Moving to KL from US

Hi and welcome on the forum Ryan

I moved your message on the Kuala Lumpur forum for better visibility I hope you will make many new contacts before you move!

Regards
Armand

Hi there !! i hope u will enjoy ur stay ... just PM me if you have any enquiries

Hi I'm in kl from august as I'll be working there. I'll pm you

Can totally understand about this big of a relocation across the Pacific, since I myself have done that. It's not easy to start anew in an alien environment. I spent about three years in Minnesota, and survived through that with help from my own family here and American family friends. Well, if you need any help, just let me know. But I have to say, I know not many American expats in KL.

Your relocation to KL sort of came to me (a Malaysian) as a surprise, because most people would opt for Singapore instead. Haha!

All the best! Enjoy your stay in Malaysia -- SOON!

P.L. Liew wrote:

Can totally understand about this big of a relocation across the Pacific, since I myself have done that. It's not easy to start anew in an alien environment. I spent about three years in Minnesota, and survived through that with help from my own family here and American family friends. Well, if you need any help, just let me know. But I have to say, I know not many American expats in KL.

Your relocation to KL sort of came to me (a Malaysian) as a surprise, because most people would opt for Singapore instead. Haha!

All the best! Enjoy your stay in Malaysia -- SOON!

Sound like ur scarying him away!! hahaha

Sue Anne I agree! rather scary. Singapore is ok but rather dull in my opinion vs KL. And Kl food is far better !

Nemodot wrote:

Sue Anne I agree! rather scary. Singapore is ok but rather dull in my opinion vs KL. And Kl food is far better !

Sue Anne wrote:

Sound like ur scarying him away!! hahaha

Haha! I was just being honest and frank about my opinion. Not scaring, but it's a fact that relocation across half the globe has never been easy, especially when you're moving around all alone. I'm sure most of you here can understand how this feels like, right? Haha!

Yup. Singapore is VERY crowded for such a small country. KL food always rocks!

"Culture shock" does depend on the individual, and I think SE asians get it worse coming to the west than westerners to SE Asia. When I first did it I loved it and never was homesick! But I loved the food, the weather the people etc and I knew that already.

What depressed me was being back in wet old London! Ok great night life (if you are a billionaire) and lovely to look at (but unless a billionaire try actually getting a nice place to live).

A Malaysian women I know loved USA as she was the "hot asian chick" with a big queue of bfs and in KL? The "fat chick"   (as size 10 = thin in west enormous if Chinese Malaysian lol). So she loved the USA! For western males SE asia is heaven on Earth (x2!) but for western females? Some I know liked it, some hated it as they remained single.

And there is rascism. Lots of Malaysian Indians love London as you are judged by what you can do. Not the colour of your skin. So they generally prefer London - I met quite a few - and that is despite the poor food here.

So many factors effect one's feelings towards a country.

Nemodot wrote:

"Culture shock" does depend on the individual, and I think SE asians get it worse coming to the west than westerners to SE Asia. When I first did it I loved it and never was homesick! But I loved the food, the weather the people etc and I knew that already.

What depressed me was being back in wet old London! Ok great night life (if you are a billionaire) and lovely to look at (but unless a billionaire try actually getting a nice place to live).

A Malaysian women I know loved USA as she was the "hot asian chick" with a big queue of bfs and in KL? The "fat chick"   (as size 10 = thin in west enormous if Chinese Malaysian lol). So she loved the USA! For western males SE asia is heaven on Earth (x2!) but for western females? Some I know liked it, some hated it as they remained single.

And there is rascism. Lots of Malaysian Indians love London as you are judged by what you can do. Not the colour of your skin. So they generally prefer London - I met quite a few - and that is despite the poor food here.

So many factors effect one's feelings towards a country.

Your observation made me laugh real hard! Haha!

