Average wage in Luxor

Ho,  I am living in Luxor and England.  Happily married to an egypt Ian man.  The average wage is 1000 egp per month. Rent 500 egp.  Be careful hun, 4000 egp a month is equivalent to 4 sterling a month x

4 k sterling!

Could this be a case of "Egyptian love"? I am about to move to Egypt myself from Canada and am getting acquainted with the many stories of foreign women who were left sad and broke. Protect your heart and your pocket I would say. I will do the same.

Thank you so much for your help. I think I guessed right - that's the equivalent of £25 a week isn't it? Is the average rent 500EP per month or per week? I think my friend - who is actually my orfi 'husband' - is asking too much of me. I have already been giving him £1,000 (£ not EP!) every month since Christmas to go to Cairo International Hospital for tests/treatment for a blood disorder, but I havn't been able to figure out why it costs so much. Ok, I know he has to fly return to from Luxor and stay in a hotel for a few days while he waits for the blood work results (he says he takes his brother with him) but I have no idea what the hospital charges for blood tests as I couldn't get to speak on the phone with anyone from the hospital who could tell me :-(    I have agreed to go to Luxor to live with him but having to spend so much money so far (I didn't feel that, morally, I could leave him in the lurch with such an illness when he couldn't pay himself)  and now being asked for 4000EP a month to top up his wages I am changing my mind about going. He says he loves me very much but I am really starting to feel that I am been used as a 'cash cow'. PS he is much younger than me, and says that he cannot marry me legally because he did not finish his military service and will be arrested/fined/imprisoned so I am supposed to remain an orfi (common law) wife).  I don't know how to get out of this relationship I have got myself into: you have probably guessed that I find it hard to say no :-(
Best regards and thank you again
If anyone else out there can give me some information / advice I would be really grateful.
Elaine

Hello Rhona    Yes, I think you are right and this is probably a case of "Egyptian love" ie the man gives the 'love' and the woman gives the money because she believes he loves her. Once you are sucked in, it is difficult to think rationally rather than emotionally (for someone like me anyway, who my friends call a 'lost puppy collector'. You will see more about my circumstances in my reply to another kind person who has messaged me. After a year of meeting this man I am broke, disillusioned and drained, and about to tell him that I will stay in England after all.
Thank you for your advice: please look after yourself. Your plan sounds wonderful - as long as you wear earplugs when you receive flattery from every good looking man in sight !
Best and thanks again
Elaine

ElaineCrawley wrote:

... He says he loves me very much but I am really starting to feel that I am been used as a 'cash cow'. PS he is much younger than me, and says that he cannot marry me legally because he did not finish his military service and will be arrested/fined/imprisoned so I am supposed to remain an orfi (common law) wife).  ...
.....

I'd strongly urge you to take a step back - and look at this from a distance ... the answers are right there (glaring at you in the face) in the information you have shared. And also, when you realize, this is a land where (mostly) all relationships are 'transactions' .. everything's up for negotiation .. including matters of the heart!

ElaineCrawley wrote:

I don't know how to get out of this relationship ..

While there may be subject specialists who will throw more light on this - I'd say, just tearing up the legalized-sex-without-the-responsibility contract ie. an Orfi marriage may annul 'the deal'. And likely, it is legally-worthless paper if there are no witnesses signatures - or registered with the court. (I hope Orfi specialists will shed more light on this)

Further, if you feel the need to rationalize your decision-process with facts and data -- have you seen the blood disorder lab test reports? (A con artist may fake them too)

Hello.   Yes, I did see the paperwork for the first 2 blood tests and bone marrow biopsy. They did look genuine but I was surprised that everything was written in English. This meant that I had to read everything the papers said out to my 'husband' and his family. Is it usual that Cairo hospitals provide Egyptian patients with test results and other medical paperwork in English ? I don't suppose that every patient has access to an English speaker.
Elaine

Repeated message re. orfi marriage :-(  Please see original message below

ORFI MARRIAGE - how binding is it for the woman?

Unfortunately, he has both copies of the orfi marriage licence - his and mine. I don't know how important it is that he has mine, but clearly if he has it I can't tear it up and would have go back to Luxor to get it :-(  What are the implications of not being able to tear it up? When we went for the orfi marriage we had 2 witnesses and went to a lawyers office in Luxor to do it.

