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about to marry a jordanian man...

Hi everybody,

Please note that some inappropriate posts have been removed.

Thanks,

Priscilla  :cheers:

Hi im from california and ongoing to marry  man from Jordan also.  I plan to live there and move back here.  But I will probably be in Jordan for a year.  It's kinda a big step.  My friends and family are mixed on this choice but so are his.  They we're worried that I wanted to have him send me money and in the end I was simply stealing his money with no intention of marrying him... And you can imagine my families worries.  But no one really knows our relationship as we do.  I know that there are always people out there that intentions are self motivated.  But there are always clues... Anyway I would be moving to zarqa, and you Amman?  When would do you believe you would move?  I am hoping for July or sooner... I am going to stay with his aunt and uncle in Chicago before I go to Jordan.  They want to help us.  He comes from a really awesome family and I was so thankful that they are kind to me. But it was after getting to know me a bit... They we're pretty apprehensive at first but now they treat me like family. 
I would love to hear more about your experience I'm the only person I know that has ever been In my situation.

Obviously there are a lot of us that have been in a similar situation :).  My only advice is (I am assuming you are applying for him to come to the usa) make sure you research what you need to sponsor him to come to the USA before you move.  You may be complicating things by quitting your job, giving up your residence, etc., so make sure you have all your ducks in a row before you go.  Although it would have been 100 times easier for me to have just applied from the USA for my husband, I am glad I came in spent two years here.  Makes it a lot easier for me to understand my husband.  Just be aware Zarqa is a lot different from California.

Good morning,
My name is Mirna.  I need to ask you if you can help me. I am looking to see how i can divorce a Jordanian who lives in Jordan and i am a Canadian citizen, i live in Canada but he is no longer interested in me. Is there any way that i can get this done as soon as i can please. I need some help.!
Thank you.

Good morning,
Please help me how i can divorce a Jordanian living in Jordan. He has no interest in me no more.  There is no love now i see he only used me. Please get back to me. ***
I really need this case over and done with. I hope you can help me.
Thank you

Moderated by Priscilla 2 months ago
Reason : Do not post your personal contact details on a public forum for your own security

Welcome on board  :cheers:

I feel sorry for you that you have to go through this.
Is your marriage registered in Canada?
If not than you can choose the option to do nothing as probably you are unmarried according to the Canadian law. But you have ti check that first.

If you have children, he's financial responsible for the children and for you.
Based on this you can force him to pay. But then you need a lawyer who can help you.
Please contact the nearest Jordanian embassy to get more information.

All the best.

Oh thank goodness no children with him. I have not registered my marriage in Canada. So is that it. No issues. I wonder but I can call and ask.

Hello. So no email i understand
Thank you

Thank you for all the feedback. Best wishes to you as well

Even if your marriage isn't registered in Canada I'd still make sure you are legally divorced if and when you do decide to get married again.  You never know when things can come back to haunt you.   I don't know anything about canadian laws, but in some of the states (divorce law varies by state in the USA) you can petition for the divorce by publication.  Basically when you file, instead of having the spouse be served the papers, if you cant find or contact your spouse, you have to put an ad in a paper announcing the intent to divorce and wait something like a minimum of six months for the spouse to contest the divorce to the court.  If they don't, the petitioning spouse is granted the divorce.  Really best to check with an attorney.  Best of luck.

Thank you Kip. I will definitely make aure i find out and get it done. Have a good day.

hello there....i just finished reading what you wrote and im hoping you will see this....is there any way you can email me...id like to discuss some things with you....i am an american marrying a jordanian man this september....before i do i would really like to speak to with you about the interesting things you have stated.....thank you...*

Moderated by Christine last month
Reason : please share your contact details via pm. Thank you

Hello, good afternoon
To be honest it was good, very good in the beginning.  My current husband did everything right. He was courteous, loving tender, looked put for me every way, so caring and he even stopped smoking cause i get sick from it.  Afterwards like a year or b4 it was not the same. He wasn't showing the same thing and started smoking again.  I went back the 2nd time and got married, even though i still believed he was good. Unfortunately things went sour it did go down the hill from there.  He wasn't concern about me no more.  He just wanted to come to Canada because he said, ' i want to be there for you, it won't be the same as it is now'. So i started seeing more red flags. His family was always good to me. But idk maybe he is just not use to a different environment and wanted me to be paying attention to him than me. Kinda felt like that. But now he is still in Jordan and he has hurt me deeply with his actions and i don't want nothing to do with him no more. I do love his family. I still love him of course too but can't love like this no more. I was goin to sponsor him but i have no more interest in a man who doesn't have or show any interest with ne no more for too long. It seems like eventually we both lost touch with one another and he gives up so easily,  doesn't push or help the relationship to get better. I am very disappointed with this situation and i have been fighting too long to keep it together and no help from him. So I'll remain alone is been a bad experience for me. I am not ready at all for another relationship. No way. But yea any questions. You can ask.

