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Girlfriend experience in dominican republic

Good afternoon
I am from new York City had difficult time to find girlfriend, I am 37 years old have a good income, in a good  physical shape.
I came to sousua 3 month ago. First night I went to bars to look for girl, it seems like everybody don't take less than 3 mil, pesos, after bargaining I found young girl and took her to my place. First night was great she did everything perfect.
She told me she works in a restaurant and that she never done this time of work, she only did it because she likes me.  I kept her for 6 days, she really worked in the restaurant. I had great experience she cooked cleaned the house a follow me to the pool and ocean. We exchange contacts.
Two weeks later she called me told me she being laid off and ask me for money, I told her I be there in 2 month I give you like last time 300 dollars,  but she told me she needed for her children right now .I said I don't operate line that, but she said I thought I was your girlfriend.
We texted through was up application for about a month she told me she can't wait to kiss me and be with me.She is faithful to me, It felt good but one day I told her you speak beautiful words, I want to see you in action. She stopped texted me since is been a week.
I knew it is too good to be true, I be there next month I will pretend to be gullible.

You met her in a bar and paid for sex the first night. Girlfriend????

Your story is the same as many others have experienced here.  If you want to meet a real girl, the bar is not the place.  You should look for someone that has the same financial stature as yourself and yes, they are available.  Relationships are complicated at best but sincerity is almost impossible.

Oh my goodness. 

She is not a good girl.
This was not her first time.
She is not loyal to you.
And girlfriend is not the term to use.

Sosua is full of prostitutes at night. Many other locations that rely on tourists are full of prostitutes at night.   Do not go looking for a girl in those types of places. In fact until you are NOT  a tourist then the odds of you finding a "good" girl are zero to none.

The same rules apply to women looking for a boyfriend. Until you are not a tourist, forget about it.

AND once you are not a tourist it is still damn hard to find a good person.

Slavic12;  You have to learn what the world 'chapeadora', and 'cuero' mean there. 
In the first place 3k is WAAAY too much.  And they'll all still ask you for more.  Last time a girl told me her grannie would die if she didn't get her an operation, I told her I'd pray for her everyday.

Thank you for your comments
She refused to take money when I gave her on the morning she told me she thinks I am a good person. But there were days when she would ask of double that amount. I always paid her each day to what we agreed on.She went to work each day and came at night. After 3 days she told me she wants to go to airport with me. I said enjoy moment I think about it. It seems like she was upset for not agreeing with her.
One day when I went to pick her up from work, I let her pick motochoncho, to my suprized when he drove us he asked for double rate at the end. I was mad at her how she didn't negotiate a deal it was like 2 dollars extra, but it is principle, she never apologized

Slavic12;  They'll try every trick in the book.   Her salary working is probably no more than 8k for a whole month; yet they think they deserve 2 or 3k for just one night.  And they only try it out because naive gringos are dumb enough to pay it.   They're almost all  'cueros', or 'chapeadoras'.

Quite right, this is a giant game and you won't win so stop playing.

I can't even comment on this.  This  is the smae story over and  over again.  Just enjoy the sex, pay for  it, and don'g expect anything more.

Bob  K

I agree with Bob..Pay for sex if you need to but never say that shes your girlfriend..When in your own country have you ever paid a "girlfriend " for sex and to be around and cook and clean for you..NEVER.. As Planner said..All the girls in Bars at night are generally hookers and should never be considered Girlfriends.. I have been here 15 yrs now and ran and operated a scuba diving centre in Cabarete ( now sold)..Through the course of conducting business with the owners of the hotel I met a receptionist and we have now been married 8 years after being together 12..She has never asked me for money and our first several dates involved a member of her family coming with us as a chapperone. She comes from a very humble family in a not so rich area but their core values are strong. She actually asked me if I minded her finding a job as she wanted to have her own money independent of me to help support our family. I hit the jackpot with her and we are still very happy together.. Basically my point is.... if you look in the right places there are women here who are  looking for exactly what serious guys are...A steady relationship..to be looked after ( goes both ways) and to have a family.  Take your time and be a gentleman and look in shops and banks and other business places..NEVER AT NIGHT AFTER DARK as all the great girls are usually at home with their families..
JUST MY 2 CENTS WORTH...

Great post and congratulations to both of you!!!

Finally a positive note.  So good to hear.

Yes, that Scuba Andy is also correct.  Mostly gringos don't meet normal girls too much.  One guy I knew there said a good way too was to go to some church and try to find one there.   Another angle is too find one of the many Haitian girls that live in the dr.  They are more humble, etc than those dominican 'chapeadoras'.

