Can I believe this lady?

Hi,
I was in Phnom Penh recently for holidays. I have a good running business in Europe. After 20 years of hard work I decided to slow things down a little. So I tough why not start up something in Cambodia (just to stay busy)and enjoy live in this beautiful country.

During my visit I've been introduced to a girl. After my return to Europe we stayed in contact by phone, mail and skype. One day she told me about her mother who was hospitalized and that according the doctor she should take her mother to a hospital in Hongkong. One night she tried to call me twice, and that was the last thing I heard of her. I can't get her on the phone and she doesn't respond to my mails. I don't know what to think about this. I often asked here to send a picture of her mother, she never did, just telling me you will meet during your next visit. I should mention that when we first met she told me that she might go to work in Korea.

Is it common that people go to Hongkong for medical care?
And what to think about this Korean thing?
I'm really confused.

Thanks for any reply,
John

I'm a little embarrassed for what I posted yesterday. Don't feel to igry about it ;) I'm fine now :shy.

I'm really confused myself.  The first place I would think of is Thailand for closest 'best' medicare. In either case tread carefully..

just from a common sense perspective it seems way too sketchy.

Yes, what I though.
Anyway, she called me from...Thailand. She was in a fancy Hotel, the Soho Hotel or something. The story was that they couldn't go to Hongkong for some reason, than went to Bangkok. At the hospital they couldn't help them and she's afraid her mom has only a few months to live... I'll be back in Phnom Penh in a few weeks and hopefully things will be cleared up.

yeah visas arent always easy as 1 2 3, but Bangkoks hospital care is decently up to par.. so Thailand would or should have been the first option.

anyways, unless you have some sort of long term relationship with the person then I wouldnt trust it.  Call my cynical but, I am Cambodian and I have seen every trick in the book almost every time I have visited.  Though there was this one guy I just saw in Thailand with 1 arm and no legs crawling with a cup (VERY REALISTIC! but wait, again its good to help but gauge the situation)

You basically just have to change your mindset, what I do when Im here

Yeah, I guess so.
I will find out when I'm back in Phnom Penh.
Thanks for your replies,
John

I don't know about Cambodia but in Egypt it's a very common scam for the young boys with their older european habibis to try the "family member in hospital" trick.

My advice is not to give money to ANYBODY.  Help them how you can but keep your wallet sealed.

just from a common sense perspective it seems way too sketchy.

I would agree with that!! ;)

Be extremely CAREFUL, its a very common scam !!

hi

i would have to agree with lee - i live in egypt and have heard every scam in the book - relatives needing hospital/treatment is very common - i hope for your sake this is not the case in cambodia but i doubt it

don't believe the hype xx

when will guys like you learn that these girl lie (in both meanings of the word) to make money.

Move on.

Thank you for the replies.

It seems that she wasn't lying. She took a loan from the bank and went to a hospital in Bangkok (she didn't ask me money for this).  Unfortunately they couldn't do much for her mom.

I'm invited to go to the village where she used to live and will meet her mother and sister.

Your replies made it very clear that one cannot be too careful. And with the differences in culture and all it's not always easy to see the truth. But right now it feels good. Time will tell.

Cheers,

Good luck with it John,

but PLEASE be careful

Lee

It seems it was a scam after all. I'm coming to Phnom Penh next week and... her phone-number doesn't exist anymore, no answers to mails. I feel stupid and sick about this.

Am so sorry to hear that.But dont feel stupid,you were only trying to be a good person.Shit happens sometimes.Cheers.

You weren't stupid John, you questioned it instead of blindly doing as she asked.

It's rife here in Egypt.

Lee

Thanks for the support. It helps me getting over this. But it hurts. We had such a good time, wonderful conversations. I still can't believe it.

That's what annoys me about these people - it's not any financial damage they may cause, it's the emotional destruction that they leave behind.

Lee

sorry to hear it was a scam -lee is right there are far worse scams in hurghada where women lose 1000's of english pounds and apts. etc - count yourself lucky that you did not take it at face value - hugs to you xx

Continuing story: today I have received an email and we called. She's been robbed. A motorcyclist came from behind and grabbed her handbag containing her phone. She was hurt and taken to the hospital.
She could not call me as she didn't remember my number.
Jezus....

John Birth :

Hi,
I was in Phnom Penh recently for holidays. I have a good running business in Europe. After 20 years of hard work I decided to slow things down a little. So I tough why not start up something in Cambodia (just to stay busy)and enjoy live in this beautiful country.

During my visit I've been introduced to a girl. After my return to Europe we stayed in contact by phone, mail and skype. One day she told me about her mother who was hospitalized and that according the doctor she should take her mother to a hospital in Hongkong. One night she tried to call me twice, and that was the last thing I heard of her. I can't get her on the phone and she doesn't respond to my mails. I don't know what to think about this. I often asked here to send a picture of her mother, she never did, just telling me you will meet during your next visit. I should mention that when we first met she told me that she might go to work in Korea.

Is it common that people go to Hongkong for medical care?
And what to think about this Korean thing?
I'm really confused.

