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Met Columbian woman

On July 4th, I flew from LAX to Quito. It is my first time in South America.   Since Spanish is my 2nd Language, I used a language exchange website to meet women who wanted to learn English so I could practice my Spanish.  On July 6th, I met a 30 year old woman from Columbia who was a knockout like so many Columbianas. We spent 7 hours together walking around Quito and I had a great time. She seems like an authentic person. Within it seems like the first 1/2 hours, she invited me to accompany her to Columbia for a day or two. She said we could either leave the next day or on July 10th.  She needed to have her braces adjusted by a dentist in a town near the border. She said we would go by bus or with a Columbian friend of hers that has a car. Can anyone offer me any words of advice or caution? What concerns me is that she asked me to go so quickly without getting to know me first. thanks.

If it sounds too good to be true.... it probably is.
Take care fella

Language barrier.  Crossing into notorious southern Colombia.  Her mysterious friend with a car.  Dental project.  Don't know her well enough.  Sleeping arrangements TBD.  Superfox expectations that the blanco will pay all expenses, including el dentista?

What could possibly go wrong? :o

cccmedia in Medellín, Colombia

What would your mother think?
What would your sisters say?

Yup. Those would be your conscience and gut instincts talking. Listen to them. They are giving you advice.

In case you aren't. The answer is no.

Need I spell out the dangers from robbery, health, to worse?

Just...no.

Why not make arrangements to see her when she returns, see if her braces really were adjusted.  You need more time to get acquainted with Ecuador first, and if she does not understand that, then you shouldn't miss her.  Good luck, let us know what happens.

This looks like trap to me. My advice to refuse the offer. Try make arrangement in your own terms and never agree to drive with her friend(s). For me this is already red light warnings.

That is a good point about having me pay the dental expenses.  Right now she has no source of income being unemployed for about a month.  Even though we met on the premise to practice English and Spanish, it turned out to be more like a date.  I paid for all entrance fees to the places we visited and for dinner.   She came dressed to kill with platform high heel shoes with 4 inch heels.  I noticed that she caught the attention of the men who we passed in the street.  I did feel rather like a target.  She is willing to spend time with me in Quito whenever I want so perhaps it is best for me to settle for that and not try to push the relationship too far too soon.

Maybe was date for you, but business for her. Again, I would advice very cautious. Warning red light, unemployed, dress to impress, high heels and lady wear strings. Those are warning signs. Do on your own terms and area you know that you safe.

Uh...you don't even know it's COLOMBIA and not "Columbia"?  And Spanish is your second language?

At least you feel somewhat uneasy, that you're posting about it here.  That's a good sign, I guess.

You need to find out more, before you end up with less.

thanks for the advice, troll

spacer987 :

thanks for the advice, troll

LOL you definitely need advice, and you need to take it!

Here's a bit more:
El camino del necio es derecho en su opinión: Mas el que obedece al consejo es sabio.
Proverbios 12:15

Absolutely! All good sound advice on the subject. Red flags popping up all over the place........How eazy do you think it is for a Colombiana to make money in Ecuador (same here in Panama) Theyre pretty much reduced to one form of activity (with exceptions)......and remember, do not leave your drink unattended.....And dont be gettin into any private vehicles of so called friends of hers either.......Nothing new picking up all the tabs.....Thats just the way it works here.......and its not gonna change.......be surprized if they dont ask for $ to pay the baby sitter too.........

I'm beginning to contemplate reaching out to Heidi Fleiss, at least she had it right.  Since I've been here for 4 years, I've seen more gringo couples divorce, split and have ugly disputes.  Many have been together since high school back in the early ages.  At first I attributed it to couples being together 24/7, when they are used to spending many hours working.  Then I realized, I'm not the norm. 

Let me put this in black and white.  My husband is 15 years older than me and he's lucky that I love, care, and would give my life for him.  When he was sick and I fought tooth and nail with my friend who speaks Spanish to get him to Quito, his kidney transpant was already rejecting.  With strong meds that made him hateful, he started to go off on me in which my reply was, be thankful I'm American.  If I was an ecuadorian, I would have let you die and started selling off everything in the house.

It amazes me that the US men think that Latin women half their age give 2 ***about them, that they leave the families that have supported them their whole lives.  My thinking is where were they in the US when I needed my college paid for?  I see it time and time again even with my expat friends in Panama.  It's like once they cross the equator they lose their minds.  IMO they get what they deserve.

I tell my stepson when he visits to bring condoms from US and triple bag it before crossing that line.  At least he's smart enough to see through the scam.  I never knew that men could be so stupid.  I've always paid my way no matter what, and for them to expect different in South America just shows they're more insecure than I would have ever believed.  Protect that blue covered passport and your pensions/personal assets!!  There is now a reciprocal child support law between the US and ecuador.

Your family who has supported you for years cares more about you then the Latin American who will blow u just for a better life.  You have less headaches staying with what you have than then the ego boost you get because u think some hot chic is in to you.  Shaking my head that US men are that stupid.  At least give ur money to someone who has your best interest at heart.  But if you don't and ur that stupid, I only hope your US soon to be ex wife gets everything!!

Seems you're inexperienced with working girls. Pay-for-play can get you into dangerous situations. Just be aware and keep in mind at all times that you are not Romeo, and she is not Juliet!

Can't remember exactly when or all the details.....there was a kidnap for ransom....the victims were very fortunate to be found alive....it was a botched job,,,,,the kidnappers were arrested trying to flee at the Colombian border.

suefrankdahl :

Can't remember exactly when or all the details.....there was a kidnap for ransom....the victims were very fortunate to be found alive....it was a botched job,,,,,the kidnappers were arrested trying to flee at the Colombian border.

I remember that well, it was dramatized in a recent movie called Snatched.

