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Does anyone have success stories of fleeing another country and making it successfully?  I am in USA, fleeing stbxh (soon to be ex husband) who is violent and abusive with me.  So, I only got a state away with my little resources I had---I want to be a country away with our unborn child so he does not abuse my Lil Lil after birth, the way he abused me.  So, I have nothing but a will to survive with my baby.  I am curious how others have done it?  I know anything is possible but right now, I feel so heavy in despair...I want fresh ideas, some encouragement from others who were successful :)  How did you do it??

I hope you have consulted a qualified divorce attorney.  Several states, including California, do not allow a divorce to be finalized until after the baby is born, so that custody and/or visitation rights or matters of child support can be settled legally.  "Fleeing" the country, as you put it, may be illegal if you are denying his paternal rights.  Of course, a qualified attorney should advise you.  There are measures you can take where you are to protect yourself without needing to be on the run.  I'm sorry for your situation and wish you luck.

Romaniac
Expat.com Experts Team

Thanks for the heads up and yes, I have consulted lawyers.  I have also been in a secret DV safehouse outside of CA because of the level of abuse and violence.  So, I am not filing in CA, but he may try. 

"Fortunately, in California, you can file for divorce while pregnant, unlike many other states. However, there are a few complications, such as:

The parents must wait until the child is born to finalize the divorce, even if it is over the mandatory six-month waiting period,
Summary dissolution is not available during pregnancy, and
Parentage should be established, which if the child is born before the divorce is finalized, the spouse is considered to be the presumed father."

I guess the word fleeing struck a cord.  Well, I couldnt 'hang out' where I was at home in CA so yes, I had to flee with the clothes on my back.  DV is very serious.  That is why I have done my research, I am alive today because I am looking out for #1, my baby.  If I am not alive, my baby will not survive; so I will flee again to save us but knowing the laws is very smart so I thank you for your tips :)

Not to dash your hopes but set realistic expectations. My concern is you getting long term housing and employment. You can come over as a tourist but staying would mean registering and finding employment. I have been told(I'm not in NL) that it would be nearly impossible for someone outside the EU, Canada and specific other countries (not the US). You'd need an employer to hire you first and then move. Housing and employment are the biggest issues. I am in the same boat. I want to move over..not because I have to.  Do some research into registering for housing and employment.  I am looking at 2 years out before I move over and it's a lot of planning with a family. I will either self employ, create a BV and hire myself or get hired by a Dutch company before I move. I'm highly skilled so Dutch companies will want me however the pay isn't as good even with the 30% ruling vs what my American company pays me. Language is another issue even if you can get in. Outside of multinationals, tourist places and IT, they will want you fluent in Dutch. I would recommend doing a lot of research into this before you just up and move over.

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