Marrying an indian bf

Hi juz14girl and welcome to Expat.com!

Your thread has been moved to Philippines forum for better visibility.

Harmonie.

Love is blind

But if he is from a conservative family then you had it so remember HASTE MAKE WASTE

Think it over & then take this step cause 7 months is nothing not enough

I am too married to a Filipino I am too an Indian but with the grace of god we have a lovely & wonderful life

I am not discouraging you it just that I have stayed will Filipinos for  almost 20 years so I know the way you live and your lifestyle

All the best for your future

Hi...juz14girl

If you both love each other it doesn't matter if it's acceptable to his tradition or not, anyway you will not marry in India and you will not sleep with his Indian parents or relatives.I don't think it's not legal in their country, just they have beliefs or tradition just to marry same Indian, but I knew so many Indians married with american girl, or married with Filipina. If you plan to marry then he should have all requirements needed proving he's single,or if he's divorce then you need his divorce certificate.I think he need to get legal capacity,Or if he's already living with you in Philippines, then you should get CENOMAR ( Certificate of No Marriage )try to get it from NSO office and then pay, I don't know how long it takes to have result, but if you marry the local it takes days but if you marrying foreigner I am sure it takes 3 to 6 months, mine i had result in 6 months of waiting, but i don't know now,maybe not that long anymore, just ask in NSO. It takes long because they check the Records all over Philippines to know if you've been married or not.If you're minor age like below 24 years old then you really need to apply for Marriage license, you have to bring your parents to the lawyer but before that, ask your parents to get cedula you will need it for affidavit. Go to lawyer private or public just pick your choice. Bring your parents with you, but make sure you have the copy of your boyfriend passport, you'll need his info.Ask the Attorney to make an Affidavit of consent for Marriage, this require for minor age means below 24 yrs. old. The affidavit of consent for marriage it contains about your name, age, address, your passport number, your parents infos, and also it contains the information of your boyfriend, his name age, address and his parents info too.After that your parents should sign the affidavit.The attorney will sign and sealed it. Then bring that documents prepared your baptismal, birth certificate, your parents marriage cert. visit your local registration office, then apply for marriage license, when everything is done then you and your boyfriend could find a judge, pastor or priest as long as they are licensed means legal to marry anyone.Then make an arrangement, deal your marriage, after marriage the Pastor , Priest or Judge will give you Certificate of Marriage. The pastor , judge or Priest is responsible to register your marriage, give them at least 1 week to process it, to register your marriage. And check your local registration office after 1 week, try to apply for a copy of marriage certificate just to check if your marriage is legal, if no result means your marriage still not registered. If they don't do that then complain to them,if they forget to register your marriage and you know that they are not illegal, then may you register your marriage by self. When everything is fine, bring the copy of your Marriage certificate in NSO and fill up application form, you have to request NSO copy of your marriage certificate.Then send your NSO copy of Marriage Cert. in DFA for authentication,they will attach 1 page of document with Red ribbon, it has dry seal and your document it's like from Malacanang.This is just to make your marriage papers valid,after marriage, your Indian husband probably has to report to India Embassy about his marriage with you.He has to submit the report of Marriage to make your marriage also valid or legal in India. or else you will not have rights in India as a wife because you married in Philippines only. So, he has to report to his homeland,He has to fill up the form and submit that marriage certificate that authenticated by DFA to make your marriage registered in India.
Well, good luck!

Believe me it's not so easy the ways it sounds I have gone through all these offices and it's waste of time then finally got it done with money and it was very easy did not need to go anywhere for anything

If you marry an Indian and move back to India and live with his family who may not accept a non Indian Hindu/Muslim wife, you are in a world of trouble.

dhnindc...


world of trouble????
you mean the man's family may hurt her?

