Child free living in Kenya

I am a 25 year old man inclined towards childfree living. However I can't seem to find others with such a propensity. The culture in Kenya (and Africa in general) is averse to such thinking.Children are highly valued and having them is considered the pinnacle of one's life. All of the people and friends with whom I have cared to share my thinking don't  understand me. They frown upon the idea of child free living by choice. Most think they can change me (considering my age). So far I am yet to meet any young woman (lady?) who doesn't want children.

Are there others who have decided not to or never to have children in their lives? I would really like to meet like minded people. Especially ladies. Am tired of being a lone freak.

Are we not basically biologically programmed to want children?

Your lifestyle choice is probably more commonly found in Europe/US, etc.

Hello Thormas,

Child-free living is your personal choice, just as nobody should judge that; you too should not judge others who do not share the same views. If anything those who choose to build families outnumber those who choose not to considerably.

Also, while it is fine to express your opinion, please keep in mind that Expat-blog is not a dating site. Please remember that our forums are not intended as a means to seek personal relationships.

Expat-blog Experts Team

Hi James,
Thanks for your warm response. I do understand that it's not a dating site. The aim of my post was just  to express my search for a community that shares similar values locally so as not to feel as an oddity. My wish was to get some direction from members in my search. I am now aware that it can be misconstrued as a search for a partner. Thanks for that. A suggestion on how I can rephrase it to bear a clear meaning,is also welcome.

Yes we were born to procreate :o  but as humans, aren't we constantly trying to defy nature?

Are you suggesting that I relocate to Europe or the US?

I am not suggesting where you should live, as that is also your personal choice.  I am from the UK and have met a considerable number of couples who have consciously decided not to have children. 

As for trying to defy nature........nature always wins out in my opinion.

I came here looking for like minded individuals or any assistance in locating such a group. If you are not offering any suggestions then I fail to see your point in commenting. As I had inferred earlier, what you are writing is what I hear everyday of my life: our purpose on earth is to procreate, it was meant to be that way, you are selfish if you don't blah blah.......but I have had enough of such negativity towards my stance. I don't need help in understanding my personal choice or why people should have children. Thank you.

You have completely misunderstood my stance on this, Thomas and in doing so become rather insulting, which is not really appropriate.

Perhaps your manner is one of the reasons that you are alone.

I am not going to engage in this any further.

Hi Thormas,

Make your search for like minded individuals "gender neutral", simply by omitting your age and stating anything about women altogether. That kind of information is not really relevant if you're looking for friends of any age and gender, and is what really leads to misinterpretation. That way your search for friendships would be all inclusive. Simple, isn't it?

James     Expat-blog Experts Team

If you find many please let me now.

Dear Thormas,

Nothing wrong with you. I made the decision while still at school that I did not to bring a child into this chaotic world. Apart from the joy for the grandparents, there are thing to consider like where will that child find a job, housing, etc. Look at the cost of living today... So at the age of 55, I still do not regret NOT having a child. But then I am a European. Do what is right for you. Don't let the opions of others influence you. It is only their opinion.
Take care and have fun while you are here in Kenya. I know I am.
By the way - we are here on earth ...... to learn.

well its difficult to be childfree in kenya because of the societal pressure but has benefits mostly financial and as for women its very difficult to get a woman who doesnt want kids,what i do is date them then after lots of sex I tell em i dont want kids,most will break up.and one tip is dont tell people you dont want kids unless you want an argument.

LOL....This is a funny post. It just went south but I totally understand you. I am a Kenyan lady and I have made it a choice not to have children. Most people think I am weird but then again, that's me. The pressure to have kids is intense but the fact that I think about it so hard when someone asks is enough to let me know that I do not want to bring a kid into this world. I often ask people exactly what having kids is all about and the most I get is love, nurturing etc. Unfortunately, I think am selfish. I can stand kids for just a short while and thereafter, I take them back to their moms. So what happens when i have mine and I get tired I want to take it back and i have nowhere to take it back...

and you don't get emotionally attached to any of them?

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