Dealing with loneliness in Bulgaria

Hi,
Bulgarian people are quite open and easygoing, they like to communicate and to have fun. My advice is - find some groups on social media for expats in Bulgaria, ***
Also, you can search for groups and social gatherings in Sofia. Most young people speak decent English, so you will be able to communicate.
If you want to stay informed, here is a website for Bulgarian news in English:
https://www.euscoop.com/en/
Recent events can give you a lot of topics to talk about.
I will also recommend joining some club for sport or learning - you will meet people with the same interests as yours. Don't worry, you will find friends here

I have never been lonely in Bulgaria.  I have many friends already.  The Bulgarian people are very friendly.

I am not a wealthy person but i am generous.

So there are many things that you can do to stop lonesomeness by giving.

If you are driving and you see someone that has broken down at the side of the road, stop and ask if they need help.  Even if your language skills are not good, maybe they just need to use your phone... or need a lift to a gas station to get petrol.

In my village there are many old people. I think the pension for old people is poor. I make traditional English food like Cornish Pasty or Pork Pie, i then go and offer them to my neighbours. They are a gift.

When i first came to Bulgaria i rented property.  One property had a washing machine but the washing machine did not work.  So i fixed it.  I had to buy some parts...  but i needed to use it.  Now i am friends with the owners of the apartment that i rented.  Now i have a house of my own they come and visit me.
They live in the City and they do not have a garden.  My house is 30min drive from the City so i have given them some land to use to grow their own food for their young child.  It works well because i have to go to England often to check and care for my elderly parent.  It is good to know that they go to the house and water the garden when i am not around.  I am happy they have fresh food and that the land is being worked.  They take the plums from my 4 plum trees and make rakia.
They give me some rakia but i drink only a little. I am happy the fruit is used and does not go to waste. Also the house looks smart with a well kept garden.  That is good for me, good for them and also makes the village look good.

If i am at a bus station and i see someone who is picking up cigarette buts from the floor, i will go and give them a cigarette.  It is only a small gesture. However, you do not know... maybe they are a good person and just down on their luck.

I think everyone has some skills they can offer others.   This builds friendship and is good for community.  When you are generous (even if you only give time), you will never be lonely.  It will also help you learn the language and culture.

I agree you are never lonely in Bulgaria, I have an apartment and used to only visit a few times a year but quickly felt like I had never been away because of the friendliness of the Bulgarian people.
I am also not rich but as Bulgarians are nearly all quite poor, it is easy to treat them in some way or another, without being patronizing.
I would like to ask you for some advice as I am now retired and will be spending much more time at my apartment, and thinking of getting a long term residence card, do you have any advice on health programs.
I always try to live by this rule "It's nice to be important but more important to be nice"
Take care
Dezza

We came here in January 2016, and ever since we are looking for a place to meet other expats. We tried Facebook, car booth sales, we chatted up people in shops, markets or at the veterinary - apparently nobody is interested in having a little contact. We do not need somebody around every day, a casual meeting in a pub or cafe in Chirpan or Stara Zagora once or twice a month would suit us perfectly. Just to talk to some people, exchange some news (or gossips), share some experience - so far we did not succeed in finding any group or location offering a possibility. It is really sad!

Hi, every Tuesday, 12:00 we have a meeting of German expats in Burgas, in a cafe.
You might consider a trip to the seaside :-)
Reiner

Hi everyone,

Thank you for your contribution.

@ babajaga > For your meet up, i invite you to create an event in the events in Burgas section, you only need to give the details on the location, the date and the time and insert the necessary details on the event.
You can send invitations to the expats living in Burgas as well .

Thanks,

Priscilla
Expat.com team

Hello Reiner, we are living Close to Stara Zagora, about 200 Km from Burgas, but we consider this a good opportunity to have a look at the seaside. I cannot promise any fix date we show up, because we have at the moment work being done at our house. But if you could post Name and address of the cafe, we certsinly will give it a try! By the way, my wife is belgian, I am german national. Danke und viele Grüße!

Hi. I have noticed that if you live in a small town in Bulgaria making social connections and new friends can be hard. Making friends is easier if you live in a bigger city like Sofia Plovdiv or Starazagora. If you live in a small town I advise becoming a member of internet groups for expats in the bigger cities. I usually just take a bus to Plovdiv and can socialize. Now my friends in Plovdiv want to see the town where I live.

Hi George. My name is Sharon and I moved to Bulgaria 2 years ago. Feel free to give me a shout out. I live in Haskovo but enjoy taking busrides to different cities on my days off.



