Effects of a customary marriage with a Jordanian man

Sounds like to me that he staged the whole thing. He wanted his wife to find out so he can get divorced. He just wants a European passport I bet. I would leave this relationship and dramas if I was you. But if you truly love him then move to Jordan and Marry him. But can you see yourself living here.? don't Rush in to things that later you will regret because from experience Jordanian men turn different in their own country. 

But also how could you do that to another woman and steal her husband? You just broke up a family! I hope he didn't have kids.

You believe all that?

You are in love but not him.....the whole story sounds so fishy.

Don't make your life complicated...better move on

let me be specific :

1) i don;t steal any husband...u know why?!because he start all of this and still keep sending me...we both start whole this as experience,as something..." all goods keep a little...u know what i mean..." and suddenly now i found myself in a situation i don't know how...he starts talk always for marriage and go with him...and i have a push for this customary marriage which i don't understand why...

pls i will be very appreciated the answers be as can as factual...

thanks!

Why can't you just stay away? Like why do you have to put your self through the dramas? Please don't marry him. Only marry him if you are open to accepting his religion and culture. Are you a Muslim already? Are are you wanting to convert for this guy?

You will have more fun in your own country. Why don't you make him chase you. If he wants you then he can find away to stay in Greece. But do not rush marriage. It would be a mistake. The guy sounds like a fuck wit. Sorry for my language hahahaha

C'mon.....wake up.

Not all but too many guys wanna get out of their own situation no matter what.

I re-call you know each other 4 months and you really think it's about love?

Well, I am from Europe have a different point of view anyway but on the other hand I also can proof (not in this forum) that there is a lot of rubbish around so you better make sure that all is fine.

Don't ever blame the expat-blog once you get busted, perhaps I myself get banned here for a while but it's worse to take the challange.....

Smich...u  think right...i agree and thank u...

well i m not open at all with what i had already read here...i m feminist and i fight for my rights even i m in western...

just i think  i want to find out if there is any secret purpose why he ask me fill the form of costumary marriage without get marriage...maybe i search a reaso to go away... i don;t know...

happy hour...haaha u make me laugh...or something i don't understand!

well i m from Europe too...(Greece) well traveled girl...and i know what they mean also here love...
the point for both at last is that u never know what is love...u just feel it!and when it's to take a decision...whatever anybody tells u u do at the end what u really feel...

i see many lifes go to miserable for love,fear or low confidence...and l try to make the right decision because i still believe in love...

thanks! have a great time..!

I just put my personal opinion, what I can see is that you are "blind", you are in love with someone who does not deserve a lady like you.

Those guys are only thinking about their own benefit. There are hundreds of guys out there looking just for a "victim" to get a better life elsewhere...m

Ask him to join the forum and participate. I am sure people wanna know his point of view...

Bet he will not do.....

The reason to "force" you into this marriage is for his own benefit only: as a Muslim he can marry more women without any hassle (if his wife agree or not, is another story). If he can prove that he did not commit adultery, he doesn't need to pay her anything and he will not be jailed.  And who said that he will divorce his wife. or that we will be faithful to you?

As for you: you said you are a feminist and fight for her own rights. That's fine, but stay away from married men.
You said, no in so many words, that you are not responsible for the chaos you both created. But in fact you did,. You knew from the beginning he is married and still you decided to continue. Do you know how much you hurt that woman?
And now he want to use YOU to solve his problems and to avoid his responsibility.

That, has nothing to do with equal rights...

Primadonna...i already read all your answers at the ....about to marry a Jordanian man...and really thank u u reply to my post,i appreciate your oponion.

this which i ask is "there are any effects if i make this fake customary marriage?!"
there are effects for me after even it is fake?!
i know itsquestion for begginners but...

i know u try to put me in the right road but there is no right or wrong...when you start something from the other side of the world you never imagine something like this...if you knew,many lifes will be different...so excuse me Primadonna but as for me i know better what i was looking for ...and what at the end comes.and believe that the situation it sucks so much that if i wasn't me will be someone else and i didn't say i haven't my percent of responsibility...but not as he has...because i didn't know the true situation,if u ask...
The... "i'm almost divorced..." when it's your first time with one married man and jordanian...and everyday you talk so much,u skype so much...he didn.t give u a reason...to say...oh my god he is never with his wife...and things like this but anyway...just to feel ok with yourself u give a chance and a period to get divorve if really want u...for your love...to say ok i did the right even it hurts or not,i can sleep now...ok.

