Life as a female expat in Malaysia

Hi,

This is a very interesting topic you have initiated.
As I am an expat working here and my wife who use to be a working women in India, now all of sudden she's completely staying at home .

I am still exploring the positive aspects about being a female and non working expat wife...….
As far as safety is concerned , I feel it's more or less directly related with how you carry yourself.... whom and where you are connecting to a new person for socialization...

As a male working expat..am still figuring out something for my wife to keep her engaged so that she doesn't start feeling boredom of sitting idle at home all day....

In nutshell....it's not easy for a female expat female to keep herself engaged/motivated ...that too when she has been a working lady in back home.

Am also wondering the positive aspects...if you can share that will be better...

The trailing spouse syndrome is widely experienced around the world but at least in Malaysia if the woman can get a job offer, she can exchange her Dependent Pass for an Employment Pass. But with so few professional areas open to foreigners (i.e. if a Malaysian can do the job foreigners wont be employed).

Generally speaking, women are usually viewed as being under the control of their husbands and multi-generation families are the norm. For example, I'm a widow and no-one can understand I live alone because in their minds my son or daughter should now be taking care of me...... Luckily times have moved on here to a certain extent and official forms that required husband etc. signature have been updated. The issue extends to my social life, where people don't quite understand that I go to my Club alone and sit quite happily there.  I really don't need male company and don't have a chaperone or lady companion - so this confuses people.

Then there is the question of alcohol. This is a natural part of socialising where I come from, but that said, walking into a pub alone would probably cause some raised eyebrows in some areas back home. In fact, being a lone woman seems in Malaysia to cause all sorts of issues as its definitely "outside the box". Next comes the bad associations, i.e. Western women are "easy" and this very incorrect impression makes us the target of unwanted references and approaches. There are of course some ladies that live up to expectations, but it certainly is not a good idea in Malaysia as gossip is absolutely rife.........

Luckily there are a lot of women's groups in KL area and Facebook Groups in Penang. So women can meet others and form friendships quite easily. Retirees find it easiest and foreign women of working age without children in KL have not such a lot of opportunities, although Indian expats can most easily link in, as long as they are not too snooty about whether its North or South Indians.

Expat women do need to adjust their expectations when living in Malaysia and being dependent on their husbands is sometimes a hard return. Single expats definitely do best in Malaysia. There are some social events for expats (internations and The expat Group - TEG) The age group of IN quite low i.e. under 40. TEG attracts more mature guests. The frustrating thing is that eating, drinking and talking are almost the only socialising  opportunities - which can get boring after a while. Generally speaking, Malaysia is not ideal for many expats but retirees thrive here.

One last issue is "Visa Hunters". Malaysia is a much sought-after destination so there are plenty of fake love stories going on..... Being a widow, some people think I am a prime target to be "taken over" by a man to run my life (and spend my money or have legal rights to it) ....... no thank you (on both accounts).

I am a female expat in Malaysia for 5.5 years now. Malaysia is a good place to live.

I cant say Malaysia is completely safe for women. But it is safer than many other countries in the world.

People definitely look at me like"what are you doing here all alone by yourself". But then i got used to them.

Regarding social networking for women, you got to be safe. Start with your work circle, friends of friends.. and completely NO strangers. I have met some really wierd strangers who wants to pile on you.

Malaysians are really friendly and helpful. Any kind of help you need, stick to work colleagues or neighbours.

Hi,

Malaysia is one of the good and safe countries for women's expat. Most of the locals are friendly. Avoid total strangers.

There are many expat groups on facebook that you can join and from there you can get in loop to your community people as well to contact over Whatsapp group and then go for meet ups.

I personally like KL, as most of the women work here, you can find many local malay ladies also working independently.

Dear Sir,

Glad to read that you are taking efforts to know how you can take care of your partner by finding out various activities in a social life in Malaysia. I am not there yet, but such situations can arise to anyone at any point in time and need not be for a specific country. We all move around as and how life takes us. One of the best thing about being in a new place is to explore and enjoy the beauty of the place. Travelling safely and connecting with people will make you a more matured person. It could be a temple or a church. And also every place offers so many new activities and skills to learn. What's the point of being in a new place and not being one among them? Where there is a will there is a way. A message to your wife: "If I am every in this situation, I will finish all the work at home and just get out of home and explore the place, people as much as possible, learn new skills, pick up that long waiting hobby and so on and so forth. We can't wait for the world to come and get us out, we need to go out to explore the world, and meet wonderful people. I am sure, when you look back you will be proud of this phase…So go out and grab the life 😊"

Good one! All the best for your stay

I just found this discussion. I am a Ghanaian who just moved to Malaysia with my husband. I can relate to some of the concerns raised above
I used to work in a government sector, I was running an NGO that I founded and also taking a master's degree abroad at the same time. I was super busy, then I moved here with my husband because of his work. I was looking for more challenges in my professional career and supported our move here. Unfortunately, we came here during the MCO, FCO etc, it was very difficult meeting people. Fast forward,  lockdown protocols were removed , now we are beginning to enjoy the rich culture of Malaysia. We have so far visited many states. As an expat wife, it is difficult to find a job or even internship opportunities. I was so worried about my unemployment  and also because I am now totally dependent on my husband. To kill boredomness,
I started learning a new skill in sewing because I had always wanted to launch a fashion social enterprise in my country. I bought a sewing machine started learning how to sew from YouTube videos. I have made lot of progress. I made a business plan with my project timeline s and hope to launch my business in December 2022.
In addition, I enrolled in Alliance Francaise to study French, there I made new friends.
I find Internations as a good social network, I made some good friends from there.

As a black woman, I get a lot of calls on the street from men, I don't know what they are thinking.
Other people who approach me are just curious, they want to know about my culture, my hair etc which is ok by me.

I often organise potluck activities in my home and invite all the new friends I have made , so try Ghanaian food.

I am still applying to companies for internship or job offers.
Please feel free to contact me if you want to connect.

Cheers,
Bee

Hi Bee

My name is Rumbie I am from Zimbabwe a working expat. I am glad to know that you are making new friends and adjusting to life in Malaysia.  I stay in the heart of Kuala Lumpur and wanted to let you know if you are interested in hiking I could take you to some trails 😊

Hello Rumbie,
It is a pleasure to meet you. I love hiking and have heard about some good  hiking trails which are on my to-do-list.
I also live in KL, sending you my number so we can have a chat and meet.
Cheers
Bee

Hi
I've just seen this msg .. am glad you're here.
Ça fait plaisir tu parles Français aussi ...
Me too i like to sing .. hope we can meet