Tips and advice to thrive in China

Adapting to China will depend mostly on you.  If you choose to stay separate and never integrate then you will never fit in.  However, if you can quickly come to terms that you are NOT back home anymore and things are different, you will adapt much better.

Here is the link to an article that I found very useful when I first came to China:

http://academic.brooklyn.cuny.edu/engli … 6/tan.html

The author of the article explains cultural context in a way that suddenly (for me) made sense to many of the issues I was facing when it came to interpersonal relationships within my work place.

The other thing that has helped (me) is knowing Chinese culture and history.  You take for granted that aspect when you are in your home country because it's something you just know, but when you travel it's also a good thing to take time to learn.  It will explain many things, and it will help you not to make huge cultural mistakes that can be seen as thoughtless or rude.

Ask questions, be a learner, be humble, and always remember you are a guest so act like one.  You have no right to expect special treatment (although you will often be treated very special by Chinese people), be thankful.  I have found that "please" and "thank you" expressed in Chinese are still the best two words to learn.

Finally, smile, and laugh.  If you can keep your sense of humor when things are not going as you'd like, it will make things better.  It does no good to lose your temper, in fact it can often make the situation much worse.  Learn that as long as it's not life threatening, nothing is that bad.  So what if they lost your package from home, eventually it will turn up somewhere but getting upset will only delay it more.  Instead be thankful for what wasn't lost and move on. 

After nearly 9 years of living in China it's gotten easier for sure.  Sometimes it even feels like this is "home" however, it didn't happen overnight.  The Chinese didn't change, I did, and that's the key, learning to adapt.

In addition to adapting to a different culture the secret is to have a laid back attitude. There is a general lack of consideration for others in everyday life in China. Accept it, don't fight it. Yes people will try and get into the lift/elevator or on the bus/metro before others get out/off but there is no way you can change it. Make an effort to learn some language. You will be surprised how kind and helpful people can be if they know you are making an effort. Oh and lastly it helps if you have a Chinese wife (or husband?)

Respect  of the culture, and the people is the key to being accepted and integrated into the fabric of China. It is not like where you come from, the food is not western, the time table is not like at home, the people you meet will not let you into their true feelings until you have shown that you should be allowed in. Their culture is 5000 years old with customs and traditions that have grown out of that experience, these are not necessarily the same as what we in the west are used to.
Going there respecting these differences, adapting to their customs and mores will allow you to be accepted as well as respected amongst  the Chinese. When in doubt should the situation arise, ask your host or the person you are dealing with, what is the accepted way in this situation in China. Knowing what is expected will prevent a misunderstanding and possible conflict over the activity and will show your eagerness to accommodate their culture and traditions

It is one thing to go into a shop and deal with the staff as a walk in customer but a far different thing when conducting business that will develop over the future. Both situations have different expectations from the Chinese and both are handled differently. Again the bottom line is respect by both you and the member from the Chinese community. Your mannerisms will determine how you are dealt  with by the Chinese or could give rise to where they will not want to do business with them or if so at a greatly inflated price to you.

@Rich Williams

Welcome to the forum...

Great first post.

Hi,

I adjusted to China through trial and error. It took me several years to "feel at home." It was a highly demanding and rigorous process that has delivered profound results like being able to serve as a conduit between cultures.  The key to successful integration into China is to know Chinese people and to know China. Have deep conversations with people. Study the economic and social history and the geography of the country. Travel.  Be vulnerable. Find out what pressures people face from work, from home and from society and how this affects them (it is far greater than what people in wealthy nations face). Find out the challenges that people face and share in the joy of simple pleasures with Chinese people. I have found that Chinese people can be very sincere,  serious and easy going all at once. I'm sure you will too.

i think you must make yourself accessable and open  to people and their questions.  alot of people, even in big cities, have never met a westerner.  they want to know about you and where you are from.  you will also need to get use to being stared at all the time, having meals interrupted by curious people, and having people wanting you to pose for pictures.  if you have hair on your arms you are guaranteed to have people bump into you to feel your arm hair, they don't have any.

another thing that i think is good is to get lots of people in your neighborhood to know you, especially the police, because you never know when you will need e them.  one last thing shop the local stores and open markets as much as you can.  great prices and you develop relationships with your neighbors.

like everyone said if you can be cool, relaxed, and want to do things you will do great.  if you can't don't come you will not have a good time.  china is a place for adventure and explore.   plus if you can't get along with these incredible people you have a problem.

finally, try the street food some of thethe best food you will ever eat!!!

