Vietnamese women

I wouldn't know. I was a Catholic, at one stage in my life. But never an altar boy.

eodmatt wrote:

(from someone who parks her motorbike in her living room at night)

Or park in restaurant.
Last time in a small restaurant, people start motorbike next to my table I just eat my meal.
Start motorbilke and drove out the restaurant.   

sanooku wrote:

***

Not that I can't, but prefer not to - all those pesky mosquitoes!

Andy Passenger wrote:

eodmatt wrote:

(from someone who parks her motorbike in her living room at night)

Or park in restaurant.
Last time in a small restaurant, people start motorbike next to my table I just eat my meal.
Start motorbilke and drove out the restaurant.   

Huh??
Well of course.
Where else is he going to park it?
In restaurants and quán ăn, motorbikes are as natural as tables, plastic chairs and toothpicks!

Wait I thought this was about Vietnamese women... 

eodmatt wrote:

Not that I can't, but prefer not to - all those pesky mosquitoes!

There's a business idea right there...Some kind of backside protection for doing a tarzan out in the woods. Similar to a motorcycle helmet but for your derrière. Actually, more similar to a bra, because, the butt has two cheeks.

Guys,
Please stay on topic. The original topic of this thread is 'Vietnamese women'.
Thank you 

sanooku wrote:

eodmatt wrote:

Not that I can't, but prefer not to - all those pesky mosquitoes!

There's a business idea right there...Some kind of backside protection for doing a tarzan out in the woods. Similar to a motorcycle helmet but for your derrière. Actually, more similar to a bra, because, the butt has two cheeks.

Speaking of which, last time I was in MM supermarket, An Phu, I was with her indoors wandering past the serried rows of bras and other items of female (and transgender) wear and I saw what looked like a bum bra.

Wassat? I said to HiD.

Its something that women wear to make their bums bigger, she replied.

Blimey! I said. My ex missus was standing in the bathroom trying on a pair of leggings and she asked me: Does this make my bum look big?

I replied, well it is a small bathroom.

KKDD, said her indoors.

Vietnamese women eh?

Its a very Funny story. you defused a potential explosive situation very diplomatically. (middle child in family by any chance?)

assuming this is a true story, tell us please. How often do you go shopping for leggings with your ex missus, accompanied by your wife. Again, assuming you don't have a death wish.

My other explanation is that you bumped in to your ex missus while shopping at MM Supermarket or your wife and ex missus are sisters (who've chosen to let bygones be bygones).

Also, could it be that your ex missus was joking with you, because you'll have had shared quite a bit of western culture together. (I can't see how the Vietnamese language having something similar to "does my bum look big in this" - maybe the opposite, "does my bum look small in this"?)

BTW, what does KKDD mean?

sanooku wrote:

Its a very Funny story. you defused a potential explosive situation very diplomatically. (middle child in family by any chance?)

assuming this is a true story, tell us please. How often do you go shopping for leggings with your ex missus, accompanied by your wife. Again, assuming you don't have a death wish.

My other explanation is that you bumped in to your ex missus while shopping at MM Supermarket or your wife and ex missus are sisters (who've chosen to let bygones be bygones).

Also, could it be that your ex missus was joking with you, because you'll have had shared quite a bit of western culture together. (I can't see how the Vietnamese language having something similar to "does my bum look big in this" - maybe the opposite, "does my bum look small in this"?)

BTW, what does KKDD mean?

I am the eldest child of my parents family.

Unfortunately I was born an orphan, or made an orphan immediately after being born, reason being that I was born with a very large and hairy moustache. And it tickled my mother to death.

Very sad.

I have never been shopping for leggings with any woman, let alone shopping for leggings in a bathroom.

My ex-wife is a drug abusing English person with mental problems. My current wife is Vietnamese. Never the twain shall meet.

My ex wife and I shared a lot of Western culture together (she certainly absorbed a lot of mine), especially in the early days when she couldn't cook and we ate fish and chips and spent most of our time in bed together.

KKDD is short for a Vietnamese colloquial expression which translates as: "Lazy and crazy".

