Dating a Vietnamese girl

Naterpotater wrote:

Well, I'm about to embark on trip number 6 to Vietnam since February of this year to see a girl (girlfriend)! It's been a rocky 9 months being in love with a woman from a different culture, who lives on the other side of the planet and barely speaks English (I can say, hello, thank you, and I love you in Vietnamese). I'm writing because I'm beginning to struggle with some trust issues. So many people say don't trust anyone in Southeast Asia. I'm starting to feel a little insecure. When I first met her, my girlfriend seemed so beautiful and innocent, but she is a lot more too, and I see that now. She's beautiful and very intelligent, and has always seemed very transparent, but Is there something that I'm missing?? Everyone tells me to be careful. I've met her family and they seem very nice. Did I mention that I met her in a bar? Maybe that should be a big red flag? It doesn't seem a problem meeting a girl in a bar in the US, but how about Vietnam? Am I foolish, naive, or just paranoid?

Huge red flag!!!

You've made 6 trips to VN since February and you can't speak virtually any Vietnamese?

She would be wise to doubt your sincerity.

Thanks that was really helpful

OceanBeach92107 wrote:

You've made 6 trips to VN since February and you can't speak virtually any Vietnamese?

I've been in Vietnam for over a year and can't speak Vietnamese.

Not everyone has a soft spot for foreign languages.  And not everyone likes to talk a lot, which makes learning the foreign languages difficult.

I always let my wife speak.  She will always do it better than me. 

Nah. 
Naive, foolish or paranoia are signs of a healthy curiosity.   Don't stray to extremes.

As many of us (older, wiser, less trusting) persons here who have either crashed and burned or seen the same so many times will (always) say...

..RUN FOR THE HILLS..!!!    ..but who takes such biased advice..?

Scroll through (so many!) former flameouts to get the gist of our warnings (or) read the multitude of books which will walk you thu this very topic (without clear answers) 

You may well have won the Lottery!   (Go with the money!!!)   (better odds)

But who knows?   Only you (and your healthy doubts) can choose your destiny

Cultures aside, the long game is played all over the world, and appearances are very often well designed to trap the unwary.   Parents will approve.   Not if, only when you marry a Vietnamese woman, you marry the family: all of them (!!!)     Westerner = walking ATM...   ..as so many have found...

Red flags and Doubt are your best protection : never lose them! 

Remember too, the honeymoon period only lasts two rounds of seasons; 2 years here, so (because you are genuine) be sincere and live, work, play together, experience a few stressful situations to find the person behind the persona...  ..works every time...

Never dare think about playing poor.  As (any) old and decrepit Westerner has found, the true prize is security; green card, residence in your country, higher earnings, (etc)

Body language never lies.   The truth may be bitter, but (far) better than the sweet lies you will be fed to convince you of an integrity that can never exist.

You will be rewarded by your research.   (Try to be) objective...

Yes, there have been (literally) thousands who have walked this road before.   

Very few have survived...     
.

Hi Nate. Here are a few things to be aware of. They are based on my experience.

I dated a VN woman 34 for two years until 36 years old. We broke up this September. I made two trips to Ho Chi Minh City. We enjoyed time traveling around VN. She was innocent, lacked social skills. I was her first man that introduced sex and other social life to her. We enjoyed life together. She was very insecured about her body, looks, and lacked confidence, hence reasons she avoided men until I met her on a dating site.

But here is the kicker. America, Europe, and other western countries are the primary reasons most Asian woman will date a man from there. Nothing else. They all want to live there. They want to leave VN. No matter what she tells you, most of it is pretending. Their main goal is to pursue you to marry her and take her to your western country, or America. And even if she doesn't lobe you, or wants to live with you forever, she will still pretend and you will believe she loves you and actually wants to live with you forever.

Asian, VN women are very beautiful, but look beyond the beauty if you want someone to have a family with.

If you are a white man, it is very easy for them to warm up to you quickly. Parents will accept you without even investigating your flaws and earning potential or backgrounds. You are highly accepted and will be their Rockstar, because Asian women and their parents associate White men with wealth and success regardless he is a poor rat from a rundown neighborhood in an American city. Haha.

