Intercultural relationships in France

Hello,

We invite you to share some fun anecdotes and information regarding intercultural marriages and relationships in France. This will provide some insight to current and future expats regarding relationship norms in mixed relationships and marriages in France.

What are some of the best things about being in an intercultural relationship/marriage?

What are some challenges that you have faced or are currently facing? How do you address them?

Are intercultural relationships/marriages common and accepted in France?

What are the benefits to being in an intercultural relationship/marriage?

Do you have any fun or interesting anecdotes to share regarding dating norms and rules for intercultural relationships/marriages?

Thank you for sharing your experience,

Priscilla

Hi, relationships mumm well I have been in France for 7 years 3 with my long time partner who was English, who decided France wasn't for him ,  so I  decided to go on some French dating sites , as I didn't want to be on my own  anymore , after kissing meny frogs I found what I thought was a prefect man 52 right age 'divorced,  good  job and most importantly spoke very good English ,downside he lived in Lyon ,  so I arranged to meet him in Lille  where he was for the weekend with work , this was last September, and for me me it as love at first sight , he was gorgeous typically French very confident  and , know what he wanted ,  after a few weekends  meeting like this we decided it  was time for me to go to Lyon and meet his family, all will be fine he said thay all speak English , and so it was for the first two visits by this time I had decided to move to Lyon to be with him, more work lots going on perfect, what no one told me was that his ex wife would always come first  very common in France , I now know , thay soon gave up speaking English , and French men are very selfish , vain and blunt to the point of hurting, so after 5 perfect months of I thought was  love both ways , he suddenly said this isn't me , sometimes you say things . I don't know what I want it isn't you its me , just like that , so are there a lot of difference s dating a French guy , yes there are , thay have a totally different  view on  love ,thay will tell you exactly what thay want and don't want  sex wise,should I go there again most definitely not , Helen

France is a very different country from UK or USA . They don't date, so it's really a very French custom as to how they manage.
Bless you for trying and then learning! I think I like the UK guy the best. At least he was smart and made a good decisions to get out of France.

Americans are all for individuality, rugged individualism and marriage.Americans pride themselves on doing  being independent, making money & getting married.

The French rely falsely on "Mother France" which sooner or later they will find they cannot rely on in the coming collapse. They end up with little and their lives are extremely limited. Their arrogance is quite striking since they have nothing. They constantly talk about food and restaurants. I shake my head when I look at how porky & fat & out of shape  they have all become.

French men have a horrible habit of trying to kiss me on the mouth.
To them, this means if I kiss you, you are my girlfriend. To me, it means nothing but a one sided " I kissed you and now you are my territory." I am not looking to be anyone's territory. I want only a human relationship.

The difficulty in any French relationship are the laws in France.
The state has their hands in your pockets, so you cannot decide on how you want to arrange your relationship, every aspect to the French government  is a "charge" to be extracted.

Like the UK fella who left France, Americans like me have little to no interest in dating anyone who is French. I want a manly man, not a w**** who can't commit or prefers his ex-wife. I prefer anyone from any other country outside of any French territorty.

Bless your good sense Helen!

So many cliche in what you'are all saying :O

It's not because you had bad experience with a french man that we are all the same...

To answer some of your questions, in France, intercultural relationship or marriage is something normal. I don't say that it's common, but no one will judge you because of this. It's totally accepted, because we are all human and we all do what we want ! (For 4 or 5 years now, gay marriage is legal in France and damn it's NORMAL !)

Wish you the best for the future ! And don't forget that you can find a*** everywhere, in france, or in UK/US/etc ;)

No idea , because I don't have girlfriend , and I am single , I like to live along . I have some Bussiness related friends . So we talk for Bussines , every day we just asked every one, your family and every think is good that's it. Talk to me something about you , its long time every time you asked so many questions .  By Roni .

I'm from the Caribbean and my husband is French, the first thing I noticed as different was how much friends are placed on a higher rung than family, I grew up with family being the backbone of your life, my family is everything to me but it wasn't so here.
Family is spread far and wide and friends take the place of family to the point where my son is introduced to friends as family which was confusing to him since I had already told him he had this much uncles and aunts.

Get-togethers are another thing which baffled me, back home we spend the day together and go home at night exactly at 11 pm, not so here, festivities start around 9 and you don't go home till 2-4 am. I makes me think back to when we had a get together back home on the Islands and my husband spent all morning getting ready he missed the whole thing lol, there was barely any food left and most of the family had left to go back home, who knew that something that small could be so different.

Needless to say, some adjusting had to be made, I went to more get-togethers but we left early when I felt burned out, I became closer to his friends and my son calls my best friends his uncles as well, our son's family has grown. It still bothers me that we really don't have any family nearby as my our son is an only child and doesn't make friends easily.

Based on my experienced with my 3 years relationship with my bf is that he is very vocal and Frank. One thing I like very much with my French bf is that he is very simple and loving bf even though we are in long distance relationship since three years but his presence is always there for me. He is thoughtful and God fearing French man. He always give encouragement to me whenever I feel so down. French people are generous also but in important things only.I like thier way like that they will not abused by other people. (My experienced only)

I have been married to a French woman (1st 35 years of her life in Paris) for nearly 20 years.  She swore she would NEVER marry an American!  I am 10th generation American.  So, already there was a problem.  We argued a lot in the beginning.  But I have lived in several countries and speak several languages, so I have grown adept at adapting to cultural differences.

What I finally figured out is that the French love to discuss--just about any topic.  But for them that means there has to be two different viewpoints.  So, if you say the Italians are crazy, the French person you are talking to is pretty much required to take the opposite point of view--otherwise, how can you have a fruitful discussion?  He or she will say no, the Italians are very practical and intelligent.  Any discussion becomes a debate.

For an American (who prefers to talk with people who agree) this can be frustrating.  Every discussion becomes an argument.  Satisfying for a French person, but painful for an American.  What do I do now that I know?  I either accept the way it is, or I change the subject.  There is no point in getting annoyed.  Actually, the French probably have it right.  What can you get out of discussing a topic that everyone agrees with?

This is only one in a relatively long list of French cultural traits that irritate Americans.  It's probably almost as long as the American cultural traits that irritate the French.

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