Dominicans and money

I have a question for those who have or have had successful relationships with Dominicans. How do you teach a Dominican the value of money? What methods have you used to teach them about budgets?
I have been with the same girl for close to 2 years now. I have lived on the island close to 5 years and been through my learning curve so I get the whole sankie / sankette thing and that is not a problem. The problem is, I fill her (ours but I don't use it) account with money around the 1rst of the month (150K RD) which I believe is more than adequate but it seems every month she is out of money by the 2nd week. I have tried everything i could think of, making her bring me receipts for everything, checking the account everyday and discussing it, having her call me before spending anything over 10K a week, and other things but nothing has seemed to work. I am going to go back to a weekly allowance and not let her use the bank but there seems to be a valuable lesson to be learned here if I can figure out a way to show it to her. Any help?

Greetings Astray

In regarding your question I would like to say that there are two clear segments on the population: the ones that cares and the one that DO NOT, unfortunately , the biggest group is the one that do not care at ALL about spending.

I personally run into the same situation and i learned that is a waste of time try to teach an old dog tricks. If you really feel that you want to keep this relationship do yourself a favor, save time and do some adjustments on your end: going back on the allowance is a wonderful idea. start using your bank account and do the payments yourself directly thru online banking (bill, rent, etc) will be easier, faster and less expensive.

I don not your living standards, however 150.000 is way to much money for locals. the more they see the more they want. Bottom line: take yourself as much control you can on the finances and enjoy a wonderful time with your soulmate, but keep business as much of you can out the equation.

Disclaimer: I do not want to offend or judge nobody on any form, way or fashion, is just my personal opinion base on my interactions with locals.

That is a massive amount of money!!!! What the heck is she doing with it all?

Sorry she should get permission to spend more than 2,000 rd.

Take back control as money burns holes in pockets here. Pay the bills yourself electronically and if you cannot then she needs to be on a strict allowance! I cannot imagine what it being spent on!

Sorry to say she is not spending it, she is saving it Saving it to buy a house, SUV etc. for when she leaves you. Then she will find another Sugar Daddy. Does she live with you? If so, it's even worse. Give her RD 10,000 per month if she does & even that is too much. If she lives apart from you in a high rent abode, move her into a less expensive apartment. Does she live alone or share a place? Does she ever buy you gifts or take you out to dinner.  In other words does any of that fortune ever return to you?  The average local lives on less than$400 US a month & you are giving her over three thousand dollars a month, something is amiss!!!   It is YOU who needs to understand the value of money, nOT her!!!   She understands it all too well. Be glad that you can afford to piss away that much money.  By the way, what are, if any the age differences? Forgive me, but I have grave doubts about the viability of this relationship.  Good luck with you problem.

Hahahaja i have met very very few Dominicans capable of saving money.

If you have been in this for 2 years and you've seen receipts what is she spending this on???

Tell us more - do you live together ir is this just her? Kids? Schools?  Where?

We are not here to judge but to try to shed light so you can make your choices.


I wish I had someone dropping that into my bank account every month.  Woo hoo!

I know several local women who did just that. Some can see the future & plan for it. Some were married, others not. Life can be like a game of Black Jack, it is always better to be the dealer.  Deal yourself a winning hand or your heart can be broken as well as your bank.  Deal, don't shoot craps.

Exception rather then the rule, for sure!!!

How well I know!

In order to give you sound advice, you would need to tell us a bit more.  I will share my own experience.  I have been in my relationship 6 years, I pay 75% of the rent, my girl pays 25% covers the monthly internet bill and shares the groceries.  When I'm there for the most part I do the food shopping, but she still brings home some of the smaller items.  We do go out from time to time, and every so often we do the resort thing.  My point of sharing this is to say:  A good woman is going to invest in you, and will handle your money a bit more carefully.  I do not know how old this woman is, or her financial/educational background, but you will have to consider these things before trying to teach fiscal responsibility.  If she is a young chica  from the country or the barrio, she will lack the sophistication needed to spend the money wisely.  I witness the same thing every time I'm there, folks dressed to a T, but no food at home, or riding fancy motor bikes, but no cash to buy gas.  If you have lived there for the amount of time you claim, then you would know that the average Dominican has a : Live for today mentality, because they do not know what will happen tomorrow.   I have found for the most part, people do not truly appreciate what is achieved too easily.  Please let her invest some of her own money and perhaps she might begin to understand the value of it if she is not doing so currently.  A woman is less likely to leave if she is invested in you, but if she is not, then don't let the backdraft knock you over when she does!
      It is hard to teach someone the value of money, when it is simply given to them.  I hate to say this, but you creating a pattern, which you are going to find hard to break later on; Just give her enough cash for the basic needs, and when you are in town, perhaps you can do a bit more, but at least you are having fun with her. My comments are not made as judgement, but simply as perspective from a different angle. Please do come back and share a bit more.

