Just need some emotional advices....

Welcome on Expat.com ardnaxela

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Maybe he just needs some time. If you truly had a great relationship, one that was great for both of you, then he'll realize this...hopefully much sooner rather than later.

We men are interesting creatures that way; we get "tied" down and think that we're missing out on something, when in all actuality what we truly want and need has been by our side the whole time.

I know these aren't words of comfort but maybe they can be a small insight into the male mind.

Best of luck, I hope he realizes what a special person you are!

hello hope youre feeling better now. in brief if you want to get over it you would need to start up an ew relationship.this i sthe only way to forget in my openion.adam

hi ardnaxela,

Hope you are feeling lighter and better , as the saying goes " what goes around always comes around"..if he truly loved (or loves) you or has a special place for you he will come around..after all 1 year relationship is long period..

sometime distance is also a remedy for some issues...i know its tough at your end but if you show your vulnerability he is going to ahead with this

You know what happens when you try to hold the sand to tight in your hand it slips out more..so give him his breathing room..you are an independent and good looking (i believe) girl you could be better off him..

Another point i could mention is the "friend"...if he wants you to be his friend , could be that he trust you and he knows you be there when world turn around on him...

So celebrate this freedom ..go have fun..One thing i believe is."EVERY THING HAPPENS FOR A REASON , FOR A GOOD CAUSE" may be he was not the one you were destined to...take it this way and smile..cheers

Hey Alec

Hope you are feeling better... Its a beautiful world out there.. Its ok to feel hurt, but after the grieving, you gotta move on..

This too shall pass...

If there's anything we as family can do..you know for some moral support or a warm home cooked meal or something..just holler

TAKE CARE OF URSELF..

Cyber hugs.

Hey naxela,

this is the worst part of being in love..when you are in love you could swim oceans but it fades we suffocate... i very well know its very tough..but its phase...if you could pass through it ..next time your approach will be mare mature..

Now lets forget about all this..lets look for solutions..after reading ur profile i believe you a single mom...you already have someone to shower all your love and care...

Another thing that you could do is some activity to make urself busy with and stop thinking about him..is there any thing you wanted to do or pursue for long but couldn find the time..now is the perfect time to venture into it...just put ue mind into it..and you will feel urself leftout or missing..

take care and smile..

freakyraga

who said live is fair ???? live is pain and happiness, we will always find pain that is why we must create and find happyness time to make it more than the pain we have and to continue life

you re welcome )

i have the same feeling toward to a gurl and i stopped talking to her. how to beat that feeling ?

good for u

Hi Ardnaxela and Comet

May be you should get together sometime.... lol. At a minimum you could be friends ;-)

On a more serious note... time heals... Ardy.. in your particular case... being a guy I can give you a better advise... this guy definitely does not care for you.. he views you as a convenience friend... and you had two choices.. either treat him the same way (which is harder for girls) or tell him to go ... himself. I think at this time the second is the only option.

I understand while you may not be ready yet for a meaningful relationship... or even close friendship... you should try to avoid being alone.. unfortunately you live in UAE.. so it is harder to have a strong social network... but what you should do is enjoy single life... i mean go out there... hang our with friends... bitch about guys... bla bla bla... do some sports... and dont forget about dear ones... he is a passing thing.. and you will find someone much better ;-)....

In the future try not to fall in love with people who dont love you :-)...

Sorry, perhaps I had a bit of a jursh advice... but you need to be tough on yourself... and be socialble.. and the right guy will come... or just dont let yourself fall in love.... Finally you could make it clear to next guy that you are looking for an exclussive... before you get kissy kissy ;-)

In summary - go out there... have a good time.. be in touch with loved ones... and friends... do some sports..spend some time studying and/or improving yourself... pursue career advancement opportunities...watch lots of comedies.. preferably with your friends... and when you have really bad day - have an icecream (in reasonable quantities)lol.. whatever you do - do not let yourself feel miserable or have bad thoughts... there are 6 billion people on the Earth.. and i am sure there are millions you could be happy with :-).. so cheer up .. and enjoy life.. it is too short to spend it in misery.

You will be fine !!!

wise

You got feelings for him.. so you should try to avoid him.. if you did not care.. it'd be different.. you should tell him that you are not interested and you have already found a more mature friend..

It all depends on the strength of your character.. you see.. he did wrong to you .. not the other way around.. plus he is not sorry either.. so why bother.. you are just a convenience for him... you should understand guys mentality to avoid being intangled.. if you are cool.. then go for it.. but i got a feeling you are not cool when it comes to him.. and you'd be kidding yourself... find someone else.. or just have more friends and keep yourself busy... the best medicine though is to find someone else.. even if you are not very serious about him.. he would take your thoughts away from your "lover boy"...


But really.. 6 bln ppl.. and you can find someone you like.. trust me... just statistically there are milllion ppl out there better than him.. milions ppl you dont even know.. or dont even bother to know... by not giving them a chance.. you should find someone else.. and someone better.. someone who respects you more. Throw away everything that reminds you about him.. then go do something useful with your life... and then may years from now.. when you are truly indifferent to him.. just may be you can become normal friends.. but really next time you have a friend with benefits.. .dont fall in love.. not until he falls for you...

I tell you the best way women work out guys...

