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What dies a Thai girl mean when she says , "Can you boyfriend with me?".

Before she offered sexual services for a fee. What is the difference? No charge now? Is monogamy expected in return?

Yes she wants your money and sex included.

I think it is safe to say she did not find you a complete turnoff as a customer and is looking at you as potential boyfriend material.  What that means can vary greatly but in the very least you need to refrain from sleeping with her friends or anyone she knows. 

Some girls want a live in boyfriend while they continue to work.  Usually that means you speak Thai, have similar interests and you are not judgmental.  Others want someone who is kind (gullible) and will provide financial support while not being around very much.  Regular customers can have their upside for a working girls.  The spectrum ranges from sincere to usury and manipulative.  No one else can assure you where you will fall on the scale.

If she doesn't want money one way then chances are she will want money another way. I personally doubt monogamy is in the deck when the girl has already wanted money from you. Just one prospective. The Thai's have their own sense of pragmatics, which can be confusing for Farangs.

I willingly stand corrected. Having worked as a clinician it is easy to categorize and jump on to the next case. What would be missing is that of individual differences. I would simply exercise some trepidation or caution with the friendship. As one Farang advised, let it take time and see what course it takes, but don't make assumptions with western standards.

The only thing Thai women love is your money, thier family and thier iPhone. Farang = same same Soi dog...

Nothing free.  Only the way the bill is presented will change to make it (a) 'appear' to be less commercial, and (b) make you feel better. 

As long as you cough up she'll be as faithful as a puppy.  Good luck and watch out for sick buffalos.

On behalf of my amazing wife, all the other wonderful Thai women I know and have known over the years, let me say I find the misogynistic one line putdowns offensive.  They are all individuals with their own unique stories to tell.  It is not always their fault when men make stupid choices.

blubmeister :

What dies a Thai girl mean when she says , "Can you boyfriend with me?".

Before she offered sexual services for a fee. What is the difference? No charge now? Is monogamy expected in return?

Since Thailand has a very high HIV rate among sex workers, I think the difference is you pay indirectly to get AIDS rather than directly.

Run a mile, then another.

Been here for 20 years, long time for some but short time if compare to some of my foreign friends. As Thailand is an agricultural country and divided into 4 regions, family lifestyle and upbringing is different.

Early foreigners who came and settle down in Thailand then became Thais are the Chinese and Indians. Majority of them are doing business and quite a few have lost their roots.

Many middle age and below Thai Chinese can't speak their mother tongue, lost their culture, don't know Chinese food etc. They called themselves Thais which is nationality but not their roots.

By understanding the different types of Thais will help you on knowing their lifestyle and family upbringing.

Generally Thais are in debts once finished their education. They are taught to buy house and car. Throw in the gold jewellery too. Many are living on credits but dying by paying instalment.

They are taught to lie from young so as not to offend people. Gradually the lies get expanded into other subjects.

Once a kid is told, more lies follows to cover the other lies.

Personally, I have more confidence in Thai Christians who goes to church regularly, part of the care or cell group, doing charity via the church.

They will do their best to uphold themselves because once their name is tarnish, many people will know. Besides the Christian community is not big in Thailand. Once a bad news is out, it will be known. There's even Christian yellow pages too so one needs to be careful.

Now, please don't get me wrong that Christians are all goody as there are bad ones too. But percentage is low and if they had been with the church and community for certain number of years, you are able to tell.

In respond to the comment "have you lady friend explain what a boyfriend is". There are two weaknesses there. First of all the the girl probably doesn't even have the capacity to entirely explain herself in what she means, either linguistically or emotionally. In matters, other then friendship, I have found that any explanation is often lacking in details and information. There may be a Thai way that assumes that the Farang understands, when in fact there is a lack of clarity and understanding. Second there is a "filter system", that starts at about age 10. The speaker will filter a response relative to what he/she thinks the listener wants to hear. This is a universal rule of thumb. Then there are yet to be discovered cultural differences.

Then there is yourself. What do you want or what do you expect out of the friendship? Perhaps giving yourself time to experience and understand, and then make choices could be a solution. All or nothing might be more of a western idea.

A friend of ours could explain that to you better as he is going through an expensive hell right now.

He met a girl on Samui in a bar two months later he goes back to Thailand and marries her then the problems started. Need a new phone. Needs gold to show to the rest of the village he loves her need motorbike for brother and so on.

As the girl came from the same village in the north as my wife they came to see us for help with a visa to the UK. We explained do it slowly just ask for 3 weeks at first but no they asked for 1 year as the girl wants a better life.

Visa 1 request turned down.
Visa 2 turned down.

I asked a friend in the right place why and was told she has a bar job and we all know what that means and they married after 3 months after meeting for the first time for 2 weeks.

We tipped them off get another job and try again in 3 to 6 months, but no she went back to work in the bar 3 weeks ago and he in the UK was pulling is hair out, they split up so a post on FB said.

He flies back out last week with phones, gold and a lot of hope of the visa he is desperate to get her here, but it will not happen as rules are in place to stop it.

The moto here is choose wisely and if you want to take the girl back to your home country do not choose a bar girl. As top of the list of not wanted for obvious reasons.

When I did it I had no problems at all, 2nd visa request as first one turned down because we used an agent and later she got right to remain. But it helps if your wife is a doctor I expect.

Sadly some will tell you what they think you want to hear and not listen to advice by others who have the connections to help a little. others well they know best and you are always in the wrong as I saw not so long ago on here.

Good luck with the lady hope it works out best for you.

The bar girl occupation is not actually an issue.  Simply put 'waitress' and that is fine.  The real issue is history (or lack of) as has been pointed out - 2 weeks then married and take the new 'sweetheart' home to show your mates what you found in Thailand ain't gonna wash with any immigration folk - put yourself in their shoes.

Actually prostitution has long been a major stumbling block for obtaining US visas for Thai girls.  Bar Girl is a well known euphemism for prostitute in Thailand.

It's normal for countries to screen people from 3rd world carefully as they don't want the burden to look after them especially they sneak in and live there for few years. Then they claimed to settle down, had kids etc thus to send them back is difficult on humanitarian grounds.

They also look at the guy's financial standing and if he can support his wife. Age does matter to plus any debts etc

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