In general,i think that they take advantage of their laws...i can't find out and i don't even want.
anyway i will leave the things go as to go...

thank u all for your answers...i will update for any!

Love & bliss,
Eva

Primadonna wrote:

The reason to "force" you into this marriage is for his own benefit only: as a Muslim he can marry more women without any hassle (if his wife agree or not, is another story). If he can prove that he did not commit adultery, he doesn't need to pay her anything and he will not be jailed.  And who said that he will divorce his wife. or that we will be faithful to you?

As for you: you said you are a feminist and fight for her own rights. That's fine, but stay away from married men.
You said, no in so many words, that you are not responsible for the chaos you both created. But in fact you did,. You knew from the beginning he is married and still you decided to continue. Do you know how much you hurt that woman?
And now he want to use YOU to solve his problems and to avoid his responsibility.

That, has nothing to do with equal rights...

Excellent response - I completely agree!

Its always wrong to start a relationship with someone who is married, or even almost divorced.
Almost divorced is not divorced, although he said emotionally. Yeah, right. And in the mean time he claims his rights as her legal husband....

Are there any affects for you? Yes!
You will be married with a man he used you as his way out of problems. Does he loves you? I don't know, that's is a question you can answer and he knows. What for life do you get? I don't know that either but it will be less much fun then you have now.

He is not worth it: let him solve his own problems without using you as an excuse. STAY AWAY FROM HIM!!!!

It is obvious to me that he has done this before, because his wife wouldn't have been so diligent in finding out what he was doing. I would never want to be in a relationship with someone who wants to be with someone else. So, I hope his wife wakes up and helps him with his decision 

To be involved with a married man always will brings consequences .To start a new relationship is better to be free first.I think he has feeling for u ,and there is  difference in ages I think u r younger than him and u have the spirit to make him feel younger in other hand u are a free woman who enjoys venture and to be tide to a Jordania man u have to adapt to his culture. And remember the wife is the wife and if he is not divorce she will always come first. But remember always he met u outside Jordan. Do u know why? If he really loves u he will married u. Muslim men can have 4 wives. My advice  he has feeling for u  he likes u and want to have a companion while he is away from home. And if u like to travel and go into adventures just take it like an opportunity.  And belive me he will not married u.

mieerna wrote:

To be involved with a married man always will brings consequences .To start a new relationship is better to be free first.I think he has feeling for u ,and there is  difference in ages I think u r younger than him and u have the spirit to make him feel younger in other hand u are a free woman who enjoys venture and to be tide to a Jordania man u have to adapt to his culture. And remember the wife is the wife and if he is not divorce she will always come first. But remember always he met u outside Jordan. Do u know why? If he really loves u he will married u. Muslim men can have 4 wives. My advice  he has feeling for u  he likes u and want to have a companion while he is away from home. And if u like to travel and go into adventures just take it like an opportunity.  And belive me he will not married u.

OP - this poster has given great advice too. Please take it and RUN!

Do not marry him.Hell do the same thing to you that he did to his wife.be careful...and yes jordanian men do change in their country.I am Muslim and I know the culture.I REPEAT DO NOT MARRY HIM.

butterfliesrme, I would love your theory as to why the men change when they move home? I read about it, then witnessed it with my own eyes. Also, do they change back, after they move away again?

We have all made mistakes out of Love/infatuation and Lust but there's is always a second chance for us to get out of the cabin. Gal, this whole thing is a mess.First of all you are caught up in an Adulterous relationship.  I dont think this man is really honest with you. I know when you love and care about someone you keep hoping for a change but what I see here is a state of Quagmire.  Please walk away before you are pushed to the tunnel

it'd be interesting to see a man's point of view on this!

Chances are high this man is using you for his personal experiment 'sowing wild oats'

There's no theory as to why they change.Its all about culture and roots.That's something you can't actually change much in a person.The Arab culture,like many Asian cultures revolve around family,where the mother is the pivotal point.Islaam itself emphasises the role of parents in our lives.The quicker we embrace that fact and educate ourselves and take the islamic perspective on this issue,its much easier to understand and solve any differences.
In essence its not about them changing...its just about them going back to their roots. 

