Getting married to a Dominican girl

[Moderated]

I have not found many sincere men or women in this country when it comes to dating/marrying. Women want an easy life, the easier the better, and men want out of here, so they go after any foreigner wanting company who will get them a visa, or at least help support the family.
Maybe it's the laid back attitude so typical of the islands which makes them want their partner to bring in the money.
And, the line I hear all the time is "oh,no! This one is different..."

olddude158

Wow how did this end up in the getting married thread????

Anyway a car must be between2 and 5 years of age and you must have owned it for 2 years.

The cost is very high to import a car and plan on spending about 30%-50% of the kelly blue book (www.kbb.com) value of the car in shipping costs, fees, taxes, and lic plates.

Bobb K

Hello!

Could you please concentrate on the initial topic which is getting married to a Dominican girl!

Or you may create a another discussion on the forum.

Thank you,
Harmonie.

well i`m not going to defend them but just look at the reality here,put you in their shoes would you do the same?just a question of survival and they would react to you the same way you did to them so i think we should have a little bit of open mind and comprehensive .

You are allowed ONE car in your container for your exoneration shipment (no or vastly reduced taxes) with your residency.
The car has to be at least two years old and less then 5 years old and you have to have owned it for two years

Bob K

Hello all,
what if the tables were turned and it was the woman who feel in love with the Dominican man!!!

krummy73 wrote:

Hello all,
what if the tables were turned and it was the woman who feel in love with the Dominican man!!!

It is pretty much the same,  they  see  foreign women  very much as  walking ATM  machines. If you are moving here for  a MAN then you need to read everything you can  to learn about what you are gertting yourself into and how to protect yourself.

I  have been here  8 years and have seen  more then  I care to say.

Please don't tell me you are moving to PP because you "met the man of your dreams" on vacation this year.  If this is the case then be VERY, VERY, VERY  careful and read all about sankies on the dr1.com forum.

Bob K

I have learned much over the years I have been traveling there. I also know it is hard for the ladies find the righ man. They can be very charming at first. Even the girls I have not met yet, have asked me for money and gifts. I will be in Santo Domingo in two week. Two days ago a girl actually asked me to bring her a new cell phone. I explained that she was not my girlfriend and I cannot go around buying people expensive gifts. In return she called me a cheapskate...lol and said she did not want to continue talking to me. I was more than happy to know that. Fortunatly there is one girl I have been talking to for several months. She has her own business and has never asked me for a cent. When I get there I will be more than happy to meet her and do a little wining and dinning. She might not understand, but I will show my appreciation for her just being a friend and not another girl looking for a sugar daddy. Although I have experianced several women with there eyes in my pockets, I will continue to love the friendly loving people of the DR. My good experiances highly out weighed the bad ones.

BOB K:  What is a sankies?

Men who want out of here, so they go after any foreigner wanting company who will get them a visa, or at least help support their family.
Maybe it's the laid back attitude so typical of the islands which makes them want their partner to bring in the money.

Thanks for the advice.. I will continue to visit the DR and just have fun..

zzbull, they are men or women most often hotel workers who prey on touists and offer "services", profess love, and take your money.  Usually looking for a ticket out of the DR or at least for you to send them money every month. I have seen men and women go to the wester union to collect monies from thier multiple true loves 2-3 times a day.  Most often it is a young guy with a much older tourist female or a young chica with a much older male touist.

Krummy sounds like a plan

BObK

The word sankies refers to MEN, not women who are called "cueros", and are more blatant in their approach. I happen to be writing a book on the subject to enlighten naive tourists, so I have done quite a bit of research on the subject. I lived in Bavaro for 9 mths., the mecca capital for sankies, and never once heard this in reference to women. I have spoken to many Dominicanos all over the island about this and it is pretty embarassing for the great majority of working folks. Maybe Bob lumps them all in the same bag, but you asked for a definition.BTW, it really started with Porfirio Rubirosa, who set the example, if you want to look him up!

I did lump them all to gether and we some times call the  women skankettes.
I am not referring to the "working girls" who are available for a night or week or whatever, but the ones who are looking to "hook" a unseuspecting guy with "i love you" etc and the checks start rolling in (from many "loves). They also like the guys are looking for a way out.