Inform yourself. Here's how to do it. I suggest you watch "My Online Bride" a documentary by Netflix. It helped me learned about the mindset of Asian women and Eastern European women who are so desperate to live in America, that they would do anything.

I hope this helps.

Naterpotater wrote:

Thanks that was really helpful

I really was trying to be helpful, though perhaps not in the way you (or many others on here) would prefer.

This dissection of Vietnamese women is getting old and somewhat offensive.

I'm 100% totally certain you are not a troll (kinda) but your post is still successfully trolling the same lot who always focus on why the woman is a risky bet, or a risky investment or (as Yogi implies) an inferior piece of flesh for a little dong.

I am saying, whether or not it was your intent, your post makes you out to be a lovesick puppy. You may very well be an easy mark in the eyes of some wise Vietnamese woman, but that's not her fault. You created you with little to no help from her.

If this sounds offensive, it's certainly no more offensive than the trash talk that persists on here regarding Vietnamese women.

No, I didn't miss that she's a bar girl, but again, you went and hunted her down there. Was that really your goal for your future? Because you are the one who put out the most effort in creating your predicament.

Instead of seeking help from strangers with your relationship with a virtual stranger, seek out the honest opinions of those who know you best AND who have your best interests at heart.

To OceanBeach's response above I agree you can't ask and get a good answer.  I am similar to you but haven't asked strangers who haven't met me or my fiance what they think about our relationship as they have no point of reference to form an opinion.  I've been in Vietnam several times since April and was introduced to a beautiful girl by a Viet friend of mine who lives there back in April.  I was a bit fearful of a true relationship, as you are, based on what I read initially about relationships, golden ticket to the US, an ATM, but have formed my own opinion of this woman.  It also helps greatly that she speaks fluent English so we talk every night for a couple of hours so even though we have met for a few weeks at a time over the last six months we have literally hundred of hours of true conversation about any topics that come to mind so that has made it more similar to dating a western woman.  I'm coming over again in November and again in January but permanently moving there in February.  We are to marry April 21.

Thank you friend,
I really appreciate your words. Never thought I would find myself in such a complicated situation. But who can resist the beauty and culture of these Vietnamese women. Nothing like I've ever experienced before in the US.
Thanks again and take care

Naterpotater wrote:

Well, I'm about to embark on trip number 6 to Vietnam since February of this year to see a girl (girlfriend)! It's been a rocky 9 months being in love with a woman from a different culture, who lives on the other side of the planet and barely speaks English (I can say, hello, thank you, and I love you in Vietnamese). I'm writing because I'm beginning to struggle with some trust issues. So many people say don't trust anyone in Southeast Asia. I'm starting to feel a little insecure. When I first met her, my girlfriend seemed so beautiful and innocent, but she is a lot more too, and I see that now. She's beautiful and very intelligent, and has always seemed very transparent, but Is there something that I'm missing?? Everyone tells me to be careful. I've met her family and they seem very nice. Did I mention that I met her in a bar? Maybe that should be a big red flag? It doesn't seem a problem meeting a girl in a bar in the US, but how about Vietnam? Am I foolish, naive, or just paranoid?

This is like 'You got me at 'hello''. Trust your gut instinct. You don't wanna be telling your kids later that you met mama at a bar, do you? On the other hand, someone on here will tell you Viet bar girls are diamonds in the rough.

there are thousands of good viet girls in VN, but my recommendation, avoid the bar girls, no exceptions.  You need to find a way to meet a good viet girl who has a normal job or goes to college.  There are thousands, do not rush.  Not saying all bar girls are bad, just the percentages are not in your favor.  Question yourself, why would you want a bar girl when there are thousands of good viet girls available?