Sharon

Hi
My name is Nigel I moved to Opan in March this year and would be interested in meeting new people . Please feel free to message me and arrange.

Expat Meeting, every week:
Cafe Kalina Burgas
Burgas, bul. Stefan Stambolov 60
Tuesday, 12:00
(Use goggle search for "Cafe Kalina Burgas" for a map)

Hello Sharon, we live in Malko Tranovo, 15 Km from Chirpan and 25 Km from Stara Zagora. Haskovo is about one hour by car from us - not because of the distance but the road condition  . We know well, because Christiane had been to the Dentist in Haskovo. Anyway, from your posting I guess that you have a Job. So if on one of your free days you feel in the mood to pay us a visit or we could meet somewhere, just give us a ring or write a mail (on FB I am blocked, again, for 30 days. So much about freedom of speech).*** Have a nice Weekend!

This is great. I will see if I can take the bus up there from Haskovo on Tuesdays to make it for the meetings.  Thanks for this update.


Sharon

Hi Joe!

Thanks so much for the shout out. Yes I work online as an English language teacher and travel a lot as I am able to take my work with me. I would love to meet you. Thank you for the invitation. I will add your contact details.
Look forward to meeting you soon.


Sharon

Welcome to Bulgaria Nigel. Let me know if you have any questions or need advice. I have been in Bulgaria for 2 years.

Hi Sharon Melissa
Thanks for the offer of advice good to know.
Have had a busy first 3 months, changing the car to BG plates mot insurance etc, obtaining 5 year ID card, sorting out a large garden and starting on house etc.
I see from your posts that you teach English online how's your Bulgarian are you of a standard that you could give lessons ?
Im the only English speaker in my village of Opan near Stara Zagora and its a struggle thank God for Google translate.
Villagers are so well coming and friendly really quite touching.
Again thanks for your reply
Nigel

Hi Nigel. Thanks for the reply. I actually teach English online to students around western Europe Asia Russia ...It might sound funny but my teaching qualifications requires that we do not use the learner`s first language to teach English so that lessons are more like immersion. It is funny again that evnthough I live in Bulgaria I don`t work at  a Bulgarian establishment and I don`t teach Bulgarian citizens. My online company is foreign with various branches all over the world. It`s great that you will be getting a 5 year ID card and not have to renew a 1 year card 5 times which is the case for a lot of people. Also congrats on the new house. I`m quite excited as I have been offered a temporary pet sitting position in Plovdiv. It will give me the chance to meet a lot of new people. How do you spend your free time in BG?


Sharon

Hi Sharon
It sounds as though your TEFL qualified?
As for my free time Im currently recovering from having my brother and 2 nephews over for a week or so too much booze too much sightseeing and a weekend in Sunny Beach. ( I know but my nephews are 21 and 24 both students so it had to be done!!!)
Normally quite boring i have made a Bulgarian friend whose wife worked in England so she speaks good English and we occasionally go out for a meal in Stara Zagora where they live I visit the village bar a couple of times per week more for the social aspects although being the only English speaker means that is quite limited.
As I mentioned earlier the garden and house take up a lot of my time which tires me out so  evenings are mainly spent chilling and recovering.
I would like to see more of Bulgaria but being single (divorced) its not the same sightseeing etc.
The fact that you house sit for pets is of interest as I have two old dogs 16 and 14 too old to kennel and my mother is seriously ill with cancer and I may have to go back to England at short notice so let me know if your interested in house sitting wifi etc is connected so work would not be a problem.
Best Regards Nigel

Hi Nigel. Sorry to hear about your  mothers illness. Do let me know and if I happen to be available I would be happy to help out. It is great that you have had some good company and have been doing some good sightseeing. Booze is good in Bulgaria. My favorite is Rakia. Stay in touch.



Sharon

@ Nigel Simcox and Sharon Melissa >

I invite you both to continue this conversation in private as we are drifting a little bit off topic here.

@ everyone > Can we go back to the main subject of this thread? the title is " Dealing with loneliness in Bulgaria".

Thank you,

Priscilla
Expat.com team

Hi Piscilla. Thank you for the reminder. Is there an option for continuing private chat? I tried but every time I do it goes public. I appreciate any advice.

Regards,
Sharon

Hi Priscilla
DITTO HOW DO YOU CONTINUE A CHAT IN PRIVATE?

I discovered you go to the person`s profile and you select the SEND MESSAGE option from their profil.



Sharon

How can anyone be lonely in bulgaria?