Come on don't make it difficult for Beng

See it all depends on the to be husbands parents if they are from conservative family they will not let him marry you until unless you both runaway and get married or if they agree

Next if he is Hindu and you Christian you might have to change your name and religion after marriage ( not a must again depends on his parents and maybe him are you willing for that)

But if he is a Muslim you have to do the same

Now are you willing to change you food habits maybe after marriage he says you are not going to eat any sea foods or baboy etc then what are you ready to scrafice & if he is a Muslim you can never in your life eat baboy it's against in their religion to eat that

Better sit with him face to face and clear out all possible doubts in your mind cause if you ask ten people they will give you thousand advices which maybe correct or may not be correct

You both have to decide what you want and don't want in your lives

You should not regret in what you did afterwards




If they are pure vegetarian you will suffer

hi Sharina,
i think the most important document your bf needs to provide is his Legal Capacity to marry..

i am a filipina too, married for 17 yrs to a bangladeshi guy, and we got married in the philippines, too. we got married without the knowledge of his parents, they are muslim. and i am a Christian. religion was never an issue to us. i respect what he believes and i got the freedom to do my religious activities. the first time he took me to his country for a visit, i was so worried that maybe his family wont accept me. he is the only son and the eldest, among the brood of 3, but it turned out well. i have a very good relationships with my in-laws. since then, we go home there every year...

in our case, our marriage happened so fast. i used to be an ofw... and when i went home for a vacation, my bf wanted to meet my family... so, after sometimes he followed me there... and right after he met my father, he asked him, that he wanted to marry me asap! i was shocked! as already told him that, i was not yet ready to get married.. i was showing some protest against his intention, but my father had agreed. (being a conservative, he was worried that, what would be the other people may think and say about me/us!)..so, it was arranged the next day, he seems to be prepared, i was surprised, when he got with him a Legal Capacity to Marry doc. however, the judge asked him to get that paper authenticated to the Bangladesh Embassy first! but that time, was quite impossible to do so, as we live in the province, and didn't have enough time, to go their embassy in Makati and be back for the ceremony.. my holiday would be over in a couple of days time, and besides, there was a typhoon coming... so, he request/convinced the judge to officiate our marriage and promised to send back an authenticated doc right away. well, that judge was not that easily to give in, but after sometimes (an hour), the judge had agreed in a condition that, he will not release to us our Marriage Cert. unless he his authencated docs. be submitted..... and again, some more convincing he did with their consular officers but of course he got it!

best advice of all don,t marry an indian women are not treated as equals but as servants to their male masters .

sookie31 wrote:

best advice of all don,t marry an indian women are not treated as equals but as servants to their male masters .

That would go for most old men looking for a young wife to take place of their momma from the 1950s!

dhnindc wrote:

sookie31 wrote:

best advice of all don,t marry an indian women are not treated as equals but as servants to their male masters .

That would go for most old men looking for a young wife to take place of their momma from the 1950s!

that is very true i don,t fall into this bracket btw .

sookie31 wrote:

best advice of all don,t marry an indian women are not treated as equals but as servants to their male masters .

The Filipino men treat their filipina wives very well right,the men never beat their wives nor they cheat on them,Eighty percent filipina women marrying expat why? If the Filipino men are good

Filipina women marry foreigners to get out of a life of poverty. Ok, maybe over stereo typing, but if there is a 20+ year age gap, well, enough said.

I AGREE i hate to see old pensioners with young 20 somethingers on there arms here in the phillipines .they are the girls that give most phillipinas a bad name .and yes vijay the phillipino men do treat their wives badly its common here for a phillipino man to have a mistress something that I dissagree totally with ,maybe thats why so many women look to the west to see if all men are like this .well i,m british and treat women with utmost respect ,but its all about different cultures i guess .

Well you cannot blame the women if they marry their fathers age men cause of poverty & the unstablilty of their local men as well as insecurity too

Hi,

Just joined this blog and found your comment

i am a bangladeshi and happily married to my filipina gf for last 5 years.

Just happy to know that we are not a lonely couple

Take care

you know very well that most indian men treat women badly and I never said philippino men were any better .As for the age gap philippinos are quite happy with an age gap higher than normal but you would,nt be accepted so readily in the U.K .

[moderated: inappropriate message.]