Hello Naterpotater,
Thank you for participating to the tread. You describing your girlfriend and her parents fits perfectly my fiancee and her family descriptio.
Lately I have been having some serious  insecuririties and doubts about fiancee. she has been acting weird and she is being very secretive with me and she is less communicating with me. Plus in my situation very costly! I am souffering and she is killing me! I am working  on a project in the USA and I cannot drop my project assignment. I do not know what to do!!!
Thinking about hiring a private detective in HCMC, hacking her iPhone, I am going crazy!! Nuts!!
My friend I feel for you because I am going through the same ordeal. In my case we have been together on and off for 6 years!! the last few months I have been seeing some my major changes in her attitude and actions toward me.
Please, if you have any ideas do not hesitate to share them with me, I will really appreciate it. Thank you.
Do you have any ideas on who can or how to remotely hack an iPhone??

Till soon you take care

Benjamin

Hey Benjamin,
I know exactly what you are feeling my friend. So painful. When I try to talk with my girl about anything she turns it around, denies, and probably lies. I think you have to decide if you can stay in the relationship with so many unknowns. I have thought about hiring a private investigator. Look at Zele investigators. They seem to have a good reputation. The issue that I face is this though: if I don't trust her so much that I would hire a private investigator, I think my question is already answered. It means I will never trust her. Even if the PI turns up nothing, I will still be suspicious. The thing that really breaks my heart is that my girl still follows western men on social media and I don't know how she knows them. I mean, I understand if it is a Vietnamese guy who has been friends since childhood or something. But a guy from the UK?? Wow. She also worked in a bar and almost the first thing out of her mouth when I met her was “I only worked here for 3 days, and as a cashier, and I never sleep with customers”. I was so naive. Anyways, i am thinking the best thing for me is to break it off with her, but again, so painful. I love her so much and want to make it work so badly, but I have such a sick and sinking feeling.. I probably need to focus on myself. Go to a retreat, go to Yosemite and hike in the mountains, cry for a week and let her go.

This girl is no doubt a diamond. Best woman I have ever been with in my life. I just don't know if I can live my life thinking about the 1,000 “clients” she may have had before me. And what if she decides to go back to her old ways after I bring her to the US??

Hey OceanBeach,
Again, not helpful at all. I came on here for a little understanding and communication and wow, maybe even a little compassion if that's not too hard. The issue is a language barrier, cultural barrier, and 24 hours of travel time to see my girl almost make it feel impossible. Relationships are a two way street. I'm just trying to understand the situation I've found myself in. And yes, boy you are perceptive, I am a love sick puppy. I really care for this girl very much, I just don't want to end up hurt and broken in the end. Your responses are just not at all helpful. I wasn't looking for an insult, but insight.

Libhero wrote:

But here is the kicker. America, Europe, and other western countries are the primary reasons most Asian woman will date a man from there. Nothing else. They all want to live there. They want to leave VN....

I hope this helps.

If you are a middle aged male looking for love in Vietnam, be very very very careful! I'm not saying that it is not achievable but I can see easily why some foreigners are exploited and taken advantage of. Pretty face, white skin, and skinny body = easy setup...

In Vietnam, the girls that are pros call it a 2 step plan. Step 1) i'm marrying you and getting my green card to leave for America, and citizenship in 3 years Step 2) i'm divorcing you and taking half your money, re marry to a younger guy with lots more money and live out my day.

It is a 10 year plan at least, which is not that long of a time considering where these girls and there families came from in rural parts of Vietnam.

Most foreigners forget, that a lot of the girls in HCMC, especially in the bars, are from other parts of Vietnam and came to HCMC to work and make money so they can send it back home to the family. Girls from Mien Tay area invented the 2 step plans. I have 2 uncles that fell victim to it and now shooting themselves in the foot on why the hell did they ever do that in the first place.

Nate: Move on, there's so much red flag there that you probably missed. Even thinking about hiring a PI should already tell you enough about the situation.

Stay alert out there guys!

Sadly, the OP can see the wood in the trees.

Now, which way out of the forest?

Love is sufficient unto itself: the worst poison is desire: there are no facts; only perspectives.  Possibly the worst being that our suspicions arise from the knowledge we have of ourselves.         So not broken, but certainly hurting, for recovery takes time.

And the doubt works both ways, for we all carry an (unconscious?) 'shopping list' of qualities required.   The end game is the soul-mate, so the Lottery analogy is valid for both gender.                  And 0001% is still a chance...

