Close

In a long distant relationship with an algerian man

hello readers
I'm Ethiopian 27  years old living in Australia, and in a long distant relationship with a 29 year old Algerian man for almost 2 years now.
we started talking through Facebook and still are for a while now. I asked him what his intentions were? he said to get to know me and see what happens after that. anyway we kept in contact almost everyday asking questions about each other, skyping and then decided to date long distant in the hopes of marriage one day. I asked him what any body would ask, how are we going to get married when you know I cant travel to you and you cant travel to me?  during that time he wasn't working but was training as a lawyer.
he answered by saying inshaa allah we'll come up with a plan.

anyway long story short, I'm thinking of inviting him to visit me for 3 months to hang out with him face to face. He has accepted the idea. He knows I live with my family and not alone, but he didn't try to find out more information about where he'll be living and whether he can afford it for 3 months or not.
my question is, since I'm inviting him am I expected to provide everything or should the man come already equipped?  I don't know if he's expecting me to provide accommodation and take care of his expenses, why else would he not reject the idea and say wait until I save enough money because at the moment I cant afford that?

speaking of that I've been reading horror stories about men from the middle east and north Africa marrying for visa purposes. I'm not saying this is exactly what that guy is doing I'm just worried even though I haven't seen anything bad from him, he's such a sweet heart.

what do you guys think I should do? how can I test him to find out whether he's playing games or not?

Hmm its a tricky situation you are in because 2 years is a long time but looks like you don't know whats really going on or his true intentions...and yes there are too many stories about men looking only for visa these days..but in saying that we cant advise you coz we dont know him.
its very hard to get any kind of visa let alone visiting/tourist visa for people from north african countries especially to come to australia....to do this you need to invite him with a letter and state many things about yourself such as :- essential you need to provide and prove you have a steady income,if you have accommodation to house him preferably under your name,you need to show you have money in your account to sponsor him as a bond precaution which can start from $5000 and more and many other things and he needs to prove he will have true intentions to go back to algeria, that he has money a job etc...also they easily reject tourist/visit visa for these people because these countries have been blacklisted amongst many other countries.
Im Australian myself and have married a beautiful honest algerian man so i know what it entails and we still have problems for him to come to Australia....it is extremely hard.
But you can easily ring up Australian Immigration and they'll be able to give you information about what you need to do for both you and him.
Wish you the best.
Let us know if the visa gets approved for him.

Thanks Hun
I'm already put off with all these expanses I'm definitely gonna be financially slaughtered, if I was to go through all of that without any assistance from him.
If things don't look too good on my side I'll jst forget about it, but I'll make a few checks with the immigration and with him as well.
He also suggested that we get married and live in Algeria if things don't work out here,  but I'm hesitant because I don't think I can live anywhere apart from Aus or any western country.

Hi love...you were born in aussie?
Living in Algeria as a foreign woman is extremely difficult...we didnt marry in algeria but in eygpt and we couldn't handle staying in cairo it was really terrible and apparently getting married in algeria takes many months to process if ur a foreigner thats why we chose eygpt-took 10 days- i suggest tunisia if you both wanna meet initially as we did...algeria is not a touristy country...beautiful country but not great for tourism and admins and government agencies are terrible...everything is hard to do there even the most simplest thing...and also transferring money between here and there and vice versa is hard too..they dont accept aussie dollar or us the dinar and their dollar is really worthless...sorry to put a downer on everything but ive been through all this with my husband before

No I came to Aus as a 9 year old so been here for a long time. I told him living in his country is not an option he either comes and lives here or we'll forget about everything.
Anyway speaking about your husband,
do you have to travel back and forth to see him?
It's hard isn't it?

We've been together 2 years and seen each other twice now...once a year lol but seriously its very hard and stressful and everything is expensive...long distance relationships is toooooo very hard and requires alot of effort and takes a toll at the end...maybe you should apply for prospective spouse visa....?
Best advice i can give you to help you both is to meet him in real...

