You are absolutely right in many respects. In others you often only know what they tell you as we cannot check up on them
Case in point- had an employee who needed help to finish her university program - do her thesis and graduate. She claimed it was xxx amount of money. CLaimed that the university cancelled the semester she had paid for etc etc. Being a non trusting sort, I sent someone to the university to check.
Employee lied about the whole thing. I was handed a list of what the employee owed to university along with confirmation nothing had been cancelled - employee simply needed to pay what was owed..... needless to say this person go NO help from us.
I was totally amazed that they would tell someone else what was owing by this employee - in fact wrote it all out for us so we had it straight! Violation of privacy - no problem here......
So my point, can't believe everything you are told either.......
To the other point - it is very different in their shoes! We cannot begin to understand the systemic crap they have to deal with just to survive. I've seen so much of it first hand that I am beginning to understand.