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Understanding Vietnamese girls

It says on the company web adverts that Japanese and English lessons are given free of charge to all employees, as well as meals and accommodation, with salary between 5 -15 millions. Applicants are to be sent to any of the company's locations (Saigon, Hanoi, Danang, Phnom Penh, Thailand, Singapore, and Malaysia.)

Main requirements for applicants are hard-working, diligent, energetic, and a desire to learn. It also says the job is an opportunity to learn a (actually, two) foreign language/s, to improve and strengthening one's character.

On the surface (description and reviews), it sounds pretty legit to me. People call it a gastro pub, and both food and service are well-praised.

The working hours are supposed to be only between 19:00 and 2:00. What the women do outside of their working hours is not controllable by the management, I would say.

"The working hours are supposed to be only between 19:00 and 2:00. What the women do outside of their working hours is not controlled by the management, I would say."

True, but who really wants to date a girl who does the after hours activity. The OP seems quite accepting of this line of work from what I read on his Reddit post. At the end of the day, he came here to ask for advice, most of us are saying run, but he is his own man and can think for himself. 

There is a good story on Stickman of an Aussie guy who got into exactly the same situation in Danang. At the end of his post he acknowledge that he didn't think it over, and was stupid for what he did. He learnt the hard way, I would rather not.

Good luck to the OP,but I doubt anything we say will sway him, maybe it's a case of him going down the track and see what eventuates.

Women are the most complex creatures in the world, so don't try to understand them, just try to know them  :D

singuyen tranpham :

Women are the most complex creatures in the world, so don't try to understand them, just try to know them  :D

An old saying.

The man who understands women is yet to be born, and his mother and father are dead.

Tanabata and its CEO (a 27-year-old woman named Pham Thi Yen Nhi) were honoured in 2016 as model for excellency in business and leadership in Vietnam. Whether it means anything in re: the OP's gf's job, I don't know. Just report what I culled from the Internet.

People used to look up to Bill Crosby, now look where he is. Certificates are handed out in VN like flyers at traffic lights.

To be honest,I doubt you can really understand the situation being a woman, last time I looked there weren't too many boy bars for women.

colinoscapee :

To be honest,I doubt you can really understand the situation being a woman, last time I looked there weren't too many boy bars for women.

LOL. There are plenty in the States, but I'm way too old for that kind of activity. I do understand what you're saying though, and that's why I only passed along what I read and not adding my judgement.

PS: Where do you think rich (and slightly older) women find studly young men to escort them to functions?

Ciambella :
colinoscapee :

To be honest,I doubt you can really understand the situation being a woman, last time I looked there weren't too many boy bars for women.

LOL. There are plenty in the States, but I'm way too old for that kind of activity. I do understand what you're saying though, and that's why I only passed along what I read and not adding my judgement.

PS: Where do you think rich (and slightly older) women find studly young men to escort them to functions?

Interesting that you asked that. I read an article a few years ago about young guys being dates for the older,wealthier VN ladies. I see you speak Vietnamese, so are you of Vietnamese heritage. I would offer to assist you with attending functions, but I only have one leg and I have a tendency to hop a lot.

If the girl is not asking for money, enjoy it, but do not let it fool you.  The long game is well practiced.  :)

Based on my experiences in SEA, all of those countries, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia have VN working girls and thus, yes, travel is easy and that makes it easier for them to get there and make a lot of money in a very short period of time.  The times I was traveling a lot to Singapore, it did not matter what night club or restaurant/bar we went to, there were always working girls from VN, even in the upscale 5 star businesses.  As a matter of fact, my friends in Singapore said the government was trying to crack down on VN working girls because there was way to many!!!!!

Working 19:00 to 0:200?  Do you realize that the average VN family is in bed around 22:00 and up at 05:00?   Also, my wife told me, yes there are lots of girls that work in these places as well as hotels etc. and they are paid to be company to men.  It does not mean they have sex with them, but men pay them to sit and drink with them.  I am sure so do have sex and some do not.  But to think that these girls just get tips and get paid that kind of money at a bar are just being social, wake up, not happening.