I presume that's "khùng khùng điên điên."

colinoscapee wrote:

I presume that's "khùng khùng điên điên."

What exactly of this meaning? It says Crazy, crazy or super crazy or crazy +stupid??

colinoscapee wrote:

I presume that's "khùng khùng điên điên."

Yep.

Collwing wrote:

colinoscapee wrote:

I presume that's "khùng khùng điên điên."

What exactly of this meaning? It says Crazy, crazy or super crazy or crazy +stupid??

I know điên means crazy, but didn't know khùng khùng điên điên.

Since vietnamese language has repeated words (reduplication) . e..g nói = talk, nói nói = to keep talking and talking. Also từ từ = calm down, nhìn chằm chằm = stare (to stare at someone), I'm guessing khùng khùng điên điên is a similar expression formed by repeating words.

Still don't get where we get 'lazy' from though. Then again I'm sure I've seen some other words which when you combine them means something totally different to what they mean in isolation. Hopefully there aren't many of these.

colinoscapee wrote:

eodmatt wrote:

.. never take shoe off in house" (from someone who parks her motorbike in her living room at night). And so on. All of which she stoically ignores.

I love the bit about not taking their shoes off.

This coming from many women who still think that water and a rag is what you use to clean a bathroom and toilet.

Of course. My cleaning lady used water and rag to clean kitchen worktop, then used the same rag to clean top of toilet bowl (she did use a  brush for the inside of toilet bowl). For a moment, I was glad she did it in this order, however, my happiness was short lived, as the next minute, I was wondering if she had used the same rag in the other apartments in our building. In which case, the order wouldn't matter either way.

eodmatt wrote:

sanooku wrote:

Its a very Funny story...

Unfortunately I was born an orphan, or made an orphan immediately after being born, reason being that I was born with a very large and hairy moustache. And it tickled my mother to death.

Very sad.

I have never been shopping for leggings with any woman, let alone shopping for leggings in a bathroom.

My ex-wife is a drug abusing English person with mental problems. My current wife is Vietnamese. Never the twain shall meet.

My ex wife and I shared a lot of Western culture together (she certainly absorbed a lot of mine), especially in the early days when she couldn't cook and we ate fish and chips and spent most of our time in bed together.

KKDD is short for a Vietnamese colloquial expression which translates as: "Lazy and crazy".

Really sorry to hear of your mother's demise, especially in the manner it occurred. I have often seen babies been wheeled about in prams around places like scunthorpe with the affliction that you mention. Have you made a full recovery from the big hairy moustache syndrome?

I believe Mr. Cholmondley-Warner was another person who suffered from this but then went on to do Mercury 1-2-1 adverts and afterwards to become a national icon.

As for never going leggings shopping "with any woman", this leaves the possibility of going leggings shopping with another .......

yep!, using bathroom to change did have me wondering, but then I figured that you may have made a Freudian slip. Used the word "bathroom" instead of changing room. Afterall, americans call the toilet the bathroom. Many a times I've been confused, when an Amercan has got up from a table and asked that they are excused to visit the "bathroom". I've immediately wondered as to what could possess them to have a shower during the middle of a Soirée.

..we ate fish and chips and spent most of our time in bed together...

Ahhh!, good ole fish and chips. doused in vinegar, splash of salt and maybe a drollop of tomato ketchup or mayonnaise. You can't beat it. The vinegar when it lands on the hot (greasy) chips creates this aroma.....

In vietnamese, I believe there is a saying "Bồ là phở, vợ là cơm" (The mistress is noodle/the wife is rice). Fish and Chips on the other hand could be enjoyed with one or the other.

sanooku wrote:

eodmatt wrote:

sanooku wrote:

Its a very Funny story...

Unfortunately I was born an orphan, or made an orphan immediately after being born, reason being that I was born with a very large and hairy moustache. And it tickled my mother to death.

Very sad.

I have never been shopping for leggings with any woman, let alone shopping for leggings in a bathroom.

My ex-wife is a drug abusing English person with mental problems. My current wife is Vietnamese. Never the twain shall meet.