Thanks Elaine for the advice for the ear plugs. I'm approaching 50 and have become invisible to many/most men in Quebec so I understand the many stories of women 50 and 60 falling for the flattery of a younger Egyptian man - and apparently they have a tender nature. But I have strong Biblical principles now and my boundaries are better and I intend to get with the people following the same principles that I know of in Egypt and am starting to make contact with.

I'm glad you still live in England, and have your job. Many foreign women were living with the man in Egypt and were left when the money ran out. You have geography in your favor to help get through this faster. Although I'm sad if the man is really sick. This makes it difficult morally and emotionally. I think there should be a blog like this just for foreign women in this situation. There are many who are happily married but many who were used.

I wish you healing from this experience. Maybe through this blog you can talk to other women who are going through this. I'm starting to think that there should even be a service to council women in this situation.

SUPPORT FOR ENGLISH WOMEN 'USED' BY EGYPTIAN MEN

Thank you for your support and kind words Rhona. I agree that we women do need a resource to go for advice BEFORE we give our hearts (and money) to Egyptian men and end up with a broken heart and an empty bank account.

You're welcome. Are you close to the Creator? He is the best for wisdom and healing. He gave us rules to follow so we be happy, have strong family relationships, principles and morals but sadly we didn't want them. One of them is not to lie or deceive which seems to happen a lot in Egypt and also to be loyal to one's mate forever (and only have one). Having come from a broken family and seeing so many, now I want the Creator's rules and protection. He is the one with all the answers protection and power so we be happy. He loves it when we bring our burdens and pain to Him and let Him work it out but then He wants us to follow His rules. He is the best Father which we all need.

the Most High bless you and keep you,
Rhona

Close to God....

Yes, Rhona, I am close to God. I try to follow Christian principles; although I rarely go to Church. I just try to be a good, kind person. Through most of my life this has meant that I have believed that it is better to give than to receive, and to help anyone who asks for help, even it is means that I go without. But this is perhaps the quality can makes me vulnerable to men seeking money and an easier life?
People tell me to harden up and pass by on the other side when I am asked for help. But I fear I cannot; what if I deny the needs of a person who is telling me the truth?

Hello Rhona

Someone just messaged me to say that I shouldn't give my real name on the site.  How can I edit it?

I don't know, it seems it cannot be changed in the profile area. Maybe you have to open a new account with another name. I use my real name almost everywhere all over the Internet. Maybe there would be more risk if you lived in Egypt. I don't feel the need to use another name. Maybe you could check with Woodard about it.

Thanks Rhona.  I'll do that .

He is asking you to send him the equivalent of a doctors salary, even in Cairo 4000le is a good living wage for many an Egyptian man. He can go to any old hospital tbh and buy a piece of paper talking about bloodtests etc and even if he is telling the truth, 4000le here for medical bills is far too much.  My guess is he is using your vulnerability and kindness and is living like a king in Luxor.  Orfi is just a sex paper and holds no legal value globally or within religion.  To be honest, and I'm sorry, I live in Cairo and i only associate orfi marriages with prostitues.  Run away before you end p on the front page of the sun newspaper as yet another English woman being conned out of her life savings.  Sorry for the bluntness... it is what it is.

Don't marry or anything else him, you are being taken for a ride. This has happened many times over the years and the outcome is sadness. Stand up and be counted, a big NO!

Hi ....in short you are being taken advantage of in a big way .... A hotel waiter would have 500 EG per month ... you would need to be working in a bank in junior managerial role to get 4000 EG.

Blood disorder is the usual vague reason when looking for money

Local drugs a very low cost and 4000 is very excessive

Bu up to you to decide what to do

Ray

I have no idea of the average salary as a female Brit who has worked and is now retired here DO NOT send any money. there are so many many stories such as this. Why is he workingin a shop? It may be that he's not well educated any middle class Egyptian family would have their children educated to university level. This is important in this society and very different from the UK. It is more than likely he's looking to perhaps marry. wanting a western wife or just a meal ticket and you may not be the only donor. 4000LE is quite a hefty sum to ask for. By the way quite a lot of drugs are cheap.
Best of luck as you have queried this your instinct is obviously saying no.
Anne L