Wow, thanks for all the replies. OK more information:
Yes we do live together. She rents  house for a family of 4 in SD. (mom, sister, brother (handicaped) and child) and I have a place on the North Coast. We split our time about 50/50 each place, although when I am gone (anywhere from 0-15 days a month) she stays in SD.
I have only been handling the money this way for the last few months. She does spend a lot of it on me , clothes mostly, and she will ask if I want her to pay for Dinner or whatever we are doing when we are alone. When we are with her family she automatically pays for everything.
Where does it go? She has about 40K in rent/school/electricity/phones/internet/etc. The rest goes to cosmetic items/procedures, jewelry, furniture etc.(I think i may have shot myself in foot showing her about good wine) Things that are OK to spend on but you need to save for them or only when you have discretionary funds.
I am ready to go back to the weekly allowance but as I said, its not about the money, there is plenty of it out there, I would rather her learn how to budget, only because it will help her the rest of her life.
Massagewiz- I couldn't agree with you more, people do spend there last peso to look good rather than the important things, but they do the same thing in the states as well.
All- Don't worry about offending me, I would not have posted personal maters if I wasn't prepared for some blows so hit away, but please, if anyone has an idea I would very much like to read it.

Having read all the responses I have to agree 150K is an amazing amount.  My wife and I live quite well on that amount.
You will never teach her about fiscal responsibility, so stop banging your head in the wall.  Instead just accept it and go back to an allowance each week. 
Bob K

It must be a great feeling knowing that you are supporting someone else's family. A wonderful thing to have "plenty of money out there". Relent & let go of the idea of teaching her about the value of money, she already knows how to spend it.  I wish you well in your quest for reality.

Greetings Astray, glad to see you return and provide a bit more info.  I must agree with you on the point of folks doing the same thing in the U.S. All one has to do is look at forner NFL, NBA, MLB athletes who go broke after they stop playing sports  In general, the U.S. sets the standard for consumerism, and other countries pretty much copy what we do.  Education and cultural background has a lot to do with fiscal responsibility, and it has to start from young since trying to teach an adult fiscal responsibility is not an easy task. 

     It seems that at least she is willing to spend some of that money on you, so we know she is not selfish, but I must agree with the other posters as far as returning to a weekly allowance.  The only chance you have of teaching her fiscal responsibility would be to have surrounded with other folks who are doing the same thing, otherwise she will do as others do. 
     I tried to get my girl to wear a motor bike helmet for years, even bought her one from the U.S. She knows the helmet could save her life in an accident, but hardly ever wears it! When I asked her why? She said: Well no one else is wearing one, why should she? You never going to change culture, unless that person is moved to an environment where they can see others doing what they are supposed to be doing.  Enjoy your relationship, and if you still want to teach her, then give her small tasks from time to time, if you see her being responsible, then you can give her more, it is like training a child. Start slowly. Best of luck.

Thanks Massagewiz, Thanks a good point about who she is hanging around with and your are also right, I gave her to much to soon, starting small and then gradually working up seems to be the way to go.

the tinker40 :

It must be a great feeling knowing that you are supporting someone else's family. A wonderful thing to have "plenty of money out there". Relent & let go of the idea of teaching her about the value of money, she already knows how to spend it.  I wish you well in your quest for reality.

Sarcasm is a useful tool. lol
I don't know about it being a good feeling helping people out, it just seems like like something that needs to be done. IMHO I think the meaning of life is just that, What meaning does my life have? What affect do I have on others? Can I leave this world just a little better off than when I found it?
As for the money, there is plenty out there for anyone willing to put in the work to get it and that is a wonderful thing.

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