Moving and getting married in Pakistan

Hi guys,

I just want to ask if it's really that hard to get married in Pakistan especially when you're a foreigner and marrying a Pakistani guy? He said it would be so hard for me because there are a lot of factors like culture, society and especially religion. I am willing to convert to islam if i'll get married with him though our relationship is stable now. I just want to know what you guys think marrying a Pakistani and living there for the rest of my life? is there even racial discrimination?

It depends upon people and family more than the culture. Acceptance is easier in the 3 big cities than in other.
Good luck


Thanks for you reply:) just scared if there is ever racial discrimination because im asian.

Hey Dawnabee!

Taga Cebu pud ka! I would like to help you with your inquiries. Specifically made an account for this! Is there any way to contact you apart from this thread?

Cheers :)

yes :) i'll message you my details

Hi friend
It's depends on you,  it's not very hard if you like Pakistan you will adjust there,  and   if you want to convert to Islam really it's very good thing,

You can ask any question about Pakistan and islam. I'll guide you. Insha ALLAH

yes but i dont know if i'll get accepted by his family.

It's depends on your boy.

Depends on financial status of ur lover and his family background and norms, mostly people of rural areas do not accept these things. other thing it will be better if guy comes to your country and you people live there. if he denies then forget he he is cheating.

I do not know what to comment on this.

We know nothing on how you two met? who you are? what does he do for living? where does he live?

I have seen lots of 'mixed marriages' that work and a lot more that do not.

Every time there are entirely different sets of circumstances.  :unsure

Hi Dawnabee,

Whether you get accepted for marriage or not will totally depend on his family and their values.
If the family is modern , open minded then you do stand a chance of getting accepted, whereas If the family is conservative than you may struggle to get accepted.

Pakistanis are generally warm and friendly people when it comes to hospitality.

But when it involves a slightly more serious matter such as marriage then there can be some complications especially if you are a non Muslim and from a foreign country.

I would strongly suggest you talk to him about the issue of whether his family are going to accept you or not being a non muslim and from a foreign country.

Hello Dawnabee,

I hope you know and understand the most important custom of marriage in Pakistan. I hope your fiance has informed you about it.

Every bride is expected to be a VIRGIN on the night of wedding, your sister and mother in law will be waiting outside your bedroom to celebrate. :heart:  :heart:

thank you!

riazcdki thank you! maybe i can try to tell you in private message.

Hello behappy786,

Thank you for your reply! much appreciated. Yes, i did but i feel like he is even scared to tell his parents, most of his friends dont know maybe some of them do know. I just felt like i tried to give everything to this guy but in then end i wont be accepted for who i am.

Hi riazcdki,

i dont mean to sound a bit rude but then as if everyone is a virgin there before getting married. I guess it would be such hypocritical to say that you have to be a virgin and this era. Almost people in my age isnt a virgin. That expectation is such an illusion when most of the people is not even a virgin.

The issue sounds confusing.

If this boy has not disclosed your relationship to his parents then he is just wasting your time, because it is not his friends who need to accept you but it is his family which is most important.

You probably also need to know that in our middle to lower middle socio economic segments of society, a boy totally relys on the money and property he would inherit from his elders and one can not afford to go against their wishes and will.

I will discuss the issue of virginity with you on PM, I am sorry to say it is not how you feel is fair, we need to know what the expectations and norms are in a muslim country. Please check Google to check what percentage of girls are virgins before marriage in muslim countries. :dumbom:

Hi Dawnbee
Im mexican  married to a muslim men and its really true that HIS FAMILY MUST KNOW ABOUT YOU and THIS RELATIONSHIP . The muslim family is the most important thing for them , their economic , emotional and social support relies on the parents.
You should insist him to be presented and show them your willingness to change religion , trust me , you will win points for that!
And is really really REAAAALLLLYYYY important this "virgin issue" , also trust me on this one , they dont accept this kind of "reasons" about "the new era" or "the sexual freedom"  , is still a taboo topic specially for the elders members of the families.
Try to win his parents and family hearts , they can be your best friends and allies or the worst enemy , that depends on how you manage yourself , always look after their traditions, religion principles and specially be nice to the elders members.
Good luck !
About living in Pakistan , they love the foreign persons and once they know you are muslim , they always are so nice to me in all the places.( They always ask me if Im Asian :)   , hehe )
I live in a small town , just half of the year and in Mexico the other half , so it can be a little bit boring  and difficult to live with all the family (because you will be living in the same house with your parents in law , and his singles siblings or their wifes of his brothers with the nephews , you know, the tradition, is that all the family lives together!).
And there are not so many chances for workin with a good salary for the men , so a lot of them look for working abroad.

About marriage process , I got married in 3 days , since the first time we met till the day of the weeding, its really easy the preparation (requieres a lot of money avalable, but still easy), because my husband is the head of the family , his parents died years ago , so the decision was him to make and his sisters and brothers and elders members didnt stand against his decision.
The difficult part that he is talking about is when he is not the head of the family and he needs the parent´s aproval .

Thanks LIZ V for the detailed insight of muslim family.