Bob k

hello everyone, i will be in the DR next week, im staying for 6 months, cant wait, see you on the beach, vince monero

Bob K wrote:

I did lump them all to gether and we some times call the  women skankettes.
I am not referring to the "working girls" who are available for a night or week or whatever, but the ones who are looking to "hook" a unseuspecting guy with "i love you" etc and the checks start rolling in (from many "loves). They also like the guys are looking for a way out.

Bob k

I  agree with  Bob,  I have over  8 years here and  there are female versions of sankies -  sankiettes.   Clearly they are not  prostitutes and do the  same crap that the men  do. 

Hey  VINCE  - what part of the country are you coming to???

You know I am  just a believer that you get married for love.  Not for convenience.  Not because you don't want to be alone or whatever. 

You make this sound like a business arrangement so  my advice - cause you asked for advice -  don't get married at all.

Bob K wrote:

Boy I hope you have done your research on marrying a Dominicn girl and all the ramafications of doing so. Like you wlll become responsible for her whole family for support.
As to working yes you can work here and to do so legaly you will need your cedula (identification card) and should get your residency at the samet time.  Do know that pay is  very low here for most jobs.
AS for rights you won't have many.

Bob K

If i marry a dominican woman will i be legally bond to support her and her family? Are the marriage and divorce laws the same as US?

I don't know the legalities but YES you will end up supporting her family, and you will be amazed on how big a family she has!
As to the divorice laws consult an attorney here, but she will end up with your shirt and probably your pants as well.

Bob K

hello, just an update, i spent the winter in san juan de la maguana and i had a wonderful time, the people there are very friendly and warm and treated me very very well, i always found something to do and the weather was spectacular, im used to very cold winters in northern ontario so i couldnt have asked for more. the cost of living is very inexpensive, my rent is $250 per month and food is cheap. i cant wait to go back and in a few years i will be living there full time. thanks again to all that replied to my earlier posts and things have worked out very good for my girlfriend and i, she has turned out to be a fantastic person and is my best friend in the world, she is currently in university and wants to be a school teacher. i am very happy and lovin life dominican style.

Glad to hear that things are working out and that you are taking it slow.

Bob K

I have been living in the Dominican Republic for a year; and when I first came I thought that it was necessary to have a serious relationship with a Dominicana.  I had a girlfriend with 4 children and I helped her a lot financially even trying to help her set up her own beauty salon in her house.  With 4 children, working, and going to school, there was not much time left for me and I found myself alone waiting for her most of the time.  I decided that it was not worth having an absentee girlfriend so I broke up.  About a month later I found out that the whole time we were together she was living with her own boyfriend.  No wonder she did not have enough time for me!  I do not recommend marrying a Dominicana and would even question having one as a girlfriend.  Here there is not much difference between that and marriage.  It is better to just have amigas.

hello everyone, things are fine with me, i cant wait to do back to the DR 10 week to go, i talk to my girlfriend almost every day on skype and things with us are great but being apart is very difficult. do we need to be married for her to leave the country? she asked to visit friends in italy before and was turned down, what can i do to make it easier for her to join me in canada next year? thanks for any help that you can offer, vince

Hire an Attorney.

You will have a hard time meeting the "right" girl in the Sosua/Cabarete area.
You might do better to spend some weekend time in Santo domingo near the colleges.

Bob K

That's great info to keep in my pocket, BobK.,.,thanks

Get a your dominican residency status first. This will give you dual citizenship with rights as a Dominican national. Get your "Cedula" at the Extranjeria department in capital which is tantamount to US ss card. Afterwords, put in for your domincan residency card at the the department of imigration. Although you have rights to work as just a US citizen.

I would not marry unless relationship has been seasoned for at least 3 years and children come in the picture after five. With few exceptions, foreigners are seen as a ticket to wealth for the most part.Good luck and congratulations!

thank you that is good advice, i am planning on getting a cedula as soon as i return, i cant wait, only a few weeks to go. to change the subject does anyone know the best place to buy a car or does anyone have a car for sale? i was hoping to find a good car for about 5k thanks vince

Hello frost bite.

The Vehicles section (Cars) in the Dominican Republic classifieds can help. You can post an advert there.

Thank you,
Aurélie

First off getting your residency, which you should do if you plan on living here, does NOT give you dual citizenship. To get your DR citizenship is a seperate long process.
Second you now have to start the process for your residency in your home country by obtaining a residency visa. ONly when you have this can you start the process here which is much more involved then just showing up at the dept. of immigration in Santo Dominigo.

