Your experience of culture shock in Costa Rica

During the three years we have lived in Costa Rica we have learned three major adjustments: first, do not expect efficiencies comparable to North America or Europe. This includes internet speeds 1/10 that of North American standards, non-compliance with the nationally adopted IEEE electrical codes, stop signs that are at best mere suggestions, slip-shod manufacturing and failure to adequately complete tasks, the list goes on and on. Reduced expectations and great patience avoid much frustration. Second, the prejudice against "gringos". As an upper middle class, white male, I had not really experienced prejudice before coming here. We have had numerous examples over these three years of surly, beligerant attitudes toward us, when we have gone out of our way to be kind to the native population. Not all, but a lot. Third, lack of respect for the elderly. We are in our late sixties. Even when riding public buses, ticos and ticas will show courtesy toward their own who are elderly or infirm, but seldom to a gringo. I've had to stand on buses, my cane in hand, white hair showing, while much younger ticos and ticas just stare at me, while seated. Gringos seem to not count in this culture. One phrase sums up our Costa Rica experiences: "ready, shoot, aim!"

Oh Boy, are you really asking such a question? Are you expecting an honest and candid response, or are you looking for more of those "feel good" stories about how great this country is? If you are really asking about my experiences here, then read carefully. My experience here for the last 11 years can best be described as my attempt to NOT join this type of culture, but to circumnavigate it! If I were to accept and join in this culture I would have to become a "thief", a "pretend" religious person and become a morally corrupt person. The Tico culture is as bad as the Mexican culture. Thieves, steal anything not guarded. Tico culture: Get away with breaking any law and don't get caught! Tico culture: Go to church, look pious, act holy, observe every religious holiday, BUT, before and after these religious actions; make your vehicle very loud, get drunk and make lots of yelling noises, steal something while picking up your illegal drugs in the park. Tico culture: Make the entry standards for police people very low and take away their pride in the uniform. Don't bother with ironing or keeping it clean, just put it on and stand around town looking important, and do not under any circumstances enforce an obvious infraction of the laws. Also, for a police officer to hide his belt buckle with his overhanging belly, they should at least be told to maintain a weight to where they can chase a suspect more than 4 feet down the sidewalk. I was born into a poor family as most of these Ticos were, however, I was raised with a great deal of character. My upbringing would never allow me to openly cheat on my married spouse because we slept in different beds. I raised my children to have character,and my three daughters did not become pregnant until they were married to a man that had a job and not on the dole. If I saw one of my married friends out in public openly dating someone who is not their spouse, I would not simply smile and think it normal. This so-called culture has no redeeming values that I have found in all my years here. So, you asked, I responded! I dare you to publish this response without adding your editorial comments to soften what you perceive as an honest opinion! Tell me where I'm wrong! What I have observed is the happy smiling faces of the young people in this country, but then something happens to them when they reach adulthood. They no longer look happy and they are impolite! Once they reach about 30 years old, they are again more polite. What kind of culture is this?

I am compelled to ask, why do you still there?  I would imagine Ecuador might even be worst, because they have a much lower standard of living and a lot of poverty. Thus petty crime is every where.  All these places a nice to visit, I just understand why there are do many Expats.  Carry on and appreciate  your honest take on CT.  Roberto

You know, to each their own thought.  We have not had experiences such as Del or Weir, does not mean theirs are not real. You can only live here by what kind of example you set for others including your Tico friends.  If we had experienced the same situations in their posts, chances are we would relocate to another country.  Our experiences have been the polar opposite and hence we remain here. We work very hard every single day to adapt to our new country's culture.  We are fully involved in the local community, give English lessons, receive Spanish lessons, volunteer at the local schools, regularly have the locals to our house for GR8 visits, daily visit with our neighbors, etc.  We have passengers every trip to our "city" 17 km away.  We have taken the bus for the same trip and never any disrespect, in fact the opposite is what we see.    Just another perspective!
Cheers .... Terry