Oh, yes. Since young, I've been fascinated by the U.S., and that was why I chose to pursue my undergrad education there for about three years. During my first six months there, I went through depression and severe culture shock despite having certain degree of understanding of American culture, which, as portrayed by the mass media, later on came to me as untrue. How naive I was. Haha! Well, those three years spent in the States were worth it! I learned a lot.

Glad that you enjoyed your stay in SEA. Hope you'll be able to rekindle your joy in KL once you've returned here.

About sizes, heights and whatnot, in the States, I was considered average in height and somewhat thin. Back in Malaysia? Tall among the local ladies, and average in size. I heard ya! That's a huge cultural difference in terms of perception on what's beauty. Haha! On my trip down in Atlanta, GA, I was told the Africans in the U.S. have a rather different notion of how a beautiful lady should look like, compared to other ethnic groups and races.

Definitely, a myriad factors affect the way we look at each culture and country. That's why I like getting to know people of different cultures. My American family friends have helped me a lot in that sense. I'm thankful for that.

P.L. Liew wrote:

Nemodot wrote:

"Culture shock" does depend on the individual, and I think SE asians get it worse coming to the west than westerners to SE Asia. When I first did it I loved it and never was homesick! But I loved the food, the weather the people etc and I knew that already.

What depressed me was being back in wet old London! Ok great night life (if you are a billionaire) and lovely to look at (but unless a billionaire try actually getting a nice place to live).

A Malaysian women I know loved USA as she was the "hot asian chick" with a big queue of bfs and in KL? The "fat chick"   (as size 10 = thin in west enormous if Chinese Malaysian lol). So she loved the USA! For western males SE asia is heaven on Earth (x2!) but for western females? Some I know liked it, some hated it as they remained single.

And there is rascism. Lots of Malaysian Indians love London as you are judged by what you can do. Not the colour of your skin. So they generally prefer London - I met quite a few - and that is despite the poor food here.

So many factors effect one's feelings towards a country.

Your observation made me laugh real hard! Haha!

Oh, yes. Since young, I've been fascinated by the U.S., and that was why I chose to pursue my undergrad education there for about three years. During my first six months there, I went through depression and severe culture shock despite having certain degree of understanding of American culture, which, as portrayed by the mass media, later on came to me as untrue. How naive I was. Haha! Well, those three years spent in the States were worth it! I learned a lot.

Glad that you enjoyed your stay in SEA. Hope you'll be able to rekindle your joy in KL once you've returned here.

About sizes, heights and whatnot, in the States, I was considered average in height and somewhat thin. Back in Malaysia? Tall among the local ladies, and average in size. I heard ya! That's a huge cultural difference in terms of perception on what's beauty. Haha! On my trip down in Atlanta, GA, I was told the Africans in the U.S. have a rather different notion of how a beautiful lady should look like, compared to other ethnic groups and races.

Definitely, a myriad factors affect the way we look at each culture and country. That's why I like getting to know people of different cultures. My American family friends have helped me a lot in that sense. I'm thankful for that.

Hi I'm glad you laughed as it was meant "tongue in cheek" and I was quoting directly what was said lol!

I'm sorry to hear you suffered a bit though. Culture shock usually lasts 6 months so they say before everything becomes the norm. With experience though things get easier the next time.

There are slowly a buildup amount of American expat working here especially in big company.  Malaysia is moving to become a developed nation, this stage malaysia is at best offering lots of good opportunity for small to medium business compare the usa recession now.

I am Malaysian and my fiancee is from Michigan (live in chicago quite sometime). We will be getting married in Malaysia and stay here for good. She like it so far.

Ivankoh wrote:

There are slowly a buildup amount of American expat working here especially in big company.  Malaysia is moving to become a developed nation, this stage malaysia is at best offering lots of good opportunity for small to medium business compare the usa recession now.

I am Malaysian and my fiancee is from Michigan (live in chicago quite sometime). We will be getting married in Malaysia and stay here for good. She like it so far.

Agreed. Compared to the yesteryears, I've seen an increase in the number of American expats in KL. I used to think that European, Aussie and Kiwi expats were greater in number here. The scene is changing apparently.