Bob K

You are getting some good info and some misinformation on this forum.  Bob K knows what he is speaking about.

Residencia processes have  changed a great deal in recent weeks.  Do your homework - make sure you start the process before leaving Canada to come back.  Otherwise you may have some issues.

And understand getting your "girl" your "fiancee" or your "wife" to Canada will not be easy and it will not be fast! Be prepared for this.  The Canadian embassy does not approve many applications from the DR. Make sure you have all your "proof" and documentation in line before even thinking of starting the application process.

It is in your best interest to stay with her here for some time!  Relationships are hard all the time.  Throw in cultural, language, financial, educational differences and you have the potential for disaster.  Make sure you know what you are doing. Let the honeymoon phase pass before you do anything serious.

Just my advice based on 9 years here!

hello again and thanks for your reply, how do i start the process? what do i need to do before i leave canada? i no nothing about this whole process. my girlfriend said that we can apply for her to leave the dominican as soon as i return but i didnt realize that there was anything to do on my end, she is only coming for a visit this time, maybe a month or two, thank you for any help that you can offer, vince

frost bite wrote:

hello again and thanks for your reply, how do i start the process? what do i need to do before i leave canada? i no nothing about this whole process. my girlfriend said that we can apply for her to leave the dominican as soon as i return but i didnt realize that there was anything to do on my end, she is only coming for a visit this time, maybe a month or two, thank you for any help that you can offer, vince

You will need to get several documents, send them to the Dominican  Embassy to be legalized etc. I can refer you to an excellent English speaking lawyer here in SD who can help you by email  [email protected] Wilson (Billy) can help you.  Feel free to say I sent you.

As to your lady getting a visitor's visa, that too is really tough to get my friend.

Lesson learned for you.  Not sure how you could have developed strong feelings for someone you hardly went out with!

She gave you clear signs from the get go.  Listen to what she said and what she showed you.  Learn for next time. IF a woman is interested in you for the right reasons you will know it.

Don't think all the women are the same, they aren't.  I know some  fabulous Dominicans both male and female. They would never ever lay their problems at a virtual strangers feet. That is your first tip off.

Please come back to visit the country again.

Depends on what you do.  My boyfriend got his work papers because his company got it for him so if you have a skill that companies want, they will do the paperwork for you.

There are also a lot of behind the table jobs as you are an American and they LOVE that at the Resorts.  I know a lot of people working that way because they are always looking for Native English Speakers from America to work at their hotels.

What city will you be in?

Having read more of the thread here about dating someone from the DR, I think you CAN find a nice girl here, but be very very CAREFUL as the majority just want someone that will support them.  And yes, the Sosua area is full of girls wanting to hook up with a rich man to support them.  Try a girl with an education or meet girls going to college.

I also hear that the men/women cheat like hell and it does seem to be the case in many relationships here.  I hear about it all the time from the people themselves.  Seems like that is the culture.  Even some Dominican women who are flight attendants refuse to date Dominican men because of their cheating ways.  I guess the adage is, if you don't know about it, then that's okay as this very educated Dominican women said.  She said she doesn't care if her husband cheats as long as she doesn't find out or know about it.  Like WHAT THE HELL??  She is a very smart woman too.  Strange.

Anyways, my boyfriend lived here for many years and his exgf was Dominican.  He really loved her, but long story short, he paid for everything and she did not want to work.  He kept encouraging her and even said he would help her start up her own salon, but she did not want to work.  The reason why they broke up was that he found her STEALING money from his wallet one day.  Not only did he pay for the apartment, her clothes, her food, he gave her an allowance to spend.  That was not enough for her apparently, and she was caught stealing.  He wondered how long she stole from him and what amount because he never thought to hide his wallet or anything from the woman he loved and dated.

I'm not saying all the girls will be like this, but be VERY VERY CAREFUL when you date someone from a more poor country.  I'm from Vietnam and you see that a lot there too.  Just pick wisely because not everyone is after your money and you can find true love!

After traveling back and forth to the DR for last 4 years, the one thing with all the girls whom I dated that was common was "money." My advice to anyone looking to go to the DR, is to forget relationships.

Forget any type of commitment. Just go out there and do as many women as you can possible can. (Same for women). Now, you may ask yourself, "well why would I do that? I looking for a life partner." Well, I too was on the same journey. But after getting my heart carved out again and again, from Dominican women, I came to realize that the world we live in today is not the same as it was back in the 60s or 70s when our parents got married.

