Cameroon (Yaounde)

I have found it very hard to make real friends here.  I am usually very open and friendly to others but, in my experience thus far, this seems to be backfiring.  With locals this has meant that I am constantly being asked for favors (usally money, other times suggestions that I take them to Europe or the USA, and most often being proposed marriage).  With expats, especially males, well, there is the thought that I need to "hook up" with someone since there are not many expats around. Thus, the main interest expressed at the end of the day is wanting to get involved.  Even in meeting an expat for an emotional relationship, it seems like all male expats I have met here are either running away from something back home, want to sleep around, or are complete liars about having wives back home (have had a few of these experiences already).  Note that I am expressing this only from the experiences that I have had and am not referring to all expats (I would be crazy to generalize that way, plus it would depress me too much to think that way).  Then there are the expats on the road that dare not even look at you or give a friendly smile.  It feels very lonesome here often times.

Welcome on Expat-blog Jamila9! :) I have moved the topic on the Yaounde forum...

Good luck!

Hello Jamila,

My name is Anne. I'm belgian and I will be moving to Douala in October. I have the same experience as you, when I'm in Cameroon. Luckely, I also have met locals and expats who are just friendly without wanting something from you.
Now, I'm trying to make some more friends, so that besides my family (I'm married to a cameroonian man), I have my own friends to hang out with, without any obligations.
For business, I will have to travel sometimes to Yaoundé, so if you feel like meeting one day, don't hesitate to send me a private message. I will give you my contact details.

Greetings,
Anne

welcome i am soorry for you but we are not all like that ; you need to understand as a white woman people think that they can ask you anything and that you can solve all they problems ;;you must choose your friends and your relatives well, cameroon is a beutiful country and if you have good friends you will enjoy it more ;; good luck

During my university days,the subject of friendship grabed my attention so very much, and I had to make a research on what friendship is all about. I researched on the views of great minds like some loud sounding philosophy names and even the bible , my finds where amazing. From that time forward my approach to making friends changed dramatically. if you like to know more feel free to contact me. By the way I am also living in a different culture, in the united Kingdom(will be visiting Douala for 4months), my cultural shocks have not been one but many and different areas of life, friendship top on the list.

I am looking for some knowledge about Cameroon for my business expects.How is life there,is expensive,for instance if you have regular income such $500, is that sufficient for one person in a month.How are rents,how much pack of sigaret,can I do some volunteer work to help society like teaching english or finance.

For friendships,I don't agree with Jamila9, as a healty gentlemen, of course, I would need compainion and date, what is the point of life if you are living lonesome

I have been living in Canada past 19 years, I had know some old ladies, waiting outside of her apt.for to hug mailperson lady.

Can you imagine no one give you hug in years.

Companionship doesn't mean harrasment or abuse, every one has own freedom.At least has to be that way.

At the other hand, to fall in love is not easy thing, especially for ladies, beside that there is no profligacy for man, everything in the hands of ladies.

My point is you have to love yourself first.

This is the key.:)

Hello Jamila.

I am Krebs. First i apologyze because of my english which is not very good.If you can speek in spanish it will be better.

Sorry for the events that you have lived in Cameroon. People have came to you by asking a service and without thinking that same you need to be served. They have seen you like a bank or like a NGO, always listen to help...hahahahahah. Sorry. Certains wanted to mary you. About I think that the reasons are several. But the only one i am seen me is that you are a nice girl. I don't know whow old are you. But I have seen your photo and I think that you are a beatiful woman. So it's normal, you could be happy. jajajajaja. But the only one person who has to say yes o no it's you. Same the only one persone who has to elect with who to establish a frindship is you. Try to do it, and igualy try to tell to people what you think about a friendship and what are your ideas about. The rules. Anything has it's rules. Is'n it?

Cameoroonian people are very peacefull and good people, and respecfull. Tell tem what you want and you will see. All will run like you want.

You can contact me to speek more about if you want. But in spanihs. jajajajaja. I am in Yaoundé.

Te deseo lo mejor de hoy.   

Krebs.

Hello Trusty:

I am happy to read that your are looking for some knowledges about Cameroon for your business expects.

Cameroon is too cheep, that is what i have firts to say you. With an income of $US500 each month you can live very well. Same cameroonians are very interesants, in only one day it is possible to make all of them your friends. jajajaajajaj. You will be in pleasure to discover this maravellous country of Central Africa.

The day you could come to Cameroon, contact me and you will discover like you want.

Krebs.

Krebs wrote:

Hello Trusty:

I am happy to read that your are looking for some knowledges about Cameroon for your business expects.

Cameroon is too cheep, that is what i have firts to say you. With an income of $US500 each month you can live very well. Same cameroonians are very interesants, in only one day it is possible to make all of them your friends. jajajaajajaj. You will be in pleasure to discover this maravellous country of Central Africa.

The day you could come to Cameroon, contact me and you will discover like you want.

