Getting to know the typical Vietnamese.

Welcome to Vietnam!
I'm a Vietnamese. Well,I think the Vietnamese is very simple. You don't need to worry about that. They're nice, friendly and like to talk with expat.

well, in terms of general cultural dimensions, you can talk about collectivism, like my mom, she knows exactly what happening next door or networking and relationship is every important in business and life. Or you can look at power distance here, very hierarchy between managers and employees; remember my school time, teachers were always right or in family children have to listen to parents...but you know, only when you involved in the situation, then you start realizing how cultural different is. But I believe it's not much different from Phillipines from what I have mentioned; only in some detailed/ specific situation

Hi Gpm,

A typical Vietnamese is friendly, passionate if you will, but that is only if you are able to communicate with him or her.  On the contrary, if you are unable to communicate, whether it is in English or Vietnamese or Chinese, he or she can be a handful.  A typical Vietnamese is rather proud; therefore, unlike a typical American, he or she is often not as patient.  He or she would brush you off much quicker.

Hope that helps.  And welcome to Vietnam.

Warm wishes,
Howie

In comparison with the West, a typical Vietnamese cares a lot more about family like many Asian to the point to be ready for personal sacrifices.

Many are living in some sort of contradictory mixture of collectivism and individualism. People tend, on one hand, to show respect for the group by identifying themselves with their family members or those sharing the same province of origin, but on the other, their behavior in public can be disappointing manifestation of individualism e.g. disregard for others' right of way in traffic, queuing or (lack of ) practice...

As individualists, they are not able to work well together as a group like the Japanese but they tend to be not individualist enough to stand up for themselves like the American and often succumb to group pressure for fear of retaliation or social ostracism.

There are some monolithic tendencies with less tolerance for new and unusual things, and diversity in general. Most Vietnamese are conservative in taste and hesitate to try new things such as unusual food or music. Many are rice-sick,e.g, when traveling overseas for even a short period. In terms of inter-racial relationship,it is more common for women than men to date and marry foreign persons (Some Vietnamese women find western men richer or treat them better or both). Vietnamese men, probably macho by tradition, tend to have more trouble than their female counterparts adjusting themselves to foreign women. As individuals, they tend to respect less others' rights to disagree especially if these others have weaker voices e.g. young vs. old, student vs teacher.

Many Vietnamese seem to be irrational in terms of time value.On one hand,they spend many working hours drinking beer or doing nothing, they often rush in traffic as if they were going to die tomorrow, on the other (even after earthquake, the Japanese did not show the rush expected in this kind of extreme situation). Going after quick buck at the detriment of civility (predatory behavior not only against foreigners but any other easy prey) seems to be another aspect of that irrationality.

In terms of regional differences, I tend to think the people in the South are capable of providing a better quality service than their Northern counterparts who are more aggressive and less service-oriented. Southerners are also believed to be more open and warmer, but probably more artificial, than Northerners who are more stoic due to the hardship of life they experienced a decade ago.

They are often hard working but tend not to aim for the top, meaning more easily happy with themselves than, for example, South Korean.

Vietnamese are proud they have strong national identity because they were never completed crashed under foreign occupying boots (they got them all: the Chinese, American, French, Japanese...) even when it took them one thousand years getting rid of them. 

Vietnamese are crazy soccer fans even though the national team would take decades to qualify for the World Cup. The skeptical can check the street out the night when Vietnam has a regional win.

They are proud that their mathematics minds are among the best of the world with Ngo Bao Chau recently winning the mathematics equivalent of Nobel prize.

Hello all,

Dav_Mizzou hit it right on the nose.  My hat goes off to you, Dav?  You seem and sound like a Tiger, are you not?

Anyhow, allow me to add these:

1) Vietnamese men are much more conservative than Vietnamese women.  That is primarily because he is, or will eventually have to be, the head of the household.  And, in a society that is men-oriented, his mistake can have long-lasting consequences.  Sexually equality has improved; however, but it is nowhere near what we see in the west.  So, the Vietnamese men will remain that way for awhile.