With all the social media in today world, ie. facebook, tweeter, myspace, etc,  one can forget commitment. I came to realize that no matter how much a person wants a relationship to work, if the other partner doesn't put forth the same effort, it wont work and their NOTHING u can do about it as we all have freewill..

My advice for anyone wanting to start a relationship with a woman from the DR is to forget about it. You will find yourself spining around in circle like the hamster and clock and timing is ticking. Instead, you should Go there, don't get serious, meet as much women, [Moderated] as much as you can and forget the whole long distance relationship.

Long distance relationship is a joke. Also, try to learn basic Spanish so that that you don't get taken advantage off. To me, a new light has came on. Will probably get alot of bashing for this post, but it's okay cause if I can save one person from making the same mistakes I made, then, by all means, my effort wasn't a waste.
I see Domincan women and men as cheats, back stabbers, unfaithful, pathological liars, users, gold diggers, and majority of them love the bad boy. Yes, they may have told u that they want the nice guy that will be family oriented, etc..,  but truth be told, domincan women cant get enough of the bad boys (same for women all around the world).

I've always wonder why domincan women would choose a guy that they know wasn't good and allow that same guy to impregnate them and then leave them to take care of the child all by themselves. But this is common in the DR. Water seeks its own level. The men didn't force the women to open their legs. They were the one that made that choice. Here is another piece of advice,  Watch the single mothers.

And in all, have a good time. NEVER again will I try to do any sort of relationship with any women in the DR. For me, it's just, lets get some beer, and afterwards, come to my spot, and let's get to business. But, like I said, would probably get alot of bashing for my opinion. I am just calling it how I see it.

I wish I could take those 4 years I wasted back. But I cant. Hopefully, this will help someone else who is very naive hearing all those stories about how a guy in his 40s went to the DR, to pick up a 18 or 19 year old, brought her back home and happily married her. Reality states that in many cases, the guy will find out the real truth. How the girl was just acting all along. And now, he girl is messing around with other guys, all because the girl missed her adulthood. She didn't get a chance to bang as many guys as she wanted and get that out of her system. She wonders what she missed out on.

Guys, if u do decide you want to get married, marry when u are in your late 50s then. When you are in your early 20s, 30s, and even 40s, just bang everything that moves. Life is too short, doing relationship wondering as to whether or not your partner is messing around is crazy. Even if they are messing around, what can you do to stop them from messing around? Nothing. As we all have free will to do as we choose to.

Forget monogamy. It rarely exist in today world.  With all that I said about the Domincan women, I have to admit, they are beautiful people, One of the most (if not, the most) beautiful people in this world, but, not everything that shines is Gold. ALot of them are heartless. They will use your ass up until they find the next sucker to use. There are some good women out there, but it's like trying to find needle in a haystack. Also, watch if a Dominican women has a tatoo on her body. That is a sign that the girl may not be marriage material. Learned from a friend that a girl with tatoo on her body in the DR is a huge red flag when searching for commitment. Also, make sure that her family (mom and father) are still together. If the father is not there, the relationship is going to be difficult  to maintain. A father plays a HUGE role in a woman's life. So, this will be another red flag.

Watch the women whom are telling you their problems right a way at the start. More than likely, they are gold diggers just ready for u to open your wallet for them. All in all, NEVER EVER EVER EVER give a dime to a Dominican woman unless she is your wife. I made this mistake myself. But, through experienced, I had to  learn the hardway. Love and money doesn't mix in the same sentence. You may think that alittle 2-3 pesos here and there wont hurt, but, more than likely, it will back fire on you when u find out that she is taking your money and screwing other guys. Will feel like a real sucker then... If a woman truly loves u, she will not be telling you her problem nor asking your for money. Only the gold diggers does that and the majority of the women you are going to meet out there are that. Not that there arent gold digegrs here in the states. Yes they are. But in many cases, the women here are upfront with you. They tell you this is what they want, blah blah. With the girls from the DR, they are pathological liars. They will tell you their problems. My baby is sick, my grandmother is dying, on and on.  But, there also are some good ones also. Maybe I;m looking at the wrong places or maybe it's only me that has had these experiences. So all in all, forget relationship with a Dominican women. Take everything they say to u with a grain of salt.