Like I said, if she is not asking for money, have fun, but do not fall into the deep end.  Stay skeptical and you should be ok.  I want you to keep us updated because I want to see how this turns out.  Like others said, I would not get involved with a girl from any bar (BTW - it is just not VN, I had the same attitude growing up in the USA with western women), but then again, I was looking for a life partner, not a play partner.

"Interesting that you asked that. I read an article a few years ago about young guys being dates for the older,wealthier VN ladies."

There are VN movies about this, happens more than you think.

Ciambella :

It says on the company web adverts that Japanese and English lessons are given free of charge to all employees, as well as meals and accommodation, with salary between 5 -15 millions. Applicants are to be sent to any of the company's locations (Saigon, Hanoi, Danang, Phnom Penh, Thailand, Singapore, and Malaysia.)

Main requirements for applicants are hard-working, diligent, energetic, and a desire to learn. It also says the job is an opportunity to learn a (actually, two) foreign language/s, to improve and strengthening one's character.

On the surface (description and reviews), it sounds pretty legit to me. People call it a gastro pub, and both food and service are well-praised.

The working hours are supposed to be only between 19:00 and 2:00. What the women do outside of their working hours is not controllable by the management, I would say.

I should have been more clear. Outside of those quoted hours, as a group and of their own volition,  they also go on trips together, have beauty treatments, train, etc. Some of the places that they go to are quite beautiful, and I'd like to go some day. They're just particular sites by the river and places only locals would know.

I would say that the drinks and service are great. I've seen Japanese men with their wives at the bar for food and drinks. In Japan, it is normal for bars to serve food (they have little ovens and stoves).

I would say that the food is Japanese (ie: they have edamame) but the quality is not great (the beans are soft). That being said, I haven't tried Japanese food in Vietnam yet, so maybe it is OK. I'll find out next week.

They do serve Vietnamese food at the bar but is very not good in my experience.

Ciambella :
colinoscapee :

To be honest,I doubt you can really understand the situation being a woman, last time I looked there weren't too many boy bars for women.

LOL. There are plenty in the States, but I'm way too old for that kind of activity. I do understand what you're saying though, and that's why I only passed along what I read and not adding my judgement.

PS: Where do you think rich (and slightly older) women find studly young men to escort them to functions?

Indeed - a friend and I thought to start such a business in China a few years ago only to discover it is already relatively mature. Everyone copies Japan.

colinoscapee :

True, but who really wants to date a girl who does the after hours activity. The OP seems quite accepting of this line of work from what I read on his Reddit post. At the end of the day, he came here to ask for advice, most of us are saying run, but he is his own man and can think for himself. 

There is a good story on Stickman of an Aussie guy who got into exactly the same situation in Danang. At the end of his post he acknowledge that he didn't think it over, and was stupid for what he did. He learnt the hard way, I would rather not.

Good luck to the OP,but I doubt anything we say will sway him, maybe it's a case of him going down the track and see what eventuates.

Yes, you're right. I do enjoy bars and have no qualms about spending women in this line of work. While I don't respond to everyone, I have learned a great deal from this thread. I definitely will keep the warnings in my mind, especially the story of the Aussie fellow posted by Stickman. Thank you especially for that.

I guess that at this stage I don't feel like I have a reason to stop seeing her. She hasn't done anything to offend me and I enjoy her company. Of course, should the need arise, I will do so. Especially, as another poster said, if she asks me for money. Your warnings are well heeded.

I initially started the other thread because my friends and I had what we would consider a strange experience. We're veterans of the bar scene, having lived in Asia for a while, and we were pretty shocked when the girls actively refused to be touched and, despite swapping facebook/phone numbers with my friends, refused to meet up afterwards. Some of my friends who were expecting the typical girly bar experience were annoyed, to say the least.

vndreamer :

If the girl is not asking for money, enjoy it, but do not let it fool you.  The long game is well practiced.  :)

Based on my experiences in SEA, all of those countries, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia have VN working girls and thus, yes, travel is easy and that makes it easier for them to get there and make a lot of money in a very short period of time.  The times I was traveling a lot to Singapore, it did not matter what night club or restaurant/bar we went to, there were always working girls from VN, even in the upscale 5 star businesses.  As a matter of fact, my friends in Singapore said the government was trying to crack down on VN working girls because there was way to many!!!!!