1. Meet someone nice... be flirty.. but not annoying... he should see a woman in you.. but not a dumb one... make fun of him sometimes.. but sometimes genuinly show concern... he should see you are not only a pretty woman.. but also someone he can talk to... but of course prime instincts come first.. but they die off faster.. so the real ancher is "who you truly are"

2. Give him a taster - whatever that means

3. Then "close the shop"...lol... and say you want to know him better...

4. Then put him on a "yo-yo" string until he completely falls in love with you

5. Then tear him into pieces



Lol... sorry I am in a funny mood... hence my choice of words...but really the above works

You dont need luck.. you just need to sort out your priorities and what you want out of a relationship.. and as long as you are clear to yourself.. then you will be fine. Just keep it cool and keep it real ;-)

One needs luck when he/she fights cancer.... or surviving war.. you dont need luck - you need to get your s**t together.. lol.. pardon my French.. but basically get your head together... that's all - and get out of your "short curcuit".. otherwise it will suck you in like a vortex

OMG... you are pregnant... sorry for pushing you.. i thought things were a lot less complicated.. i thought you just had a baby from before...

mmmmmm... it is the whole new story... it changes the entire advise... .. you should confront him then.. he should bear the responsibility then.. you should definitely tell him.. or consider abortion (if it is very early pregnancy) at a very minimum he owes you alimonies.. wow... this is totally different then.. he owes you.. that for sure.. he should know... and he should take responsibility... and if not.. then you should consider all your options.. i mean if he does not love you there is no point of him taking responsibility.. but you should really think through your options.. Even better... ask for an advise from your close family.. i know it may be tough.. but it is the right thing to do. Talk to someone you can trust in your family.. like sister or something.

And pls forget my previous advise.. it was relevant for a different situation.. i am sorry ... ignore it completely.. this is different and I know nothing about this kind of situations. All I know is that i'd really think of the options i got.. and definitely confront the guy...

so what are you doing to do now ?

@ardnaxela, you really have to move on.I know your situation is difficult but you have to move. Don't waste your time to someone who doesn't deserve your love and attention.

THE ART OF LETTING GO

To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving. It only means that you allow that person to find his own HAPPINESS, without expecting him/her to come back.

Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all fears, bitterness, hatred and anger that you keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may have found peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness' come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

You don't have to be bitter on love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.

Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.

Always remember that IF YOU LOSE SOMEONE TODAY, IT MEANS THAT SOMEONE BETTER IS COMING TOMORROW. If you lose love it doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

“When you lose someone…"and you think you were the one who loved most, between the two of you…he/she lost more. For someday you can love someone the way you loved him/her…But he/she will never be loved again the way you did…"

NO no no.. you got it all wrong.. HE HAS TO KNOW... you cant do it like this.. then you would be the one committing "wrongdoing"... of course he has to know.. now it does not mean you have to dangle after him.. but he has to know.... he CERTAINLY has to know... you owe this to the baby... and if you were to keep the baby.. at least you could confidently tell the baby that you did your best... you can bypass that stage.. be strong.. and all that "let go and let them be happy " business... forget it... if he is not willing to accept responsibility.. then to hell with him.. you find someone decent instead....BUT ...., B U T     he has to know... this would be so unfair to him and to the baby... you can't do that.... you do the right things... you do your part... let him decide if he wants to do the right thing or not.

btw/.... I agree with some of mariecor saying.. but he has to know ... otherwise the entire fault is going to lie on your shoulders..... i dont know if you wnt to live with that for the rest of your life.

Hi there.... i see what you mean.... first of all you still got family back home.. or childhood friend.. or whoever...

But the more important issue is that you have to tell him.. it does not matter what you told him before.. .what test showed before....what matters is truth... however cliche that sounds.... and he has the right to know.. and your baby (if you were to keep the baby) has the right to know that Mam tried her best.

Look at it this way.. you are not asking him.. or begging him.. you are giving him an opportunity.. and this is up to him what he is going to do with this opportunity.

In the end do what's right for you.. but my personal opinion is that you should do the right thing.. this is on your concious.. then live the decisions on his concious.. and if he does not see future with you... then just tell him off... move on... and never look back... cause when one door closes - two open ;-)

I will repeat the quote mentioned earlier "Always remember that IF YOU LOSE SOMEONE TODAY, IT MEANS THAT SOMEONE BETTER IS COMING TOMORROW.", This is really true.. and this is how life works.

redbull1978 is right! You have to tell the man that you are preggy...but dont beg or run after him if he doesn't want to take the responsibility. Don't show weak to him...just be strong....then move on. It will just be difficult at the start...believe me, you will overcome all those heartaches.

In order for you to move on, forget about the happy memories you had with him and think all the bad/ negative ones.As I can see, that man just want only one thing from you...you know what I mean!

It's great to hear that you're feeling better! God bless you too!

Yeah Mariecor is right... to be honest... the decision to keep baby was yours... it is not that you discussed and agreed on it... so you cant blame him either... but he had to know.. and you did the right thing.... if he loves you (and thst what really matters at the end of the day)he will come to you.... if he does not .. well you are better off wihtout him.. besides happiness in its purest form lasts only for a few seconds.. so you are not misssing out... lol.. i know sounds depressing... but it is true. stability and inner peace.. deeper love.. and satisfaction will come in your life as well.. with the right person.. at the right time.. it will happen.. just keep your mind open... love yourself.. then you will be able to love others.. respect yourself .. then you will respect others... and beyond everything.. maintain your "mental toughness" and common sense... do the right things.. ok.. you can slip sometimes.. i mean we are human being.. but overall .. try to stick to the course ;-).... with God's help everything is going to be alright... but again.. if you have an options..thinks through them with a cool head.. understand what your true motivations are.. sometimes we even manage to lie to ourselves.. and that undermines our self-awareness and ability to make right choices.. so try not to loose ground under your feet... and not to act emotionally.. but rather rationally...

As for the heartache..it will settle.. it might seem like the end of life... but it is far from it... you will be just fine...

btw.. sorry I am talking too much.. lol... but DO NOT isolate yourself.. this is critical.. stay in touch.. share your feelings... that's what friends are for.. you should hang out with Mariecor.. she seems that she knows what she is talking about.. seriously.. you should hang out.. i know it might seem odd a bit at first.. but then it will settle down