I am often asked why Gringos return to their home countries so quickly after moving here. It is difficult to answer. My experience is that more often than not, it's for the same reason(s). Failure to assimilate and failure to accept things for the way they are.
My experience this past week was “very typical” of the way things go here. Here's my story:
I had a simple task (I chuckle here), my cell phone was no longer receiving internet signal when I left home and I just needed it fixed. So I took a trip down to my cell phone service provider, Kolbi to have it corrected. It's located in the local Mall that opens at 10:00. Arrived there about 10:30 only to find out that the mall may open at 10:00 but Kolbi doesn't open ‘till 11:00. No worries, went downtown, got an ice cream and returned at 11:00.
So when they opened at 11:10 I went in and explained my issue. I was informed that the reason the internet was not working was that I was not on a plan that offered internet service. Interesting, I've been using it for over a year. When I told the representative of this he said, “No, you have not.” Needless to say, I had to chuckle. I know how it works here and knew better than to argue, serves no purpose.
So he explained that I would just need to expand the current plan I was on. "Great! Please do that." He looked at my Cedula, the plastic credit card like card that shows that I am a resident. It reflected that it had expired earlier in the month. It was renewed four months prior to this but immigration is severely backed up and the cards are arriving “months” after they are due to arrive. He also said that he was aware of that situation as well. I had with me the immigration document that showed I had paid for the renewal and that new Cedula card would be at my local post office on or about January 2nd - it was now January 26th and yet no card.
The Kolbi rep then explains that because my Cedula is expired I cannot change my cell phone plan. Yes, I have the paper that shows that it's been renewed and he's fully aware of the problems of getting Cedulas on time. If my Cedula is expired or not, it has no affect on whether or not I will or will not pay my cell phone bill in the future. Now he tells me I will need to go down to the Municipality, (similar to where county records are kept), to obtain a “Personeria.” Basically, a document that shows I have no debts.
So I buzz back downtown to the municipality and wait in line for about forty-five minutes - to be expected. Very nice lady waited on me, looks up my records and tells me she cannot issue me a Personeria because my property taxes have not been paid. I explain to her that they were paid a few weeks prior. I am then informed that it just has not been recorded yet and that I'll have to wait until the records have been updated.
So, although I've had internet connection for the past 1-2 years, I now don't have it because I have paid for the renewal of my Cedula but immigration is backed up and because although I have paid my property taxes it's not recorded yet. So in the mean time Kolbii simply make less money. ...deeper and deeper we go down the rabbit hole.
And you ask, “What does any of this have to do with cell phone service?” It doesn't. Then you may as the question, “WHY?” Don't, you cannot do that here. Seriously, asking “why” here is one of the downfalls of the Gringos that move here. Don't ask why, it will drive you nuts. Things are the way they are and if you cannot accept them the way there are... d o n o t m o v e h e r e.
This is the perfect example of how life is here. Things don't often make sense. There seems to be a huge deficit of common sense. Again, very seriously, you cannot let it get to you. You have to learn to laugh it off and see the humor in it. My phone experience really was very funny to me because in some ways I expect it.
It reminds me of the prayer that AA uses, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. The catch to living in Costa Rica is to have the wisdom and the courage to accept that you cannot change a damn thing and you'd better be able to accept them just the way there are.
Bottom Line -
If you are not a calm, accepting person who can almost always see the humor in life, this is most likely not the place for you.
- Expat Dave