Working 19:00 to 0:200?  Do you realize that the average VN family is in bed around 22:00 and up at 05:00?   Also, my wife told me, yes there are lots of girls that work in these places as well as hotels etc. and they are paid to be company to men.  It does not mean they have sex with them, but men pay them to sit and drink with them.  I am sure so do have sex and some do not.  But to think that these girls just get tips and get paid that kind of money at a bar are just being social, wake up, not happening.

Like I said, if she is not asking for money, have fun, but do not fall into the deep end.  Stay skeptical and you should be ok.  I want you to keep us updated because I want to see how this turns out.  Like others said, I would not get involved with a girl from any bar (BTW - it is just not VN, I had the same attitude growing up in the USA with western women), but then again, I was looking for a life partner, not a play partner.

I appreciate your wife and your advice. I will keep you updated.

I do understand why you wouldn't want to get involved with a girl from a bar - but I would feel very hypocritical since I spend so much time in bars myself :). But yes, I'm not looking for a life partner or a play partner, but I do enjoy her company. As I said in my OP, I would just feel bad if she was being serious and I wasn't - but it seems that I don't need to worry about this.

[

colinoscapee :

I would offer to assist you with attending functions, but I only have one leg and I have a tendency to hop a lot.

ROTFLOL. I already have a spouse (neither young nor studly, but an excellent person altogether) who would be my escort if I ever wish to attend functions, but I truly appreciate your willingness. I will certainly keep you in mind. ;)

Ciambella :

[

colinoscapee :

I would offer to assist you with attending functions, but I only have one leg and I have a tendency to hop a lot.

ROTFLOL. I already have a spouse (neither young nor studly, but an excellent person altogether) who would be my escort if I ever wish to attend functions, but I truly appreciate your willingness. I will certainly keep you in mind. ;)

Thanks for keeping me in mind, I'm good company and keep my flatulence to an acceptable level in public.I will wait for the Batphone to ring when you are in need of an escort to accompany your dear self.

PS. I'm much better looking these days since having my green teeth fixed.

(Refuse to quote)  :lol:

You and my spouse would get on like a house on fire.

viktri :

...  I'm not looking for a life partner ...

Oh. Then, never mind.  :/

Generally when these cases of exotic romance arise, the life-hardened expats race out to the forum to rescue a brother from falling into bad marriage or worse. Apparently our services weren't needed this time. Ok, you have fun out there, tomcat!

You see she is a good girl, many are and many care big time, So what kind of business are you going to open up?

You probably will find far less saints in a bar than you will in the church choir or the university library. But if your a bar guy then it is probably a comfortable thing for you. Me I have never been in a bar and have never met a bar girl. I wonder if she had the sausage 10 times last night above the bar if she would tell you she had a great night or would she  say oh no dear we will be fired if we ever sample sausage. And the corporate structure......

:lol:   :lol:

To the op, it seems you are heading towards the girl here. Whether you are taking anyone's advise here, well that's your choice i guess.  :blink:

I can see you have feelings for the girl and so want to believe her and what shes telling you. So tread carefully and time will tell... just remember when that sick buffalo needs to be looked after and you are the first port of call for help... quit!
Most importantly if you sniff there are other sausages being sampled, this will be your strong hint!!  :mad:

Good luck and i hope things work out for you.
:top:

Be thankful she is Vietnamese :)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldne … tners.html

Be thankful she is Vietnamese :)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldne … tners.html

:o   :o

Mate, If you are after Japanese food in HCMC, look no further than ICHIBAN SUSHI Le Lai St Ben Thanh in D1. Truly sensational

Guys, the only thing to remember about women is that the thing they go for in a man is personality.

