pride.
I do feel sorry for those who have been used by any woman in a dishonorable way. It is true that worldwide some women and men will see foreigners as a green card or exit visa. But the truth is don't be blinded by beauty and sex appeaal, get to know the person and their family and look out for the tell tale signs because the signs are there. Ethiopian women are drop dead gorgeous, but God has also given you wisdom and a discerning spirit, if it looks and feels too good to be true and you feel used, then the reality probably is that......you are an exit visa!

Very true.. everywhere there are these types..

Hello, I've read a few of the posts here and most of them are basically addressing things that don't really stick to the topic at hand, "Getting married in Ethiopia". So today, I've joined in the hopes of getting some real answers to some real serious questions. For instance, if I'm a U.S. citizen working in Saudi Arabia, are there any parts of the marriage process possibly completed here before my travel to Ethiopia. In other words, does any part of the process concern me visiting my Embassy for approval to be married in Ethiopia? If so can I do it at the U.S. Embassy in Riyadh?
Now, I understand from reading earlier posts that I will need passport photo's. I'll make certain to bring lots of them. I also know that being that I am divorced, I will need a legal copy of my divorce decree with a seal on it. I will make certain to have that. Of course, I will also have my passport on me, but can anyone think of any items that I may have missed in the aforementioned.
I really need your help guys. I want this to go as smoothly as possible.
I don't need to know about the cultural thing because I have a strong sense of family and understand the struggles we all face. So, please if possible, only give me info regarding:

1.The costs of getting married in Ethiopia.

2.How long does the process take(1 week, 2 weeks etc.).

3.Do you get your legal copy of the marriage certificate that same day of the wedding that can be presented to the Saudi Embassy for her visa to be stamped in her passport?

4.Do I need to visit the U.S. Embassy there in Ethiopia.

5.Can I download the marriage application off the internet and fill it out prior to my arrival in Ethiopia?

Thanks in advance for helping me. I promise that once I've gone through the process that I will help others in return.

great, just great

Hi elizabethan,

Can you please introduce introduce yourself are you getting married soon? Please feel free to share experience and thoughts.

Thank you,

David.

P.S: Sorry for off topic.

iam like toooiont knowend in Ethiopia .o much Ethiopia. I have one friend in Ethiopia. but I don't know she is where. I need one friend.

Hi 121212,

Welcome to Expat-Blog

You are a bit off topic here

Do you have any information regarding the formalities to get married in Ethiopia ?

Thank you

Maximilien
Expat-blog Team

[moderated: off topic]

It works out better if people marry women closer to there own age too. I have been married for 2 years to my Ethiopian wife and also have a 1 year old son with her. We both get along fine the only support I give over to her family is for her own grandmother who raised my wife she to old to work and no one ells to support her so we do it from time to time we send extra to her mother and send gifts to her brother's and sister. When I was in Addis Ababa last with my Ethiopian wife I seen some men from Europe in there 50s how are in a relationship with Ethiopian women in their 20s makes me wonder what is the deal with that anyway what do they expect if their relationship don't last anyway.

Just marry a women closer to you're own age and don't flash money around they don't like that. Respect their culture and don't make promise to their family or friends. Ethiopians are very easy to get along with just be yourself marriage is easy if you have the heart of an Ethiopian women just make sure she not a party girl they have some of them like that as well they are hard to settle down and not ready for marriage. My wife is Ethiopian our marriage is good we have a child together and she is same age as me it is difficult in a relationship if to much an age gap and most times don't work out no one want's to marry an old guy if they can have their own age remember that before you bringing any girl to a country you don't want to be a ticket for them and end with a broken heart.

It don't cost much 25 US dollars have 2 photos and a letter from your birth death and marriage showing that you are not married to anyone ells. It only take one day to marry just go to the Ethiopian marriage board in Addis Ababa just take note bringing Ethiopian wife to the USA isn't easy and can take time money you got to show you can support her and the marriage is real. A lot get sent back home because they failed the immigration questions or had failed to tell the immigration important things that immigration found they didn't answer on or they never mentioned it on there application all answers must be answered truthful or face been deported and even ban from replying an another application. Immigration is making it harder for partner visa to protect citizens from lying spouses.

Wow OK it happens world wide. Though don't give up because you met wrong girl on internet. I met my wife on the internet from Ethiopia I end up marrying her and now have a one year old child. If you go to Addis Ababa Ethiopia you will meet a good women don't marry anyone unless you get to know them first and don't even mention marriage to them be a friend go there have good time get closer to the girl then decide this what I did I meet a great women and my wife.

