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Vietnamese women

I am on holiday in Vietnam and I met a girl on tinder, we've met up a few times for food and drinks, she is beautiful, seems kind and very family oriented.

Then I read these forums and there seems to be a lot of comments about these seemingly innocent good girls turning out to have multiple boyfriends for money etc.

I have only been here a week I am still learning about culture and I can be naive so any advice to help me not become another story would be appreciated.

This girl seems like kind of woman I could marry, but I am in no rush, I am 29 but don't want to waste my time if I'm being taken for a ride.

She helps her mum everyday on the market, sells clothes online and works in a women's fashion shop when needed, the times we have been out there is little affection with touching my arm or face but holding hands is off the table and she always asks to go home before 11pm and doesn't drink or smoke.

Her English is ok and she says thing s wrong sometimes but we both laugh and I try to teach her the correct way to say words and she teaches me Vietnamese. From what I've read these are all signs of a good girl but I have trust issues from a previous relationship.

Before I really get feelings for this girl a few things caught my eye, her Facebook is very private, nothing from her life just selling things but her friends are also private so I can't see if there's like 100 dudes on there.

Last night as I was in a taxi going to meet her I saw a girl leaving a restaurant who looked like her, with the same bag, with a guy. Now maybe I'm super paranoid as I don't think a girl would be crazy enough to set up a meeting with me tell me to get a taxi to her place while in a restaurant?

She has told me about things with her family but has never asked for money, am I being too cautious? Are my own problems putting off something that could be good?

Are you sure is she there with a guy out from resstaurant?
If yes. You can ask her aboout the guy in polite way.

G'day
Hope your enjoying your holiday.   You've only known of this girl for "5 minutes"  Ok.....only been socially acquainted a few times, met her on Tinder and her English is good. 
Generally girls here on Tinder are trouble.   All the skanks I know are on Tinder and the good ones I know aren't.   

That should tell you something. 

Just enjoy the holiday,  go with the flow, don't marry anyone and if the conversation turns to family misfortune regarding money......that would be a good time to leave the table , go take a piss & don't go back.

Yogi007 :

Generally girls here on Tinder are trouble.   All the skanks I know are on Tinder and the good ones I know aren't.

I have to Google to find out what Tinder is.  First time I heard of it. Gosh, I'm old!

Ciambella :
Yogi007 :

Generally girls here on Tinder are trouble.   All the skanks I know are on Tinder and the good ones I know aren't.

I have to Google to find out what Tinder is.  First time I heard of it. Gosh, I'm old!

Less you have to do with it the better.
My Vietkieu neighbour lives on it....and is an authority on dating apps.   He's convinced most women here on it are hookers.🤓

I like this guy,,he's given me the heads up on just about everything around here.

Not sure, it was a quick look from the taxi, I asked her and she said it wasn't her but who knows

Yes just going to enjoy it, not planning on marrying anyone, we are just friends, just don't want to waste time investing in something that could potentially be a complete waste of time. I have seen your posts on here before, does the story I tell sound like one of these girls that has ATM boyfriends? She has told me she dated American and French people before and did the whole long distance thing which I am not keen on at all.

Surely if you went past her at the restaurant on the way to hers and she was there when you got there, there can't be any chance that she beat you back, can there?

You say that her Facebook is very private, aren't you friends on Facebook if you've been out a couple of times?

Sounds ok, but I think you're right, wouldn't commit to anything that you don't want to sustain.

Only have one piece of advice to give you.  Keep it commercial.

Otherwise, if she "isn't that kind of girl", run a mile when she asks you for money for her sick brother / sick mother / sick cow/goat/chicken, rent etc etc.

I have experience on these girl....usually we only heard that a man have fews GF but here is opposite...the girl here can have fews bf too. They can tell you alot of story about her problem and wait you to say "i can help you some money" once you said this word then you finish.

Meet the girl at Vietnam must not rush...just begin with friend then observe. There some tips for you....1st the girl must have job..2nd see what phone and motorbike she use...3th see if she willing to give you see her phone or not...and see she have many social apps account or not. If she have so many secret to you then just give up on this girl...if she true to you she will let you know everything...