In fact, many of my American friends (I graduated from the States -- the state of Minnesota in particular -- in 2009) are still not employed permanently. Two of them will be teaching English for 10 months in Bangkok later this year, which I'm very looking forward to, as it'd bring great opportunity for us to reunite. Still, I miss the country and its people. It's such a wonderful place, with lots of interesting things, too. What pulls me away is the economic recession there. I'd love to return to the country someday, since I do have some friends and "family" there.

Apropos, congrats on your engagement and soon-to-be-held wedding! Glad to also know that your fiancee finds Malaysia an interesting place to live in.

I've been reading this post with interest as I'm a Malaysian but have spent the past 8 years moving around the globe. I haven't really experienced any cultural shock as I generally treat changes like one big adventure but now that I'm finishing my contract on the ship and am flying back to KL where ironically is 'home', I'm more than nervous! I suppose that's what you'd call reverse cultural shock. Instead of French, Spanish,Italian and English I'd have to start getting used to the sounds of Mandarin, Malay, Cantonese and Manglish. I don't expect the transition will be smooth and easy but hopefully by reconnecting with old friends and meeting new people(like people from this blog?), it will help me settle and keep my wanderlust down for a bit. Stuffing myself with local food will help immensely too. If there's one thing I miss about Malaysia, it'll be the cheap, and diversity of food available. Cliched, I know but it's true.

Nemodot, I still miss lively London despite the grey weather and its expensive cost of living! It makes you appreciate the sun more, unlike Asians who generally shy away from the heat. I wasn't a millionaire but I found a way to get by until I got silly and rented an apartment on Baker Street for a month. Needless to say, I soon became skint and found myself in Istanbul instead-not on the streets, thank god. LOL.

i really dont think there is much culture shock when coming to KL...i actually felt more culture shock when i moved from my french hometown to Paris...haha

quite easy to feel good here once u have a good group of friends, and many many positive aspects...

the only thing i dislike is lack of "gentleness" like people in shops not being nice at all, people never hold the door when u go after them, dont reply when u say "hello" in an elevator or the worst is people jumping the queues....
asian people are known for their smile and kindness, but this is certainly not the case in KL....

I do smile at ppl who smile at me.. hahaha or say thanks to them for helpng me to hold on to some doors or lift...Well mayb u didnt meet nice dude ....

i do smile and say hello to people even if they dont reply me...
and most of time women are surprised when i hold the door for them...
maybe people are more friendly with girls......hahaha

While Malaysians don't generally offer the 24/7 Australian bright smile and the usual, "Heya, how's it going?" in shops and on public transportation, we still are quick to smile while taking down orders in a restaurant or when acknowledged directly. However, coming from Paris, you have to admit that we're much more easy-going than the Parisian waiters and shop attendants whose default mood is cool and aloof... No? :-)
I noticed that my Parisian friend was more smiley when he was in KL than he was in Paris.

But yes, I do think the public tend to relax and are more friendly with girls because we seem harmless and innocent... Lucky us!

Hi Ryan,no worries.i've been living here for around 4 years.there wouldn't be a shock!if you are a down to earth one.also,you will not be alone especially as you are a white man.being white is a credit to you ;-)
good luck.

Atousa wrote:

Hi Ryan,no worries.i've been living here for around 4 years.there wouldn't be a shock!if you are a down to earth one.

Everyone is born different, depends on where things are coming from. One may or may not experience culture shock, and if he/she does, the degree of the shock should vary from the others. Unless you've been exposed to the culture that you'll immerse yourself in beforehand, I doubt there'll be none. In fact, I know an Oklahoman (American) friend here, who moved from SoCal to KL after marrying a Malaysian, he'd had some during his first few years here, and that was even back in the mid-'90s.

Atousa wrote:

also,you will not be alone especially as you are a white man.being white is a credit to you ;-)
good luck.

