Getting married to a Dominican girl

Siempre Tomas!

By the way, if people wanted to use.their real names they would Catsam......

For your info did say to marry me but did I say when???

really happy for you Tomas --and you too look great together --Wish that some day I could be as well

I find it funny how you men act completely surprised when you find out that these "little girls" you have found DO NOT LOVE YOU....come on really? You complain that the women back home wherever that may be are different , that they do not treat you like kings etc...I call bulls***, you are just making up an excuse to justify your actions. in my opinion you knew what your getting into...[Moderated]

do not get me wrong one can find love but consider the source!

Ahhh Theresa you call it like you see it. Gotta like it.

A lot of these older guy I see around with the 18-22 year old "child" have a major screw loose and usually have an absolutely ZERO chance of a relationship back home and even less of a chance of getting la*d. So when a beautiful young thing pays attentions to them....the little head takes over and gets them into big time trouble.

A month later they are exhausted from the sex and realize that they are in an empty relationship as well as have a pretty empty wallet by then.

Bob K

And somehow they delude themselves into believing it is "real".

Hello everyone.  This is my first posting to this site.  I've read all 7 pages of the posts and have to say that I agree with the premiere message that's being shared .... "Be Careful".  But I wanted to offer a different perspective.  I assume that for the most part people that are in a happy and harmonious relationship are not the ones seeking information from these types of blogs.  Again.... for the most part ... cudos to you Thomas.  If that is accurate, the sentiment of the majority of the posts is one of unsuccessful attempts at a relationship in the D.R., and much helpful advise on being cautious.

I'm a 51 year old American married to a 29 year old Dominican woman.  We met 4 years ago while I was on vacation and she was working at a restaurant in Bavaro.  I'm a nice looking man, but she is an absolute natural beauty, and 22 years my junior.  Becuase of this I realized that I had to put things into perspective quickly before I let myself get too involved.  My logic was that she seemed to be very honest, (that evaluation was not worth much at that point), and she made me feel very good.  I've had pleanty of women in my life over the years, so it's not as if I was smitten by newfound attention.  So I persued a relatioship with her.  We called and texted constatnly and I visited the island every chance I had.  I would buy her, (and her family of course), small gifts as well as give her small amounts of money.  I did not want her to be with me for materialistic reasons.  Yet I realized that if she was dishonest, the brass ring would be coming to the U.S.  I gave myself a one-year timeline to decide what I wanted to do.  I know that is not very romantic, but given this unconventional situation, I needed this self-imposition.  We had a wonderful 1 year courtship.  We did have a couple of small arguements, nothing out of the normal for a couple.  This actually made me feel good knowing that she wasn't purely catering to me.  But thankfully over the year I saw no red flags.  So, three years ago we got married, and we have been together in the U.S. for 2.5 years.  She has a life here that she could only dream of in D.R.  And I have a more beautiful, caring, devoted wife than I ever imagined.  Agian, unconventional thinking, but at least I'm seeing reality.

I hope that people seeking out relationships in the D.R. will heed the wonderful advise that has been offered by many throughout this thread.  But also know, there are good people to be found on this wonderful island.  But you have to be the gatekeeper of your heart and wallet.  In matters of love it's not easy to stay grounded.  But take a deep breath and have faith in yourself.

Good luck to all ... and God Bless!

Let the little head beware!
jajajajaja
Good advice from all.

Cudos to you as well Donlobo!
We both seem to have gotten very lucky here in the DR!
Against the odds, apparently.
Maybe we think with that great pump between the  heads as well.
Have a great life!

donlobo welcome to the forum.  There are some very good folks here with lots of information.

Your story is very heartwarming and very rare.  But and a big But you did it the right way. You were slow and calculating and it paid off handsomely.  Unlike most here who just fall head over heals with a beautiful young lady when on vacation and before you know it they are in way over their heads, you did it right.

You and Tomas are a rare breed and my hat is off to you both. Job well done....

Bob K

Well, thanks Bob!
We did have a long courtship, which is important!
Infatuation is rampant on this island paradise.
Been there dozens of times.

How about you?
Or did you bring your wife with you?

I was lucky enough to meet my sweetheart when she bought the house across the street from me when living in Colorado 20 years ago.

BobK

Welcome Donlobo!  Great story, thanks for sharing. I think Bob hit the nail on the head - you took your time.

People if it is real then it will wait. No need to rush. If you think it might run away so you need to lock it down - well then you need to start running.

I will repeat - there are great men and women in this country!  As a rule - you won't meet them on vacation, in hotels or in sex tourism areas.

To meet great people live here like a normal person, get to know the culture, then you will find the good ones.

Good for you Bob!
I was just being a nosy Canuck!
Have a great day!

I just really want people to stay inspired.  But with that inspiration comes responsibility... to yourself.  If you're not willing or able to keep things in perspective you might well pay the price, (literally and figuratively).  But if you stay focused there are so many wonderful people and experiences available in the D.R.

Let's take romance out of the picture for a second.  Just the simplest of things have brought me so much pleasure.  For example, playing dominoes with locals in the park, getting a haircut and joking with the men in the barber shop, buying a pincho or helado for little children, or having a cold Presidente at the local car wash.  For the most part the people have been really great and they seem to appreicate that you respectfully want to experience their culture.