My wife is Vietnamese she is third girl i met in Vietnam.. every country also same...have bad girl also have bad man...not all is bad and not all is good..don't use 1 stick hit the whole boat....Just give more time to know each other then you will realize.

Final advise...no free lunch in Vietnam.

BoscoLoo :

I have experience on these girl....usually we only heard that a man have fews GF but here is opposite...the girl here can have fews bf too. They can tell you alot of story about her problem and wait you to say "i can help you some money" once you said this word then you finish.

Meet the girl at Vietnam must not rush...just begin with friend then observe. There some tips for you....1st the girl must have job..2nd see what phone and motorbike she use...3th see if she willing to give you see her phone or not...and see she have many social apps account or not. If she have so many secret to you then just give up on this girl...if she true to you she will let you know everything...

My wife is Vietnamese she is third girl i met in Vietnam.. every country also same...have bad girl also have bad man...not all is bad and not all is good..don't use 1 stick hit the whole boat....Just give more time to know each other then you will realize.

Final advise...no free lunch in Vietnam.

So you're judging someone on the quality of their phone and the quality of their bike? Seems like a good way to go about things.

In terms of seeing if she gives you her phone, there is being paranoid & insecure but this just takes the piss to be honest.

I don't understand this mentality at all, what girl in there right mind would you let you go through their phone and more to the point why would you want to? Relationships are built on trust, not how many social apps that you've got. For godness sake.

Maybe i am not explain why i pointed this and causes you misunderstanding what i mean.

yes true relationships should built on trust...that is what i wish too also what i think before i realized everything here...but also should not blindly trust. Here a lot of Fishergirl and Girlhunter is waiting...they usually no need to work but have a lot of financial support to go shpping but not from family because they still need to support her family. Imagine that a girl still need support her family and not working or even work. What she earn is different to what she have...this is if you're living here and observe then you will understand. I mean if both has been engage in relationship then it not a privacy of seeing each other mobile information. If a normal girls or guys i believe their phone just more games apps then social apps...unless she need so much social apps as her tools. All this just my experience before  ... as i said also not all is hunting your trust...i still believe there also have good girls.. just be-cautious.

I can't speak for everyone. I can only tell you that I have been happily married to a lovely Vietnamese lady for about 18 monthes now and they have been some of the happiest months of my life (57 years worth). She is priceless to me. Honest, faithful, hard working and much more. Of course, I'm not saying she is perfect (neither am I) but still I would not trade her in for all the gold in the world (or anything else).

   I hope your experience turns out as good as mine has.

1312j Motorbike is quicker then taxi haha, we are friends on Facebook but all of her friends are hidden somehow

Bosocoloo I have been told her ex boyfriend used to look in her phone all the time, no trust etc so they split up.

Dbrutter I'm glad you found a good one

Yogi loves this stuff.
So where are we now...she's had previous foreign boyfriends,  you've already found out the last bloke flicked her because he couldn't trust her, there's issues about the phone etc..

This is just normal.   It's all a game .

A guy steps off a plane in SE Asia.  He's on Tinder looking for women before sundown.
That girl will know this, and she'll also know that MOST foreign single men coming to this part of the world usually fall into the categorys of sex tourist, porn jackers, uncle boners, lonely creepy old men and drunks.   You do get the odd exception occasionally.

In your case, your probably a party boy looking for a good time.  You've gone to Tinder which is basically a hook up service.   

Don't read anymore into it than that.   

Your here for a holiday and want some entertainment, she knows that too.

Boscolo made a very shrewd comment and it's close to the mark.
NO FREE LUNCH in Vietnam

This sounds very much like a 'if you go to the toilet you smell poop' sort of thing.
Hang on dodgy sites known for sex selling/scammers and so on and you're very likely to find a pro and/or rip off artists.
Same goes for the bar scene - trying to pick up a nice girl in a dodgy bar is unlikely to come to much because nice girls don't go to dodgy bars.