2) The rush to go do nothing comes from a life long-lived in social, economic and political instabilities.  Until a person is home or surrounded by friends, he/she is not yet secure; his/or guards will be up.  When engaged in a relationship with "outsiders," Vietnameses rarely think long term.  Their life experiences had long taught them that things can change rather quickly. 

3)  The easiest Vietnamese to get to know, if you are just starting out, is the south Vietnamese.  He/she is not as hard-cord as those from the central or north Vietnam.  He/she is not as involved with the war; and his/her life, thanks to geography (the Mekong Delta), has been easier.

I was borned a south Vietnamese, with family roots in central Vietnam (great-grand-parents).  Whenever I come into contact with my relatives from central Vietnam, I still have to pick and choose my words...  It is crazy because I had virtually grown up in the US, yet such protocols are still being applied to me.

Again, I hope that helps.

Best wishes,
Howie

Gpm2011 wrote:

Been here in Vietnam for nearly 8 months but i don't have any idea what a typical Vietnamese is. Anybody wants to share with me some inputs. Thanks.

gpm2011 you say your here 8 months where the hell have you been all this time????? prison???? you need to socialize mate go and drink beer on the street and see for your self exactly whats what and whats not

Typical Vietnamese? There are everywhere in Vietnam....

hey, thanks for sharing many interesting about "typical Vietnamese" . I wonder how an American - Dav_Mizzow have so many things to say about Vietnamese?! is it your research? or you have Vietnamese wife? living many years in Vietnam? yeah, obviously at least one of them.
I believe that each foreigner has their own experiences of "typical Vietnamese" they have met. I mean it depends on what kind of people you (foreigner) are, what you are doing here in Vietnam? studying? working? or trying to find a girl, or just travelling? what place you usually go to? what kind of character u are?. I have seen some foreigners driving "crazily" on street without helmet, and scream to the others in traffic jam: "people, come one, moee, move, why you'r so stupid". Oops, may he think nobody can understand what he says?! I think "typical" should be understood as "traditional" or "primary". Such things Doov says seem from young/modern Vietnamese living in some big cities, not for typical. And please do not compare with Japanese or Western or American since it 's nonsense and it's not fair.

To Wild: please don't mention about sexual equality here. Sexual equality hasn't been improved yet and never will be improved here.

Most of  women at my age, 1987, want to move out of this country. As we've been living here, we have witnessed our mom, aunt, female uncles, and our female friends, they all work like dogs and serve the whole husband in law's family. What they get is insults and underestimation from their husband in law.


One additional thing is Vietnamese people always say in one way but act the oppposite. They are being nice and friendly on the outside. If you make friend with someone, my advice is " actions speak louder than words"

As the experience I collected from my foreign friends, Vietnamese men always drag their foreign buddies into having "outside relationships". Vietnamese men ask their buddies to go drinking, make love with girls at bar and at the massage room.

Please Do no trust what the newspapers said about Vietnam. They all say blah blah blah good about Vietnamese people. There is nothing called " tradition preservation " here. That's just a mask people are wearing to fool the world.

There's an old story from many years ago about equality for women here in Vietnam.

“An Advisor had just returned to Vietnam on his third tour. He noticed something strange had changed. In the past the women would always walk behind the man when they were returning from or going to the field with the family water buffalo. Now the men were following the wife. One afternoon he stopped and asked one of the farmers what had changed, were they now treating there wives as equals?. The man had two words ”Land Mines”.

Things haven't changed much since then either have they.

TuongVy_cat wrote:

As the experience I collected from my foreign friends, Vietnamese men always drag their foreign buddies into having "outside relationships". Vietnamese men ask their buddies to go drinking, make love with girls at bar and at the massage room.

Please Do no trust what the newspapers said about Vietnam. They all say blah blah blah good about Vietnamese people. There is nothing called " tradition preservation " here. That's just a mask people are wearing to fool the world.