I recently read an article about a group of Muslims in Canada protesting the use of pork in school menus, the letter they received about their grievance from the Mayor of that particular city, was a  reminder to them, in a nutshell, that they, the Muslim group had emigrated to Canada and had been welcomed by the Canadian People so stop trying to change a culture that had been developing for over 150 years.  Here in China, the culture, history and people have been developing for over 5000 years.  I have lived here on and off for 12 years and although I get upset sometimes at some of the lack of manners, I am an invited guest here and am expected to act like one. 
The previous commenters have highlighted some problems that, yes, I admit, I grumbled many times under my breath, but again, this is not my country so I must swallow it if I wish to stay here.  With this attitude, I have managed to meet many Chinese who are kind, helpful, friendly and funny.  So if you come, come with an open mind and revel in the differences, marvel at the culture and keep your political ideology to yourself.  Coach Mac

#Tip 1 - Learn the language as fast as you could - You suddenly start seeing China through rose tinted glasses once your Mandarin skills are in place, a little round of pitfalls here and there are bound to happen even in your home country !

#Tip 2 - Comparing the weather ,crowd,mannerisms,etc will only lead to misery....In fact comparison of any sort,mostly leads us to misery.AVOID !

#Tip3 - Racism hasn't spared China ...

#Tip4- Please accept the fact that not at all overly curious people are ill meaning.

Pooja

Pooja&Srini wrote:

#Tip4- Please accept the fact that not at all overly curious people are ill meaning.

Pooja

Yes I agree, it is not unusual for people to ask what we in the west would consider to be rather personal questions. In addition to where are you from, they might ask your age, how much do you earn, do you own an apartment/car, how much did they cost? Is your ring made of real gold? How much did it cost? And my wife has been asked on more than one occasion a VERY personal question about her laowai husband 

Just smile or learn to say I don't understand 

Dear Zhangfu:

Thanks for the best laugh this morning...Laowai husband...oh my!!!!  I so do love living here in China...  LOL

i have to agree with the above.  mostly i smile try to answer questions and engage in conversation if possible.  i do have to say that maybe because i am a man and older i really don't get asked a lot of materialistic questions.  it seems that people around me like to talk mostly about america, politics, basketball and american culture.  all of these are ok but i just try to be very careful to not hurt any ones feelings when discussing politics.  i think the scariest thing is that most people in china get their impression of america from the media.  they are amazed when you tell them that most of what they see and hear is not really america.  i do think it is great though that they are so truly curious as i am of them.  it is great to talk about normal things like kids, work, places to eat, just life in general.  when you do this you have succeeded in fitting in, because now you relate, and develop relationships.

Learning the language is key, I have struggled with it, knowing only enough to ask the price on somethings and some rather arbitrary greetings.  My wife is Chinese, and although she has learned English very well from me, I have not benefited within the language from her.  We go out several times per year with her colleagues, and crave to add something to the conversation but unfortunately I remain silent.  There are some questions I find rather offensive, my wife has also been drilled on the foreigner anatomy.  However, the age question is constant and at times, I want to scream "why is it so important to you'.  I am not a young man but am still in great physical condition and many that ask me.....are not...finally, paying for a birthday party or a wedding also cause me concern.  Its not the 3 or 400 that I pay that concerns me, its the recording of how much you have paid so they can give you back the same amount when you have a party.  I find that crass and materialistic.  Please dont jump all over me for my opinions........Laurence