I hear the same old story time and time again, the silly man sees a nice body and it's in lust at first sight but his wallet quickly empties and she's away to find the next fool.

That isn't to suggest all Asian women are bad news, but the ones who use dodgy sites and/or hang in dodgy bars are very likely to be after your cash and are commonly willing to let you park Mr naughty in their garage until your cash runs out.

Very succinct, Fred!  :D

Yogi007 :

Yogi loves this stuff.

Yogi and subtle live in different cities and have never met but Yogi sleeps with accurate and does naughty things with her in every post.

Freddie boy.....if Yogi had even the slightest comprehension of what accuracy in life means ....I wouldn't be in the situation I am now. 😆

But this puddle of shite smells a lot better than the last one.  So that's a plus.

She won't let me hold her hand until I ask her to be my girlfriend, let alone park mr naughty in the garage. I'm happy to pay for our meal when we are out but if she starts asking for money I'll walk

So she wants you to Officially ask her to be your GF, before any high fives, ass pinching etc.    That also makes you her BF, makes you feel all warm & fuzzy eh.....you've hit a home run, your the apple of her eye.  She's your woman & your her man.  Your both now officially OFF the market & can sleep soundly...???

The Tinder logo is a 🔥 flame.  A good place to get burnt .

Another little thing to consider.
There is NO such thing as an Ex foreign boyfriend .   These guys are always on call, they never really disappear......even the VN ones hang around like a bad smell.

They keep bobbing up like one of those turds that won't flush.🤓

The American & French guy , and likely more from Tinder will probably always be in the loop.   These guys are usually seasonal visitors and always return to the scene of the crime. 

Probably the best thing you can do is find a hooker that has good English, have some fun and get some advice from her.  You'll be surprised at what she'll suggest.

Yogi007 :

So she wants you to Officially ask her to be your GF, before any high fives, ass pinching etc.    That also makes you her BF, makes you feel all warm & fuzzy eh.....you've hit a home run, your the apple of her eye.  She's your woman & your her man.  Your both now officially OFF the market & can sleep soundly...???

The Tinder logo is a 🔥 flame.  A good place to get burnt .

Another little thing to consider.
There is NO such thing as an Ex foreign boyfriend .   These guys are always on call, they never really disappear......even the VN ones hang around like a bad smell.

They keep bobbing up like one of those turds that won't flush.🤓

The American & French guy , and likely more from Tinder will probably always be in the loop.   These guys are usually seasonal visitors and always return to the scene of the crime. 

Probably the best thing you can do is find a hooker that has good English, have some fun and get some advice from her.  You'll be surprised at what she'll suggest.

In short - keep it commercial!

QUOTE
There is NO such thing as an Ex foreign boyfriend .
UNQUOTE
Good point. Or an ex-foreign husband. A woman I use to know still wants to keep her hooks into her ex-husband of 38 years.

ralphnhatrang :

QUOTE
There is NO such thing as an Ex foreign boyfriend .
UNQUOTE
Good point. Or an ex-foreign husband. A woman I use to know still wants to keep her hooks into her ex-husband of 38 years.

That happens in the States with American women too.  My spouse's ex-wife left him in 1982 to find greener pasture.  She did, several years later, with someone who was 33 years her senior and who agreeably passed a way 5 years into the marriage, leaving her all of his many worldly goods.  Since then, she has been turning to her ex-husband for help on everything imaginable, from dealing with tenant problems to flying to Italy to bring her home when she was ill on a trip.  She continued calling even years after her ex became my permanence, even after we moved overseas the first time. 

We've been married for 21 years now, which means they've not being together for 35 years.  Three months ago when we came back to the States for a family-obligation summer trip, she rang and talked to my spouse for almost two hours.  I listened to the conversation from his end, hearing it was more or less about the same woes that she's suffering, and left him to deal with it.  I had better things to do than being bothered by some wacko woman.

Dangib :

she is beautiful, seems kind and very family oriented.