And guys the same works in reverse.  Women  do not often get to meet good guys here.  They are not interested in tourists or in  women who may or may not stay here. They are not looking to date a gringa.

It takes time and a commitment to living here before they will pay any attention to you.

Thank you so much

Hi Slavic,
I am around your age and I have been 11 times in RD in the past 3 years. Same as you, I have a very decent life, I am decent looking and make good money but always single and "unlucky" with western women..I have had 1 serious distant relationship in RD and numerous other flings with dominicanas (I can't even count them now). There are so many things that I can tell from my experience that I could almost write a book..

Truth is we single men in RD are like a kid roaming at Toys'R'us  (Toy Store if you don't know) :gloria . We wonder whom we can pick..they are (almost) all beautiful, young, easy going and very feminine and they make us feel we are all George Clooney... I can't count the number of times I have been hit by even 19 years old girls who weren't hookers but simple girls working in restaurants. The last I met was very decent looking at working at the Airport of Santo Domingo.

Now let tell you this girl has done everything written in the Book of perfect chapiadora (dominican word for gold-digger). Here are most common lines:

- Lost job:  3 girls that I had had flig with told me they lost the job few days when I was back in my country. It seems that dating me brings bad luck lol...
- She or someone of the family is sick and needs money (common BS....heath care is free in RD even if standards are not very high)
- The kid's birthday or her birthday is coming soon..What a wonderful coincidence.
- Her telephone is broken and she can't talk or chat with you... (another funny coincidence, the phone breaks just after your leave).

If you make them understand there is nothing to expect from you, you stop existing! You will have the silence treatment or how going from 100 whatsatpp messages to zero overnight.

Sosua is the Capital of hookers and it is nothing like the real life in RD. It is just a touristic place where lots of single guys go and have fun. And there is nothing wrong as long as it makes you happy without any emotional attachment.

Like Planner said very wisely and my experience has confirmed totally her advice:

If you want to meet a good  girl in this country you need to live in RD or go very often in extended time not just for relaxing in resorts. There are plenty of good girls in this country but they are busy studying and working to be someone in life and they never go looking for tourists. Just put yourself in their shoes: why would they put up with a distant relationship if they have no other interest than financial support or visa or moving away?

Most of the girls in touristic places are single mothers who look for a foreign husband to fix their lives.. Romantic feelings are just an option not a requirement.. They go and work there not only for job but also purposely to meet strangers. There is nothing wrong with having a serious relationship or even marry a Dominican women, just make sure that they have genuine romantic interest which is not the case when money and gifts are involved in the very early stages.

Thanks for input. Like you said she lost a job next week after I left. She was texting me a lot through what up, sending me photos of her and children. I love you, can't wait to see you. But when I told her I will not send her money, she stop text me. I said I be there every 3 month I bring you money, no I want it right now.  Then she was asking me for phone. I said I will get you nokia lumia smart phone with all apps. She only wanted iphone 6. I said no problem give me 400 dollars I buy you one

Yes, it's good to test them in ways like that.  One time I was going to give an old phone to a girl and she said it wasn't good enough for her....end of relationship.    It's also better to find a girl with  no kids, (yes, there are a few around).  Otherwise they'll try to get you to support the  whole familily, and raising her kids.

Like I said the broken phone is one of most common line Chapiadora's book.  And she doesn't accept anything less than an iPhone 6? wow...give me a break. She is looking for a sugar daddy plain simple, plus everything is on her conditions.

You paid her company, you had fun. End of the story. What can you reasonably expect with her in the future? You know Slavic, there are zillions of beautiful girls in RD. She is a drop of water in a ocean.

If you still like to date dominicanas the next time start clean with "zero hooker/zero children" rule. There are plenty of girls without children and less drama. You just need to be selective and patient.

It doesn’t matter if you are 37 or 60, most men cannot resist those young girls sitting on that 19-year-old flower. It is easy to find in the DR or any other 3rd world country.  It can become an addiction if you let is control your hormones and stop using your bigger brain. You will never get into a long and lasting serious relationship if you allow sex to be your first priority. Finding someone closer to your own age should be your first priority. Until you do, take Bobs advice, pay for it with no strings attached and move on.

StanR :

It doesn’t matter if you are 37 or 60, most men cannot resist those young girls sitting on that 19-year-old flower.   It can become an addiction if you let is control your hormones and stop using your bigger brain. You will never get into a long and lasting serious relationship if you allow sex to be your first priority. Finding someone closer to your own age should be your first priority.