Mariamns wrote:

Chances are high this man is using you for his personal experiment 'sowing wild oats'

Agreed!!!

to be honest the question has been asked a million times before across this platform; and no one really cares or can predict how a complete stranger will react towards another stranger in relationship matters.

the post brings no utility to any expat; except providing the poster with an internet window to discuss her love life in public with the occasional drama worthy of a class C mexican soap opera.

in most cases the poster has already made up their mind in regards to their "relationship" and is only posting to hear what they want to hear ( at the expense of our patience ).

what the poster doesn't realize is that they're asking complete strangers to judge a person they have no clue about; except for the posters subjective description of the man.  and that says a lot about their social life and lack of real friends to ask for advice in such personal matters.   

the last time i remember a woman asking if she should marry a jordanian guy; she verbally assaulted all those that "suggested" her not to, then she went on to marry the guy.  plus she accused all those that suggested her not to marry; of being jealous and frustrated with their own relationship failures.

the way i see it, it's like using this site to ask: "should i eat hummus or falafel for lunch ?"

best of luck.

Good point! Now what SHOULD I have for lunch?

gulfport wrote:

the way i see it, it's like using this site to ask: "should i eat hummus or falafel for lunch ?"

You are absolutely right but you cant ignore the fact that Arab and some other nationalities have a very bad reputation in these kind of matters. Bad apples are everywhere, but they are high ranked in the list of not trustful.
And if a woman have some doubts, because of the bad reputation, she is free to ask. Its up to her if she ignore the replies or not.

Now, back to your statement:  I can't ever recall what the consequences are to choose between falafel or hummus for lunch. Maybe not feeling well after eating a bad portion but that is nothing compared when you are involved in a bad/fake relationship.

Primadonna wrote:

gulfport wrote:

the way i see it, it's like using this site to ask: "should i eat hummus or falafel for lunch ?"

You are absolutely right but you cant ignore the fact that Arab and some other nationalities have a very bad reputation in these kind of matters. Bad apples are everywhere, but they are high ranked in the list of not trustful.
And if a woman have some doubts, because of the bad reputation, she is free to ask. Its up to her if she ignore the replies or not.

Now, back to your statement:  I can't ever recall what the consequences are to choose between falafel or hummus for lunch. Maybe not feeling well after eating a bad portion but that is nothing compared when you are involved in a bad/fake relationship.

I think one of the problems when discussing on this site is, that people often miss the point, answer far away from logic or reality. Almost everyone answers in a aggressive, attacking manner without even knowing what's true about the story! Since non of you knows the truth, u spoil the image of men without knowing any of them!

This thread gave me the chuckles and a halfway decent way to spend about 5 minutes of a really boring Saturday afternoon... apart from the general wonderment of what I really wanna have for lunch!

Don't think the OP's even following the post considering how off the original question the thread's veered to. All the woman's asking for is legal views on her rights if she goes ahead with the paperwork as asked by the guy. I don't see any answers pertaining to that particular question. What I see instead is questions on how it isn't love. how she's in the wrong for falling in love with a married man and pseudo feminist rant on how men are sleazy and prone to "sow their oats" and all they want is an entry to Europe. Jordanian men especially. Muslim men especially.   

Now considering most of the folks commenting here are expats, what is the message we really are sharing? Stereotyping much? what are you gonna do when you see me walking down the street tomorrow? cross over to the other side and call me a rapist because I am from India?

* Lemme go grab some popcorn! or am I simply gonna be banned for inflammatory comments

I just re-read the entire post, out of my own boredom. Opinions were asked for, and given. So, not really off topic. Obviously, a reader or two was offended by some of the responses? This is why we have the option of selecting which topics we choose to read, and / or participate.

Choose the hummus.

Pizza hut has chosen me today! Adios!

Even in courts of Justice, a case presented calls for in-depth inquiries. Where it all started. We are trying to brainstorm in order to come to the verdict whether the papers should be signed.
Hahahaha.  I put it to you that guy staged everything,  the phone calls and all. And am not typing from the feminist keyboard rather a realist.

That man mastered her weakness and has her by the tip of his index finger.
Anyway, back to my tea before it cools off

Raj Dhangay wrote:

This thread gave me the chuckles and a halfway decent way to spend about 5 minutes of a really boring Saturday afternoon... apart from the general wonderment of what I really wanna have for lunch!