It's true that many Asians still have the post-Colonial kind of mentality, even in the relatively more advanced and affluent Singapore. Still, I think that's a racist remark you've made there. It could me who only sees it this way. So, what have you implied about being an Asian or African?

@ PL: why you do stick to the point of being shock, dear? It really depends on where you grown up and where you are going to!I have many expat friends in KL that they admit that setteling down in malaysia is so easier than many other countries. I spent some years in Europe as well and I could feel the same. I just meant living in KL would not be a shock especially if someone is supposed to be an easy person! Although ya...there are many busybody people who asked you in the first sight from A to Z just to be more friendly as they say which is very impolite in the place I come from!but should I consider this as a shock?!

regards to the point of being a racist, this is not me and actually it's East Asian. believe it or not, it's just enough to be a white guy and you will be overwelmed by asian girls. they are not that much interested in other races as much as a white man! that's a cheerful credit for him just in here! )
My expat friends, guys actually, said that they are usually been warned by their communities to be very careful about SOME asian girls!They usually are after money and then a baby by a sudden and pushing them to get married!! Look I mentioned only SOME girls, ok? plz don't come back to me to defend ALL girls. I know in every race and counrty there are different attitudes and behavior! not everyone is perefect and whatever...I just wrote about whatever my experiences are! maybe it's differenet for others...

GOod Luck to all expats!

Just my two cents, I think you weren't specific enough in your previous reply.

Yes, that was why I said it depends on where things are coming from -- since everyone is born different. Still, I don't think things should be generalized to everyone, because it'll then give an inaccurate portrayal to certain individuals. Some cultures are more conservative whereas others are open. "Shocked" as in finding yourself in a situation that's usually considered inappropriate/unacceptable in your own culture. Then again, since both of us come from different backgrounds, so I can't tell how you've come to your conclusion. In fact, I have some Arab neighbors here and they're VERY friendly.

I guess the best thing is to tell someone to go experience the cultural differences for him-/herself. Nothing beats hands-on experience, rather than being told of this and that and end up not knowing who's right and wrong. Things are INDEED subjective!

Since young, I've heard bad things about East Asian women, which is a bad stereotype of us. Not all East Asian girls do that. That's why, in Singapore, there's this label "Sarong Party Girls (SPGs)." They're like what you and your guy friends have described here. But then, I get your point, so not to worry.

You have a gorgeous Sunday. Nice "talking" to you here.

i just think both of u are rights...

as a guy coming from another country, i ve met quite a lot of foreigners (i dont like the word "expat" as people often link it with lot of money...) and i knew very few of them who didnt like Malaysia or who felt a real shock...or when they feel a shock, it is more on a positive way...i think what Atousa means is that compared to other countries, u really have to be "picky" to think it is difficult to adapt to Malaysia...

regarding her remark about being white, i dont think it is racist but to my mind it is not a good thing unless he is careful and just wants to have fun...he will definitely attract more girls but what kind of girls will they be?
maybe they're less than 1% of the asian girls and people will end up saying asian girls like white guys...i dont really agree with this statement as just a certain category of asian girls are really chasing white guys, but this type of girls interested in money and easy life are everywhere in the world...
i actually feel blessed i look more like a guy from middle east and not like a white guy coz these girls dont even look at me, thus it leaves the way for more interesting girls.............

@Piccolaying :

that s right when u come and talk to malaysian people in the street they turn out to be very friendly and helpful most of the time...although in Paris most of the time they wont have time for u...but KL customer service is really low, not sure if it is about training or mentality...

i do smile here much more often than in Paris, that's why I ve left this city by the way...

