Need advice about my life

Hi Everybody, bonjour à tous,

I ‘am Denis from Belgium and I still live there. I am 39 years old and I have only one question left without having found the ideal answer or organization until now… I got separate from my ex wife 8 months ago. Two months later, I got back in touch with a magnificient woman, I always considered her as my soulmate… I met her 13 years ago during simple holidays abroad and I felt in love… but I took (13 years ago) the stupid decision not to continue the relation because afraid of distance, unexperienced in recognition of true feelings and not enough experience in life in general…. well most stupid decision I took… but we cannot turn back time.
But now I am in contact with her !! :-) and for 6 month now we share everyday our discussions, deep feelings, good and bad experiences, and projects…. she also tried to make her life but without successful experiences neither… I am living for 6 months this love story with her. Everything happens until now through internet… Both of us are convinced of our feelings and we want to give us a chance, OUR chance  ! :-)
She’s living in Dominicana and lead her own business in Dominicana Rep. For me I wouldn’t have any problem for adaptation to local life, find a job or launch a business and leave my « things » here in Belgium.

I have only one CRUCIAL question to which I have to find the ideal solution. I am the happiest father of my 9 years old daughter. Since we are separate, my ex and me have done everything so that our daughter keep her balance in this situation of separation. We communicate a lot with her, we LOVE her a lot and it seems she kept her balance (still smiling, good results at school, sens of humor,..) The actual organization in Belgium around my daughter is one week with me and one week with her mother but we live not far from each other and my daughter still can see her mum and me nearly everyday. I take care a A LOT of my daughter, driving her everyday at school, enjoying free time with her, driving to dance classes, family meal, etc … Well I need her and she needs me.

My question is how to keep the balance of my daughter and give the chance to my lover and me to construct a new loving and happy life...

I obviously already thought about it but without finding the optimal…:
Non optimal solutions:
My daughter come with me abroad all time. But she will miss her mom and this is the worst thing I could do for her balance, and my ex will never accept and it would be obviously normal...
I cannot imagine going permanently without my daughter in Dominicana Rep , I would miss her so much and be deeply sad and my daughter would have a feeling of abandon, I would never do it… I need to be a responsible and loving father
Crazy idea but I could ask my ex wife to come also live in Dominicana Rep so that my daughter has her two parents in Dominicana Rep, but it would be crazy and not respectful at all regarding the one I love…
I go only 4 or 5 times a year to Dominicana Rep to see my lover… I would be sad and frustrated, she would be sad and frustrated… and no concrete projects would be possible like this…
My lover comes living in Belgium… but it would may be generate frustration, sadness complete changing for her while she also already has her life and business in Dominicana Rep… but we did not talk about it yet

I need your advices… may be in timing of presence or possibilities to go crescendo in this new life…  may be in the way to communicate this changing situation to my daughter… I don’t want to « traumatise » her and I want that my lover and me have our chance… I have (or I will) find solutions about all the other things but my daughter is the key point…

Thank for having read this long comment and I truly hope you could help me to find serenity about it…


Hello Denis :cheers:

Kindly note that your thread is now on the anglophone version of the Dominican Republic Forum.

You initially posted in the francophone version of the site.


Thank you very much Kenjee, indeed I am going to translate it now.

Best regards,

New topic