You have to show proof you can support her the visa isn't cheap looking around 3000 US dollars most likely a 2 years for Grant in the mean time you can bring her on a visitor visa till her spouse visa is granted it isn't easy to prove a new relationship is real so you would have to show a lot of evidence. email conversation you have had and answer a lot questions truthfully the immigration have their ways on finding out immigrants past and your relationship though it is easy for you to visit her a few times get to know each other first properly in person show evidence of this relationship is ongoing and marry her with some of your families there as whiteness it makes it easy for you to bring her to the USA and shows you didn't rush into it.

I met my Ethiopian wife on a holiday there. We got along well and the sparks were flying. Before long we were married and she now lives with me in Brisbane Australia. Our relationship is very genuine, however anyone considering do do the same should be prepared for a few surprises of the culture shock kind:

She prays several hours every day. I am not a religious person so when she prays I busy myself with things like work or house chores. Quite frankly, I can drive me mad when I do all the work and she practices her faith. Our marriage is young, and I lover her very much, but I do wonder how things will be in 10 years. Will I still be so patient?

Her attitude to money is quite frankly childish by western standards. She asked to control the household budget so I gave her a few hundred dollars for food. She then went off with a friend and told me that she had lent her the money! She also expects to have an unlimited telephone line to Ethiopia. Skype is not practical because her folks do not have internet at home. When her father has the cold, she expects me to send him money so that he can fly to an Addis hospital from his country town. When one of her 4 brothers wants a laptop, I have to engage in lengthy discussion why that is not my problem.

It seems that the Ethiopian attitude to money is quite shameless towards white man. Every street corner has a Western Union branch and the entire country expects the world to give them money. Never mind that they are completely irresponsible with their family size. I believe any charity should be tied to education on birth control. Ethiopian poverty is substantially caused by the far to large family size.

Oh and when I work in my business, my darling wife expects to be able to see her girl friends rather than give me a hand.

We will see where this goes, I am starting to look past the incredible beauty and happy nature of my wife and wonder if there really is a long term future for us. .

Brisbane_John 

Welcome to Expat.com. Hope you find this answer helpful.

You don't just marry her you marry the whole family. 

She has status as she is married to an expat and living overseas and so she needs to reflect this in what you have described in your post. You will be expected to dish out money as and when required and, as you have been doing so already, she will want this to happen when she wants. 

Hindsight is an exact science but you have made a rod for your own back by giving in to her. You should have discussed all of these things with her before you were married and laid the ground rules for the future. It may not be too late to have an honest discussion with her about this and see how she reacts. This reaction may either bode well for the future of your relationship or to the detriment of it.

I am speaking from experience here as I am married to an Asian lady and was well aware of the pitfalls before we got married.

My Ethiopian friends would say that she is more than a more than a little over the top and you should endeavor to do something about it.

please take into consideration some points before married: I know from experience things to watch out for [A],friendly family {B],sex on the first night [C]if they are     orthodox Christians and they hate Ethiopian Muslims [D],quick marriage& ceremonies,[E].changing best man to someone you don't know because he/she        understands English [f] also any ties with the Muslim brother hood [G]  demand for money through western union [H] black markets for money exchange instead of using a bank.{I] Passport corruption and fraud because they lost their original one,,,,,,,,cheers aussiepeople...

be very careful my aussie brother you are heading a disaster ask me I know, keep an eye on international phone numbers,don't be afraid to ring that  number could be her other boyfriend or other husband  ......cheers jk  aussie people..

I am new to this forum and would like to get some one on one advice on how I should pursue this in the situation I am in.

I am not in the same situation but I met a few here in the middle east where there are more restrictions on our movement. Several of them are here and even though I am under a lot of restrictions, I still was able to meet a few. The ones that work on the FOB all come in as a group, go straight to work at this ladies hair salon that only do braids and they then all leave the FOB as a group so its impossible to really get to speak to them. They NEVER go to the PX or any place else on the FOB, If you are lucky you may catch one going to and from the restroom at the MWR but they don't stop and talk to anyone, walking and running real fast to and then from the MWR. Its like their boss only gives them less than 30 seconds to go and come back. These ladies are not allowed to eat in the dining facility, they are basically isolated from everybody else on the FOB and it gets on my nerves. I swore they are the mot isolated group of foreign nationals on the FOB because 99.9% of people don't even know they are here. Unless you are a  woman getting your braids done. Since men have no reason to go into the women's hair salon, its impossible to meet them. The other two hair salons on the FOB are unisex but is only Filipino women, mostly old women and the two young ones got every dude that come in there flirting so as a result they are stuck up.  So you are lucky to be at the FOB you are in if you like Ethiopian women. You can take your time and meet as many as you want and  make a decision on who you like the most or click with.  I was only able to meet 3 and all three are interested in me but since I am on so many restrictions it is hard for me to spend time with any of them, even officers are on the same restrictions here. The American civilians that work here got it made with a huge advantage, they can go and come when they please and go anywhere in Kuwait City and meet as many as they want. But they are mostly only interested in the Filipino women and Lebanese women that work in the city.  Good luck in your situation.