You Roberto, are incoherent. You say that you are "compelled" to ask that question, why don't you ask an intelligent question. If you are asking me or someone else "Why am I still here if I have so many criticisms of this place?". Frankly sir, you are very ignorant about people. When a criticism is made, it is not always because we hate, or don't understand, it is because we care!  Are you able to understand that concept?? We, who continue to live here, in spite of our criticisms, have our personal reasons for being here in the first place. Back in the day I had several so-called bosses that would give out veiled threats, of losing my job, when I criticized the way a project was proceeding. I criticized in a constructive manner and not in a personal manner.  Those old bosses are of the small minded type that do not understand that people care about certain things and want to make them better.  I also noticed, that you Roberto, did not even attempt to change even one of my criticism or anyone else's on this forum. The best you could come up with was your lame question about me, or someone else, still being here. If you really believe that the Tico culture is a great one, then speak up and give us your intellectual best. I'm waiting! You, and the Tica who asked the question, need to understand one of the basics in life: If you ask a question, be prepared for the answer. The Tica, Christine tried to slant her question toward the "humorous side". There are many things humorous about this country, but the culture is not one of them! I must say also, Thank you DrWeir for your honest, thoughtful and well thought out response to Christine's query. Thanks for not making up a funny story so Christine can be happy in her cubicle! : ) And Christine? You there still? Try and understand what an Ex-pat really is! Do you have any idea what it takes to up root one's life and move to a foreign country? Please ask some better questions and you will get a better response! This isn't a high school newspaper, get serious!

Hey Christine,
Culture shock is an understatement. My hubby and I have been living in Costa Rica for four years. We found Ticos to be kind and at the same time don't hesitate to steel from you. So, my advise is be very careful with so called friends in Costa Rica.

We had a misfortune here and a Canadian Real Estate Agent stole our home deposit of $15k so it's not just the Ticos you need to worry about, be careful with foreign residents here to. Unfortunately he knows the law very well and knew it would take out at least 8 years before we could see a penny of our deposit. Courts are very very slow.

Hope these tips help your readers.

Best,
Showleh

Your rant seems to indicate a number of possible disorders. I can see why Ticos would not respect an old fart with your attitude. You know ones attitude will always determine their altitude in all elements of life. "GET ONE"!

You lovely people have the correct attitude. I agree with everything you wrote. This other individual has issues and clay too much time on his hands to be ranting about the negative. Put out love , understanding  and respect for the people , all people and you will most likely get a mirror affect.  Good on you both!

Just because someone speaks English, doesn't mean that they are honest.

While we have not experienced prejudice nor have we been physically assaulted, we have been 'taken advantage of' by both Ticos and other Expats, and robbed.

For those who have not yet experienced living in Costa RICA, I would advise you to wait until you have lived here before you offer your 'expert' advice.

BTW, Ecuador has just been voted the #1 place to live, by ex-pats, and Costa Rica is #12.

I've been here for 4 years and still have not been able to get used to the cheek kiss.  I know it's cliche of me as a U.S. American, but I'm a firm believer in handshaking for introductions, and hugs for relatives.  I get weird looks when I, as a woman, reach out to shake a man or woman's hand instead of leaning in for a kiss (especially weird looks from men), but I believe one has to find a good balance between comfort and respect.

Aside from that, I was sort of shocked to see how commanding many older (and some younger) women are here.  Many, not all can be really bossy and stubborn, without the capability of taking responsibility for their misdeeds (i.e. apologizing).  It's somehow acceptable for older women to be blatantly rude.  One time I was at my local hairdresser, and an older woman came in for a wash and blowout.  The phone rang, the hairdresser answered and it became clear it was her ex husband, and whatever he was saying was distressing her.  The older woman got out of her chair, tore the phone from the hairdresser's hands and began making demands of the man.  When she had finished, she gave the phone back, sat down, and began to pray loudly to Mary.  This is why the term metiche and rockilla jue**** were invented!  Unfortunately these kind of women feel they have the right to walk all over you, even more if you are a foreign woman (if you're a man, they are more likely to treat you with reverence), so tread with caution with middle aged and older women.

Another shock was the machista attitude from many people.  I once heard a female co-worker complain about having to get up at 4am to iron her husband's shirt, prepare him breakfast before he went to work, and cleaning, preparing dinner in the evening, even though she also had a full time job.  I told them my husband and I took turns with cooking, and her jaw literally dropped open in surprise.  I was also shocked at how mothers smother their sons, and do everything for them, even as adults if they still live at home.  Eventually when these men leave home they are helpless, not knowing how to cook even the most basic meal, or how to use a washing machine.  The mothers think they are doing something good for their sons, and they do everything out of love, but they don't realize they are actually crippling their ability to flourish as an independent adult in the future. 

I DO really like that the women, unlike U.S. women are less catty and much more friendly.  In the U.S. I had to deal with overly-competitive, jealous co-workers, even experienced some bullying from an openly jealous female co-worker, whereas here in CR I have never experienced such tensions.  Here they are more likely to compliment you on your positive attributes than pick at them, which I found to be a pleasant shock.