Yes there is an abundance of women like that. Maybe caught you by surprise.

seemingly innocent good girls turning out to have multiple boyfriends for money etc.

There are no innocents. A good thing bc internet - besides innocent sounds like ignorant. People can be good and not be innocent.

I have only been here a week

Yeah but you sound a little worried about losing her already. That is a scarcity mindset and it will cause you to make rash decisions, and also exaggerate your fears.

This girl seems like [the] kind of woman I could marry

Maybe unlike the women you are used to back home.

don't want to waste my time if I'm being taken for a ride.

Life is exploring, learning, taking risks, enjoy your holiday, jeez.

She helps her mum everyday on the market, sells clothes online and works in a women's fashion shop when needed, the times we have been out there is little affection with touching my arm or face but holding hands is off the table and she always asks to go home before 11pm and doesn't drink or smoke...

Her English is ok and she says thing s wrong sometimes but we both laugh and I try to teach her the correct way to say words and she teaches me Vietnamese. From what I've read these are all signs of a good girl but I have trust issues from a previous relationship.

Dude those are all good signs.

her Facebook is very private

She sounds like you, cautious.

I saw a girl leaving a restaurant who looked like her, with the same bag, with a guy. Now maybe I'm super paranoid

Agreed, paranoid. Being here only a week, Asian girls mostly look the same to you.

She has told me about things with her family but has never asked for money, am I being too cautious? Are my own problems putting off something that could be good?

One step at a time for both of you. Go home and maybe things will progress over skype.

If you are looking for help to define a stereotype of millions of young Vietnamese women, this girl's good qualities is a far closer approximation than the rumors of rampant gold diggers you have heard.

And do us a favor and let us know how things wind up in a month :top:

gobot :
Dangib :

she is beautiful, seems kind and very family oriented.

Yes there is an abundance of women like that. Maybe caught you by surprise.

seemingly innocent good girls turning out to have multiple boyfriends for money etc.

There are no innocents. A good thing bc internet - besides innocent sounds like ignorant. People can be good and not be innocent.

I have only been here a week

Yeah but you sound a little worried about losing her already. That is a scarcity mindset and it will cause you to make rash decisions, and also exaggerate your fears.

This girl seems like [the] kind of woman I could marry

Maybe unlike the women you are used to back home.

don't want to waste my time if I'm being taken for a ride.

Life is exploring, learning, taking risks, enjoy your holiday, jeez.

She helps her mum everyday on the market, sells clothes online and works in a women's fashion shop when needed, the times we have been out there is little affection with touching my arm or face but holding hands is off the table and she always asks to go home before 11pm and doesn't drink or smoke...

Her English is ok and she says thing s wrong sometimes but we both laugh and I try to teach her the correct way to say words and she teaches me Vietnamese. From what I've read these are all signs of a good girl but I have trust issues from a previous relationship.

Dude those are all good signs.

her Facebook is very private

She sounds like you, cautious.

I saw a girl leaving a restaurant who looked like her, with the same bag, with a guy. Now maybe I'm super paranoid

Agreed, paranoid. Being here only a week, Asian girls mostly look the same to you.

She has told me about things with her family but has never asked for money, am I being too cautious? Are my own problems putting off something that could be good?

One step at a time for both of you. Go home and maybe things will progress over skype.

If you are looking for help to define a stereotype of millions of young Vietnamese women, this girl's good qualities is a far closer approximation than the rumors of rampant gold diggers you have heard.

And do us a favor and let us know how things wind up in a month :top:

Couldn't put it better myself.

To the OP. Take your time. If a Vietnam girl is honest and reliable she will take her time getting to know you. You could do well to continue the relationship online after your holiday.

FYI - asian women look at their BFs and husbands cell phones and you can tell yourself otherwise, but she will get it and you will not even know.  Welcome to Asia. :)

Another cultural quirk is that if you have any bills, letters or documents lying on the table, VN visitors will casually pick them up and peruse every one.

ralphnhatrang :

Another cultural quirk is that if you have any bills, letters or documents lying on the table, VN visitors will casually pick them up and peruse every one.

