What made you smile today?

Nice question First, it's the last working day of the week after Eid. Second, I am in Jeddah right now which is a dream come true! Saudi Arabia is not my dream country destination but the oversees work experience in a foreign country is a reward in itself. I am only 23 years old, an ambitious young Filipino engineer, with only 2 years of professional work experience in the Philippines... and yes, I repeat I am ambitious and I will do every inch of my best to get to the top. Jeddah is my first step.

This thread.

my face on the mirror!

cccmedia:  Fred, what's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

Indonesia Fred:  I don't know and I don't care!

Smile,  you say?

The time we were running away from an angry and ferocious bear!

cccmedia:  Fred, we're never gonna outrun this bear....

Indonesia Fred:  I'm not trying to outrun the bear.

    I just have to outrun you !

Fred gave me some advice about marriage...

"A man must take a wife, because you can't blame everything on the government."

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

I'm going wilde at this thread.

More seriously, and not mentioning the 'murder with a blunt instrument. leaving the battered victim in a pool of blood' holiday tickets I'm booking with Ecuador travel, I have a joke.

What is the shortest sentence in the English language? I am

and the longest?  ...............................  I do.

Trying to think of the things that made me smile

hahaha hilarious!!!

As for what made me smile, I'm going for:
the happy laugh my son woke up with a couple of minutes ago
Seeing my beautiful wife's face as I woke up
and the thought of doing Murder most foul - It was going to be murder most fowl, but I can't find any vicious chickens.
Oh, one more - the TV I use as a computer monitor for my fabulous stick computer is fizzing, flashing and generally looking like it's going to go seriously bang. That would for most be a reason to scowl or cry, but I love buying new electronics, so I'm smiling at the thought of a 24 inch computer monitor.

Fred wrote:

More seriously, and not mentioning the...holiday tickets I'm booking with Ecuador travel, I have a joke.

Quito Expats will welcome Fred and his entourage to Ecuador and invite the group to have dinner with us at Hotel Patio Andaluz as our guests.

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Cliff and Harry were old friends and big baseball fans in the Windy City.  They made a promise that when one of them died, he'd come back and tell the other if there was baseball in Heaven.

One night Cliff passed away a happy man just hours after seeing his beloved Chicago White Sox win a game.

A few weeks later, he came back and surprised Harry.

"Cliff, is that you?" said Harry.

"It sure is, and I've got good news and bad news.  The good news is there sure is baseball in Heaven."

"Great," said Harry.  "What's the bad news?"

"You're pitching tomorrow night !"



                                                    .

Hotel Patio Andaluz
Just had a look, and it seems really nice.
Tell me, is the fountain deep enough for someone to accidentally drown in, and are the steak knives very sharp?
I digress - A smile wandered onto my face with my daughters many excuses why she couldn't go back to school tomorrow. She even walked with a limp for a while, trying to convince us she'd broken her leg.

I'll have the hotel conserje schedule extra security guards for that night.

cccmedia in Quito Ecuador

Fred's favorite joke begins, "A dyslexic man walks into a bra..."

cccmedia wrote:

Fred's favorite joke begins, "A dyslexic man walks into a bra..."

It is not - it's the one about the agnostic dyslexic dude who didn't know if he really believed in Dog.

A new song track from Justin Bieber ofcourse woudnt draw a smile!!

Fred wrote:

cccmedia wrote:

Fred's favorite joke begins, "A dyslexic man walks into a bra..."

It is not - it's the one about the agnostic dyslexic dude who didn't know if he really believed in Dog.

Quite right, old sport.  At least I recalled it had something to do with dyslexia.

Anyway, as a young man Fred got his first job fresh out of school at a mid-sized grocery store.

Fred's new manager gave him a warm welcome, handed him a broom and told him his first task was to sweep out the whole store.

"But I'm a university graduate," Fred protested.

"Oh, I didn't know that," said the manager.  "But don't let it worry you, lad.  In that case, I'll show you how."

How did you know?

Fred wasn't always this debonair, international man about town.

Back in those early days, one time he was having no luck trying to get a date over the phone.

The young woman said, "I have to go, there's a telemarketer on the other line."

It gets worse.

When I worked as a telemarketer, I used to get hung up on by women claiming there was a heavy breathing  sex pest on the other line.

I just couldn't win.

Sadly to say , the only thing that made me smile to day was watching my dog play in a stream to cool off ,,, sighsssss

Fred finally got a girlfriend that year.  She was a rich girl, but none too bright.

One time, Fred rang her up on her car phone while she was driving on the A13 in her Jaguar.

"Treacle, honey," said Fred, "I just heard on the news that there's a car driving the wrong way on the A13.  So be careful."

"It's not just one car," she answered, "there's hundreds of them."

We're hoping Fred gets a    out of our new feature, Today's Riddle....

How come the cows at Brown's Dairy Farm didn't have money to play at the casino?

Because Farmer Brown had milked them dry !

Fred had his own problems on the road, and he usually tried to talk his way out of them.

One time a traffic cop pulled him over and said, "I'll have to report you, young man.  You were going 85 miles an hour."

"That's ridiculous," said Fred.  "I've only been in the car for ten minutes!"

Fred didn't talk to his first wife for 18 months.  He didn't like to interrupt her.

How do you know her?

"This is Officer Bolton.  Send backup ASAP.  A woman has shot her husband after he walked on the floor she had just mopped clean."

Dispatcher:  "Did you attempt to arrest the woman?"

"No sir, the floor is still wet."

This morning my kids make me smile so huge smile ever when they woke me up by bunch of kisses and hugs
I'm so happy for this life this family this kids and for sure for my most handsome adorable kind husband ever

Fred moved to Indonesia after realizing how expensive things had gotten in the U.K.

One time, for instance, he asked a lawyer, "How much would you charge me for answering three simple questions?"

"A thousand pounds," said the lawyer.

"A thousand pounds!" Fred exclaimed.  "Don't you think that's extremely expensive?"

"It certainly is," said the lawyer.  "Now what's your third question?"

Did you hear about the honest lawyer?
No, neither has anyone else.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

The pro stops screwing you when you die.

The bus driver says to a passenger holding an infant, "Lady, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

The woman goes to the back of the bus, fuming, and announces, "The bus driver just insulted me."

"Well, you just go back over there and tell him off," says the man nearest to her.  "You just go ahead.  I'll hold your monkey."

Wife:  "Fred, darling, I just can't think of what to get you for your next birthday/anniversary."

Fred:  "That's OK, sweetie, I don't really need anything.  But if you insist, you could go to the specialty T-shirt shop down at the Jakarta Mall.  You could order one in my size that says You Just Go Ahead.  I'll Hold Your Monkey."

                                                                              .

I'm wondering if cutting a heart out and eating it raw in front of the dying victim would make be smile.
Still, less of my hobbies, I'll pop out and see what my psychiatrist thinks about it

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

"I've got a new nickname for you," Mr Media told his wife.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Bambi," he replied.

"Aww, is that 'cos I've got beautiful eyes?" she asked.

"No, it's because I've just killed your mum,".

I wasn't sure if I should post this as it seems some people actually took it seriously, thinking this dude was actually complaining, but he really tickled me, so I went for it.
This is the first time I've seen his stuff, and he touches on some controversial subjects in some of his videos, but remains funny as he does it.
Never met the bloke, but I think we'd be mates.

Guys, before you get angry, remember he's taking the piss.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd4ygI0GHV8

slanka wrote:

my face on the mirror!

This made me burst out in laughter

DJ Spinz wrote:

What made you smile today? Post or reply below to start this thread.

SMILE !