Hi, I understand about the financial situation but I say don't ever take on the responsibility of him if he got a visa to Australia. The two of you need to spend time together but one, two , or even three visits is not enough to really know someone. Google "rat bezness" and see what pops up. I'm sorry I'm not trying to stereotype. My Algerian fiancé dropped me a month ago because I wouldn't continue to pay for expensive trips. We were together for over 3 years. I wish you all the best!!!

Yeah I thought about the  prospective visa and asked him what his plans are, if things don't work out with the visa, he failed to give me a convincing plan, it seems as if he's sure nothing would go wrong, as if he's relying on me to take care of the fees that come with everything. He wouldn't even offer to help when I said the fees are so expansive I don't know how I'll get through them.

Im turned off

USA girl , Omg what a bitch of a man
I'm so sorry for what has happened. How long have you known him before marrying him? And did he seem really genuine at first?

Yeah you're right we'd need more than just a visit or two. I'm not gonna financially take care of him, if he can't afford it he shouldn't dream.
I realised he's a man without any plans of his own, after questioning him further.
I cant deal with a useless man.

Mine never helped me with any expenses. I asked him to because I said it's getting very expensive. He wouldn't help but then he would wear brand name clothes and buy jewelry. I bought him his iPhone and laptop. Paid for phone bills because he refused to use what's all and kik with me and after he dropped me I found him on what's app and he had been on there last while he was still suppose to be my fiancé. He didn't want to understand that I couldn't continue like this financially so I feel he got a "sugar mama. He and I were near in age . I'm a year older. It's usually older women but I fell for every line he said. Be cautious!!!

We were engaged for 2 years and known each other 3 years. I never applied for the K1 visa because I wanted to see him again and he refused to help me with the expense of the trip and so I said no. He dropped me like a hot brick a month ago but I was suppose to be his babe he loves so much and wanted to marry and have children with!

Lmao 😂😂 that cracked me up- "cant deal with a useless man " lol
Its true though...they need to put the effort aswell and show really that they are genuine
Mine sold his shop to get some funds to help with expenses in eygpt where we stayed for a month...i dont have money either but where theres a will theres a way
I know of these visa love rats..theres too many scams going on just using the girl...we need to be careful...use our heads not our hearts only...but we cant say all are like that too

USA GIRL He was a leech sorry to say...but why stay so long with him then?
But its true in these 3rd world countries the people from there are struggling in every way...financially and its hard to get a good job paying well let alone a professional job

I stayed because he was convincing to me. The saying actions speak louder than words I realize is so true. I know it's difficult in 3rd world countries but it still doesn't give them the right to hurt people who love them and all they want from them is citizenship. I'm positive this is what he wanted or he couldn't have moved on as easily as he did like he disappeared after over 3 years! I may sound aggressive but it's because I'm hurt. It will take time. My pride is hurt too. I considered myself a much more intelligent person.

Its okay i understand...you have a right to feel the way you do...of course doesnt give them the right to use girls just to get citizenship bcoz of their situation...noone does...and seems like that was what he was doing from what you said...i hope you can move on and just learn from this experience...take care

I'm trying hard to move on. It's only been a month but I think about what he did and what he was trying to do and that makes it some easier to move on. It's not just the middle age women getting used. They are using the younger ones too. I blame myself also because I should have known better but I had got out of a bad relationship when he contacted me on Facebook and I got lost in this world he made me believe in, even with meeting him once he was still able to make me believe this was real. I normally have good judgement and can figure people out in meaning what their intentions are. Thanks for the reply.

USA girl , Good thing you found out who he really was earlier than later on, imagine it would have been worse if you had married him or had a child by him.
I'm so mad on your behalf, may the asshole never ever smell the western world ever again if he doesn't fix his ways.
Don't worry karma is a bitch, you'll soon find out He's the type that deserve bad things to come his way.

