Let's be film critics

Star wars - I hope it was the last Jedi

I wonder how many critics were paid to write nice things about the new Star wars rubbish.

One mentioned the film could be cut by 15 minutes without any loss to the plot, but I would contend the writers or whoever totally lost the plot, adding as much total crap as they could in the hope of getting it up to two and a half hours, probably going for the record of the most pointless rubbish into a film without the critics slating it.

A good 30 to 40 minutes should have hit the cutting room floor, especially all the pathetic tripe where Luke wanders up hills in the rain in an attempt to catch fish (Yep, he goes up a hill to get to the sea) or, in the bits they never bother explaining, likely uses an outside toilet a very far far way from the houses because the last fish he stabbed was a bit off.

As for the new Darth, the actor is rubbish, his acting is rubbish, his lines are rubbish and his costume is rubbish. Other than that he's a great addition to the film. One question, why did he buy a helmet that he could break so easily?
It reminds me of young motorcyclists that buy the cheapest helmet they can find, totally ignoring how important their head is to the rest of their body. No loss as it was a lousy helmet, as pointless to the film as the scene where he smashed it.

That get's me on to the mega bad guy who didn't need make up as he was clearly a normal Hollywood actor with a botched facelift.
His persona was also rubbish, as was his acting. The bit where he described crap darth's lightsabre moving was seriously rubbish, like the supposed all powerful baddie who can see the whole universe didn't notice the guy who he'd been insulting all the way through the film didn't fancy chopping him in half.
Pathetic acting out of a pathetic plot.

Finn's girlfriend is also rubbish, but the little droid wasn't too bad, it's acting being far far better than new Darth, even when its head fell off.

As for Princess whatsherface, the actor is dead, ironic as she killed the part with her pathetic acting and minimal attempt to do anything interesting with the terrible script some 12 year old wannabe writer seemingly had stolen from his blog by the film's producers.

The woman that took over when our intrepid princess went to sleep seemed asleep, or at least must have been asleep in acting school.
Her flat, poorly delivered lines were as dead as a rat that just held a lunch meeting with an articulated lorry's wheels.

The two and a half hours felt like at least four and I'd run out of nibbles to chomp on half way through so I have to classify the thing as boring crap and a "Must miss" film.

I recall the first one where we were all sitting on the edge of our seats, totally gripped by the red hot scenes in front of us, but this was a case of hanging onto my seat lest I fell off when boredom sent me to the land of nod.

I was once offered a sexual encounter with an old prostitute for a quid, refusing on the grounds I didn't fancy her and I didn't want a diseased sausage, but this took twice the money and I still feel like I got f.

  seriously mate. Though its obvious. The movie was a filler it self.  Its still starwars dude. Nothing can beat that.. i still love it.

I love scifi in general
I loved many of the other Star wars

I was bored stupid through most of this rubbish shadow of what Star wars was.
It reminds me very much of the rather pathetic, Star trek, the slow motion picture.
Perhaps you might recall what a slow, boring, plotless, poorly acted waste of cinema time that was.

Fred wrote:

I love scifi in general
I loved many of the other Star wars

I was bored stupid through most of this rubbish shadow of what Star wars was.
It reminds me very much of the rather pathetic, Star trek, the slow motion picture.
Perhaps you might recall what a slow, boring, plotless, poorly acted waste of cinema time that was.

FYI ~ Motion picture review lies of truths, not withstanding, approximately 70% of the current motion picture productions, depict human beings killing each other. The story lines remain the same, for whatever reason, that can be "artistically" conjured, and then promoted as intellectually-stimulating, mass-media "entertainment".

Tragically, the  Star Wars global mentality Dye, is already deeply caste/massaged, via the current Children's Internet War Games (addictions). Thus, your comments, regarding the filmed "story-line" quality production levels, depicting of the same old "good vs. evil" human stupidities, are a moot point (sigh), and about 40-years too late.

I find it most depressing, to image a human species, existing long, long ago,.....in a galaxy,.......far, far away,.......behaving the exact the same way, as we, here, in the Milky Way, behave, today. 

Anyway, on behalf of my own great-grandchildren, I say thanks, just the same, Amigo.

Fred, it's no small wonder why you were bored stupid, so to speak. The Star Wars franchise hasn't produced an evolved plot, since the third episode.