Mind your words Itanvir.
There are many Indians married filipinas and living here and in India happily.

hi, may i ask ..are bangladeshi people has similarity to indian people?

sounds true,,,..

catcat_11 wrote:

hi, may i ask ..are bangladeshi people has similarity to indian people?

Yes they are....


Beware, beware, beware, women have few rights in their culture. The men pretty much own their wives, like a Philippino owns a baboy. Not trying to correlate pigs with people but the ownership concept, idea, is all too real. It's not just the husband that enforces the control, it's the other women too, they will demand that you conform to your Husband's / Master's wishes. And they have no problem physically beating you when you don't conform. 

It's a (huge) cultural clash. Marrying an Indian and staying in the Philippines, is one thing, marrying an Indian and then moving into their brutally harsh culturally rigid environment, is a horse of an entirely different color.

Much of this information that I speak to you about here is [ classed based ]. If you have money, you can escape some of the more stringent, strident, parts of Indian, Bangladeshi, Pakistan, Afghanistan, culture. If you don't have money there is a high probability you're moving into a life of servitude, that will be exceedingly hard to escape.

It's not (bad) per say, the people there do it and are happy about it. But it's what they were raised in, grew up in, so it seems normal and natural to them. Your being from the Philippines, you have been raised, and grew up in a (very different) culture. Including religion too... I've traveled a lot and lived in different countries and I have also studied culture at the University level. And, I've also been to and spent some time in the heartland of India, weeks...

No where I've been, in the world, in my lifetime, is anywhere near what one experiences in their great country. India is truly the definition of the proverbial [  brand new game ]. Bangladesh is merely India down below. Think of it as Luzon compared to the Visayas.

I highly, highly recommend, you go and take a serious look, before you leap off into the unknown. No offense to the great Indian people, their great culture, their great history, et-al. But it's theirs, it's complicated and unforgiving. In every sense of India, is a brand new game.... If you're one of those super brave souls, of whom are comfortable playing with cobras... well, there's nothing more to be said.

Though they are neighbours, the difference in their culture is still huge, it might look similar from far (i mean from a weterners point of view) but if you look closely you will find them to be different, and one of the major reason here is the religion, where Indians are Hindu and Bangladeshis are muslims. language is also different though a lot of people in Bangladesh will be able to understand hindi these days

okay very well said.now i got more ideas.and isnt buddism is also one of the bangladeshis religion.i would like to know more about this things bec i want to be more aware of my bf‘s place whch is chittagong.

Shahidzmn778 wrote:

Though they are neighbours, the difference in their culture is still huge, it might look similar from far (i mean from a weterners point of view) but if you look closely you will find them to be different, and one of the major reason here is the religion, where Indians are Hindu and Bangladeshis are muslims. language is also different though a lot of people in Bangladesh will be able to understand hindi these days

"(i mean from a weterners point of view)"

Alright bud, let's take a "Westerners" (point) of [view].



Religious group    Population

           1975  1990   2010
Muslim       84%     87%    89%
Hindu       15.4% 12.1%    9.5%
Christian  0.3%     0.4%    0.6%
Buddhist   0.3%     0.5%    0.7%

The total population of Bangladesh is about 155-160 million.

India's total population is much bigger (all) know this, [except maybe Philippino's],  Philippino's are very poor on the understanding of geography, or population density, or foreign politics, for example "the Indian culture of marriage".  I've asked Philippino's which way is China...most of them just look and blink. I guess it's something they don't study much in school, but to talk of countries around the world, as in geopolitical conversation, it does not get far.

The Muslim population of India alone is greater than the entire population of Bangladesh.
 
Indian Muslim population 2013, is 176 million. So now that we clearly recognize that India has a large and active Muslim population, not just Hindu... The latest knifes edge of population demographic groups, say, and I easily believe them India has a greater Muslim population than Pakistan, second only Indonesia. To make it clear, India has the 2nd largest Muslim population in the world. Now let's move on to the next piece.