Hi Stan, I am not advocating going after 19 years old girls. Talking for myself, I never take them seriously and ever been with a 19 years old in DR.

It is not about sex in my opinion. It is more about people with emotional void and being in a place when women are beautiful, cool and easy. Like I said, it is like taking a child deprived from toys in a toy shop. The same goes for western women who go with dominican guys 10+ years younger because no one looks at them in their country. Some people lose their reason and feel they have found the love of their lives. Others have fun and go home. It is a question of reality check.

This board is about helping people to make informed decisions - I wouldn't be judgmental or tell a 37 years old how his sex life should be..  :)

Fair enough, and we don't see many 60 year old guys wanting 60 year old women.  And I don't mind if ALL THOSE old white gringas like to date 20 year old sankypankies, or whatever they call those chulos.

Sorry Eri76 that it came across that way. The 19 year old was just a number but mostly referring to younger girls. I did say most men but not all.

My goodness, I cannot believe what I am reading on this forum. Seriously, people why leaving your country to go to another country and continuing the same behavior from back home.  I really don't get it, these women you men are complaining about are this way, because you support this kind of behavior. They know all well all you want from them is SEX therefore, they are offering you a service in which they expect to get paid for it. I am a Canadian single female from Canada, I am a well educated, smart, and I always carry myself like a lady nowadays, men in Canada they are not interested in serious relationship anymore, all they are looking for is multiple sexual encounters so they can go around bragging how many women they slept with when they meet a woman who asks for money, then they got upset.  I find it so degrading the way men treat women in general. personally, I rather be alone for the rest of my life instead of having anything to do with these kind of me.  I volunteered in many different shelters for women who worked as sex workers, you wouldn't believe what is going on out there, prostitutions still exist because men are the main reason why is still exist; we have what we call pimp's, and human trafficking are a multi-billion industry managed mostly by men, and for men. So stop encouraging a phenomenon that is bringing perpetuate, generational misery.  Do you part to make the world a better place, so when you leave this planet you will be happy that you make a difference into the world. SOME FOOD FOR THOUGHT!

My sentiments exactly.

I was also talking about all the old ladies who hook up with young sankie pankies in the dr.    I don't see the problem if they want to have some pleasure in life with a boy-toy.  And usually those 60 year old ladies don't want 60 year old dominicans, but young ones, and it mostly the case with gringo old men too; few want a 60 year old novia.

Not condoning prostitution in any way but if you have lived here for many years you will also know the problem is not exacerbated from foreign men paying for sex....they are actually helping the situation with many of these young girls.Many girls I have spoken to in my single days said that if they could get a job that pays well they would leave the streets immediately... The problem is very young women having sex or being violated by Dominican men...many times family relations... who get them pregnant and then sod off.. The men take no responsibility at all ......a huge percent do not take care of the child leaving the woman and her family the task. This is the MAIN reason there is so much prostitution here...women are forced to do it as it is the only thing they can do.. Many are too uneducated to find jobs and are left with no option..
As I said before I do not condone it and in certain areas of the Dominican Republic it is a real problem..However it is the oldest profession in the world and right or wrong I doubt it will go away.. Only thing help groups can do is educate and inform young girls and young men  but culture plays an important element too.

Exactly, and it's similar for many men.  They have no marketable skills, no jobs, etc. so those who are good looking enough, etc. will try to find an  old gringa lady to support them.   In fact on a positive point, these sorts of direct foreign aid contributions are much more valuable than the official ones, who skim off most of the money for themselves.

I totally agree with Scuba.

There are many reasons and roots that explain the prostitution. Many girls with low education mostly from countryside have casual relationships with no sex protection with local guys who don't care about getting them pregnant. Once their girlfriend has a baby they disappear for not paying child support and start with a new girl..Many girls find themselves jobless with a child so they pick the easy way out. Imagine when a young lady comes back from Sosua to her village and keeps the whole family with money and sometimes even builds a new house. That gives some temptations to her female neighbors. Some girls have MANY foreign "boyfriends" and go weekly at the Western Union to receive their "help for sick mother, sick baby, broken phone and so on....."

However this is not the norm of the country. Thing is, as a tourist you will be exposed to this kind of women who actively look for either a future husband or a sugar daddy. Most of the Dominican women live a normal life and try to make a living on their own or with help from family.

It all boils down to the fact that as a casual tourist/ or at touristic places there are few chances that you meet decent and "good" girls in RD.

mr........soso, if have sex with her ,why you find it so hard to give her some money..so  very cheap and low. you would wine and dine a new york girl and spend your life savings but she is below you to spend on her.