This was a very helpful blog topic.  Thank for introducing it.

I'm bumping this thread to the top to invite CS expats to comment on their experiences living in CS. Please write frankly and in detail. The contrast one finds in online magazines describing "retirement life" in France or Belize, to give two examples and what one reads from individuals reporting in forums is dumbfounding.

Who we are: DH 65 yrs old, me 60 yrs old, DD 14 yrs old, able to live modestly and send DD to private HS.

Thank you!

What do you consider 'living modestly?

Private schools here are not inexpensive nor is decent accommodations, especially at the beach, but compared to NYC it may be cheap.

I have read on a thread on this forum that one can expect all expenses to range between $2 - 3 K / mo. Of course I would do my own in-depth research before I took a look-see in CS.

I would our complete living expenses figure  the annual tuition of the HS we chose; as you point out, they are not inexpensive. But we would certainly be prudent and not live beyond our means, should we relocate to CS.

"Living modestly" is a metaphor for "leaving New York."

While $2-3K is certainly a decent amount, it may not be enough to pay for a private shool, run a vehicle and rent a decent place to stay, especially at the beach, where if you choose to use A/C , electricity can easily run $600-800 a month.

If you own your home it makes a big difference.

Thanks, Kohlerias. We were drawn to look into relocating to CR because we have a friend who owns two homes in the mountains (one for rental). We would rent from him, but more likely near the HS I found that offers HS AP courses, has a talented and gifted program, administers the SAT and gives a US-certified diploma and the IB. It is expensive but (judging from its website) much less than a comparable school in the US, and my daughter would have classmates from around the world. We've also got online tutoring and online editing jobs. Many hours of research, thought and planning ahead. One day at a time.

Before committing to any rental, check out with your boots on the ground, what internet is available as both speed and reliability  varies greatly throughout the country ...even within a neighborhood.

If you've read any of my posts you know that my opinion of cosa rica in general
Is less than stellar. Inefficiencies, waiting in lines, customer service, government involvement..and EVERYTHING  more expensive...and the list would go on, but I'll stop.
However I have never experience any prejudice. One of the FEW things I like here is the people! I have no patients for the crap here and have been very vocal at times and still no disrespect from locals. I live in San Jose. I'm surprised you've had that experience here..?
Rafè

Maybe you have read My posts..maybe not but I'm glad someone other than me is telling it straight and no sugar coating the inefficiencies and ignorance of this culture and not saying "just laugh", "accept it", blah blah blah... Unless Costa Rica always wants to be a 3rd world "evolving" nation......they need to open their eyes and change some s@;t here! PERIOD!! Thanks for being honest! People need to know the REAL Costa Rica BEFORE they move here!
Rafè

As with any move to a different country, there is going to be culture shock.  Your prior experiences with travel and whether or not you have an open mind will affect the severity of the “shock.”

I've traveled to many countries, grew up in the U.S., lived in Russia and now Costa Rica.  I had spent time in many developing countries so I knew what to expect in relocating here.  I did not expect it to be like North America.  If that's what I wanted, I would have stayed there.  As I have written before, there are of course things here that do get to me.  I didn't grow up here and things are not always what we're used to.  The same could be said of people that grow up here and move to the States.

I have friends and have talk to a few Ticos who have lived in the States and by choice returned to Costa Rica.  This is where they grew up and it is what they are used to.  They prefer the easy going lifestyle that exists here.  For them, going to the States was a culture shock.

As with any country, if you choose to move here, it needs to be done with an open mind.  You need to explore the country, research the area(s) that you might want to live in.  And again as I always harp on - rent for at least a year before you even consider purchasing.

There are many negative comments here about the crime, the roads, etc.  As to crime, it's easy to go on line and compare the crime statistics of your city/State compared to CR.  Then break it down to the crime for the given area you might choose to live in here.  You'd be surprised how low the crime rate is here.  Yes, if you look at San Jose, Limon and a few other larger cities, you'll find a high crime rate; however, that is not so of the smaller communities.  Most crimes here are petty crimes and crimes of opportunity.

As to the other negatives, come here with an open mind and make those decisions for yourself.  Different people have different perceptions.  For me, the small initial culture shock wore off within a year.  Things I noticed then I don't now.  Personally, I cannot imagine living in the States again.  I prefer my life here - I accept the negatives and focus on the positives.

- Expat Dave