You are correct, the expat experience is colored by our personal issues. Language being a big one but for us it has not been a problem. We live in Balatonfured which I can fully endorse as a great place to live. It has more than adequate shopping and wonderful things to do as it is a destination resort. That said during the tourist season it gets crazy but the rest of the year it is fine. We have the National Cardiology Institute here and the Medical Center 12 km away in Veszprem is excellent. Large shopping can also be done easily in Veszprem. Graz and Vienna are less than 3 hours away so for us it is a great place. We rarely go to Budapest at all except to the airport or when we have tourist visitors. We do not speak Hungarian but I have enough to get by (barely) and speak German which is the second language around lake Balaton. English is becoming more common but away from the tourist areas it is non-existent. So, places like Gyor or Szekeshfeharvar no one will speak anything except Hungarian.
I sail and mountain bike around the lake in the Bakony National forests and on Tihany peninsula and go snowboarding at Epleny which is only 30 km away. The hiking trails around the region are excellent and the area pristine beyond belief. For big mountain stuff the High Alps are 5 hours away. There is a lot of investment by the EU in Balatonfured so it is not only growing but getting better. That was fortuitous and we didn't anticipate that but it was nice to have happen.
The government issues for us are more of a nuisance than anything else. I know of no country with a perfect government and many are far worse than Hungary including the US and UK.
Suffice it to say we do not regret retiring here at all and I am saying that after living here for 6 years.