How to develop your social network in Tokyo

Ask yourself the right questions

How do you get started? Do you have to ask questions to look for friends? Actually, not really! These questions are for you. Having friends is the most natural thing in the world, but it can also be an ordeal. Thanks to social networks, we've never been so close, and at the same time, we've never felt so alone. How to make friends in the real world?

Assess your profile:

• Did you have many friends in your country? Have you kept in touch with them?
• Do you like to go out a lot? If so, where?
• Do you seek to build genuine friendships, or are you just content with acquaintances?
• Are you more of an introvert or extrovert? Are you shy or expansive?
• Are you more of a homely person?
• In what kind of places do you like to hang out?

Read also Do's and don'ts in Tokyo

Joining a student club in Tokyo

If you are in Tokyo (or elsewhere in Japan) and studying at a Japanese university, why not join a student club/circle? These saakuru (サークル/ circles) and kurabu (クラブ/ clubs) are created and managed by students. They offer many interesting activities like drawing, photography, history, chess, cooking, tourism, sports, and so on. In fact, there are clubs for almost everything, and you can even create your own. 

Student associations are certainly the best way to create, develop, and maintain your network in Tokyo. Just like you, Japanese people like to get involved in clubs to have fun and meet new people.

Read also Student life in Tokyo

Practicing an art or sports in Tokyo

Whether in sports, cultural clubs, or neighborhood associations, it is easier to make friends by gathering around a common interest or sharing a passion with others.

Moreover, joining these clubs will allow you to experience everyday life in Japan. By blending in with Japanese people, you increase your chances of making new acquaintances and even establishing real friendships. Visit your local city hall to find out about the list of clubs and associations in your area.

Read also Sports activities in Tokyo

Finding a friend in Tokyo via apps

Three primary kinds of apps enable you to make friends in Tokyo: matching apps, friend-making apps, and talk apps. Talk apps are not ideal for making friends whom you can meet and play with. If you want to make friends online, just like social networking sites, opt for the talk app. Matching apps and friend-making apps are the simplest ways to make friends whom you can meet and play with.

Some apps you can use are Tinder, Tantan, Dine (for Android and iOS, to look for a meal partner), tipsys (for women only), dottomachi (for women only).

Social media in Tokyo

LINE, Instagram, X (Twitter), and Facebook are among the popular SNSs used in Japan. There is a multitude of groups forming on social media that you can join and look for friends. 

Clubs and international bars in Tokyo 

If you are more of a night owl, explore Tokyo's nightlife. Visit nightclubs, clubs, and international bars. Bonjour Tokyo International Bar is the perfect example. It organizes many events like multilingual meetings, karaoke nights, video games, and more. If you're more of a dancing type, try WARP Shinjuku or WOMB.

Read also Adapting to the local culture in Tokyo

Extra tips for making friends in Tokyo 

Not surprisingly, speaking Japanese will allow you to interact better with the locals, so don't skip the language and take it seriously. 

Remember that Japanese people are just like you. Fear, apprehension, and curiosity don't come only from your end. Be open-minded and gradually step out of your comfort zone. Let yourself be picked up and guided. Go out and discover new activities in Tokyo.

Don't just stick with other expats. You will find many immigrant groups or expatriate groups in Japan, especially in Tokyo, but moving to Japan to speak every language except Japanese won't make any sense. 

Be patient. Making new friends takes time. You will sometimes have disappointments as a friend (the person doesn't contact you again, without giving a reason, for example). In any case, don't be insistent, and if you get ghosted, forget about it. Keep going and move on.  

Focus on hobbies. This is probably the easiest and most effective way to make friends in Tokyo. With common ground, it is easier to start conversing. Enjoy the moment without putting pressure on yourself. Relationships will develop over time.