They can dis obey their parents? they can No for fixed Marriage?

Yes.because its your life,and you have to live it.

But not all of them right?

I mean they can say no!

I have bf now its Egyptian I think he will get married this year but he don't want to go home coz he will know what will happen now her mom is sick and need an operation even if he don't want to go he don't have any choice...he Love me and I do believe that!

Hello Lillean,

You know, for most of us the whole idea of "arranged marriages" is something that is so alien and so strange that is seems to come from a completely different world. This is, after all, 2014 not 1514. Nowadays people certainly have the ability to make their own decisions no matter the ethnicity or religion. Not that I'm saying it's wrong, just that it is a matter of personal choice.

Cheers,
William James Woodward, EB Experts Team

We talk about this all of his family is forcing him to go but he doesn't want..if he really love me he will fight for me...but I don't understand  why like this life is so unfair we both love each other....

And the funny thing is I ask him why he can't marry me he said...I'm not a Muslim I'm not his same nationality and they don't know me...that's ridiculous!

Well there you aren't really talking about "arranged marriages" as such, but rather centuries of culture, tradition and religious beliefs. Those aren't things that are easy for anyone to simply ignore, wouldn't you agree?

The fact that you're not Egyptian and that his parents don't know you are not problems that can't be overcome in some way. But, the fact that you aren't Muslim certainly would be an insurmountable obstacle if you weren't willing to convert. That's just something you need to understand. Obviously he's not going to do something that is completely against his religious beliefs, would you?

Cheers,
William James Woodward, EB Experts Team

I can tell you a few things:

nobody cant force some one into a marriage which he don't want to, even his parents/family.

If you are a Christian he can marry you but you need to understand that when you get children they will become automatically Muslims.
You don't need to convert to the Islam, only if you wanted it too. Nobody can force you to do so.

I can understand his fear towards his family, If he really loves you and he wants to marry you, he can tell his family that he find a girl which he wants to get marry. And he can ask if they want to  give their permission to meet you.

I don't know what to do anytime he can go! He ask me what we should do? The word that come to my mouth is follow your heart..if u really love me fight for us I'm always on your side..

If it makes to feel  more secure or better he can talk to an Imam he trusts and ask for some advice.
But be sure to find a trustworthy one!

I will tell him..thank you

Hi,
Islam allow him to have 4 wives....

In their village he need to choose he has no option

mohdq2002 wrote:

Hi,
Islam allow him to have 4 wives....

When you say this, you have to explain well in what circumstances he is allowed to have four women.
Maybe you can tell us?

Just my experience. i have met a lot of Arab males living in the west. Some are illegals, some came over to study and are still studying or are over here to work but have left their wives and children back home. I can say with some conviction that not one of them is mentally prepared for the loneliness/isolation/boredom of our lives in the west compared to the fun full on social lives, full of family and friends, that they left behind.

They are normal males, so attracted to women, and suddenly find themselves in a place where women are available both as friends and "friends with benefits" in a way that is impossible back home. Our nightclubs over here are full of such guys, not necessarily on the make, but open to friendships with women if the women are interested in them.Plus there are a steady stream of female muslim converts coming on tap at any one time, all eager to find a suitable muslim partner. 

Most, just in my experience, end up hooked up with someone while they are overseas. Do those relationships last, as in do they marry them and take them back home? Sometimes they do marry in a mosque and persuade the girl to convert even, just so they can live within the tenets of the muslim faith. But they also divorce just as easily, especially if they come from well off families who don't fancy a foreigner in the family, or are already married with children back home.

I've known western women, all muslims, who've even been the main breadwinner and supported their husbands and had children with them, even sent money back home to his family, who never meet his family, even over intervals of 20 years, even when the guy goes back quite often, sometime with a ticket financed by her.

All I can say is love is blind. But just keep in mind, 10 years can turn into 20 years, even 30 years, and he could just be gone, saying it was all a big mistake. That happened to our neighbour. She was married to a guy from Lebanon, - they lived in Greece which is more similar culturally to the Middle East than Scotland, where she comes from. Nearly 30 years of sacrifices, only to be told he wants to grow old in Lebanon, and he's sorry but he has a wife and children there as well!