Hi ..
Im married to a wonderful man from algeria.
The good thing bout him his not like many man i read about  on internet. Asking money... Abusive... Very vulgar... And many more...
We met thru internet and been on a long distance realtionship for 2 years before he decided to come to me..
I invited him to come to my country... But as a man he and me plan everything before he come...
He did ask where is he gonna stay. How much he needs to bring... As at that moment he quit his job to be with me. As u know to find a job is not easy in algeria especially from his city Khenchela...
Moral of the story is... His expenses is all on him. He bought his own ticket.. Pay the place to stay here in my country...

But now we have other issue. Cos he cant stay here too long so he have to go back to his country 1st then come back again.
To my surprise his family doesnt wanna help him. He went back to his family home. But when he reach he was chase out from the house becos he comes back without money or anything... Inside my heart wtf.... So he stay in streets... Work during the day to find money for his airticket and come back..
But 1 day his brother saw him on the streets and call few of his friends to beat him up.
They tried to kill him. But they let him go once people around start shoutin and call the police.
Both his brother and his parents when his with me here everyday called and ask about him and say missed him. But its a total different story to his family. His family curse him cos his not makin use of me and ask for money to give it to them.
Im so disappointed. Actually.. Not all algerian man are bloodsuckers... Even they speak the language we speak sometimes you have to explain...becos in their culture, it u are a guest... Food accomodation everything is on the host. Its best u explain to him.
For me the reason i join this forum is i would like to engage a lawyer to sue his family for defamation... And i would like to know on how i could make his brother be fired from military becos of their gangster behaviour. And his parents for accusing him and make him lose his water face.
If anyone knew please let me know

Sorry for the late reply I’ve been away from here forever.
Omg his family are terrible.
So what has happened ever since have you two sorted things out?
As for my situation it’s still the same nothing changed, the man I’m ‘dating’ is still relaxing hasn’t made any moves lol 😂 I’m not even bothered anymore I’m waitong for the perfect moment to be like, right! You’ve had your two years almost three entertaining me now I’ve had enough.

You’re right about how they expect the one inviting to take care of everything because they’re the guests, but I still think it’s good to come prepared cos you never know what’s gonna happen you know?

Hi from US in similar situation, can you advise?

I am Pakistani. I got married to one Algerian Lady . I went to Algeria and we got married there. Later I brought her to Dubai on wife sponsorship visa . There is nothing difficult in it.Only few docs are required and Embassy or consulate in UAE will help you.

If anyone needs help I will send all the details .

But my experience is not good with my wife. She is very beautiful, very religious , clean and almost perfect in all regards but she has some issues with her morality.

Recently I had a very bad time with my business and health. I had to return to Pakistan but she denied to go with me. I was really shocked. We have one daughter and she has been back to Algeria. I have been to Algeria and now she is not calling or answering me easily. Last week I called her and asked her because I really missed her but she told me “ What to discuss? There is nothing new to talk, why  do you call daily?”

Can anybody tell me what is all this??
Is the world so cunning? Have we lost morality to this level? I swear I have loved her beyond limits. I am passing through very hard times.

She looks to be a wife of Good Time only !!

By the way I had a very good business and I was going to buy a villa on her name !! But it didnt happen and better I had not.

I belong to a very rich family but I had not shown the reality to her. Now I am moving to Canada and shifting my business there . Now I am healthy and I hope I will stand again and I have made my mind I will never return to her.

For any support , please write to me and I will guide you.

I’m sorry to hear this. May her heart be softened. Good luck to you in your new adventures in Canada.!!

Mine didn't help me with the expenses either, I paid for everything. I live in the United States and he still lives in Algeria. we are married and going through the immigration process...I have went to Algeria several times and its expensive. I not only paid for the trips I also paid for his Sym Bike, a computer, bed, cabinet to keep his Nike and Adidas clothes in, his diesel watch and phone.. Plus I had to give him hundreds of dollars every month and he didn't care that it was causing me a financial hardship, he didn't pay for anything.

