Elderly Care

I am American married to a jordanian and we live on the outskirts of Amman. My father recently passed and My mother has dementia, but not the alzheimers kind; instead FTD.  She still knows who I am where she is who the president is etc. but she has completely erratic behavior that makes zero sense and left unsupervised is a danger to herself. She needs 24 hour supervision. Unfortunately, because some of her erratic behavior has resulted in self harm no long term care facility for memory care will take her.  I also realize that sticking your mom in a place and being 7000 miles away is really not a good thing and my conscience would be riddled with guilt. My husband and I moving back to the USA is not an option unfortunately at this time and even if we could she'd still need 24 hour supervision. I am 100% at a loss right now as of what to do. She is cutrently in a hospital as they will not release her without a care plan. As I was driving tonight I had the crazy idea that maybe I could take her to Jordan. Has anyone brought their parents to live with them?  Are there live in nursing aids that could help supervise her 24/7 and help with ADLs?  What about healthcare/insurance?  Could she get a residency card?  Is this a horrible idea or a good one?

What a terrible situation you're in and I feel you.  The option what I should do is to go back and take care of her. That, if you don't have children who are depending on you, would be my serious option.
It will be a horrible idea to bring her to Jordan,  at least this is what I never would consider due many facts.
Most elderly will take care by their families although from my personal experience not always in a way how I should do it.
I know there are some elderly houses who take those who have no family. But no clue if there are with some specialised departments or staff.

If you really considering to bring her to Jordan, which I completely understand, you have to figure out the following :
Is she able to travel and can she handle the different environment?
Who's going to pay the insurance? Hers or you have to open one? What about her social security?
What are the cost of a living in nurse? They do exist here. What kind of professional care does she need more and is it available here? There are many other things to consider, like where to bring her to her last rest place when the time comes. To bring her back to the states is very expensive and time and effort consuming. Not to mention the paperwork.

Yes, she's get a permanent residence as she's depending on you and it's your mother.

Physically she is 100% healthy. It's just her mind that is gone and she's only in her 60s.   Staying here for me isn't an option. Even then she would need more supervision then I could provide.  Here in the USA; the nursing homes cost an astronomical amount per month and even at that most of them suck and there are many cases of abuse and neglect and I worry that me not being here she'd be just shoved in a room and forgot about.  I can't imagine that she couldn't get better care in jordan for that price while not being alone.   I dont know how private insurance works in jordan or even if shed be eligible. I've heard that the private hospitals here are pretty good.

Omg this is so stressfull!  And definitely one of those things you don't plan for when moving to Jordan!

Hi there .  What happened to your dear Mom? I am in a very similar situation. Could you please give me advice. Thanks

We ended up moving back to the US two years ago.  Mom is doing great, so much better than I had ever imagined when I wrote that last post.  She lives in assisted living but hangs out with us all the time.  She loves living where she is and being around people her own age.  I believe the social factor was so important in her case. My husband adjusted so well and has a great career that he loves.  We bought our first house earlier this year. 

The day-to-day here is a lot more stressful for me than in Jordan, but I actually feel useful again.  I do miss some things and we are going for a visit soon.  Overall moving back here was the right decision I believe. I do feel guilty sometimes for taking my husband out of Jordan and away from his family.