Hi Ralph,
Curios little buggers aren't they.  You can use that to your advantage.

Just make up some fake Invioces for your new Rolls Royce,  print your own bank statements & add a few zeros, etc etc.....and just leave them lying around on the coffee table while you are on a bathroom visit or whatever.   😆

And then let nature take its course.

I am away from home right now in a foreign place and 2 days ago I met a gentleman of similar age to me. Turns out that he is married to a Vietnamese girl younger than him and they live not far away from where I live in Vietnam.

We were sitting chatting over coffee in the evening and he received a Skype call from his  wife, who wanted to know where he was, what he was doing, was he with a girl, was he drinking beer (no chance of that here) and she told him not to spend too much money....

Almost word for word the same conversation I had with my wife by Skype when I arrived here last week.

Now ,I used to be uncomfortable with all that stuff when we first got together, however I now realise that they do feel insecure when we are away.

I have also now had several years of experience of seeing how my wife handles money. I have never been profligate with dosh, but she is positively miserly. I gave her 100 US dollars whilst we were out one day last year, to buy herself some sun glasses with. When I saw that she hadn't bought sunglasses after several days  I asked her why not. She replied " sunglasses not essential" and she still has that 100 bucks in her purse a year later.

This care with money is also seen, as someone else has said above, when she peruses every bill and every receipt with a gimlet eye. She will not pay tax on a restaurant bill unless the bill is a red bill and she has saved me hundreds of dollars over the years  finding "mistakes" on bar and restaurant bills and purchases.

When I wanted to buy a 1 terabyte external memory for my laptop, we went to a computer shop and priced one at the equivalent of 86 dollars . Having seen what I wanted she went into another computer shop without me and bought the same make and model of memory drive for 60 USD. As she remarked afterwards, "all shop in Vn same same - see foreigner, put price up".

And I can honestly say that everything we have bought for the house over the years is top quality, but reasonably priced. When we decided to buy two new fans a few weeks ago, we went to the big electrical retailers in D1 and priced two Senko remotely operated  fans with 2 years manufacturers warranty, at 1.2 million Dong each. She stopped me from buying them immediately and the next day went off on her motorbike and found exactly the same model of Senko remote control fans with two years manufacturers warranty, for 600,000 dong each in a small electrical dealers in D9, close to where we live.

I used to think she was being a pain in the bewtocks with her constantly examining everything but I now recognise that she is just looking after her investments - and looking after me - her biggest investment.

And I know that she has to put up with rude comments from "friends", neighbours and strangers about being married to a foreigner e.g. "how can you have sex when he so big and you so small" and, e.g. "aren't all foreigners dirty? They never seem to wash or shower" or, e.g. "Foreigners so dirty, never take shoe off in house" (from someone who parks her motorbike in her living room at night). And so on. All of which she stoically ignores.

eodmatt :

I am away from home right now in a foreign place and 2 days ago I met a gentleman of similar age to me. Turns out that he is married to a Vietnamese girl younger than him and they live not far away from where I live in Vietnam.

We were sitting chatting over coffee in the evening and he received a Skype call from his  wife, who wanted to know where he was, what he was doing, was he with a girl, was he drinking beer (no chance of that here) and she told him not to spend too much money....

Almost word for word the same conversation I had with my wife by Skype when I arrived here last week.

Now ,I used to be uncomfortable with all that stuff when we first got together, however I now realise that they do feel insecure when we are away.

I have also now had several years of experience of seeing how my wife handles money. I have never been profligate with dosh, but she is positively miserly. I gave her 100 US dollars whilst we were out one day last year, to buy herself some sun glasses with. When I saw that she hadn't bought sunglasses after several days  I asked her why not. She replied " sunglasses not essential" and she still has that 100 bucks in her purse a year later.

This care with money is also seen, as someone else has said above, when she peruses every bill and every receipt with a gimlet eye. She will not pay tax on a restaurant bill unless the bill is a red bill and she has saved me hundreds of dollars over the years  finding "mistakes" on bar and restaurant bills and purchases.