Yet again, Ethos, Pathos, Logos.   Logic always comes after the fire of passion dies to the warm glow of the true friendship that should have been the beginning. 

Otherwise the one with the power is the one who cares the least.   

Correct!  Time in solitude is the best cure.   

Being rational works.    ..eventually... 

The upside being there is no way for any person to be perfect

But there are infinite ways for us to be a better person

..or find a better one... 
.

I met my girl last year and went to Vietnam in August and met her family. Her uncle asked for so much proof that I was single and eligible for marriage I was a little confused as it's not important in the west. But thinking about it, it gave me confidence that she was genuine.
The family were great as were her friends, how she was with me when her friends were around was good, didn't ignore me and tried to involve me. More confidence.
Love is a gamble mate, wherever you are from and however far away she is and you should only gamble with what you're prepared to lose.
It doesn't matter what she did in the past because it's in the past. Forget it.
Learn and accept the vast amount of cultural differences because even a small thing will have you wondering why she isn't picking up or responding to a text and it could be an anniversary of a dead relative or something.
Know your place in her world too, you are 5th in line remember that. Family, money, friends, work then you.
Only you truly know your girl and your situation mate and only you can decide.
Good luck and my best wishes

My only advice about the women in hcmc is to follow the money trail.  Can money she makes support her current lifestyle?  Else there is more to it.

As for how to get over her.  Delete her contact info, unfriend her from all social media apps to eliminate temptation from rainy days, do not harbor any ideas of getting back together.  Then go work out in the gym, start counting your current blessings, keep yourself busy, and volunteer to help the disadvantaged.  If still doesn't work then spend an hour in a nursing home, you will realize how minuscule your current problem really is.  Good luck.

Naterpotater wrote:

Hey Benjamin,
I know exactly what you are feeling my friend. So painful. When I try to talk with my girl about anything she turns it around, denies, and probably lies. I think you have to decide if you can stay in the relationship with so many unknowns. I have thought about hiring a private investigator. Look at Zele investigators. They seem to have a good reputation. The issue that I face is this though: if I don't trust her so much that I would hire a private investigator, I think my question is already answered. It means I will never trust her. Even if the PI turns up nothing, I will still be suspicious. The thing that really breaks my heart is that my girl still follows western men on social media and I don't know how she knows them. I mean, I understand if it is a Vietnamese guy who has been friends since childhood or something. But a guy from the UK?? Wow. She also worked in a bar and almost the first thing out of her mouth when I met her was “I only worked here for 3 days, and as a cashier, and I never sleep with customers”. I was so naive. Anyways, i am thinking the best thing for me is to break it off with her, but again, so painful. I love her so much and want to make it work so badly, but I have such a sick and sinking feeling.. I probably need to focus on myself. Go to a retreat, go to Yosemite and hike in the mountains, cry for a week and let her go.

Ik68 wrote:

Her uncle asked for so much proof that I was single and eligible for marriage I was a little confused as it's not important in the west.....

People with bad intentions use this as a qualifying question to determine how long it will take for them to be cleared to go to the states!

Stay alert guys!!!

Before I met my present wife, I had some relationships in Thailand and Vietnam.

None of these women really wanted to leave their families and go to a foreign country.

If an Asian woman doesn't want to leave her home country and wants to have more than a long-distance relationship with you, you are certainly on the right track.

If she works in a bar, chats with a lot of foreigners or doesn't answer you every time within a day, forget her.

Don't forget, if you're not in Vietnam, there are hundreds of other foreigner court her.  Think the other way around, if you were court by hundreds of Vietnamese women in your home country.
I don't believe in long time long distance relationships.

tdang1017 wrote:

I have 2 uncles that fell victim to it and now shooting themselves in the foot on why the hell did they ever do that in the first place.

I experienced something similar, but my exgirlfriend had a good job at a bank. Looking back, I think she loved me in her own strange and crazy way.

I should have seen some signs earlier, like she only wants to live in Germany and so on, but I didnt.
She asked me to change my job to work for a bigger company. She said I would earn more, I tried to explain her that it's not necessarily the case (Average salary in germany is about 42.000 USD /year before tax, I'm 32 and earn three times that). But no matter what I said, she said better to work for big company.