ebony4real wrote:

Wow I cannot believe that you Ethiopian men are trashing your own women. The women that carried you in their body and that You so called men is willing to let any Tom Dick or Harry come into YOUR country and trash YOUR women. No one asked any of those foreigners (illegals) to come into YOUR country anyway. They are there mainly for exploitation of not only the lands, its resources but also the people. YOU all had better look at the history of the people that you are so quick to defend.The ones that have brought to your lands in the form of HIV to aid you your country men. Solution bring your own women and you will have no problem Right?(maybe not, since it is obvious thats why you want someone elses women). The African country and continent is in trouble in the worst way since you all have allowed the devil into the mist! You had better remember this continent (Africa) have been in existance long before any Other nations rose to power and indeed taught the barbarians civilization how to be civilized from Timbuktu. Africa is a DARK continent so why are you all there. I know who you are the ones that have pretend to bring peace with war weapons of mass distruction and bioligical warfare against a peaceful people. Yes YOU! you have brought nothing but war, poverty, death and destruction to every nation across this earth that have foolishly allowed you in. How DARE!!! any of you others to blog about how bad it is in Africa! because it is that way because of the people like YOU. You all have envaded the lands of a beautiful peaceful people and of course bringing with you a religion and a GOD that YOU don't believe in. Judging by your past and present malicious history of death, distruction mayhem, thievery and your take over spirits YOU DO NOT BELIEVE! when you enter other lands most are considered a paradise when you leave if ever it is hell in the worst way ask the American Indians, oops you can't they are all mostly dead;500 nations of native americans men women and babies. Africa you had better stand your ground before you find yourselves like the Native Americans a people NOW without a land, a GOD, with a dead culture and are called aliens in their own home land! Thats exactly where you will find yourselves if you get lulled asleep and forget who it is that you are dealing with and is not very very careful not to get dupted in the process!!!!


Lost lioness In the belly of the Beast

ouch!! Bombshell!!!This might be seen and interpreted as a very balistic message... BUT i am sorry... it is true and I DO agree... @ebony4real you are brother/sister... This is in the line with the topic though... People are the not same individualy but the generality of an historic matter speaks by itself....

Hi Everyone,

I have a bit of a different query than those that have been placed on this forum thus far.  I will keep it very simple.

Can two foreigners, US citizens for example, be married in Ethiopia?

My fiancee's parents, of Indian origin, were both married in Addis 30 years ago, but we were not sure if the rules had changed since then.  My fiancee and I are both American citizens currently living in Saudi Arabia, and are hoping to expedite getting married.  Could we take a few days, shoot to Addis, and get it done?

Any advice is much appreciated!

don't do it. run if you are  unless an old  white man, then   you are a god;  even then  she'll give you a kid then take off.

I am a young  ( 38) handsome ( been told) never married no kids well built    blackman who told an Ethiopian woman I was not rich .   told her I was planning to finish a degree in robotics and then give her the world.  took her to live plays top restaurant's horse boat rides,  .  taught her to drive bought her a good used lexus ( my car was old) she didn't have to work enrolled her in school

  all she did was complain and tear me down told me I was old and to late n life. she was 34; even called the cops on me for absolutely no reason   ( she didn't realize that if she accused me of violence then her status would be automatic, thank god, I would have had a felony for zero reason )

.  after six months we separated and come time for the greencard she was denied  because the official thought it was a scam. I persuaded her differently and my spouse was given a greencard.

about six months later we separated again my nerves were shot and i dropped out of school and was depressed. a year later I was broke took a crap job and was slowly coming out of a depression my car broke down I lost my job had no place to stay , and ended up ..homeless.    my ex called was ready to see me( was near the adjustment of status phase)   I told her the truth, and within three months she sent me divorce papers. I was in a homeless shelter.

within one year she had a baby by an guy who was 16 years older out of shape   and he looked like honestly picture an almost albino  jay z. seriously who lived in another state. she lived in Maryland and he in texas. he was a part time teacher with a crud house no money.

I figured it out :  within a six month period she divorced me met him online  all he had to do was show up have sex with her and  she married him.     when the baby came she lived with him for three months ( fmla)  . she was not worried about citizenship because at the time of interview it doesn't even matter at that point I could have said I was laid off  or going to school whatever. ( within six months I had an apt an two used vehicles !!) everything she did for him she could have done for me since we were already married.