My ex wife and I shared a lot of Western culture together (she certainly absorbed a lot of mine), especially in the early days when she couldn't cook and we ate fish and chips and spent most of our time in bed together.

KKDD is short for a Vietnamese colloquial expression which translates as: "Lazy and crazy".

Really sorry to hear of your mother's demise, especially in the manner it occurred. I have often seen babies been wheeled about in prams around places like scunthorpe with the affliction that you mention. Have you made a full recovery from the big hairy moustache syndrome?

I believe Mr. Cholmondley-Warner was another person who suffered from this but then went on to do Mercury 1-2-1 adverts and afterwards to become a national icon.

As for never going leggings shopping "with any woman", this leaves the possibility of going leggings shopping with another .......

yep!, using bathroom to change did have me wondering, but then I figured that you may have made a Freudian slip. Used the word "bathroom" instead of changing room. Afterall, americans call the toilet the bathroom. Many a times I've been confused, when an Amercan has got up from a table and asked that they are excused to visit the "bathroom". I've immediately wondered as to what could possess them to have a shower during the middle of a Soirée.

..we ate fish and chips and spent most of our time in bed together...

Ahhh!, good ole fish and chips. doused in vinegar, splash of salt and maybe a drollop of tomato ketchup or mayonnaise. You can't beat it. The vinegar when it lands on the hot (greasy) chips creates this aroma.....

In vietnamese, I believe there is a saying "Bồ là phở, vợ là cơm" (The mistress is noodle/the wife is rice). Fish and Chips on the other hand could be enjoyed with one or the other.

You are obviously as mad as I am!

Welcome to the club.

Indeed. Mad as a hatter...Mad as a March hare. Take your pick.

If I was to chose between being popular (liked) and being slightly mad. I know which one I'd chose, hands down.

BTW, isn't the topic of discussion a bit of a generalization. I've read on these forums that  vietnamese women are "controlling". Pretty sure you cannot apply this to ALL vietnamese women.

I think a healthy level of distrust is okay, but if you go in to a relationship thinking they are untrustworthy or controlling, it would only rub off on them.

Just my two cents.

March Hares and "Hatters" are synonymous. The former because of hormonal influences during the mating season and the latter from breathing in fumes from the chemical (mercury) they used to brush on the brims of the hats they were making, to stiffen them.

Vietnamese wimmin are, or can be seen as "controlling", however this seems to be a cultural thing in that they are "taking care of the biggest investment of their lives" - their husband.

In the main they seem to be far more loyal than some Western wimmin (I should know, I was married twice before).

I know two Vietnamese millionaires and both of them rely on their wives to pay the bills and make all the decisions about domestic finance matters . They just make lots of money and their wives take care of them and protect them with a degree of protectionism that would seem intrusive and maybe even oppressive in other societies.

Love are accident, so that why peoples fall in love.

Emma Resident wrote:

Love are accident, so that why peoples fall in love.

Not always.  I've known a good number of women who planned their love in details.  They frequented exclusive clubs or organisations that their types of men are members, did their homework on the men they wanted to meet, prepared themselves to fit the profile, and made sure they would be on the path of those men.  One can plan to fall in love when one has the mindset of a war general, and I've known women who were probably better strategists than some war generals.

So here's the deal, while it looks like she has some very good qualities, there are some worrying signs.

I have been told about some family troubles involving a family member, gambling and money but never directly asked.

When I asked about the problems she told me to stop asking, maybe playing the long game.

She came to my place and cooked for me which was nice but she is definitely not that type of girl.

So either I run or wait for her to ask

Also if anyone is in nha trang and wants to meet up let me know I don't know many people here and going to coffee shops alone is getting boring.

If you want to meet some foreigners over a cheap beer and a good feed, go to the bia tuoi joint on the corner of 69 Bach Dang, Nha Trang. There is usually someone around at 1100 and after 1700.

It's near Cho Xom Moi market, so some of our wives send us off to entertain ourselves while they go to morning market.

eodmatt wrote:

March Hares and "Hatters" are synonymous. The former because of hormonal influences during the mating season and the latter from breathing in fumes from the chemical (mercury) they used to brush on the brims of the hats they were making, to stiffen them.