I guess there was some family pressure behind some of her wishes. She was beaten by her siblings and parents when she was a kid and grew up with her 3 aunties (all older and single). I think they were pushing her in some of those requests.

I would date a vietnamese girl again, but I would approach it differently.

Thanks ik68,
Your heartfelt response is much appreciated.
By the way, I deleted my old account by accident and had to create a new one. So this is me: naterpotater

Ik68 wrote:

It doesn't matter what she did in the past because it's in the past. Forget it.
Learn and accept the vast amount of cultural differences because even a small thing will have you wondering why she isn't picking up or responding to a text and it could be an anniversary of a dead relative or something.
Know your place in her world too, you are 5th in line remember that. Family, money, friends, work then you.

Ok mate, I am going to give you my opinion based on my experiences, both gold diggers and good girls,  in VN and each point above in your posts are red flags and here is why:

1.  Her past, forget it?  Wrong, it is extremely important to understand her past.  First, because for her, you knowing her past is extremely important that you know who she is and what she has done.  Example, my wife had 1 bf in her life before she met me.  I knew about him and everything from the beginning.  Second, to this day, she still tells me that she is sorry that she had 1 bf before me and it hurts her that we did not meet earlier.  Fourth, she is definitely going to want to know your past, even if she does not ask and will ask you to forget all of it and devote yourself to her 100%.  You need to understand how serious marriage and love is in VN with both types of women as even the gold diggers look for real love, but usually are to focused on money. 

2. Not worry about small things like not picking up or respond to a tex and it could be an anniversary of a dead relative or something?  Again, VN women who are serious will respond to your call and text faster than flash gordan, even if there is an anniversary or something similar.  Example, when my father in law passed away and we were just BF and GF, I was in the USA but you better believe, I participated in all the formal ceremonies related to his passing via live video.  A good VN woman will share everything with you and let you know where she is, who she is with, what she is doing and will even ask your permission before she does just about anything, especially if she thinks it might hurt you.  I ask you to test her, tell her she did not text you after you texted her and watch her go crazy and send you screen shots of her text to you.  Trust me, it works well.   In addit ion, even one of the gold diggers i met warmed up to me after I asked her why she did not text me right away or soon after my text, she stated "i like you, but just that, if I really loved you and was serious, of course I would text you right away and be in constant contact with you".  Bottom line, a VN woman will be in constant contact with you 24/7.  As i say, VN GF's are like possessive GF's on steroids.

3.  Know your place, you are 5th in line?  Dude, you better get out of that relationship ASAP because that is not normal for a VN woman in love/married.  You better do some homework.  When it comes to love, marriage and your family with her, YOU are #1, no exception.  You come before her VN family, work, extended family etc.  Of course her VN family is important, but you are #1.  Once she marries, you are her husband and she will devote her life to you to make you happy.  She will share all family secrets and listen to you first.  If you do not get that from your wife, there is a big problem.

I wish you the best of luck mate, but based on your posts, I would have serious doubts.

..wish I could say it so well...     

Go to a strip joint. At least that'll take your mind off of her for a little bit.

hahahaha, Gold

Excellent reply from vndreamer.  This is to second his comments.

Ik68 wrote:

It doesn't matter what she did in the past because it's in the past. Forget it.

Just from that sentence alone, I can tell that the speaker is a Westerner. 

This is the country where the past doesn't stay in the past, but continues into the present and serves as an indication for the future.  A youthful mistake can be pardoned, but deliberate choice of a certain lifestyle doesn't fall into the category of "it's in the past, forget it."  What a person did in the past is what has shaped and formed the person s/her is today.

Ik68 wrote:

Learn and accept the vast amount of cultural differences

Precisely.  And Vietnamese culture dictates that good Vietnamese women from good families do not go to bars, let alone work in bars; that they do not have a string of boyfriends;  that affairs of the heart should lead to marriage.

Ik68 wrote:

it could be an anniversary of a dead relative or something.