Ethiopian women worship light skin ( not just her)  the whole affair was sickening.. worse one year later she wanted to get back with me,  I think she was either afraid of him  or was concerned about her adjustment ( because she didn't realize the original application was based on our marriage and she had to go through a waiver process)

I recently by email forgave her and sent her an excellent book  on Ethiopian history, things he didn't know, she is a accountant now  9 half of that I paid for) has never apologized or said thank you

not trying to scare yo but RUN you are paying for love and its a scam.  man look in addis ( where she is from0 prostitution is a way of life. ones like my ex are high maintenance that way they hide it better.

goodluck

Ok, it has been a while since I posted on the forum, but I just wanted to respond to a number of points raised by foreigners who appear to have been used by Ethiopian women.
Before I start let me just say that I am a non Ethiopian who has been married for 10 years to my wonderful Ethiopian wife and we have two adorable girls aged 8 and 4 years old. One of the things I have noticed in the forum is that most of the men who appeared to have been used by Ethiopian women are older men. Guy, rule number one, if you are sitting in a bar, restaurant or elsewhere and a drop dead gorgeous teenager/ 20 something Miss Universe Ethiopian beauty comes over to you for conversation and hints of marriage then alarm bells should be sounding in your head.
Rule number two: If you are an older guy and you meet a drop dead gorgeous, Miss Universe on the internet in a chatroom/dating agency do not for the trick of sending money or arranging to fly out to meet her in Ethiopia.
Now this is common sense and applies to whether you are inclined to meet any beauty in a developing country. Remember you should be seen as a potential Mr Visa or Green card...... use COMMON SENSE!!!
Now that being said I have know many many expats/foreigners who like myself have found love and marriage in Ethiopia. Here is how you do it:
(1) No respectable Ethiopian beauty is going to throw herself at you on your first meeting and offer their fantastic body to you for your pleasure
(2) Ethiopia is a very religious country, and the women whether Christian or Muslim have a morale code that they follow with regards to relationship and how it is seen by their parents/community. Now this is not always the case, promiscuous women exist world wide and just as you can walk in to a bar in Manhattan and find a successful beautiful rich lawyer/ doctor who may be willing to have a one night stand, the same applies to some women in addis ababa, the difference is that they are most likely mature older ladies looking for a good time.
Relationships take time and patience, knowing the family, the person you are in a relationship with. If she is a devote orthodox for example then the likely hood is that she will be scared out of her mind to be seen with you without her parents/brother's permission.
Now finally, there are some women who have strong spiritual values, loving family and who are highly respected in their community who dream of getting out of poverty and making a better life for themselves overseas. You may be lucky enough to meet someone like this by chance in Ethiopia or even on the internet, however the difference is these women would not treat you badly and misuse you, just study their mannerism and you can tell....it's common sense.

To sum up, yes you will meet some women who will use you and abuse you...this happens in any country in the world. But remember whether you meet an Ethiopian Goddess in a bar or by chance or online ...USE COMMON SENSE!!! and you will not be hurt. If you see signs of a potentially scam.......RUN LIKE USAIN BOLT and do not look back

One love

First things 1'st, to get married in Ethiopia you must prove your status of availability by getting prof from your
state secretary proving you've never been married or that you have a finalized divorce from your most recent
marriage. You can also get a affidavit stating you are not married at the U.S. Embassy for $35.00 that's what
the cost was as of April, 2012. Once you get this form taken care of you will need a set of passport size photo's
they cost about $10.00 there are many photo studios in Kircos. You will need 2 photo I.D.s a copy of each 1, so make sure you have clean color copies made of them, DO NOT USE YOUR PASSPORT; for 1 of these ID's..
  You will need 2 witnesses, they must have a photocopy of their I.D. as well & they have to be there at the time
of the ceremony, do not take some 1 with you who can't be there for the full process.
  Make sure your spouse to be has their prof of "Single Status" & two different photocopied i.d.'s..
In all it will cost about 4 days & $75.00 to get this done, that's not including the cost of the ring's.

Umm! how do you say this in a tasteful way, "Make Sure You Consummate Your Marriage!" ...

   By the way Ethiopia has a Domestic Cohabitation Law, meaning you must return with 2 years of your wedding date
or you can be charged with abandonment & have the marriage brought to a sudden end. Do not marry any 1 who can not show you where their family live's or a birth certificate. Make sure you go to the bank they use so you are not scammed. All in all, do the work don't just enjoy the night life.