Culture: I had stated that Bangladesh is culturally similar to India / Pakistan, well let's see if it is and why.... Start with the part that SCREAMS.... the geography of pre 1947 India, and Pakistan, with no Bangladesh, because it was still part of Pakistan, and India proper for how many years? British India, and before? Bangladesh only recently separated from Pakistan, about 40 years ago, but the indigenous people did not leave, there were not, and have not been major migrations, or fluxes of people in and out of the area of Bangladesh, other than culturally similar Indian Muslims. So with very little thought, it's easy to see, culturally speaking, Pakistan / India is the New Bangladesh.

Well,  yes there is religion... I did mention it before,  but there is a powerful sect of Muslims in Old India, and it's the same place the Muslims in Bangladesh came from, India, via Pakistan.... They are [ Sunni-Muslims], the same brand as in Pakistan, the same brand as in the Middle East. But Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, are just one giant Old India soup, (at least it seems that way to me). Large and diverse, there's always some variance but it is still a very strong Old India soup.

So if you could explain so that I'm not confused, as to what is the big change... in these countries that are side by side, and until very recently were the same country?

And there's more, the per-capita income of Bangladesh is very low, it is one of the poorest countries in the world....it has two times the poverty of the Philippines, yes dear reader, a [ fifty percent increase in poverty ] as compared to the Philippines.

Poverty stricken countries culturally speaking do not change much... why would they?  They are highly resistant to change, for obvious reasons, but (with this crowd)... it needs to be stated....

Education, lack of resources for travel, to see, and be exposed to new things. And at two thousand dollars per year per capita income, per year, per family. People are worried about putting food on the table, keeping a roof over their heads and clothes on their backs, not reading the latest pamphlet of how exciting the world's cultural events are. And there's literacy problems....

Bangladesh $2,000.00, 2012 est. Avg income earned per year.

Finally I've worked with Indians, both Muslim, and Hindu, and Nepalese who were mostly Hindu,  people from Sri Lanka, and some, though not as many from Bangladesh, and a few from Pakistan too, I've had teams of these folks, all mixed together working jobs for (years) in contract work. They had no problem communicating between each other, they ate the same foods* wore similar clothes, watched the same sports, and lived in the same structures. Other than some pigment differences, those from South India were on average darker skinned, but other than that, they were very hard to tell one from the other. Of course there's minor variations in languages, where in the world in a country of any size is there not minor variation in language. There certainly is in the Philippines, Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao, they speak a little different, USA absolutely, but I've noticed they have no trouble understanding each other. The "glitches" are minor and small.

The major overall telling piece of info here is, the similarities in these cultures far outnumber the differences. I'm sure if one takes a magnifying glass and shifts through them like individual grains of sand, there's differences, the question is.... Are there significant differences, such that the average observer from the "West" or "East" would be able to tell them apart. Having worked with and around them I've not seen such significant factors.

Food*, not all eat exactly the same, some won't eat pork, some won't eat beef, (all) eat chicken. Poor chickens they never get a break. But the rest etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, they (all) always ate at the Indian Bar. No alcohol, just food.


A Westerner's Point of View.  Maybe not exactly right, but we do think things through...

Bravo Francis!!!

In Chittagong, majority is muslim too, where as in that district alone you will find the mojority of the indigenous population, or the minorities you may call thm, mostly they dwell around the hill tracks and there are many different sects among them, many of them are buddhist, many are hindu, some among them are even chiristian,but buddhist number has to be the largest, now each tribe has their own dialect and sometimes people of those culture dont even understand bengali properly, but that is again when you are taking into consideration the people of the remotest regions. Other than that Chittagong is the port city, one of the two port of the country is situated there, it is the second most important city in Bangladesh and the industrial powerhouse of the nation, people have their very own dialect in that part, it is a beautiful city, eqipped with every facility you would ask from a modern city

