Hello Forum members.
Do you know any women's organization in HCM city that works with women experiencing violence, stalking, and abuse to suggest for a Vietnamese woman living in HCM and experiencing emotional torture? She wants to seek professional help.
Here is the background. A male she has known for five years is stalking her persistently that she is experiencing emotional torture. He started with anonymous phone calls several times a day, then uses his cell to call 11 times in one day. He calls as late as 11 pm, the screenshot of his calls she sent me shows. Then he started sending text messages in sequence. Today, he sent to the woman a letter and a photo of his baby girl less than 5 yrs old.
This woman does not know what else to do, she said, as she had told him to stop calling and texting her. But he continues. He has once told her he likes her for romantic relationship and that he can't stop thinking about her, bust she said she had told him she was not interested. She does not want to involve the police because she thinks the police will say he commits no crime but he is pursuing a woman he wants to marry, she told me.
I have known this woman and her parents when I visited HCM city and spent 34 days. Although I am back to Chicago, USA, I stay in touch with her and family. They were very kind people to me.
Please suggest the appropriate organization to send it to the woman to seek professional help.
Thank you.
A Vietnamese Woman Being Stalked Needs Help
First,change her phone number.
Here's a link to a recent article on domestic violence in Vietnam:
LINK
Unfortunately the mentality towards domestic violence is to watch and do nothing as shown here in this story.
http://tuoitrenews.vn/society/40280/man … rn-vietnam
Unfortunately, there's not much she an do, as far as official organizations or with the police. She should get her family involved. Traditionally, the father and older (or even younger) brother would protect her from this kind of behavior.
Sure the police don't have any grounds or an arrest yet. But they may actually don't have to. It may already be enough to ask a "befriended" official to visit him at his home as ask him firmly to stop. Showing him with screenshots that they know he called her from his cell if he denies it. Just scare him a little while staying on the brighter side of the law.
umm block the phone number?
Can't some men friends gang up on the guy and give him a message?
Having seen this exact thing before, I believe that this is a not unusual mode of Vietnamese male pursuit. Look, here is the plot: the man, poorly skilled in romance, has a daughter, he needs a mother for her, he has some history with this girl; he is now divorced, and this girl is single. If he knows other girls, he is probably pestering them too. She is not in any danger, just annoyed. She is not telling you the whole story, and in fact you are a victim of manipulation if she is saying 'abuse' and 'torture'. She has you worked up trying to solve her problem.
The Vietnamese solution is that only by entering into a serious relationship, and better yet marriage, with someone else, does she thereby becomes unavailable to this Romeo, and he will give up, defeated.
So it is up to you: now get back from Chicago and be her heroic rescuer, she needs to hook up! 
My lady was being pestered by a Vietnamese man down in the Delta, she went to the police and they told her to move as there was nothing they could do - he hadn't committed any crime - Yet - so she asked her brothers and his friends to talk to the man...........they did............stopped for awhile, then started again..........she changed her number. But that isn't the way it should have been resolved - the Police should have done something . I as advised by the police not to get involved as I am a foreigner and we are not married - it would go very bad for me in the eyes of the law. I will protect us and our property, but to go looking for a fight.........?? No.
tunnelrat69 wrote:My lady was being pestered by a Vietnamese man down in the Delta, she went to the police and they told her to move as there was nothing they could do - he hadn't committed any crime - Yet - so she asked her brothers and his friends to talk to the man...........they did............stopped for awhile, then started again..........she changed her number. But that isn't the way it should have been resolved - the Police should have done something . I as advised by the police not to get involved as I am a foreigner and we are not married - it would go very bad for me in the eyes of the law. I will protect us and our property, but to go looking for a fight.........?? No.
Social behaviour in VN has a lot of bad points. Not my words, words from my VN family and friends.
Get a new SIM card and change phone numbers.
And, no, perhaps he hasn't committed a crime YET, but that kind of abusive behaviour is signs of instability.
As bribery is commonplace in VN, the woman can slip the police a VND500,000 note as a heads up and at least establish a history at that point.
The poster "gobot" may be on to something about the full truth not having yet been revealed to you yet. Have experienced that myself with my VN ex-gf, who was 'ashamed' and did not want to tell me everything about her similar situation. In any case, if she can turn to you who can do very little from Chicago, then she can probably involve people who speak VN (sorry, I may be presumptuous that you don't speak VN).
Have a man answer the phone next time he calls (a man who this friend is unfamiliar with...not her father or brother..someone he will assume is an 'interested friend/bf) . And, if she decides to keep her phone number then don't empower the caller by answering the call and responding.
Really sucks to be unable to help a friend in need particularly when you're far away (have been there myself). Good luck!
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