Nassim_from_Paris wrote:

i just think both of u are rights...

as a guy coming from another country, i ve met quite a lot of foreigners (i dont like the word "expat" as people often link it with lot of money...) and i knew very few of them who didnt like Malaysia or who felt a real shock...or when they feel a shock, it is more on a positive way...i think what Atousa means is that compared to other countries, u really have to be "picky" to think it is difficult to adapt to Malaysia...

regarding her remark about being white, i dont think it is racist but to my mind it is not a good thing unless he is careful and just wants to have fun...he will definitely attract more girls but what kind of girls will they be?
maybe they're less than 1% of the asian girls and people will end up saying asian girls like white guys...i dont really agree with this statement as just a certain category of asian girls are really chasing white guys, but this type of girls interested in money and easy life are everywhere in the world...
i actually feel blessed i look more like a guy from middle east and not like a white guy coz these girls dont even look at me, thus it leaves the way for more interesting girls.............

Im kinda use to the facebook thingy.. since we don have a like button here, can I just type a huge LIKE!!!  hahahha I like the last statement alot!!

Goodluck with the relocating.. Hope everything goes well and hope to see u when u are in Malaysia.
cheeerss :0

Speaking as a Malaysian living in the USA, I found some of the comments about culture shock here quite interesting and enlightening.  I genuinely feel for expats in Malaysia who have to go through the occasional rudeness from my fellow Malaysians.  But I can assure you such rudeness and inquisitiveness are quite universal. 

I have lived in the USA for 13 years.  I meet kind and rude people everyday and I am used to it now because I believe that life is best experienced if we accept the fact that people are who they are and there is always room for improvement. The most productive thing to do as an expat is not to see yourself as one but rather teach yourself to be part of the new community.  Learn the Malay language and the Malaysian cultures as much as you can.  There are schools that teach spoken Malay to expats in major cities in Malaysia.  Once you master the everyday language, participate in the many homestay programs sponsored by Malaysian Tourism Board or contact me as I do know someone who can help arrange a homestay with a Malaysian family there. 

I am writing at great length about the significance of learning the local language and cultures because I used to teach Malay, the cultures and the politics to expats from around the globe while I was still living in KL.  One Australian engineer told me how much he appreciated my program after a brief discomfort he and his coworkers had at the entry point.  A diplomat expressed her gratitude for my guidance after she had been granted an interview with a super conservative and non-Emglish speaking politician.  A Korean volunteer doctor thought he had the best time speaking Malay with folks in the rural areas in Sarawak.  Last but not least, a group of Japanese trainees were elated when Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir complimented them on their perfect Malay during their visit to his idil Fitri open house.

A lot of times it is the fear of the unknown that leads to unnecessary discomfort to the expats and the hosts.  There are all sorts of people that may surprise us no matter how much we think we know them.  When I first moved to my current small conservative town of Warren, Pennsylvania, I was surprised at the great number of people who knew and had visited Malaysia compared to folks I knew and associated with while living in big cities such as Chicago, San Francisco and Los Angeles.

Depending on how much you want to fit in your new environment, the opportunities are abundant if you are willing to look for them.  Join a volunteer group or form a dining club.  Mingle with local folks at the "pasar malam" after you have mastered the Malay language and be prepared for impromptu invitations to a wedding or "kenduri".  Never refuse an invitation to an open-house (rumah terbuka) as this is one unique Malaysian tradition that gathers citizens of all ethnicities enjoying good food and happy conversations.  Did I mention good food already?

I recently read a blog by an elderly American couple currently retiring in Penang.  They didn't seem to sound happy living in Malaysia based on their negative remarks about Malaysian youth and their addiction to iPad and texting, the public restrooms and some housing development in progress there.  The joy of being an expat is not to impose our preferences on the host country but to learn to understand what the host country has to offer.  Having experienced a variety of "colorful moments" in this vast nation of the USA, I can attest to you that there are more informed and kind people than the ignorant ones no matter where you live.  Embrace this fact, don't ponder on the negative things too much and life will be a lot easier and more fun for you.  This I never fail to emphasize to my Malaysia bound clients who are currently learning Malay from me here in the USA.

hey,im aleez n i'm a chef from singapore....n i dont have friends in kl...let's have a pint of beer...cos i love beer....this is my email [email protected]

Hi

Hey Ryan,
How's it going?  You managed to find a tennis group?