i see mr. America you know about Bangladesh far more than a bangladeshi himself, i do not see which part of my post made u so mad that you had to refer to history and bringing up an argument that a country so new so small and so poor has to be jus the way you say it has to be, see that is the main point in my post it seems like you know everything not even being there. I will only tell you one thing,  AN UNEDUCATED PERSON DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE HAS NOT LEARNED, AND AN EDUCATED PERSON WOULD KNOW WHAT HE YET HAS TO LEARN, jus the way u have been matching us with that of the Indian culture and all had i done the same in branding you as european??? remember how america was formed???? what your forefathers had done in the new world a few hundred years ago, to take over the continent, then england branded you as terrorist for fighting for your independence???? U r an American, citizen of one of the most powerful nation on earth, dont look down on every one, like you have stated about the poverty and people cant change due to being poor, Mexico is right next door to you, so is Canada, you and i both know the differences, so just because countries are together and once they were under one rule during the british raaj, doesnot mean they have to be same. Ever heard of the Bengal?? yes it had its seperate kindgom and nawabs before your forefathers arrive to take control of the region's resources and exploit the poeple, you think you know about history, try looking into you own first, then come to degrade and brand others, my initial post was nothing to hurt any people's feelings but to bring in a particular matter to light so that the region was not to be looked at in the same way as another

Mr. Shahidzmn778,

After reading this post, I'm inclined to kindly refer you to the first rule of holes. If you are not familiar with this rule, you should google it and familiarize yourself with it.  As to my knowing more or less than a Bangladeshi, you were the one who decidedly pointed to what others can and cannot understand with regard to culture within a region.

My goal was not to construct an argument, my goal was to elucidate how being [culture bound*], dilutes one's ability to recognize and understand their surroundings, in short they view the world through a cultural lens of their own particular culture, and this makes it difficult for the (cultural viewer), to see beyond his / her own experiences.... It very much speaks to the idea of "not being able to see the forest for the trees" concept. Again I would recommend google for this phrase, it's another practical way of explaining a "universal convention".

culture-bound*
1. restricted in character or outlook by belonging or referring to a particular culture.

No, I don't know exactly how America was formed, I hear and have read lots of different ideas, stories and opinions.

As to Canada, and Mexico, no, I do not know what you are talking about there either. The analogy strikes me as someone trying to mix, or substitute horseshoes for pinballs, and pinballs for horseshoes, upon application, it's easy enough to see neither works well in place of the other.

As to a country being small, new, and poor, and (having to be) just the way I say it is... No, it's not that I am saying the country is a particular way, it's [history, geography, and economics,] that are saying the country is a particular way.


""I will only tell you *one* thing, AN UNEDUCATED PERSON DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE HAS NOT LEARNED, AND AN EDUCATED PERSON WOULD KNOW WHAT HE YET HAS TO LEARN,""

Actually this is *two* things isn't it?

This may strike you as trivial... but you need to understand I, we, people, out here have fairly sophisticated analytical reasoning and reading skills, a lot of us were trained in the West, we see things that may seemingly be unimportant, even of minute detail.... so when one then [ jumps ] to making blanket or sweeping statements, it quickly turns into one being able to explain the statements, and then backing them up.    OK...Moving on.

This young woman, is trying to make a very big important life defining decision, she came to this site seeking some clarity, about what could or what might be in store, happen, or (fate), for her if she steps off into another world, with a man that she has questions about.  She has stated that she is (very young) emotionally anyway, which is implied by her words of this being her first boyfriend.

If you read what you wrote, about "Westerner's" you dismissed (us) as being shallow, non-understanding, and speaking from a-far, not really capable of understanding Asian ways. Which if anyone is willing to read a little, and think a little, is plain "horse hockey" that's the part that falls out of the backside of a horse.

With regard to understanding, you seem to be the one struggling here, not me...

This girl, needs to listen and evaluate (all), she should especially listen to people who are well seasoned travelers, or other Filipinas living in the same enviroment. I sometimes play and "cutup" here, but I know the difference of when it's play, and when it can be deadly serious.

Example, at the beginning of my first post, I start the post with "beware", and I end the post with, if you are comfortable playing with cobras. There was nothing accidental about either...

This young woman is talking about stepping off into a culture where only a generation ago, men could literally burn up their wives. It was accepted behavior.... Maybe not endorsed by the country's President / Prime Minister, but it happened often enough that it was the topic of graduate students around the world.