When I wanted to buy a 1 terabyte external memory for my laptop, we went to a computer shop and priced one at the equivalent of 86 dollars . Having seen what I wanted she went into another computer shop without me and bought the same make and model of memory drive for 60 USD. As she remarked afterwards, "all shop in Vn same same - see foreigner, put price up".

And I can honestly say that everything we have bought for the house over the years is top quality, but reasonably priced. When we decided to buy two new fans a few weeks ago, we went to the big electrical retailers in D1 and priced two Senko remotely operated  fans with 2 years manufacturers warranty, at 1.2 million Dong each. She stopped me from buying them immediately and the next day went off on her motorbike and found exactly the same model of Senko remote control fans with two years manufacturers warranty, for 600,000 dong each in a small electrical dealers in D9, close to where we live.

I used to think she was being a pain in the bewtocks with her constantly examining everything but I now recognise that she is just looking after her investments - and looking after me - her biggest investment.

And I know that she has to put up with rude comments from "friends", neighbours and strangers about being married to a foreigner e.g. "how can you have sex when he so big and you so small" and, e.g. "aren't all foreigners dirty? They never seem to wash or shower" or, e.g. "Foreigners so dirty, never take shoe off in house" (from someone who parks her motorbike in her living room at night). And so on. All of which she stoically ignores.

I love the bit about not taking their shoes off.

This coming from many women who still think that water and a rag is what you use to clean a bathroom and toilet.

My wife worked as a restaurant cook/waitress for nine years and can instantly check a bill in milliseconds. Amazing, really. And she won't let me near a shop, because shop owners instantly treble the price for foreigners. Instead, my wife gives me an order, "I'm going shopping now, go and have a beer!"  Ah, life's tough.

eodmatt :

She replied " sunglasses not essential" and she still has that 100 bucks in her purse a year later.

Sorry to go off topic but your otherwise apparently wise spouse is dead wrong on this one.  Every ophthalmologist I have ever dealt with in Hawaii said that to help protect against cataracts, everyone of every age should wear sunglasses outside.  If they have plastic lenses, they need UV protection added to the lenses.  Honolulu is at 21 N while HCMC is at 10 N so the UV factor is worse.  This is surely reflected in the statistics that show Vietnam has higher cataract rates than other places in Asia, particularly compared to North Asia.  http://global-disease-burden.healthgrov … in-Vietnam

If you can't get your wife to buy high quality sunglasses from a good optical shop (as opposed to high priced fashion glasses) have her check on the price of cataract surgery.   :cool:

THIGV :

Every ophthalmologist I have ever dealt with in Hawaii said that to help protect against cataracts, everyone of every age should wear sunglasses outside.  If they have plastic lenses, they need UV protection added to the lenses.  Honolulu is at 21 N while HCMC is at 10 N so the UV factor is worse.

I wholeheartedly agree with THIGV on this.  My ophthalmologist in Southern California said the exact same thing.  She specifically stated that since I'd only worn sunglasses occasionally (and only the fashionable but not well-protected ones) for so many years, it's not if but when cataracts will happen -- there was already some slight damage in my eyes, she said.  She showed me a slide presentation of all stages of cataract symptoms and development, where my eyes were heading next, and it's an awakening call.

Since then, I've never stepped one foot outside of our home without my prescription sunglasses.

Right guys, thats a sobering thought!

Agree with the above. I have worn sunglasses all my life having worked outdoors in the harsh Australian sun. It took me time to convince my wife that she should do the same. She now puts them on automatically when we leave the house. Your sight is your most important sense, losing it would create a much lower level of lifestyle.

Yogi007 :

...this puddle of shite smells a lot better than the last one.  So that's a plus.

Yogi007 :

...And then let nature take its course.

:offtopic: Talking of nature. Is it true what they say......

Do bears [do their business] in the woods?

No, bears are Catholics. It's the Pope what craps in the woods.

Whichever way you look at it. Altar boys are never safe.

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