This can only be felt and experienced, not explained in words specially to people from different continents, races and religions. :)

I am british born and bred..i am married a man from pakistan in 1999, and live here in the Uk. We have 3 lovely children. I always wanted to settle in Pakistan after i got married but unfortunately that is rarely possible straight after marriage because every person rich or poor in pakistan will do anything to get out of pakistan and have another nationality. I still dont understand it till this day as pakistan is a beautiful place to live. 2010 i moved to pakistan with my 3 children and my husband came back to the Uk after settling us. And you know what? They were the best 3 years of my life! The kids loved it too. I came to realise even more while living there that there is a craze to obtain foreign nationality and to do that they have to usually marry someone from abroad.
As for him telling you that u will find it hard to live in Pakistan...that's his attempt to get that idea out of your head otherwise his dream of citizenship of another country will be shattered.
He may possibly be a genuinely good guy like my husband...but ultimately their first love is a foreign passport!  So if hes the right guy for u...go ahead with marrying him but forget your dream of living there permanently until he gets his forein passport! 
Sorry if it sounds harsh but its the truth whether they admit it or not.

Hello Friends,

I some how fail to digest the above.

I have a British nationality too but I only use it to avoid time to apply for visas for EU , USA and Canada when I go  on holidays or business and I have always preferred to live and work in Pakistan.

I recently got my work visa to Saudi Arabia ( in 2014) on my Pakistani passport because it was easier for my Saudi employer to quickly get visa for Pakistani Engineer rather than British.

Most of my extended family members are happily working for multi national companies, working as qualified professionals and successful businessmen in PAKISTAN and many are US or UK nationals.

I honestly believe that Pakistan has the best opportunity for Pakistani origin people, every one respects you, love you, you enjoy your culture, food, relations and tourism, this is your HOME.

I have always felt insecure and been racially discriminated in the north of England, and other EU countries on countless occasions.

In Pakistan, I walk into the office of president of a bank or CEO of a multinational company just by knocking at his door. Mind it , I am not very rich and I hardly have 'connections'.

There are a few irritants though but the advantages out weigh them, I do not believe that some one will want to have a 'marriage of convenience' to get a Philippine nationality.

Politically and economically, one can feel the improvement, people are standing up against corrupt politicians and construction of Pak-China corridor, connecting Arabian sea to China is changing the whole game. I see Europeans and Americans coming and living in Pakistan to work at large projects. :one

sure, no racial discrimination but in middle class people are bit conservative however good luck

No issue easily you can get marry just step forward towards your Love.

Talking to someone who is 6 years into an interracial marriage with an amazing Pakistani man I'd tell you to seriously reconsider. I adore my husband he is my life but after everything we'be been through I don't know if I'd do it again. I often feel bad that he doesn't have a traditional Pakistani wife. I feel that he misses out on a lot always trying to mesh the two worlds that just don't mesh and never will. More than likely even if he thinks his family will be ok with you they won't. Those feelings and views are too ingrained and it'll work the same way on your side.  No matter how open you think your family is that will come crashing all around you when you're married. Be prepared to never (as a couple) fit in anywhere. One of you will always feel out of place. If you're 110% ready for the struggle of your life for the rest of your life then go for it but if you have reservations then just don't.

See bad experience can happen with anyone but if talk about overall ratio then i must say majority keep their promises.
most important thing is willingness, if both are willing then they can make everything possible even they can convene their families.
Life never stop look forward and explore it.
Thank you

Your comment is very interesting. So how is life nkw with you and your husband is it going well?

I'm not sure if you were responding to my comment or not but if you were ....

He and I are fine and we always will be. It'll always be a struggle but he and I will always be fine. We truly love each other enough that we work tens times harder to find compromises. It is hard and when I think we've gotten past it all something new comes up. You just have to be determined to not give up. You have to be "all in", you have to work together and know that giving up isn't an option. It's hard I won't lie. If I had to do it over again knowing what I know now I don't know what I'd do. It's not impossible but it's hard. I really hope it all works out for you and keep us posted.

Remember patience does matter and sometime what we expect that doesn't happen but never lose tolerance and patience. Some time God( Allah subhana ) test you and put you in trouble and some time our sins bring hard time then you lose your faith to compare with others. This short description is enough for understanding for the wise people and they seek path if Allah light their wisdom.

In this situation it's not about tests from anyone or sins.  It's simply merging two very different lifestyles and beliefs and the natural struggles that come with that.  This is a unique situation, I think, because the cultures are so very different. Literally you will have no similarity only love for each other to hold you together. Random people on here can spout off anything they want but unless you're living this particular situation you can't know.

It is unique. No other countries have such an ingrained lifestyles. Most any country you go to you can blend in and things aren't so completely opposite. Pakistani culture is very different and they are not used to different cultures. Therefore, they just expect for people to understand them and do things their way. That just doesn't happen over night. I've traveled a lot and have never seen a country with such an ingrained cultures as people in Asian countries. Marrying someone from almost any other country would be a much easier adjustment. It is unique and like I said unless you're on the outside looking in you cannot understand.

Hi everyone,

i have removed several off-topic posts from this thread. We are looking for practical information on the forum, to facilitate the move of the initial poster.

If you want to discuss about philosophy or linguistics, please feel free to start your own topic in the Expat Cafe - open discussions section of the forum.

Thanks in advance,

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