Anniversary of a dead relative doesn't take up a person's 60 seconds of every minutes and 60 minutes of every hour.  Have you ever been to those events?  If the answer is yes, didn't you see the amount of phone calls being made and being responded to during the preparation, the cooking, the chatting, the eating, and the cleaning up?  Didn't you see the activities being posted on FB live?  If your gf had the wherewithal to share everything with everyone in her FB circle at the time it happened, what was the reason she couldn't spare a few minutes to answer your text?

Ik68 wrote:

Know your place in her world too, you are 5th in line remember that. Family, money, friends, work then you.

No, no, no, no, and no. 

First no:  Once a Vietnamese woman gets married, her own family (her husband, and later on, her children) are her first priority.  She still cares for her parents, but they're demoted to number two or three now. 

Do you know why the bride's parents do not wave to the bride or see her out when she leaves on her wedding day?  Her friends and cousins would accompany her to her new home, but her parents, after a hug and a kiss in the living room, would stay put.  It's because she no longer belongs to them.  By not seeing her out, they give her the blessing to lead her own life and become important to a man to whom she owes her loyalty from that point on.

Second no:  Money is important in all countries, but money doesn't rank above relationships in Vietnam.  The Vietnamese women whom most foreigners meet are of a different breed, they don't represent Vietnamese women.  As of Dec 31, 2017, there are 48,519,393 Vietnamese women living in Vietnam, with a median age of 31.  Out of those 48.5 million women, how many of them seek out relationships with foreigners?  I'm not going to hazard a guess, but I don't think the number is very high.  Whatever experience you read about in these forums, I can guarantee you it's doesn't reflect the way the majority of Vietnamese women live and behave.

Third no:  Friends are important to the younger crowd, but not to the more mature women.  At a certain age (mid 30s, perhaps?), the number of friends with whom they share the ins and outs of their lives is probably in the single digit, and those friends do not rank above their spouses.

Fourth no:  How many Vietnamese have a true profession or a career related to the degree for which they went to school, a profession or career they can pursue in a lateral move?  Very, very, very few, I'm telling you.  A great majority of Vietnamese have jobs, not professions or careers.  They don't live for their Jobs although they need the jobs to pay the bills.  I seriously doubt you can find more than 10% of Vietnamese population, both men and women, who rank jobs above spouses or families.

Fifth no:  If your gf or would-be-spouse rank you #5 in her life, there's either something wrong with you, with her, or with the relationship.  Only you can determine where the problem lies.

vndreamer wrote:

1.  Her past, forget it?  Wrong, it is extremely important to understand her past.  First, because for her, you knowing her past is extremely important that you know who she is and what she has done. 

2. Not worry about small things like not picking up or respond to a tex and it could be an anniversary of a dead relative or something?  Again, VN women who are serious will respond to your call and text faster than flash gordan, even if there is an anniversary or something similar. 

3.  Know your place, you are 5th in line?  Dude, you better get out of that relationship ASAP because that is not normal for a VN woman in love/married.

I totally agree with 1.
2.: There might be some exceptions that she won't answer, but if it takes more than 2 hours it's either night or something really bad happened. I like the Flash Gordan analogy.
3.: Well, her family is definitely important, but 5th in line, something is wrong. (My exgirlfriend never listened to me at all. When she had her opinion, 99.9% she kept it.)

Just to totally agree with what VNDREAMER and CIAMBELLA said.
Take to heart what they said.

My GF never mentioned living in America, until I did, like a year later.
And she made/makes it clear that she wants a good man. If I wanted to live in Vietnam, she would be happy to stay. Her family is here and that is also important.

Wxx3 wrote:

My GF never mentioned living in America, until I did, like a year later.
And she made/makes it clear that she wants a good man. If I wanted to live in Vietnam, she would be happy to stay. Her family is here and that is also important.

Even though a US citizenship can be a good lure, not a small number of women rather stay in Vietnam and live in comfort (with the support of their husbands) than moving to the States where two income is necessary for most households.

Ciambella wrote:

Wxx3 wrote:

My GF never mentioned living in America, until I did, like a year later.
And she made/makes it clear that she wants a good man. If I wanted to live in Vietnam, she would be happy to stay. Her family is here and that is also important.