Truong cat u never said where ur from.
Foreign men have outside relationships, foreign men go to go go bars foreign men drink beer on the streets... get with the times my friend, men make there own desicions and for you to try blame a vietnamse man for bringing forien
1 golden rule i will tell u is, dont believe everything u here..........

To prettyboy01: My foreign friends don't like to be dragged into doing those stuffs. That's why they said to me that Vietnamese men are doing boring things every day. Girls and drinking beer and nothing else...
So I laugh at those you guys written about Vietnamese people above.
As a local Vietnamese, I advise you guys to experience from real people real stories, not just reading articles from the internet.

Vietnamese people either men or women are getting similar to their western counterparts. The rate of inflation and the foreign debt keep going up and the morality is going down. Someday, you guys will experience " universal culture". There will be almost no differences about the culture living between Vietnamese and their western friends.

Just found an interesting article on Vietnamese men (and women), viewed by an American. Although not a typical one but still Vietnamese.


Vietnamese-American women place strict rules on men returning to homeland
http://www.mercurynews.com/business/ci_19275809

Dear Wild_1,
Thanks for your comments. Yes, tiger is my mascot.

To others, I'm a simple Vietnamese guy with some western education. Just doing some self-reflection/soul-searching. Neither complain nor self-praise.

If you sit and wait for something to happen, it rarely will.  You have to make it happen.  You must go to meet the Vietnamese people.  A smile or a nod of the head will often help.  Make a fuss of their children, they love their kids and equally enjoy people paying attention to them.
There are always plenty of students wanting to improve their English.  I can sit in a park and students will often approach me for this purpose.  Remember, this is their country, if they want it changing they will do what is necessary.  The Vietnamese in my experience, are friendly, respectful and proud people, who welcome enqiries from outsiders who are truly interested in their country and culture.  Do not look down on them, as I see many foreigners do.  Give respect and earn respect.
I think everyone's experience will differ,so do not stereotype an expected lifestyle.  Go out, join in, make your own experiences and memories.  Enjoy.

Vietnamese are little different from any other culture in diversity of character.

There are a few things that I find stand out.

They steal, yet they are honest. An example. I had a girl take myself and a friend to Thu Thiem, when 'squatters' were just moving in. A boy, ahead of us, dropped some money and our guide ran over and picked the money up BUT kept on running and gave it to the boy.

Snatch theft and pick-pocketing are getting worse in HCMC, already bad in Hue and pick-pocketing the worst in Ha Noi.

I over paid, the cashier recognised I over paid, but returned the extraa VND500,000 note.

They are dirty, yet they are clean. How often have you seen a VN picking their nose, drilling into their ears or scratching their hair only to serve you food or put their fingers in a cup or bowl prior to serving you?

A survey, taken some two years ago, found that 93% of food servers never washed their hands after attending to toilet needs. Most don't use toilet paper, they use a bucket and scoop as a bidet.

YET my neighbours change their children's clothes every day AND give them fresh sleeping clothes at night! My wife is no different, it costs me a fortune in water and soap for her and our daughter's laundry.

VN are more family oriented. I disagree. A survey. last year, revealed that 46% of married men had sex with prostitutes without condoms. And VN has HIV like Cambodia and Thailand!

Divorce is the rage; infidelity common. Age groups don't change the frequency. Wife and child abuse very common.

VN are hard working. Some are, many aren't. Look at those bums who sleep all day on their motorcycles. Guarantee there's a wife working her buns off keeping clothes on her children's backs and food in their mouths. Woman are the majority of bread winners.

When you get a hard working man, they are industrious, work every day, give employers good value for their pay.

I have friend who leaves for work at 10.00H EVERY DAY and returns at 01.00H - because she needs money to educate her 12-year-old son. Her husband died.

But there are undisputed facts and questions:
- Why do Vietnamese overtake you only to take a sharp right, cutting you off?

- Why do Vietnamese cross streets against the light?

- Why can't Vietnamese wait in a line up/cue?

- Why do Vietnamese ignore red lights?

- Why do Vietnamese walk on roadways and not sidewalks?

