Seeking for someAdvices that wil make up my mind..

Hi There,

I have a silly love problem here that drives me nuts. I'm dating a Malaysian Chinese guy for 3 years to be exact. I met him here in the Philippines and currently his still living and supporting a telecom project. Well, for past 3 years everything goes well, he let me met her family, parents and siblings in Malaysia. And I let him met my family and relatives too and my DAUGHTER. His 32 years old and a bachelor. I am 28 years old. I can feel his effort and sincerity towards my family and my daughter and yes I am expecting for something. Something that i think were on the same page. I ask him about the marriage thing. In my surprised he told me this " I Don't have answer for that right now" . He still unsure if how far we can go, he still unsure about my daughter if he really can accept her and will treat her as his own. He still unsure for him self. In short his still unsure for everything to the point that even living/ staying together he doesn't want. 

I Love him enough to the point that I am still hoping that he will change his mind someday. And it hurts me so much. He said that Chinese people were conservative. He can not accept if people will say bad about my daughter.

How is true for the culture in Malaysia?
Does it really never happened there for marrying a single mom with a Chinese Guy?
Or is just HIM?

Hoping for your advices,

Hi Adhel,

I think it is very difficult to really know what his feelings are. Whether his parents and siblings accepted you wholeheartedly or not and would accept you as part of their family. In Chinese families, the parents have a lot of influence on who their children marry and usually the children will listen to what the parents want. Arranged marriages are pretty much a thing of the past but still every Chinese couple wants their son or daughter to make the right decision and a union that will be successful and accepted by all their friends and relatives and not frowned upon.

I do not know whether a lot of Chinese men readily accept to marry someone with a child or not. And you know that men do not like to be pushed or forced to talk about marriage unless they really want to get married. But his reluctance at this stage to make a commitment to marriage speaks quite loudly.

I am one of those who believe that six months is plenty of time to know if you really want to marry someone or not. So when you say that you have dated for 3 years, then I am certain that he must know how his feelings towards you are. If he did love you wholeheartedly then of course he should accept your daughter. But as a guy, I know that I do not like a girlfriend to bring up the subject or marriage as it is like being pressured. It is a subject that men usually prefer to bring up when they are ready.

Sorry I cannot give any real advice.


New topic

Questions and answers about Malaysia

Ask your question
Omar Salim
By Omar Salim
Looking for a Permanent Job immediately
By mageshwarianish
permanent Accounts & Finance job
By mageshwarianish
Malaysia My Second Home (MM2H)
By Guest
Foreigner buying a car with foreign income
By aawun

Expatriate health insurance in Malaysia

Free advice and quotation service to choose an expat health insurance in Malaysia

Moving to Malaysia

Find tips from professionals about moving to Malaysia

Travel insurance in Malaysia

Enjoy a stress-free travel across Malaysia

Flights to Malaysia

Find the best prices for your flight tickets to Malaysia