And the more personality you have in your wallet, the more the girls like you.  ;)

Ciambella :
colinoscapee :

To be honest,I doubt you can really understand the situation being a woman, last time I looked there weren't too many boy bars for women.

LOL. There are plenty in the States, but I'm way too old for that kind of activity. I do understand what you're saying though, and that's why I only passed along what I read and not adding my judgement.

PS: Where do you think rich (and slightly older) women find studly young men to escort them to functions?

Theres a club a few doors down from the Majestic hotel where senior ladies pay for gentlemen in shiny shoes to dance with them.

What kind of women did you talk about?
I don't think so, maybe you haven't seen the right person yet.

eodmatt:
QUOTE
Theres a club a few doors down from the Majestic hotel where senior ladies pay for gentlemen in shiny shoes to dance with them.
UNQUOTE
Goodness me, that's taking things back to French colonial days, as depicted in the film, "The Quiet American" (2002 version). These ladies were referred to as "Taxi girls" then and when I was in Saigon in 1971. Perhaps the term has also resurfaced.

Yogi007 :

G'day,
So ......if she's not returning those SMSs there's a problem eh......
Could be a "problem" with her phone.

Nothing a new $900 iPhone won't fix. 🤓

A new and cynical Yogi!

However, as always, Rudyard Kipling had a term for it.

"Just So"

And for all those playing the oriental card, never forget: "When the moon is low, the shadows are long"...

gobot :
viktri :

...  I'm not looking for a life partner ...

Oh. Then, never mind.  :/

Generally when these cases of exotic romance arise, the life-hardened expats race out to the forum to rescue a brother from falling into bad marriage or worse. Apparently our services weren't needed this time. Ok, you have fun out there, tomcat!

I'm a bit confused by the OP. He says he doesn't want a life partner,and is okay with bar girls doing what they do. So what was the post all about if he already knows exactly what he wants, and how the girls operate.

ralphnhatrang :

eodmatt:
QUOTE
Theres a club a few doors down from the Majestic hotel where senior ladies pay for gentlemen in shiny shoes to dance with them.
UNQUOTE
Goodness me, that's taking things back to French colonial days, as depicted in the film, "The Quiet American" (2002 version). These ladies were referred to as "Taxi girls" then and when I was in Saigon in 1971. Perhaps the term has also resurfaced.

I dunno. I was in the Me N You bar (MAY bar) which is successor to the ZanZibar, which was a very good restaurant and cocktail bar until the owners fell out and split the proceeds.

The owner of the May Bar - one of the owners of the Zanzibar as was, took us to a club very close by and upstairs called - I think - the MZ Club, where there were very dapper chaps wearing  pristine white shirts, trousers with black stripes down the sides and very shiny shoes, wheeling middle aged ladies  around the dance floor. There was also a sprinkling of intellectuals, musicians and composers present and, my OH told me, the odd MAFFIA chief.

One of the OH's friends is a (very cultured) middle aged lady (a doctor of something or other) who is unmarried and who told us she goes to such a dance club once a month for the thrills of being squired around a dance floor by a dance-competent tailors dummy, for which she pays a fee to the tailors dummy.

Obviously propriety meant that I didn't ask if there were any other activities involved, but human nature being what it is .... I wouldn't be surprised.

And anyway, who should judge? I always remember a saying taught me many years ago: People who live in glass houses.....


....  Should draw the blinds before removing their trousers.

Iamsnail :

What kind of women did you talk about?
I don't think so, maybe you haven't seen the right person yet.

I was generalising and.......


....... It was a joke  ;)





But a fairly accurate description of the reality though!

eodmatt :

However, as always, Rudyard Kipling had a term for it.

"Just So"

And for all those playing the oriental card, never forget: "When the moon is low, the shadows are long"...

Huh? This winding thread is getting too literary for me.

So of course off googling I go and still @eodmatt's references have gone over my head...

And google leads me to Kipling's Just So stories and now I recommend a 10 minute reading diversion of The Elephant's Child story. Good stuff. It is about curiosity and a self-propelling man-of-war with armour-plated upper deck, and I understand a little more about evolution and life in Africa.
thx @eodmatt! --> Just So stories

Really just 10 minutes, go read it, however don't expect any more Understanding of Vietnamese girls

gobot :
eodmatt :

However, as always, Rudyard Kipling had a term for it.

