Concerned Mother

My son was on vacation in Sosua October this year for eight days.  He met a young lady the first evening at a disco and they were together the whole time he was there.  He is smitten to say the least.  She wants him to come meet her mother after the first of the year.  She is 30 with a little girl and he is 47 (divorced).  Evidently, they are discussing her coming here (USA) on a 90 day trial period to see if she would like it here.  He has been checking into the procedure.  I am concerned.  I want him to get to know her better, but DR makes it difficult.  I am worried about him going back to a big city, rather than a tourist area, where they seem to have tourist police (?).  Any information would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you.

Welcome to the forums.  First you are right to be concerned about the time frame.  There is no issue him coming to a big city,  if he behaves in a safe manner he will be fine.

And second honey he is a grown ass man!  At 47 he should be able to figure this stuff out. 

Send him here to read the forums.  Ask his questions.

Sometimes you cannot stop what someone needs to learn on his own.

It is not difficult to be seduced by the beauty & astounding acting ability of the women here. Many good men have fallen prey to the wily wiles of the predatory chicas that seem to prevail here.  I too, once fell into the arms of a lovely lass. I soon became aware of my error & moved on, though a few pesos lighter!  There are many pains in life, realizing that you are a foolish idiot is one of them.  Your son is beyond your guiding hand.  No words of wisdom will deter him now.  The lure of paradise in her arms will have to take its course. If he reads enough of the threads on the subject, he just might slow down a bit.  Welcome to the site  & wish you both well.

Welcome to the DR forum and glad you found us here
My advice is still the same as on the other forum
1.  Run like hell
2.  99.9999% chance she is a  gold digger especially if he met her at a bar,  in a club, on the street, or at a hotel.

Bob K

Thank you for your reply.  Lol, I realize he is a grown man.  We work together and often talk over situations.  After we had a conversation regarding his trip, I felt he was seeking my opinion.  I have expressed my opinion, what he does with it is up to him.

Good for you Mom!!

My son is only 18 and, as a student, certainly not the best target for a gold digger, but I have that concern myself when I think about the time he'll be on his own in DR while we're looking at property! I know that some of these women aren't traditional gold diggers - they aren't necessarily looking for someone with lots of money, just a passport from another country!

The thing is, 8 days with anyone - whether they live 1500 miles or 5 miles away - is not long enough to know someone and make potential life changing decisions! Your son doesn't have to rush into anything! I assume if this young woman comes to the US on a "trial basis", her daughter would be coming too?  If so, your son needs to think about what that means to a little girl - to be whisked away from her home, her friends, her family by a virtual stranger - and all of that for what might just be 90 days?  If she isn't planning to bring her daughter, your son needs to think about that too - what does it say if this woman is willing to leave her daughter behind for a man she's spent so little time with?

It's only a few hours flight to DR and it's a cheap place to visit. If your son wants to pursue this relationship, encourage him to take a little bit longer trip to spend time with her and get to know her better. And he should try to get out of vacation mode and spend time with her that will be more like everyday life. Any relationship is going to seem better when you are relaxing on a beautiful beach, sipping drinks out of coconuts, with not a care in the world!

Good advice to spend some time together and see what you may be getting into.  There is more to a relationship than sex.
Bob K

Your right Bob! It takes a lot more than a blue pill to make or save a relationship.  Ittakestime,mutually shared expiriencs & living together to be ble to ascertain the validity of it all. Emotion & the body so easily betrays the ratuonal mind. Wish him well & stand behind no matter what path he chooses.

All valid points, I have thought about and expressed to him.  My concerns are for him, the young lady and her daughter.  We reside in a rural area and run a small family business.  It would certainly be different for them.  Time will tell.  I have done all I can.  Thanks for your reply.

Keep us posted on his progress...

Bob K

Dating or marrying an American or foreign man is like winning a golden ticket for the average Dominican woman. Many of these women frequent the tourist areas where American men go in order to seduce the men.  We men won't admit it but we still sometimes act like teenagers when it comes to young women offering sex.  We get stupid and can be easily led by our little head.  Most of these women only care about money,  and who can give them the most. I guarantee that as soon as that woman meets a man who can or will give her more than your son can provide,  she will leave.  I have met a group of American  men who have lived in the country for years. They have told me their horror stories about the women.  Their first suggestion is to have fun with the gold diggers for a short time.  But if you are seriously looking for a relationship,  find a woman who has roots in her community.  A lawyer,  doctor,  school teacher,  nurse,  business woman etc... Someone who isn't looking for a golden ticket. I suggest your son not plan a life with a woman he met at a bar.  Enjoy the ride for a short period of time.  Enjoy being made to feel young by her. Then find a woman who can offer him more than sex. I was flirting with my gorgeous Airbnb host only to find out she's single,  a dentist, and who owns many apartments that she rents out to tourists. You would be wasting your time trying to convince your son that this woman isn't the best thing since sliced bread. But relish in the fact that you will be able to say,  I told you so.

Julian good post

Bob K

Julian Torrez, thank you for your comment.  As someone else said, He will have to learn from his mistake.  Which seems to be where things are headed.

Get a big safety net ready :)

Bob K

Great post - well said Julien

Hello people, I will tell you that I myself have fallen for a beautiful young lady. I have traveled the world when I was a younger man and have seen and experienced what women will do for a buck, a peso, dat. I don’t blame them at all. They do what they have to do to survive in the poor countries that they live in. Hell, wouldn’t you? You’re right in saying that the young fella may be headed for disappointment. But sometimes you have to risk it all to build a new life in another place with another woman or just by yourself. I see it like this, is he spending your dime, is he taking away one of your mistakes therefore you criticize him for what he wants to do? It’s his life, let him live it. And why would someone be so happy to tell him “I told you so”. Do you NEED to be RIGHT? Why is there a need to tell anyone “I told you so”? Let the guy be happy in his own mistake. I’m not giving a lecture here, it’s just that I’ve been in his shoes also. Do I regret what I did? NO. It was an awesome experience.

No not condemning him but making life decisions based on facts and maybe even other's experience is a sign of maturity.

Bob K

It is not to crititize but to say watch your ass, this is what has been the norm here, so again.... be aware of the possibilities. I wish him well & and hate the smug  idiots who say I told you so.  Expirence will tell the story. He writes it, not us. Eight weeks is not sufficient time for an erection to stop steering the boat.  There are many reefs in life's voyage, this could be one of them, I hope not for him.    My ship sank to my dismay, but the next one is still afloat.

Ok enough of rhis thread. Closing it.

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