Hallo, i need help , i'm married to a German and since 1 Year living together in Germany, my marriage isn't working but somehow my husband still doing his obligations and let me live in peacefully. I accidentally know one guy, he's German and he convinced me that i can start relationships and move together to him. I would like to skip the unnecessary story here and straight to the point. I'm now 2 months pregnant with my German guy but sadly he's washing his hand and run away just leave the message that he's not into a father life yet because he's still studying. Ok I'm *** and i don't know where to begin now since my husband will totally kick me and i don't want to go back to my own country not with my pregnancy. I will not Abort this baby and i will keep it no matter what. What should i do? My Aufenthaltstitel will expired next year. If i tell my husband he will divorce me immediately and how can i still able to live in Germany? With no money and job. I need advice , thanks and have a nice day
Pregnancy without the father in Germany
I guess you don't need any lectures but people's behavior has consequences. Seems you didn't care about your husband when you started another relationship and now you are stuck. As far as your marriage, your husband cannot divorce you immediately - this is not possible in Germany. You need to live separately for a minimum of 1 year before getting a divorce. Not sure if you would be able to extend your residency permit in the meantime. But your child will be also be a German citizen since the father is one. As the mother of a German citizen who is a minor, I think they have to let you stay in Germany - except if you commit a serious crime. You will need to concentrate on picking up the pieces of your life and see that you can care for your child - but residency should not be a problem.
You should also be aware that the father of the baby will be expected to pay support whether he likes it or not. Normally a woman's husband is assumed to be the father. Legally, a man in Germany formerly had to pay for children produced in a marriage even if it was clear that he wasn't the biological father. This has changed. Your husband will be able to take a gene test to prove he is not the father to avoid any child payments in the future if you divorce. This can prove he is not the biological father but not who the actual father is. The biological father should have to pay support - but the question is if you can prove who he is.
The biological father can voluntarily submit to a test but not be forced from my understanding of the latest laws. People have secretly gotten hair or other genetic material from someone and had it tested to determine fatherhood. The problem is that such evidence is not valid in a court. Interestingly, it is currently possible for a man to claim paternity in Germany without getting tested to verify it. This sounds strange since they would then have financial obligations for the child. But some are claiming that foreigners are now doing this as a way to stay in Germany.
I am posting a link from the German Minister for Health about the law concerning genetic testing. The relevant page is in German. This site has an English version but I did not find the particular page there.
https://www.bundesgesundheitsministeriu … esetz.html
First thing first: Don't panic!
It is possible for you to stay on in Germany and have the child. You can get the support you need - you must just ask for it at the right place.
There are charities that help women in such problems as you are having - do go and seek their (free) advice! ProFamilia is one of them that has offices in most major cities. Here are their contact details for Hamburg (where you live, according to your profile):
https://www.profamilia-hamburg.de/de/be … ellen.html
As Tom pointed out above, legally your husband will be father until a genetic test proves (or both of you declare) that he is not the biological father. Then you can force (by legal action) the biological father to accept his duties as a parent - ProFamilia can explain to you how.
In both cases, you have advantages (German citizenship for the child, entitlement to financial support by the father) and disadvantages (the father has a right to meet the child regularly and you cannot make major decisions about the child's life alone - for example, you cannot return to your home country with it if the father does not agree!).
And, as Tom also pointed out, your husband cannot divorce you immediately - a one year separation is required, followed by costly legal proceedings.
Do seek advice from ProFamilia or a similar charity - and do think about how (and with whom) you want to spend your life in future. Do not make hurried decisions: You need some time (weeks or months) until the fog in your mind lifts - you can and should wait that long!
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