They are both characters in the famous/popular English novel Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Caroll. That's what I meant. I think this was lost on the reader.

"March Hares and "Hatters" are synonymous". You mean USED synonymously. Anyway, mad as a hatter is probably more appropriate here because unless you can see me jumping up and down behaving in an unusual manner, it's probably not the best phrase to describe my madness.

In the main they seem to be far more loyal than some Western wimmin (I should know, I was married twice before).

Divorce is more acceptable in the West. It's quite a jump to draw conclusions about loyalty from the number of times one has been married to a "western women". The societal pressures in the west are different. There may be more drug abuse cases (no adequate protections to deal with the problem -wheras  in Vietnam you will probably never find a wife that is in to drugs). All I'm saying is, you cannot judge all "western women" based on personal experience. There are many relationships that are solid and husband and wife are very loyal. (don't count those who have Ashley Madison website accounts)

Just an observation: some of the 'likes' on this forum seem a bit suspicious.

Read the early posts then started browing when everyone went off topic.  Some keys takeaways:

1) There are some things that are human nature, not just Vietnamese women.
2) There are some things that are womanly nature, not just Vietnamese women.
3) There are some bad apples and some good ones, the hard part is figuring it out which is which.
4) Just because a VN girl cares about her family, doesn't mean she's "good".  Different standards.  A good portion of the VN girls gold-digging are also sending a chunk of money back to their family.
5) Not holding hands.  Neither the good girl or the professional gold-digger will give the milk away for free.  This can only be used to detect the amateur gold-digger.
6) Just as you are worrying about whether the girl has multiple guys on the side the good girl is also wondering if you have a wife and kids back home while the gold-digger assumes you have one.

No easy answer but if you are looking for a long term relationship here's one thing you can try once you make it it official.  Is the girl willing to spend time with to get to know your family better.   Is the girl willing to let you spend time with and get to know her family better.

sanooku wrote:

eodmatt wrote:

March Hares and "Hatters" are synonymous. The former because of hormonal influences during the mating season and the latter from breathing in fumes from the chemical (mercury) they used to brush on the brims of the hats they were making, to stiffen them.

They are both characters in the famous/popular English novel Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Caroll. That's what I meant. I think this was lost on the reader.

"March Hares and "Hatters" are synonymous". You mean [b]USED synonymously[/b]. Anyway, mad as a hatter is probably more appropriate here because unless you can see me jumping up and down behaving in an unusual manner, it's probably not the best phrase to describe my madness.

In the main they seem to be far more loyal than some Western wimmin (I should know, I was married twice before).

Divorce is more acceptable in the West. It's quite a jump to draw conclusions about loyalty from the number of times one has been married to a "western women". The societal pressures in the west are different. There may be more drug abuse cases (no adequate protections to deal with the problem -wheras  in Vietnam you will probably never find a wife that is in to drugs). All I'm saying is, you cannot judge all "western women" based on personal experience. There are many relationships that are solid and husband and wife are very loyal. (don't count those who have Ashley Madison website accounts)

Just an observation: some of the 'likes' on this forum seem a bit suspicious.

Pedantry. I like it! You don't have to jump up and down to be likened to "a mad march hare", just behave erratically. As for Lewis Caroll, that was a "nom de plume" his real real name was: Charles Lutwidge Dodgson.

Divorce is more acceptable to whom, in the west? The incidence of divorce is more or less the same in Vietnam as it is in the UK. In fact the Vietnamese have a very sensible way of going about divorce which  can avoid allowing fraudulent judges and lawyers to destroy lives, unlike the UK where divorce court judges are appointed secretly by some mechanism involving buggins turn, secret handshakes and a nod and a wink for "services rendered".  In fact divorce judges in the UK are often barristers who can be seen representing a client and the solicitors that he has recently handled a judgement in favour of -  so glaring conflicts of interest often arise .