Thanks for any reply,
John

Ha ha... Dont worry brother..

Here the people usually go to Vietnam or Thailand.

If very rich, then they go to Singapore, not hong kong.

So forget it n have a good life.

regds.

Wow this girl seems to have some REALLY bad luck, maybe she's related to me :S

but yeah sounds like you riding a personal roller coaster Mr. John Birth.  Good Luck on your Ride and hope you come to the end unscathed. :P

But I would still of course be cautious about everything until you feel extremely secure/comfortable with the situation.

John, I am Thai. My advice if I may: Stay away from her-- for your own good.

Run don't walk !!! :rolleyes::rolleyes:

You said you have to slow down a little, hey I guess we are given a good mind to think and its up to us to be more wiser. Unless otherwise you are more interested on other thing "deeper relationship with this woman". Enjoy your stay in Cambodia and to many interesting things to do while you are there..just look around and dont forget to say"hi" and "hello to some other woman too..Cheers!

I am not trying to be too exaggerate the issue but any culture, and nation always has its down-side. Moreover, there are those who are incapable in unfit to the changes around them...so the stay happy and see the bright side of life.

I have recently lived 2.5 years in Cambodia and seen a bit of this ... my advice is shrug and move on.

A good rule of thumb is "What would I think if she lived in Berlin, I barely knew her and I got this story?"

Once my Great Guru monk told me: Good heart (i.e., mercy) must come with good mind (or wisdom). Forgive and forget. Move on...and enjoy life.

Thank you Samrit ... yes, it is not about getting upset, people do what they do for many reasons, and many Khmae are in hard circumstances, it is best to move on and not contribute to building these situations by getting caught up in it.

Life is short. We are given it to enjoy and be useful also to others. Without good hearts around, the world would not have been like it is today. This is my own 'life philosophy', if i may call it.

Well said, Samrit.
It is sometimes very difficult to get it all together, to balance the ratio between naivety (heart) and common sense (mind & wisdom). But if we would only use what we think to be our common sense we would miss a great deal of what life has to offer.
Life experience is not helping much when emotions get involved, not for me anyway:). I'm very aware of my particular situation (thank you guys and girls for helping me on this) but I don't turn my back. I don't walk or run away. I just let things happening and "hope" (you can read "believe" if you like) for the best.

Hi John, I can assure that you have a good heart. But let us get over this and look to better tomorrow. Stay happy. Hope to bump into you in PPenh one of these days....take care.

Hi John, don't get too mad, it's quite common here for girls to try to be sponsored and be helped by the foreign boyfriend(s) via western union. Your girlfriend don't want to ask you money, but 100$ or 200$ could really help her out so she tells you a story, mother sick, robbery, any kind of drama that the real thing: she just needs money to buy cloths and food or pay the rent of her 50$ room without water or toilets she shares with two other girls.
You love (loved) her? Send her some money. Help her out. She's not going to buy the last IPhone, just trying to have a decent life. 100$ won't change your life, but it's a bottle of oxygen for the one you shared feelings with when you where here.

Cool advice from a warm heart and decent thoughts..Thumbs up Nikolos..

Following this thread with interest, so what happened John? Did you find out whether she was really in the hospital after her bag got grabbed? You're still in contact?

Good to know a variety of stories, and as far as making friends/relationships go, perhaps you can keep the issue of money a CLOSED topic and make that clear to all you meet that your wallet is your own, that way you can easily separate the genuine from the false? Kinda working for me.

I agree with Nikolos if you have a calculated mind and a warm heart-- and if you tolerate the pain that comes with it.....

yeah, your right Nikolos a small amount is not a lose, its a blessing that someone will ease their pain if u share it.

Im really enjoying reading this kind of stories its really true I guess thats why i m really enjoy. I m planning to go to there in PP hope I will see u guys their. tc

pinklizard : I don't know and I guess I will never know.
But I have learned a lot about her and about life in Cambodia. I will get back on this when I have more time.
Nikolos : I fully agree with you.

John, I hope you really know what you're letting yourself in for if you persue this girl. One question I have to ask is; Where did you meet her? please be careful. I had great problems with a girl after my first visit to cambodia. I met her and fell for her. All appeared good to me appart from her appearing to have unusual bad luck, i.e hospital, theft etc. After almost a year I found out about her other boyfriends! not good!

It was all very stereotypical, by this time we were living together in PP. Later came much heartbreak and soul searching. to cut a very long story short we have eventually come through it and are stronger than ever. Even now, I sometimes doubt her.

I love Cambodia and will be back in a few weeks but please let this be a warning to others, the girls are beautiful and caring but are desparate to make a better life for themselves and will sometimes stop at nothing to get it.

Having a partner from such a different culture can be very hard and it has been a long journey to get where I am now. Just so you know what you are getting yourself into.

Just so you know I'm young and well educated not an old barfly. I would reccomend, if in doubt forget it and get on with your life. Someone else will take up where you left off. I'm happy now but if I knew what was in store at the time I would have not got involved! You have been warned. All the best

no you can't

New topic