Cafés and clubs abound.

Which village?

Thanks for sharing John.

I currently live on my own in Wales, and am hoping to move to Bulgaria in the next year. I don't speak the language (BG nor Welsh lol), but I'm equally as happy with my own company as with others.

I won't be able to afford a renovated place, but have most of the building skills needed to do the work myself on an older run down place, so that'll keep me well occupied and I think as long as you have plenty to do, working on your place, hobbies, growing food, etc., loneliness shouldn't be that much of a problem.

Maybe it's just me (I've lived on my own a lot), or maybe it's not such an issue for older people, I don't know? I guess it's harder for younger people as they socialise a lot more?

Lots of good advice and offers from others on this thread though.

Hi, we are a belgian (wife) / german (me) couple, living in Malko Tranovo about 25 Km from Stara Zagora.We would be pleased to meet you, because social life here is a little restricted. So when you come over, please tell where you put up camp!

Hi Priscilla, not sure if this will be public or private, i just hit reply.

thank you for reaching out.

i plan to relocate to BG january 2019.

i have two bulgarian friends and plan to increase my limited bulgarian to a conversational level quickly.

i probably will be living about 30 miles outside sofia, so making contacts will be a good thing.

thanks again.

Thank you for the link, really Interesting site.

Hi

It can be difficult finding the right kind of ex pats to fit your needs.  If you have a particular interest then try your voice on social media platforms (facebook in this case) that are dedicated to your hobby.  An example if you are a grower then Seed Swap Bulgaria or Beautiful Gardens Bulgaria.  I am not in your area but Living in Bulgaria is a fine site, well run, informative and covering all of Bulgaria. 

Get a group together to learn Bulgarian.  There are teachers who will happily come to a location to teach small groups of ex pats.  It 's a great way to kill 2 birds with 1 stone.  In our area we pay 10 leva per person in a group of 3 or more, with a qualified teacher.

I think it is safe to say some ex pats have had less than positive experiences with other ex pats so there may be reticence to return interest. It is also true that as you integrate into life in Bulgaria you will follow 1 of 2 roads; integrate predominantly with the Bulgarian community or predominantly with the ex pat community.  Neither better than the other just different.

I found that coming into contact with other newbies or recent newbies was a great way to network information with folks in the same position.  Keep going on the forums and social media, watch out for events (Bootsales and Tabletops on Facebook list events), that ex pats are likely to attend.

And if you're feeling really brave go and spend some time with the pensioners in your local pensioners club.  It is an absolute riot and that you don't speak the language will make not an iota of difference.

Small steps and all that

I have to agree with the pensioners and language bit. When my father came to visit me, he would spend hours with my husband's uncle and friends, smoking and drinking, not caring at all that they were speaking two separate languages.

Thanks Carter I will try the sites you suggest, I am just getting over the death of my husband, we were married for 46 years but been a couple for 50 years, so it's taking some getting used to as I have never lived alone.

I do have 2 lovely little dogs, they help a lot,.  My village is very quiet,  which is how we wanted it, In the summer it's fine I have a lovely neighbour, and a friend who rescues dogs which I help her with, I look after 5 dogs apart from my own 2, feeding and taking them for walks etc. 

The winters get lonely when the snow is deep and you can't get out much, most of the people in my village have apartments in Varna that they go to in the winter, there is only one other English speaking couple here and we meet up once a week usually. 

This year I am thinking of maybe going back to U.K. for Jan. and Feb, but I worry about the dogs, my own 2 will be staying with friends , the others will have food given but not let off their chains which is hard for me to think of , although almost all of the village dogs are never let off Or taken for a walk, it's a hard life for dogs in Bulgaria.

Does anyone know somewhere in Varna to meet people?  I'm not a big drinker and I don't smoke, the local mehana is full of men doing this.

Hi Thanks for sharing this link really helpful to know what is going on in Bulgaria.

Hi

This is an important subject and Thank you for bringing this up. My husband and I found it very difficult to work thinks out when we first moved to Bulgaria 2004 ( things were very different then) But there are some superb people out there, waiting for you to meet them. Most people  will not understand about loneliness until they experience it themselves, it can lead to depression. My husband and I had to return to the Uk a few years ago but we still go to our home regularly in Malko Tarnovo  work permitting. 
My husband was most affected as I am the one who seems to make friends easily , bless him he shut himself away for months when I had to go back to the Uk first without him. We did not realize his loneliness lead to his depression. I know people in our small town tried to talk to him but he was already in this bubble by then and without me there to talk to he found it extremely hard.
People need people !! whether for a short time or long time we all need people in our lives, talking , laughing and yes Gossiping and having a good old moan  its good for us all to off load.