It kind of makes you wonder about how many similar stories never see the light of day

suefrankdahl :

A name from the past.

I've lived my life by the teachings of my father. "Whenever you have a choice to make about anything in life ask yourself, Is it legal? Is it moral? Is it ethical? If you amswer no to ANY of them...walk on."

@cat3  Howz about 2 out of 3? Will that work? Works for me.........

Hi, interesting reading your post. I'm not anyone who can tell you what to do and what not to, but truly from the bottom  of my heart and knowing quite a bit the Columbia culture , DON'T GO WITH HER ALONG. If you really like her then be first her friend. I'm Ecuadorian  half Indian (hindustani ) living in Ecuador for my last 12 years of life and if I have  learned something,  is exactly no to trust Columbian people.  I first step very carefully with them and then I just say noooooo way for me to have  more than a hello .
Of course  I'm generalizing but trust me , don't go for her look and smiles. By the way, my brother who came to Ecuador for holidays and visited his best friend  (Columbian ) got cheated by him ("best friend" and his wife) with $32.000 usd........I can tell quite  few stories  regarding "Columbians "
I'm so sorry  but is a true sad reality of their  society. 😕
Pls enjoy your time in and around Ecuador.  Here things are healthier! !!!!

I have lots of experience with Latin women in general and Colombian women in particular.  I was engaged to my first Colombian girlfriend in Bogota (university professor), but things could not work out because of her relationship with her son (big learning experience there).  The next year I was living in medellin and again I became engaged with a woman (music teacher and performer), despite her 8 children.  Again as I knew I couldn't stay in Colombia this relationship too ended, though we are still friends and she visits me in Ecuador.  Now I am settled with an amazing woman from Cuenca with whom I have a baby.  Though I have been scammed and outright robbed many times, the story of relations with a Latin woman can have a happy ending...most of us men simply have to pay our dues along the way.  But I can guarantee you this:  the relationship between the older gringo and the younger latina has the potential to be the greatest relationship on earth.  It is one form of the fulfillment of the prophecy about the eagle flying with the condor....check it out!

Mahamantra :

Hi, interesting reading your post. I'm not anyone who can tell you what to do and what not to, but truly from the bottom  of my heart and knowing quite a bit the Columbia culture , DON'T GO WITH HER ALONG. If you really like her then be first her friend. I'm Ecuadorian  half Indian (hindustani ) living in Ecuador for my last 12 years of life and if I have  learned something,  is exactly no to trust Columbian people.  I first step very carefully with them and then I just say noooooo way for me to have  more than a hello .
Of course  I'm generalizing but trust me , don't go for her look and smiles. By the way, my brother who came to Ecuador for holidays and visited his best friend  (Columbian ) got cheated by him ("best friend" and his wife) with $32.000 usd........I can tell quite  few stories  regarding "Columbians "
I'm so sorry  but is a true sad reality of their  society. 😕
Pls enjoy your time in and around Ecuador.  Here things are healthier! !!!!

Ecuadorians are funny, I wonder if Colombians share the same sentiment about them. In frankness however I have not met a single Ecuadorian who had anything positive to say about Colombians.

Ok, they why does Ecuador allow so many Colombians to enter and live in Ecuador?  I have 5 trips to Colombia, and most in the era of civil war, and have never had a problem......And colombians have treated me very well (with a few gold digging exceptions) everywhere I have gone............Most Ecuadorians too for that matter.......altho be careful in Cuenca.........Theyve got an attitude there............In Colombia, I felt like I was talkin with brothers everywhere I went..........Sure there are plenty bad guys.......There are 50 million people in Colombia.......only 14 million in Ecuador and 4 million in Panama..........but what are the odds?

It’s unrelated because one is a policy, a humanitarian one, whilst the other is public perception of Colombians, so the two should not be conflated.

Maybe CC would care to weigh in on this as he seems to move quite regularly between the two countries.......With all the time he has spent living in Colombia he must have formed an opinion by now.........

dumluk :

why does Ecuador allow so many Colombians to enter and live in Ecuador?

1.  Colombians entering Ecuador.

The borders are porous and many Colombians enter without being officially counted or noted.  (source: migrationpolicy.org)

I personally have crossed the border near Ipiales-Tulcán various times, being stopped only once (at night) for a brief check of my Ecuador-plated car by Ecuadorian authorities.  In some daytime cases, where I wanted my passport marked, I pulled over and entered the relevant government building (varies by country), but that was strictly voluntary on my part.  During daylight hours, in my experience, there is lots of traffic at that border in both directions .. and nobody is stopping it.

2.  Colombians staying in Ecuador.

Through the MERCOSUR agreement, the cédulas issued by Colombia and Ecuador are honored in both countries. 

So, barring an incident involving a vehicle crash or a crime being committed, Colombians can normally stay in Ecuador for long periods without a problem.  If the police ask for ID, they show their Colombian ID without repercussions.

cccmedia

Well, there you have it.....Thanks CCC.........But what about the statement made by the Indian (Hindu) Ecuadorian that Colombians cannot be trusted?

dumluk :

Well, there you have it.....Thanks CCC.........But what about the statement made by the Indian (Hindu) Ecuadorian that Colombians cannot be trusted?

I haven't had any trust problems in my nine months or so total in Colombia.  Of course, I hang out in the best parts of Quindío -- medical row / Mocawa Plaza / University del Quindío / Centro Comercial Portal del Quindío in Armenia and some friendly pueblos -- and the Golden Mile in Medellín.

I stay out of the favelas in the Medellín valley hillsides, El Centro after dark .. and no longer do any driving on the intercity highways at night except in the Coffee Zona.

Also, I don't get involved in buying real estate or other long-term commitments.

cccmedia in Medellín

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