I know a little about divorce in Vietnam as I have a friend in Can Tho, who is a divorce judge. That's not to say that divorce judges in Vietnam are less corrupt, they aren't. But the divorce laws in Vietnam are structured in such a way that a sensible divorcing couple can avoid falling into the trap of being robbed by dishonest lawyers and complicit judges.

I draw my conclusions about loyalty from personal experience, it is therefore a personal perspective and not empirical. But I have the experience of three marriages to draw upon. Do you?

Moreover, I know a lot of westerners in Vietnam who are married to Vietnamese - and some in the USA and Europe and "in the main", theres that phrase I used again, Vietnamese women seem to be more far more loyal than their UK counterparts.

eodmatt wrote:

Moreover, I know a lot of westerners in Vietnam who are married to Vietnamese - and some in the USA and Europe and "in the main", theres that phrase I used again, Vietnamese women seem to be more far more loyal than their UK counterparts.

I'm vietnamese american and I remember this one time I was having lunch with another vietnamese american coworker and for some reason we started talking about gold-diggers.  I made a comment about how that phrase can or cannot encompass a lot of thing.   For instance, is the woman looking for guys with a good job/money because of material wants or for a sense of security.  And of course the ones that consider material assets a form of security.  My coworker then told me a story about how a friend of hers came over from America on a green card who's only goal was to find any American to marry so she could stay in the US.  The friend eventually found some guy twice her age, married him, had his kids and they'd been together for years.  Unknown if the above is an extreme example or the norm. 

You also have the opposite problem of Vietnamese (& American?) women being too loyal when they end up being married to abusive husbands/boyfriends.  I myself can't imagine hitting a woman so I didn't think it was that prevalent but I've been told by many social workers that it's a lot more common then most people realize.

videriant wrote:

eodmatt wrote:

Moreover, I know a lot of westerners in Vietnam who are married to Vietnamese - and some in the USA and Europe and "in the main", theres that phrase I used again, Vietnamese women seem to be more far more loyal than their UK counterparts.

I'm vietnamese american and I remember this one time I was having lunch with another vietnamese american coworker and for some reason we started talking about gold-diggers.  I made a comment about how that phrase can or cannot encompass a lot of thing.   For instance, is the woman looking for guys with a good job/money because of material wants or for a sense of security.  And of course the ones that consider material assets a form of security.  My coworker then told me a story about how a friend of hers came over from America on a green card who's only goal was to find any American to marry so she could stay in the US.  The friend eventually found some guy twice her age, married him, had his kids and they'd been together for years.  Unknown if the above is an extreme example or the norm. 

You also have the opposite problem of Vietnamese (& American?) women being too loyal when they end up being married to abusive husbands/boyfriends.  I myself can't imagine hitting a woman so I didn't think it was that prevalent but I've been told by many social workers that it's a lot more common then most people realize.

Marital abuse is a lot more common than people think and it isn't just men hitting women, it involves women being violent as well in almost as many cases.

eodmatt wrote:

They just make lots of money and their wives take care of them and protect them with a degree of protectionism that would seem intrusive and maybe even oppressive in other societies.

I concur as my wife takes so good care of me that my western sisters think I am taking advantage of her.  I just tell them to relax and that it is a cultural thing so stop trying to westernize our marriage as it is based on eastern, not western values.  I learned to appreciate and respect how she cares for me and I would have it no other way.   To have someone love you and care for you like a VN wife is priceless.  But like others commented, it is not for everyone, but I would have it no other way.

vndreamer wrote:

...  I just tell them to relax and that it is a cultural thing so stop trying to westernize our marriage as it is based on eastern, not western values...

My Vietnamese wife once asked me "What is feminism?" (we live in Asia with no plans to "move West") and I just said, "It is complicated, difficult to explain" and she was ok with that. She isn't dumb; she just doesn't like television and isn't interested in the news.

gobot wrote:

vndreamer wrote:

...  I just tell them to relax and that it is a cultural thing so stop trying to westernize our marriage as it is based on eastern, not western values...