We have found friend in shopping malls, out for walks in to our mountains, even at the boarder so sometimes you will find friends in unusual places if you put your selves out there.

I have also made cakes and pastries and handed them out for pressies and guess what people like different foods. People may then bring you something nice like the largest mushrooms I have ever seen just because they wanted to say Thank you , or Walnuts from there trees and then you strike up or be it limited conversation. One funny thing that happened to us on our first day back in 2004 we went to out local shop to buy some eggs.... how do you ask for eggs in Bulgarian and as a typical English person yes I said EGGS !!! louder and louder expecting them to understand me if I shouted ( how naive of me ) until I thought act it out so Yes  dear readers I did the actions of a chicken laying an egg ( OMG ) I couldn't believe it my husband was crying with laughter, the shop assistant was an older lady very straight faced and yes I also had her laughing and to this day when I go back to that shop, the shop lady always has a little giggle and loves saying the word eggs to me . But do you know what it started people wanting to talk to me and show me things and involve both of us.
Please do not be lonely enjoy what you do, meet people say "hello" so that people know you are friendly and approachable  and try to over come any fears. I only wish we could be there more to meet all of you very brave people that have taken the plunge to live in Bulgaria.

But never say never!!!!!!

Hi

In the 2nd year of our move the locals began to put pressure on us to attend the community events.  something we had not managed in the first year.  We were renovating a derelict house and we had such a rush to get it watertight that first year. I was also suffering with a bit of depression in the aftermath of early retirement I had an adjustment period where I got kind of lost. And honestly, we were firghtened to death of making the plunge.   However I was forced to attend the Babin Den, a celebration of the work of the midwives and women in a village. I managed to get 2 other ex pat women to join me. What an experience!  I have never, even as a lifelong feminist, felt such absolute camaraderie.  What dancing, what games, good food and if you fancy a drink that is ok.  Thereafter we attended the wine festival as a couple and any other event running in the evening.  This tiny step into integration (scary as it was) was the breakthrough we'd both needed to take the plunge.  My OH speaks no Bulgarian and at the time mine was limited.  It made not an iota of difference.  Everyone shared their food with us and vica versa.  Everyone danced either in groups or as couples. often women with women so that no one sits as a gooseberry.

Since then I have joined the villages Folk Dancing group.  I started once a week and was absolutely delighted and terrified when they asked me to perform with them at the national folk festival in our village.  I now practice with them 3 times a week.  It has bought my Bulgarian on in leaps and bounds.  There is also a singing club, a pensioners club, a small library and Mums and toddlers group .  I knew nothing of these activities because, as I realise now, in the hustle and bustle of settling our only intteraction was with our lovely immediate neighbours and the villages shops.  Suddenly the village and it's activities opened up to us. 

And I think an interesting point I have since learned is that our fellow villagers had the following questions for me about ex pat living.

1 Why don't many grow their own food?  Even if economically stable, it seems everyone in the village grows and we certainly do.

2 They wished they were better able to communicate with us. That really put the need to learn the language into perspective.  That my fellow villages felt the responsibility of communicating with us!

3 Why do we make our places into little England?  This is more in wonder that some ex pats ignore advice on building/insulating/growing etc when they are better able to explain how the weather affects almost everything in Bulgaria.

4 Why did we want to live in Bulgaria?  Many families have members living abroad and seem to be in awe of life abroad.  I try to explain that the quietitude, the beauty and the lifestyle they live in Bulgaria is a life richer than any financial sum

What do they think of us overall?  They love the fact that we've chosen their country to make our homes.  They are always so especially pleased with attempts at speaking the language, but even more so if that small step leads to further language learning.  Community is so important in villages and they are happy to learn different things and to exchange their expertise.

So I suppose the point is, take the plunge into integrating into the community.  You will soon see how many things you have in common and hold dear.  It is worth the effort.  It made it easier for me to find ex pats who were also in the process of active intergration.  It gave me a whole new range of topics to explore.

And finally it has taken 2 and a half years to reach these conclusions.  So give yourself time to adjust and be kind to yourselves

Corner,

I really enjoyed reading your post, your village sounds amazing,  I would love to join a folk dancing group, I always join in with th ‘hora' at the babenden and ladies day celebrations it's great fun. It sounds like you're really enjoying life in Bulgaria.  Good for you!

Oops so sorry I keep getting your name wrong😔