@fortyninergirl68:

From who you would like to get more information in private?
I strongly advice not to give any personal details on an open  forum like this. You'll never know who is reading too and can take bad advantage of it.

I understand.  Thanku

My baby sister recently married a Jordanian man from Amman. I am so worried for her safety. My sister shouldn't even be married to any one period because she is very promiscuous. She cannot be with just one man and one man only and be faithful to them she is a cheater. Although I completely agree that my sisters actions are very wrong and I am against cheating. I think cheating is wrong and I would never cheat on my spouse. Regardless of my sisters choices in life she still is my baby sis and I love her and would never want anything bad to happen to her. I am afraid the man she married and his family will find out she is cheating and they will kill her. She just gave birth a few days ago to his baby. She takes trips from America to Amman jordan all the time. Do you think he would kill her if she got caught? What would they do to her?

Hello,

Sorry to hear about your bad experience. It's amazing the red flags and signs you mention. No matter how many times I deny it, I think I am in a one-way relationship, thinking my Jordanian husband loves me. Just when things seem to be going ok, another red flag.

He, or his family, could kill her I would think. She would likely lose custody of the child, too in case of divorce.

Shame she got married too soon before she was ready to settle down.

I don't know about her husband nor his family but I do know when they found out about her promiscuous behaviour, she's in deep trouble.
Cheating or having a lover besides your spouse, is in general not accepted.
Strange enough it seems more acceptable for a man than a woman.

Why she get married in the first place when she knows she can't stick to one partner?
Does she have any idea how much she can hurts others by her actions?

Independent woman, O...M...G....! So you and he are married and he doesn't want his family to know? Why?

Type0neg, Zarqa is not like Amman, even now. Quite conservative. A grainy, industrial city. Just my opinion but it reminded me more of Detroit than California. Don't go out unless you cover, whatever your religion, and preferably not alone, day or night, unless you speak fluent Arabic. Definitely not at all like West Amman.

@ peacelovelight  Hi. I am sort of a fan of yours now. Reading your posts here saved me from a huge mistake. I met a guy online from Jordan promising me the world...after reading your posts I did further research...come to find out that almost everything he told me is a lie! I also stopped seeking out guys from there. Not that they are all bad. ..i am sure they're not. But, they just aren't for me. Thanks to you i know that now. They have all wanted visas. ..I can see it very clearly now. You saved me. I don't know you but I love you like a sister already. I converted to Islam on my own three years ago and have had no girls to talk to about it...maybe you will? Thank you thank you a million times thank you for your posts here. Wishing you all the happiness and freedom you deserve. I will pray for you :)

Hi everyone. I am new :)

HollyWould :

@ peacelovelight  Hi. I am sort of a fan of yours now. Reading your posts here saved me from a huge mistake. I met a guy online from Jordan promising me the world...after reading your posts I did further research...come to find out that almost everything he told me is a lie! I also stopped seeking out guys from there. Not that they are all bad. ..i am sure they're not. But, they just aren't for me. Thanks to you i know that now. They have all wanted visas. ..I can see it very clearly now. You saved me. I don't know you but I love you like a sister already. I converted to Islam on my own three years ago and have had no girls to talk to about it...maybe you will? Thank you thank you a million times thank you for your posts here. Wishing you all the happiness and freedom you deserve. I will pray for you :)

I am so glad this thread helped at least one person to avoid a very painful mistake!

Hello,
Idk it depends what type of people they are. Idk  them so cannot say. My Jordanian husband and his family has always been very respectful to me, but i also have been. If she is having a long distance relationship she might not get caught unless she has friends or family members close by where she lives and they may see it or if she mentions anything. She can get an std or yeast infections that will be a problem!. I have never cheated on my husband.  But she should be careful.

oooh, this subject is enough discussed, as i think, right?