My Vietnamese wife once asked me "What is feminism?" (we live in Asia with no plans to "move West") and I just said, "It is complicated, difficult to explain" and she was ok with that. She isn't dumb; she just doesn't like television and isn't interested in the news.

Seems to me that they don't need feminism generally, since they rule the roost anyway.

Showing friends my photos of women labourers shovelling gravel to repair the road, I pointed out, "There is no sexist discrimination in Vietnam, the women do ALL the work."

ralphnhatrang wrote:

Showing friends my photos of women labourers shovelling gravel to repair the road, I pointed out, "There is no sexist discrimination in Vietnam, the women do ALL the work."

Not only in Vietnam.

I worked in China countryside (Shanxi) for 4 months in 2005.
There, the men simply would not have survived if their women had not taken care of them.
The men were busy with standing around, smoking, drinking.

Since then, I hold Asian women in high esteem.

Yep, I concur.

My ex wife in the UK was (still is) an idle, drug consuming waste of oxygen. My Vietnam wife puts me to shame sometimes with her enthusiasm for hard work.

Coming from a relatively poor family, she sold soft drinks from a cart outside Ben Tanh market to fund herself through university and to pay for a room to live in whilst she studied. It all eventually paid off when she achieved 2 masters degrees and learned English, Korean and Kung Fu.

When at home in D8, I go walking every morning and see Vietnamese women (and men) getting their stuff ready for market from 5 AM onwards - and earlier in some cases. They are rarely home before 8 PM.

Before we were married I worked for a while on a project in N Thailand. The project was one where I had to be up at 0430 AM every morning, to give safety briefings before dawn, so that 800 men and women could commence work as dawn broke.

My then g/f, now wife, came with me to Thailand, got up in the morning when I did and, whilst I involved myself with my morning SSS & S, made coffee and breakfast for me.

During the day and despite not speaking the Thai language she would go shopping, even taking the local bus into Udon Thani, buying stuff for dinner, fresh fruit and the occasional bottle of wine as a treat. I would get in from work and the evening meetings at around 19:30 and, when I came out of the shower, dinner would be on the table, often complete with a glass of chilled red wine.

Other people may have different experience.

Me? I just thank God (other deities are available) and my wife, that we met when we did. My only regret is that we didn't meet 20 years earlier.

I said the same to my good VN wife:  " I wish I had met you thirty years ago."  Life would have been much more pleasant for both of us.

"Me? I just thank God (other deities are available) and my wife, that we met when we did. My only regret is that we didn't meet 20 years earlier."

"I said the same to my good VN wife:  " I wish I had met you thirty years ago."  Life would have been much more pleasant for both of us."

I triple that.  I tell my wife it hurts me knowing that we should have met many years ago.  Also, I wake up to go to work and when I am out of the shower, breakfast and fresh coffee is on the table.  When i come home from work, dinner is served.  Please note, it is rare to have the same meal within a month or 2 or 3. 

gobot wrote:

She isn't dumb; she just doesn't like television and isn't interested in the news.

Funny story, when we setup internet in our home, the provider asked about tv services, I laughed and said "we don't have a tv"  and the phone went silent for a few seconds as she did not know what to say.  So I eased her confusion by reminding her that people are canceling cable services in the USA as there are other forms of entertainment.

Totally agree, I wish we could have met years ago but times were different then and we were in different places and had lifestyles that would have prevented us from ever meeting. It's only in more recent years that mixed marriages have become more socially acceptable.
We both work 6 days a week and have an 8 year old son but we still have time for each other, she is beautiful and caring, a wonderful person...

vndreamer wrote:

Funny story, when we setup internet in our home, the provider asked about tv services, I laughed and said "we don't have a tv"  and the phone went silent for a few seconds as she did not know what to say.  So I eased her confusion by reminding her that people are canceling cable services in the USA as there are other forms of entertainment.

The last time we watched TV regularly was in June, 2000.  Haven't owned a TV since then and still haven't missed it.  My children stopped watching TV when they left home for college, in 1994 and 1996, respectively.  Although they're successful in their careers and up to date with global, national (US) news, and social trends, neither of them owns a TV.