He was so loving and nice at first but after about a year he turned into a totally different person he started talking about how other women were sexy and I wasn't, and that he wanted a second wife and if I didn't like it he would leave me. He would criticize my appearance and be mean and hateful with me and argue and fight with me every day. He blamed all of our problems on me and said that I was the worst thing that ever happened to him. He would accuse me of saying and doing things that I didn't say or do.  He would pick fights with me and then I wouldn't hear from him for weeks.

I have caught him several times chatting privately with other women and when I confronted him about it he would rage and blame me for it and then give me the silent treatment for weeks..He stopped telling me he loved me and that I was wrong to expect him to show love to me or say it when I was causing him so much stress. I don't know what stress he's talking about I am over 6000 miles away and he doesn't work he gets free money...I have to work extra and do everything. He threatens me with divorce all the time if I stand up for myself or confront him on any of his bull crap. But he still expects me to give him money every month.

Two weeks ago he told me that he wanted to go on a shopping spree and expected me to send him more money, I asked him to get a job to help out because I can't afford it. He got very angry, and told me that I just won an enemy and that it's over, and hasn't spoken to me since. This has been my experience with an Algerian man

....

sometime people over here  try to find someone and when they found it they just treat him like banknote .. some people try all their life to find nice woman ..but when he found it he treat her like slave and threaten her with "i will marry the second" ..looks like he was a don or king.. some woman do the same too ..starve to get married and when she found her nice groom.. she treat him like slave too .. never cook for him, or clean for him or even help him ...after all good heart met a good heart and if we met bad luck we just leave it to the fate .. nor to cry at his door.. we should clean out all the crap ..and vacuum all the mess and turn the pages ..until we have a nice wonderful person..

please don't feel that algerian men are like this greedy .. i had bad experience too but it's not the end of time ..

Hello everyone, am a new memeber here and i tried to read all the posts of this topics, this is my first time that i try to write here.
Well, first of all i want to thank you about your expressions and explanations of your stories, personnaly a lived a similar story with a girl form usa for 2 years from 2011 to 2013, and unfortunatly she was sheating on me after i find out her facebook account that she used without i know about it that contains a lot of pictures with her boy friend.
Any way, what am tring to say is that you can be with a serious person as you can be with a player and there is no relation with an algerian or other countries.
Personnally and in my case i sent a lot of present, postal card of this girl during this relation, and she never send me anything, i tried to meet her, but the she never made effort for that, i saved money which was very hard that time because i was just a student but she spent her money to change cares from one to a better one.
I didnt juge her she a free to do what ever she want with her money, but i discovred that's not fair that am tring to do for he but she didnt.
Know and talking about money it dependes the personality , if i dont have money i will do my maximum to be with my partner without telling her about my situation, and as u are paying the bill he will think that you are wealth and he will never stop to let you paying the bill.
And if he want really to quit the country because he want to improve his life situation as he is living in the third word all that he must to do is to choose an immigiration program as a canadian or austalian one and not to make a girl falling in love just to marry her and for the citiesenship.
Hope that my message was clear :)

I don't know what to tell you. I was talking someone for 4 years. They got mad cause I didn't send him some levi jeans he wanted. He said he talk again and be friends if I sent. I don't know why he stayed friends so long?  They are tricky.

Amy1976 :

I don't know what to tell you. I was talking someone for 4 years. They got mad cause I didn't send him some levi jeans he wanted. He said he talk again and be friends if I sent. I don't know why he stayed friends so long?  They are tricky.

you talked with a child that's all

He was 33 maybe immature

maybe there isn't a similarity between the body and the brain lol

Seriously was he trying to use me for 4 years

Amy1976 :

Seriously was he trying to use me for 4 years

Maybe after a period he release that

New topic