Don't think the OP's even following the post considering how off the original question the thread's veered to. All the woman's asking for is legal views on her rights if she goes ahead with the paperwork as asked by the guy. I don't see any answers pertaining to that particular question. What I see instead is questions on how it isn't love. how she's in the wrong for falling in love with a married man and pseudo feminist rant on how men are sleazy and prone to "sow their oats.
" He ploughing into another garden unlawfully,"

" and all they want is an entry to Europe. Jordanian men especially. Muslim men especially.   

Now considering most of the folks commenting here are expats, what is the message we really are sharing? Stereotyping much? what are you gonna do when you see me walking down the street tomorrow? cross over to the other side and call me a rapist because I am from India?

* Lemme go grab some popcorn! or am I simply gonna be banned for inflammatory comments

Btw.I love the Jordan forumn, freestyle posts here

Mariamns wrote:

Even in courts of Justice, a case presented calls for in-depth inquiries. Where it all started. We are trying to brainstorm in order to come to the verdict whether the papers should be signed.
Hahahaha.  I put it to you that guy staged everything,  the phone calls and all.
- Objection your honor, misleading allegation
That man mastered her weakness and has her by the tip of his index finger.
- Objection your honor, misleading allegation..
Judge : defender, stick to the facts..
Anyway, back to my tea before it cools off

On an aside...
If someone's ploughing into my garden, I'll say thank..oh wait! its a metaphor!
thing with metaphors is they don't always fit the description don't you think?

Now if it was something like " reaping someone else's harvest" or I dunno "dipping his straw into someone else's bottle of seven up...." :p

"and all they want is an entry to Europe. Jordanian men especially. Muslim men especially.  "
Kindly note that this is an expat forum.
There are Muslims and non Muslims here.Where do you get this generalisation from.
There are more than a couple of million Indians working ,living and trading in the middle east and have had the opportunity to be employed and lead better lives then in India itself.When they leave India they ensure that they have half their lineage follow them sooner or later.
What do you call that then or them opportunists???.
There are Indians that have married american women,well maybe not for a green card but probably for other reasons like a fairer skin person being more respected in certain casts,or for status and so called prestigious reasons which plagues the Indian society.
This is a fact.
Kindly be cautious as to what you write and the generalisations you make.If you dish out be prepared to swallow it too!stick to the topic and stop making narrow minded assumptions.

I have been working within international fields for quite some time, and have been talking among others to American who married in Europe, the reason why they were able to get a work permit. They told me about less comfortable living and working conditions than in Europe. I have been working around Europe and always met people from abroad, either men or women. I have left some countries due to racism, and met abroad  people of same countries with same rasistic attitute. It appears to me that everyone going abroad has a more important reason than love, otherwise once they sattle down would enjoy more and better understanding. The point is, no need to point with fingers at others, trying to degrading them or putting them in a certain pot, just becos we must admit to ourselves that we are not different after all, even though we sometimes love to think so. American, indian, and else, we all have the same rights, and the same reasons to love, to work, and to live! Your are drifting off Topic!

Oh Butterflies... you've completely got my point wrong!  I'm not the one generalizing! I'm pointing out the generalizations so we don't do it anymore! Here, I've taken the liberty to scroll through the posts and picking up all the generalizations.

Oh and about all those Indian things you've said.... Exactly!
Well not really... I've been subject to racism all my life. I am aware how it is perpetuated so subconsciously that people don't even realize they are doing it. Hell I do it myself at times. When I point it out however, most see that they've been doing so unintentionally and make a conscious effort to stop. Most of the posts here are well intentioned, but the underlying seterotypes are evident if we look for them. Maybe we should take a while to ponder if we are spreading mistrust and hatred instead of what we actually intend to share. 

"He just wants a European passport I bet"
"from experience Jordanian men turn different in their own country"
"Are you a Muslim already?"
"as a Muslim he can marry more women without any hassle (if his wife agree or not, is another story)"
"u are a free woman who enjoys venture and to be tide to a Jordania man u have to adapt to his culture. And remember the wife is the wife and if he is not divorce she will always come first. But remember always he met u outside Jordan. Do u know why? If he really loves u he will married u. Muslim men can have 4 wives"
"and yes jordanian men do change in their country.I am Muslim and I know the culture"