VERY SAD,

Cause is no guarantee  she will be there when I come over it is a scam

Perhaps the thread title needs an edit to "Prostitute experience".
I am as yet not sad, pathetic or stupid enough to try to catch AIDS that way, but I can see how some are.
My main concern would be for the girls as I'm pretty sure a good number are effectively being exploited because poverty gives them few options, whilst others are likely kidnapped and forced into work, meaning the customer is a rapist.

Most of these girls aand boys are victims of poverty but not all.

Fred we have little need here for sexual slavery - there are way too many willing and able.  BUT there are Dominican girls taken offshore and enslaved.

AND there are instances of children being drugged and used as sex slaves but not many.

Any man who has sex with anyone under the age of consent should be strung up!  Any woman having sex with anyone under the age of consent should be strung up!

Two adults engaging in pay for play - that's up to you unless one or the other is abusive.

No it shouldn't be since some of us talked about 'normal' gfs.  And you insult us when you say we are....''sad, pathetic or stupid ''.   Nor did I see anybody mention that they want to catch AIDS.

Yes Fred your choice of words is rather insulting. Really not needed when you know so little about this country and its problems!!!

planner :

Yes Fred your choice of words is rather insulting. Really not needed when you know so little about this country and its problems!!!

Perhaps you're right; that's what a rough upbringing in a Yorkshire town does for you; we tend to call sex tourists, "sex tourists".
We're generally very direct, leaving subtle to other people, so when someone goes into a bar to buy a girl's services, we tend to say it's prostitution, not looking for a girlfriend, especially when he admits paying for sex with her.

If you mean my opinions regarding sex tourists, yes, I think they're pathetic. Met loads in Asia, and really don't think the mentality much changes with geographical location. You have to see the slimy items negotiation with three genders of prostitute before you realise how vile they are. Seriously, anything with a hole will do, age and the possession of a penis or not being of no importance as long as they ejaculate into something at what they think is an acceptable price.
Frankly, they made me feel like puking with their horrible antics.
Even worse, they make the 'workers' and everyone else assume all westerners are the same, so I couldn't enjoy my holiday in any of the tourist areas because I was being pestered by prostitutes just walking down the road. I gave up going into bars after the first night in Phuket because it was just a crapfest with a line of prostitutes all trying their luck.

Learning as much as possible about any and every country is always a good idea, but some things remain constant.
One of those is the HIV rate amongst sex workers is always a lot higher than it is in the general population, so the possibility of an AIDS related death for prostitute users is going to be far higher, hence the comment about trying to catch AIDS.

I've been a little off colour and very busy over the last few days so I've had little time to do much research, but it seems the AIDS rate was declining until the sex tourism industry caused the numbers to climb again, so It seems our inglorious OP is part of a very serious problem.

Tell you what, I'll retract my previous remarks, just leaving a mention I'll chop my penis off if I ever do anything that stupid.

First night I went to bars to look for girl, it seems like everybody don't take less than 3 mil, pesos, after bargaining I found young girl and took her to my place. First night was great she did everything perfect.

According to the prostitution/sex tourist sites for that country, the payment for a quick shag seems to hover above US$20, rising to US$100 for a full night of pleasure, meaning the OP was probably seriously overcharged anyway.
Still, she tidied the house and did a bit of washing so that saved on hiring a maid.

Really ! Is this a Troll, a joke or is this guy from another Planet !! I used to love Sosua 30 + years ago, when I was a young Peace Corps Volunteer. But it just kept getting seedier ...  If you want to get a real Dominican girlfriend, stay far away from tourist bars !! Go inland ! Jarabacoa has the most beautiful women on the island ! Meet one at Church .... While I am certain there are beautiful wholesome young Dominican women in and around Sosua, just as in any Country, if there is a "fee" involved, you are on the wrong track !!

Well said.

I waited 3month and went back to sousua to see my girl. I turn out she was tell me truth, at the bar that she worked I seen new hired girls,but one the same. Why would bar owners hire people for one month then fire, it is so heartless. But anyway she moved from sasua to different city 3 hours away.
To my suprise when we were texting she never mentioned that. She told me for her to come I need to pay taxi 75$, I told her take public transportation it would cost $5, she says I don't have any money. I told her don't come. She told me she is going to use public,but she used provid, so I had to pay 75, which I will take from her pay.
In bed she is the best so far,I feel so great, i feel alive like I am in love. I told her I be back in two month. I think I will buy her iphone 5 because she treats me better than pedre calisante girls

Troll, and moron !

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