- Why do Vietnamese insist on parking against buildings rather than the kerb sides of sidewalks?

- Why do taxi's think signalling gives them right of way?

- Why do Vietnamese drive the wrong way?

- Why do Vietnamese, when turning, never get in position in a lane and instead cut other drivers off as the cut across?

- Why don't Vietnamese like driving over manhole covers, even in dry weather?

- Why don't they yield to pedestrians crossing a road?

- Vietnamese have no concept of road safety!

- Vietnamese are the most skilled, bad drivers world wide!

- Why can't Vietnamese do anything perfectly (look at the new East-West Highway)!

- Why can't the city stop these illegal sidewalk parking rackets?

- Why can't city (Blue Tag) cars comply with traffic rules?

- Why do security guards think they can tell you where to park on city property? HSBC building, Diamond Plaza, etc.

- Why do VN drivers park ON THE CORNER of intersections?

Jaitch. At the end of your post you list a whole bunch of 'why's'.  Each 'why' is completed with a '?' which suggests you require answers.
    I suppose the overall answer, as I see it, is this.
    'This is Viet Nam, these are Vietnamese people.  The people of Viet Nam have chosen to live this way and we should respect their choice. To even think, that our way of life is superior and would be more suited to the people of Viet Nam is, in my opinion, nothing short of  arrogance'. Jack

Jack
I don't think it is arrogant to pose those questions. They are facts and bad practices/habits.
Why do they exist? Well, like they say about the man who has cheated: 'He does that because he can'.

Truth to be told, this kind of practices exist in other Asian countries like Thailand, although in much less extent. My American friends fret about being cut off at the queue at the 7-Eleven in Bangkok.

The Vietnamese, living in Europe and the States certainly don't do those things.

Just a few thoughts.

I'm usually not this nosy when it comes to "sensitive" topics like this, though I've certainly had my fair share of frustrations in my 13 months and 3 weeks here.

In my humble opinion, I reckon the views from well-travelled individuals are often more accurate compared to folks who have only lived in his / her own country ....

JACK:
I never claimed superiority for any one, that is your interpretation.

The national government is concerned about the annual road toll. The numbers of approximately 12,000 killed annually is inaccurate since it doesn't include people who die after release from hospital.

HCMC Peoples Committee is proposing a city wide traffic control system. IMO until they get drivers to conform to the VN laws, they haven't a hope in hell of getting traffic to improve.

The average kill rate in HCMC is 3 per day, a rate that Vietnamese find hard to accept and Foreign experts have voiced their concern with.

As a 'guest' in VN I am generally amenable to conditions but as a VN taxpayer I pay to get what I am entitled to, which is fair.

Many citizens don't choose to live this way, which is why I hear VN raising these questions.

If I have offended anyone with my comments, I apologise
I will accept my knowledge of VN is only limited, although I have visited this country annually and sometimes bi-annually, since 2004.  The reason for my returning is simply that I love the people and the relatively free and easy life-style, (As perceived by me).
Here, and I should add, I am in VN now, I do not see, traffic enforcement officers, parking attendants, speed cameras, wheel clampers, restricted parking areas, health and safety officers armed with reams of rules and regulations.  I do not see parents fearful of taking photo's of their children in a play area, concerned they may labelled as a poedophile and the camera confiscated. I do not see suspicion in parents eyes when you admire their kids.
I do recognise their apparant non-recognition of danger, the lack of patience, for example, queue jumping.
In short I see many things that to my eye and mind, add to the charm of the country and its people.
What I was not aware of is the carnage on the roads, nor was I aware that most VN people would not wish to carry on in this way.
What does concern me, is the apparant need for people to want to change the infrastructure and culture of countries such as VN, because certain people think their way of life has more to offer.I have seen ex-pats treating the locals as though they were slaves or something distasteful you might tread in.
Perhaps I see things through rose coloured glasses but this is my choice and I again apologise if I have caused offence
As a footnote, in 2000 my ex-wife visited VN and in a short time she mastered the technique of crossing a busy road. Feeling pleased with herself she attempted the same on her return to the U K and nearly got herself killed.