Yes, it has. I did not not have a great outcome. My Jordanian husband did lie promising; he would stop smoking, cause he is a heavy smoker and i warned him about it. So he did but then startes amoking again.  I should of known better. Then i told him since your a muslim, i dont want you to marry again. He said he wouldn't but then mentioned it after we married. He was a good man in the beginning but then he changed, it just felt that he didnt care about me only to come here to Canada and his family is great but i cannot speak arabic. I have given up on this. I just want a divorce. He is taking his time. I should of never married him.

You might believe me; this will happen even if you married a Canadian man... everything is in changing

Mohdq, he couldn't have a second wife in Canada :)

Hi,
Perhaps you're right, but this is my case. It may not be for everyone. Unfortunately it did happen to me. If i married in canada i would probably have more time to get to know him. My opinion now is; not to get married period.
Some men do change afterwards i dont want to get migraines because of the way things go after marriage.  Just my unfortunate experience.

Kip98 :

Mohdq, he couldn't have a second wife in Canada :)

but he can get more than one girlfriends  ;)

MJ lopez :

Hi,
Perhaps you're right, but this is my case. It may not be for everyone. Unfortunately it did happen to me. If i married in canada i would probably have more time to get to know him. My opinion now is; not to get married period.
Some men do change afterwards i dont want to get migraines because of the way things go after marriage.  Just my unfortunate experience.

yes, you just you can estimate your situation your relationship to him. But i can advise you to give this relationship another chance, maybe it goes then on the right way....
good luck

As he could in Jordan too Mohd, lol!  Don't worry, I don't have anything against Jordanian men, after all I am married to a wonderful one! :)  But as you know, not all of them are good.  We foreigners don't have the social network here in Jordan to really get the scoop on them before we get married.  I also think some men are in love with the idea of having a foreign wife, until the find out what a pain in the rear we are :)

Well, even if we are a pain in the rear this is a risk they are willing to take. Then deal with it, work on it or dont even bother to marry. They should be willing to accommodate us and so should we of course.  Just like amy other relationship but it happens to some of us.

MJ, this is a big cultural difference between Jordan and western culture.  Pretty much here the husbands opinion is the final word on anything.  If a wife is telling him he should do this or that is is an insult to his manhood.  Of course he may value her opinion, but to be told to do something, even if it's in his own interest just doesn't fly.  Any pretty much they all smoke here.  Somehow they don't believe it's bad (and yet my diet coke apparently will kill me, eyeroll).  There's just a lot of differences.

Omg, kip98 it is unbelievable how much they smoke on a daily basis. It is ridiculous how they can think and feel absolutely nothing about it. Because the generation continues in cycles it will never stop. Someone should start being a mentor to all of them. I was very shocked by seing a big cloud in Jordan of smoke.  So very disappointed. My husband doesn't understand either. He promised and broke it cause i made it very clear. He quit but then started again.  I dont think i can belive a smoker again.  Its even worst if you marry.
Anyway kip98 i am not goin to continue this relationship it is done. He has not been interested in contacting me for quite a bit now. He is a lier and i should of known better. Thank-you for your feedback

Best of luck to you MJ.  If it's not working and it's making you stressed and upset, it is best to just move on I agree.  If he is not contacting you and talked about marrying again it's pretty much over anyway.  I guess on the bright side, you found out before you brought him there.

Thank you kip98. I just need some support and nice words. I am glad too that i found out ahead of time.

You're not the first nor the last person this has happened to.  You tried, you put your heart into something and it didn't work out.  You didn't do anything wrong.  Pick yourself up, stand tall and move on with a happy life.  Sometimes we want something to work so bad that we rush into things, this could be true for the both of you.  Marriage is hard, and 100 times harder when different cultures and long distances separate two people.  Best of luck to you in the future.

Kip98 :

As he could in Jordan too Mohd, lol!  Don't worry, I don't have anything against Jordanian men, after all I am married to a wonderful one! :)  But as you know, not all of them are good.  We foreigners don't have the social network here in Jordan to really get the scoop on them before we get married.  I also think some men are in love with the idea of having a foreign wife, until the find out what a pain in the rear we are :)

Are we talking here about the man in general or Jordanian man? In any cases, I am aware that our society has many social problems, but we, as scientists, can’t change all of them suddenly, it takes time.  Patience here plays a good role.

In any way, I think every society has own problems, but the clever is, who try to change....

Wish all of you a best residence in my country

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