I'd like to echo what Planner suggested.  Get to know the people and the culture.  I think the rest will follow.  Believe me, you don't have to seek the girls out.  They know who the new face is and what he represents. But by taking your time you really provide yourself with an opportunity to decide which one might be your best match.

Great post! There is so much here to experience and to love!!! Respect - they are much more likely to respect you if you respect their country, people and culture!

DonLobo, right on!
You are the kind of tourista the Dominican needs!
Enough of these all in resorts, 200 or so are way more than enough!

well --ok after some harsh comments I have cut ties and done with her -I told her that  I just did not see a realistic life between us and it would be best for the both of us to end it ---Her response ?? ---can't tell you because crazy as it seems she was hurting and it made me feel really bad --ok so I ended a possible relationship that I will never know if it was a devil or an angel -you people seem to know what is best for me --Thanks for the advises and I am not going to reverse to what I just did -

Ok now that is done you should  sit back and re evaluate what it is you want, and how to go about it. Don't spend your life "looking for love in all the wrong places".
Take it slow and good things will happen.  Turn on the big head and give the little guy a rest.

Bob K

It is hard now and things will get better!  Get on with living, learn from this and don't look back, move forward.

All the best to you, keep us posted.

Hi Planner some news about El Carey. Here is the link, but it is in Spanish ;-/ Sorry http://detrasdelrumor.com/index.php/201 … -costambar

Thanks Massagewhiz!  It is an interesting case to watch,more so for me as i call them friends.  They are pretty much the only place on Costambar beach complying with all the laws, so there is definitely something going on!  I will be there on Sunday evening, if anyone wants to come have a drink or a meal! OF course there will be some dancing going on too.

she is still sending text messages that she loves and so on and so on --and that I urt her and broke her heart and so on and so on --I have never responded to her text --I guess my next step is to change my number

Change your number, change your address, change your zip code. Just ignore her. Like most irritants she will go away.

Bob K

Good advice Bob!

I Amin a relationship

Welcome Joe, tell us more about you and your relationship!  We love to hear stories of success and we strive to help when it is needed!

I have fallen for a young girl who worked at a resort and seems to be common with the stories I hear but I believe she loves me but wonder if it's true for sure or if there was a test I could do yes I'm also helping her family I feel like I may be taken  now because I've hurt the family I had in Canada,but still want to move to Dominican,this Winter.i bought a house and have put the house in both our names as she requested.she wants a child with me.she actually might be.i really get along with her,but I wonder if I am being played. I am looking on making a big move this winter and opening a business there I love the simplicity but worry about being taken

Welcome to the forum Joe. You will find great advice here. In order to help you out a bit, we will need more info like:  The age difference between you, how long have you been with her, and how often to you get to see her, have you lived with her for some time or has it been just vacation time spent with her here or there? You mentioned you were helping her family, in what way are you helping? You also said you hurt a famlly, what did you mean by that? Does she have kids already? The fact that she wants kids with you if she has only known you for a short while sounds like a red flag to me! In the U.S. We call those anchor babies! That is a guaranteed check for the next 18 years. Best to get a DNA test right after the birth, just in case. As far as opening a business,

        Planner and Bob will advice you on the loops you must jump through to accomplish that.  My advice for now is take it slow and see where it goes. The fact that you put the house in both your names without being married is a bit worrisome :-( the laws in D.R. tend to favor Dominicans more than outsiders, you might want to get some legal advice regarding that little move just in case the future does not pan out for both of you. Hope to hear more about your story.

Yes, tell us more!!!

Well Joe! Really, are you in love or lust?
Fair question chum, for us & you as well.
The fact the house is in both names is a good thing.
If she is playing you, you can force the sale & get half.
We all need a bit more info as well.
Everyone here seems to be honest in giving
real advice, as well as true.

Joe  I answered your other post.  I did not realize that you already bought the house so with it already in both names be prepared to lose at least 1/2 your investment as well as more that 1/2 your other assets if this child is actually yours.

You are being played.  Do insist on a DNA test when the baby is born.  A very realistic chance it is not yours. It may be too late for  you ....but GO SLOW or you are going to set yourself up for a world of hurt.   We have seen this play out hundreds of times this way.

The relationships that work here between a gringo and a Dominican are built upon SLOWLY and over a period of time. The I visited the DR and have fallen for a hotel, hooker who wants out but is forced into her situation, tourist worker etc. relationships will fail 99% of the time

Bob K

Go slow is the magic phrase and should be listened to.

Don't let anyone or anything rush you.

Think and ask yourself - would I act this way if I was in Canada or USA or wherever?

Does it seem TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE?

Does this bring joy to my life WITHOUT drama?

Has Jim or nick been with any female workers at grand paradise when in operations?how about Riu palace?starting with L?text me at 204-997-7129 thanks Roger

I'm a little shy and embarrassed to talk but I read the post and I appreciate the replies so I'm trying to say more and more at every post but thank you all

Hey bob
There must be ways to find out the truth easier I probably even do a private investigator but I've called and they want so much money !when I talk to her or see her, I believe she seems innocent and naïve ,but then I get totally surprised with the things she knows.the age difference doesn't feel real but is 25 yrs difference .she says she has not seen anyone else in the hotel she stopped working at for me,but I agreed to replace the income.i can not live without talking to her every hour or two.it is a year now.i visited 6 times 4-7 days.

You are very welcome. Rule of thumb is she worked at a hotel  - then you were a target!