Now, its a modern life...so there are various life styles...not so sure what typical will you focus to...I think you should social with local people first

Dav_Mizzou wrote:

Your sharing is very sufficient. How long did you stay in VN?

Jaitch wrote:

Vietnamese are little different from any other culture in diversity of character.

There are a few things that I find stand out.

They steal, yet they are honest. An example. I had a girl take myself and a friend to Thu Thiem, when 'squatters' were just moving in. A boy, ahead of us, dropped some money and our guide ran over and picked the money up BUT kept on running and gave it to the boy.

Snatch theft and pick-pocketing are getting worse in HCMC, already bad in Hue and pick-pocketing the worst in Ha Noi.

I over paid, the cashier recognised I over paid, but returned the extraa VND500,000 note.

They are dirty, yet they are clean. How often have you seen a VN picking their nose, drilling into their ears or scratching their hair only to serve you food or put their fingers in a cup or bowl prior to serving you?

A survey, taken some two years ago, found that 93% of food servers never washed their hands after attending to toilet needs. Most don't use toilet paper, they use a bucket and scoop as a bidet.

YET my neighbours change their children's clothes every day AND give them fresh sleeping clothes at night! My wife is no different, it costs me a fortune in water and soap for her and our daughter's laundry.

VN are more family oriented. I disagree. A survey. last year, revealed that 46% of married men had sex with prostitutes without condoms. And VN has HIV like Cambodia and Thailand!

Divorce is the rage; infidelity common. Age groups don't change the frequency. Wife and child abuse very common.

VN are hard working. Some are, many aren't. Look at those bums who sleep all day on their motorcycles. Guarantee there's a wife working her buns off keeping clothes on her children's backs and food in their mouths. Woman are the majority of bread winners.

When you get a hard working man, they are industrious, work every day, give employers good value for their pay.

I have friend who leaves for work at 10.00H EVERY DAY and returns at 01.00H - because she needs money to educate her 12-year-old son. Her husband died.

But there are undisputed facts and questions:
- Why do Vietnamese overtake you only to take a sharp right, cutting you off?

- Why do Vietnamese cross streets against the light?

- Why can't Vietnamese wait in a line up/cue?

- Why do Vietnamese ignore red lights?

- Why do Vietnamese walk on roadways and not sidewalks?

- Why do Vietnamese insist on parking against buildings rather than the kerb sides of sidewalks?

- Why do taxi's think signalling gives them right of way?

- Why do Vietnamese drive the wrong way?

- Why do Vietnamese, when turning, never get in position in a lane and instead cut other drivers off as the cut across?

- Why don't Vietnamese like driving over manhole covers, even in dry weather?

- Why don't they yield to pedestrians crossing a road?

- Vietnamese have no concept of road safety!

- Vietnamese are the most skilled, bad drivers world wide!

- Why can't Vietnamese do anything perfectly (look at the new East-West Highway)!

- Why can't the city stop these illegal sidewalk parking rackets?

- Why can't city (Blue Tag) cars comply with traffic rules?

- Why do security guards think they can tell you where to park on city property? HSBC building, Diamond Plaza, etc.

- Why do VN drivers park ON THE CORNER of intersections?

I wonder also why some foreigners staying in vietnam have the same bad attitudes as  vietnamese, They ride scooters on the sidewalk, pass the red trafic light, throw garbage anywhere.....

Well, there are students on a shoestring budget. Very resourceful. Very frugal. Hard working and very driven people!

Then I've met a few single girls in their 20s. Full-time but lowly paid jobs (5 M). Must be tough on that salary.

Like the children and found families to be very generous hosts. Bringing lots of food to the table.

Many people who don't speak a word of English often wave or say something friendly when they saw me, a foreigner, in their small town or village.

I think this topic is outdated and need to be closed.
As a person, we do not need to judge others.
Just respect and tolerate the difference.
I believe you will live well.
That will be all folks...