Krebs.


Why don't you write to me to [email protected].
Thanks.

Hello Daniels.

I'm Krebs is with concern that I read your message tonight. I'm glad to know that Cameroon fits you well.

I am in Yaounde, and I'm delighted that we met to discuss the traditional festivals of Cameroon and those you can find with me. Already in the west of Cameroon, between November 28 and December 5 will be the traditional celebration of traditional Bamoun people. A very interesting ceremony

I work in tourism and I will be happy to assist you for the Thanksgiving celebration

My English is not very correct, but I think we will hear us. I can very well speak French and Spanish.

Contact me when possible and we talk.

Thanks.

Krebs.

Jamila9, I grew up in Uganda and I know exactly what you are talking about. When it comes to relationships concerning expats in African countries it is such a different dynamic... A lot of my girl friends get marriage proposals in Uganda as well, from the baker to the taxi driver lol, its harmless though, especially in Uganda because people are very friendly and polite. Ive been to W.Africa and most people are a lot more forward and head strong, I would imagine that makes it a little harder for expat women, not sure. Thing is most people are opportunists, everyone is looking for a way out. It is understandable to some extent given the economic situation for most people, a foreign passport goes a really long way. Love and all the rest is secondary when you're trying to get your life in order. I dont mean to generalize of course, there are a lot of exceptions.

As for expat guys, well most of them are in that 'holiday' mode, women too, just looking for some fun. A lot of them are in Africa on a contract and are looking for that sense of adventure.

Then there's people like me, Im originally Swiss but Ugandan at heart, it will always be home. Were expats to an extent but still 'local' in many ways and I think we have the hardest time finding somebody that we 'click' with because we are so different from everything.

And as for you being friendly and open to others, its a nice quality to have so dont let that fade, just be careful about spotting the 'fakes' amongst the locals and expats. And as Krebs said you need to establish rules for yourself... Hope your time in Cameroon is a little better now.

So why the interest in Germany and have you been anywhere else in Africa?

sas84: I really enjoyed your reply.  You hit the nail on the head, as is said in the USA, meaning, you were right on and I agree with all you said.  Even though I have had a challenge with this situation, Cameroon has really grown in me and I can honestly say I love being here (still want to move to Germany eventually, though).  As for where else I have visited in Africa, not many places: Morocco, Eq.Guinea, Chad, Togo, and Benin.  I look forward to getting to visit more countries here soon.  Why Germany?  My boyfriend lives there and I might go back to school there :)

bdaniels89: I am so sorry I did not get to see your message until right now!! I have not been online for a while (on vacation and then catching up with missed work).  There were, in fact, several Thanksgiving celebrations at different homes I would have loved to share with you.  If you have not already gone there, I suggest you go to a restaurant called "La Paillote" where a Vietnamese/American runs the place by the name of Phi.  He is amazing and knows pretty much all the young expats here.  He is load of fun, too.  If taking a taxi simply ask for Mahima in Eton Meki.  His restaurant is pretty much next to it (and a lovely Indian food restaurant behind the Mahima, by the way).  Let me know if you need more details and continue to enjoy your time here!!

i understand what you live ,there is nothing more h urting that false friends people who just want to use you ,you to exploit you ;.but you expatriate you must know that each time you complaint about the inhabitants of a country this way ,you reinforce the xenophobia .don t misunderstand me  me too i hate that to be honest i think that they are many people who are still behaving this way even with camerounian ,or with black people we need to say the things as they are .. you are a white  women and because of colonisation black people will always see you as a rich person who must help them because you white do not suffer from poverty and what so ever , they are some predjuges diffficult to erase .you have to accept it like that ,but please stop complaining your complaints are not going to change things ;wipe your tears and fight for your rights  live is a fight n establish rules and fix limits africans have different culture ,the hole morld is diverse isnt this diversity which make the live interestig?i won t help you to complaint change a little bit if it is needed.but stop it it is because of thoughts like that that many predjuges do not change let us build a better world       :::: don t forget enjoy your journey cameroon is beautiful:::lol

Hey Jamila,

How are you? I've noticed some of your posts you added on some discussions & articles, so thought of sending you a message. It'll be great to get to meet you, if that's okay with you. |No stalking behavior intended|.

Since you were in Yaounde, thought of asking to meet for coffee or something at Expresso sometime tomorrow, if you would formally accept the invitation. If you do exchange e-mails, my ID is: |[email protected]| (Don't mind the bars around it).

Well, if you aren't possible to meet tomorrow, anytime this week would be fine (or the other way would be fine - whenever you're available to meet). It's up to you to accept or refuse, and nor would I insist or persist on meeting you. You might not know me personally, so you'll obviously take defensive precautions; no worries, I'll understand.

Anyway, it was just start a conversation and most probably get to know each other - nothing less nor more. Thanks. Talk to you soon.

|Have A Nice Day|.