"Just So"

And for all those playing the oriental card, never forget: "When the moon is low, the shadows are long"...

Huh? This winding thread is getting too literary for me.

So of course off googling I go and still @eodmatt's references have gone over my head...

And google leads me to Kipling's Just So stories and now I recommend a 10 minute reading diversion of The Elephant's Child story. Good stuff. It is about curiosity and a self-propelling man-of-war with armour-plated upper deck, and I understand a little more about evolution and life in Africa.
thx @eodmatt! --> Just So stories

Really just 10 minutes, go read it, however don't expect any more Understanding of Vietnamese girls

Well, Just So, meaning "yes". And the just so stories written by R. Kipling still have some validity even in todays world - even f they are now somewhat politically incorrect.

As far as your quest for the Understanding of Vietnam Girls is concerned, look no further than my quote "when the moon is low, the shadows are long"

What does it mean?

I have no idea but it was told to me by a holy man in a temple deep down in the Mekong Delta. The holy man spoke only Khmer and the temple was covered in Khmer writings and was said to be several hundred years old. The holy man looked like he was several hundred years old too.

Returning to the subject of Vietnamese women, I can offer the following as part advice, part philosophy  and part tongue in cheek:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr.

"I have no idea but it was told to me by a holy man in a temple deep down in the Mekong Delta. The holy man spoke only Khmer and the temple was covered in Khmer writings and was said to be several hundred years old. The holy man looked like he was several hundred years old too."

So, you met my dad.

colinoscapee :

"I have no idea but it was told to me by a holy man in a temple deep down in the Mekong Delta. The holy man spoke only Khmer and the temple was covered in Khmer writings and was said to be several hundred years old. The holy man looked like he was several hundred years old too."

So, you met my dad.

We are all the sons and daughters of creation.

colinoscapee :

Working for a company that sends VN girls to countries that already have an abundance of suitable girls, I dont think so.

Reminds me of when I was working in Iran and I asked my Vn wife - then G/F - to come to Dubai for a weeks holiday. She was well travelled before meeting me as she has an MBA in business development and had already been to Singapore, Japan, Korea, Thailand etc etc on business for her company (travel related) and she speaks English as well as Korean. Anyway, I was not expecting the difficulty we would encounter getting her a visa for Dubai, but difficulties are to be overcome and so, as I was then a senior manager for an international oil company, I set about constructing a case for her to come to Dubai.

I decided that going through the official channels and trying to convince immigration people that I just wanted her to visit me for a weeks holiday was just too difficult, so I set up a paper trail of letters of invitation and correspondence on letter heads, for her to come on a business trip to meet me to discuss setting up medical insurance and facilities for our staff in Iran (I was working at the time for a 20 billion dollar oil field development project).

She duly arrived in Dubai and I was waiting for about 2 hours before she finally appeared. She explained that an immigration chap asked her why she wanted to visit Dubai and she produced a file about 2cm thick with all our correspondence relating to her trip. Immigration then asked her where she would be staying - I had provided a booking for her at the 4 Points Sheraton in Mankool Road, where I was staying, which she produced. They asked her who would be meeting her and she gave them a photocopy of my passport, which I had provided.

But then things took an interesting turn. They asked her if she wouldn't mind interpreting for them whilst they interviewed two other Vietnam girls on the same flight. She agreed.

She told me that both of the girls (interviewed separately) said there were coming to Dubai to visit "family". But they couldn't provide an address at which they would be staying. Neither girl could provide details of who would be picking them up from the airport. And on being asked to open their suitcases both girls revealed very interesting........ costumes and er..... equipment ..... that they were travelling with.

Dubai immigration gave my G/F a 3 month multiple re entry visa and effusive thanks and the two other Vietnamese girls were put back on the plane for Saigon.

Proper preparation and planning .......

mikeymac :

How much can a Koala bear?