And we did just go through a litany of well laid out explanations of why these countries change slowly...

I'm not a fool, and I'm not an alarmist, but I am a realist. Women have virtually no power in your country....This is the elephant in the room that no one here is talking about, there's a poster up above who basically said, I'm paraphrasing, "if the family don't like her she could be in big trouble". Well yes she certainly could be.

Muslim culture is extreme, I know this, you probably know this, and the world definitely knows this. Even if this man is not a Muslim he is immersed in the culture and can easily use it to his advantage. Muslims often have more than one wife... this too can be used to his advantage, even if he's not Muslim he can still use the prevailing culture, because, it's there. There is lots of things this girl needs to think about.

Love is an elixir, like alcohol, it changes one's perception of reality, in long lasting relationships, love always gets replaced with reality. Alcohol makes people do strange things so does love, especially where the love is novice or brand-new.  This man, could be a fine man, with the best of intentions, but if his intentions wane, he will have all the power in their relationship. Muslim men often marry (very) young girls, there's a reason for this, nothing in this world happens in a vacuum.

hi , i read your blog that you married to filipino ,, i also married ti filipino and i am indian too, i need some information from you ,,if you dont mind can i ask from you ???

waiting for your reply

what blog are you referring to ?the first post here was made 2 yrs ago

YES , PLEASE I NEED SOME INFORMATION

Hi sarthak05agarwal86,

Can you please tell us exactly how we can help you? What information do you need?

Thank you,

Hasnaa
Expat.com Team

P.S: It would be great if you could avoid posting with caps lock on the forum please so as to ease the reading.

Hi Sharina,

There is no legal restriction for any country where it comes to marriage.  There are only practices which are observed by different cultures.

Irregardless, where it comes to work-permits, residency permits and citizenship, visa extensions and more, I have a company which can guide you properly and legally.  The company is very professional and can assist you in the right way.

If anyone is having visa or residency permit issues for that matter, i suggest you contact a professional in the field.  If you feel that you are being over charged by brokers or that your work is not getting done, you can send me a private message and i would gladly put you on the right track.

With best regards
Sanjay

sanjay -did you happen to read the date the thread was started?

vijay.singh wrote:

Love is blind

But if he is from a conservative family then you had it so remember HASTE MAKE WASTE

Think it over & then take this step cause 7 months is nothing not enough

I am too married to a Filipino I am too an Indian but with the grace of god we have a lovely & wonderful life

I am not discouraging you it just that I have stayed will Filipinos for  almost 20 years so I know the way you live and your lifestyle

All the best for your future

Love is blind. wtf this is funny lol

[Moderated: send details in private pls]

vijay.singh wrote:

sookie31 wrote:

best advice of all don,t marry an indian women are not treated as equals but as servants to their male masters .

The Filipino men treat their filipina wives very well right,the men never beat their wives nor they cheat on them,Eighty percent filipina women marrying expat why? If the Filipino men are good

That's a very obstinate statistics and opinion you have there...and considering yourself married to a Filipina...and claiming to have all decency of life and love with her.
Do'nt see it the other way around, or you could have just insinuated that you have made a wrong choice! and why didn't you marry a fellow Indian?
If most of the Non-Filipino guys here are married to a Filipina, especially those for a second wife (after divorcing or separating from the first of course), it just goes to say, atleast, that Filipina's have the characters that you can live with atleast!

Joke of the day :
A Canadian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a diner when an American man, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Canadian ignored the American, who, nevertheless, started up a conversation.
The American snapped his gum and said, "You Canadian folk eat the whole bread?"
The Canadian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course."
The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Canada."
The American had a smirk on his face.
The Canadian listened in silence.
The American persisted. "D'ya eat jelly with the bread?"
Sighing, the Canadian replied, "Of course."
Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Canada."
Getting tired of the American, the Canadian finally responded:
The Canadian then asked, "Do you have sex in the States?"
The American smiled and said, "Why of course we do."
The Canadian leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
"We throw them away, of course."
Now it was the Canadian's turn to smile.
"We don't. In Canada, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States."
The American stoped smiling...