Even though a US citizenship can be a good lure, not a small number of women rather stay in Vietnam and live in comfort (with the support of their husbands) than moving to the States where two income is necessary for most households.

Agreed.  My wife had no intention of ever living in the USA and I tried my best to get a job in SEA, but at my level, it was challenging.  We almost ended up in Singapore, which was our preference, but as it turned out, we could not pass up the opportunity in the USA.  Although she likes the USA, she is not impressed and we have every intention of moving back to SEA when I retire. 

Second, believe it or not, my preference would be to live in SEA over the USA, no doubt.  Our future plan, have a home in the USA and SEA so we can go back and forth when we want.

I am going to assume that this is the appropriate thread to discuss this topic.  So dating a VN girl and if you get married, you better believe she wants to start a family, let alone family pressure. 

Well, no need to guess, the answer is yes, we are starting a family and baby is due in February, a little girl, Lan Anh.  If you want your VN wife to love you more, start a family.  It is amazing to see my wife smile and happy everyday with the baby bump and she reminds me everyday, thank you chong yeu for giving us a baby and we will have a happy family, so sure.

Congrats.  Babies are always a blessing, more so to loving parents.  Lan Anh is a pretty name, and better yet, a name with strong characteristics.

I am from Singapore.

Worked in VN once upon a time x 8 years.  Great exotic country.
Firstly, do not stereotype other races.
Mirror is a good reflection of ourselves.

There are many great / good girls in Vietnam; not necessarily, meeting a girl at a VN Bar spells problem, but like one of us said, the odds are against you.

When you are faraway, the girl is not contactable who always tells you her phone has got an issue, that's symptomatic that she is with another man.  But again, that is normal, as you are 1/2 a globe away.    Also, ask yourself; what had you given her in terms of livelihood and security.  She needs to eat and drink, right?So, let's get practical and realistic.

If you believed that anyone is the ONE for you?  Act fast.  Winner takes all.
These are the simple rules of natural law.

Move on!
Good Luck!

To anyone reading this who feels they may be in the same position, here is something to think about.
Nothing to do with Vietnamese, women or anything.

If you are not rusting your partner to a point that you want to hack their phone or hire a private detective. Your done. Stick a fork in it.

Because no matter what happens in the future, you don't trust your partner, so what's the point. I don't care how much you think you are in love. Find someone else.

I know you will be listen, but maybe someone reading this may.

Agreed.   I'd rather be trusty than rusty...     

Wxx3 wrote:

To anyone reading this who feels they may be in the same position, here is something to think about.

If you are not rusting your partner to a point that you want to hack their phone or hire a private detective. Your done. Stick a fork in it.

Because no matter what happens in the future, you don't trust your partner, so what's the point. I don't care how much you think you are in love. Find someone else.

Well said. As soon as hiring a private detective pops into your mind its time to move on. Its over. If your from any developed country finding a good woman in a developing country should be relatively easy. I will refrain from saying like shooting fish in a barrel.. Well maybe not.. LOL  A bar in Vietnam is the last place I would look for a wife.
I see a lot of good advice sprinkled all through this thread. But I doubt anything said on here will change your mind. Your blinded by her looks or the sex and now think your in love. Good Luck..

Three points popped up here. Let's say you want to find a partner in the US. Know that the chances are very high that any woman you meet with a first degree and career, carries at least $30,000 consume debts. Plus your own debts. That's lot of burdens.

But take a girl from Asia, VN, Philippines for example, with sane first degree and a career. No debt. And if you have no debt like me, your life will be very good.

Third point is that Asian women are traditional. Meaning, they usually commit to relationship and want to see it work. Relationship is difficult so it requires all parties to work hard to keep it alive. But take American culture for example. Here we replace objects, possessions, and properties. So people in this generation take the replacement lifestyle and behavior to relationship. If I don't want him or her, no working at it. I replace him or her to find a new one.

These are some reasons Asian women are exotic and attractive to western men for wife. Of course they are more beautiful. Simply walking like a woman, not as men do, adds to their attractiveness.