How many bears can Bear Gryls grill, if Bear Gryls can grill bears?

colinoscapee :
gobot :
viktri :

...  I'm not looking for a life partner ...

Oh. Then, never mind.  :/

Generally when these cases of exotic romance arise, the life-hardened expats race out to the forum to rescue a brother from falling into bad marriage or worse. Apparently our services weren't needed this time. Ok, you have fun out there, tomcat!

I'm a bit confused by the OP. He says he doesn't want a life partner,and is okay with bar girls doing what they do. So what was the post all about if he already knows exactly what he wants, and how the girls operate.

There are different types of girls that work in bars. I just wanted to get a sense of where she is on the spectrum. I like spending time with girls on one side and not another.

This thread has been a big help.

Thank you for saying so about Vietnamese girls

What I find interesting is that the "F word," "family" seems to be missing in this discussion. To me, that speaks volumes. Most of the advice here seems generic  and applies to women everywhere.

But, family is still important in Vietnam. My wife's book about growing up during the War, "For Two Cows I Ain't half Bad" by Bac thi Eaton refers to the fact that she proudly considered (and to this day still does proudly consider herself) to be my property that I purchased with two cows.

What got tricky back in the 1970s is that the two cows was a mere down payment and nearly 50 years later, I still have obligations to her remaining family. Vietnam and Vietnamese Women are much more American/European in thought and action today than 50 years ago. Still, to an extent, you are still marrying a family and not just a woman.

@70yearold
  It is certainly true you become part of the family, just not sure what part. In my situation I only feel that I am around as the installed ATM in their house so they do not have to walk down the block. Never have I felt I was respected as a man, as a husband, and now as a father. But boy when it comes to money I am the #1 guy in the family. When mom needs a new A/C, uncle picks out the most expensive one and the round eyed guy pays for it. Even though the round eyed guy knows how to properly size the A/C. My bride snatches my son out of my arms anytime she feels she does not want me to have him. I think 70yearold got his bride from a different era. Mine has never offered me so much as a glass of water when I am in their home, let alone a meal. I must say I would never do it again.

"I think 70yearold got his bride from a different era. Mine has never offered me so much as a glass of water when I am in their home, let alone a meal. I must say I would never do it again."

Vietnam then was a very different time and place during the war. While the situation is very different, I became the Family Patriarch in 1975 when her Grandmother died and I had the responsibility to guide and nurture her family thrust upon me. I found that task both difficult and rewarding especially during those times when I was not present in Vietnam.

Then having a "War Buddy" for a wife is also a very different situation. I know what she will do if "incoming" starts to hit. I've always trusted her to cover my "6." The "new crop" of women here seem to be almost Vietnamese speaking Americans

While I in no way find American women very good partners, They seem in many ways more  something than what the Vietnamese now seem to consentrate in. And the Vietnamese are very cunning in how they achieve the goal si think. But I was warned before I dive in that they either want MONEY, a Immigration VISA, or a HOUSE, and preferably all 3. So I tried to nail my wife down before hand. Me knowing full well what I was willing to provide. They seem to have as part of their culture to be willing to comitt to an agreement as an opinion anti. As soon as the ink is dry on the agreement it is out the window it seems then. This is true in most of my business dealing here as well. So I now say if their lips are moving they are lying and to guard your money. I was willing to make allowances for things that may have just been cultural misunderstandings . For example I put my real estate in a trust for her when I passed. Here it seem they like their security up front and trust no one. Okay, understandable, so I agreed to give her $500 a month to buy a home at some point in the future. Did not work. I was asked and agreed. To pay her mom $300 a month. Customary she told me. That was fine in order to get th marriage license ink dry. Then she demanded a 66% increase to $500 a month. Have met many since. Taken them to dinner and before the first course is served they ask for money in some way. Seem they do not want to work as a team and earn a future. Give it to them now or they are history. Indeed thy seem to all have went to the same wifehood school. Always very concerned or worried about your health. They all seem to say the same recorded phrase. I have cone to wonder if they are sincere in there concern. Seem like self-centered concern comes first. In some cases in America you can at least find a team member.

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