The other side of the Chinese postcard

China is the ancient exotic culture that it says it is.  It's also the most materialistic place I've ever been.  In between thousand year old temples and mountain forests, you'll always see someone selling something.  You can't go to any temple without passing through the trinket market.  I've never met a single Chinese person who doesn't have to have the latest thing that everyone has to have.

I suppose that's good for the economy, but not so great for the people who can't afford to keep up with the Chiangs.  In China, as in many capitalist countries, people are judged by the things they own.  If your phone is more than 2 years old, you're clearly a bad person.

Chinese people are known as friendly and welcoming.  Many of them are.  China is also full of people who will do everything they can to rob you at the drop of a hat.  Physical safety isn't much of an issue.  Chinese people aren't very violent - unless they're drunk.  Getting robbed at gunpoint is rare.  Instead, the thieves prey on the unknown and scam the hell out of tourists, expats, locals and anyone else who doesn't look past the friendly smile and constant lies.  When a Chinese person says "trust me", he's probably trying to rob you.  The culture considers it perfectly acceptable to lie as long as you make a profit from it.

Chinese food is great.  The irony is that the best Chinese food isn't anything like what most of the world thinks is Chinese food.  Authentic Chinese food is on the other side of the postcard.  Most tourists - and even a lot of expats - will never taste real Chinese food.

The insane crowds of people all going to the same place at the same time are on both sides of the postcard.  They're all over the place.  When you have a country the size of the United States with an extra billion people, it gets a little crowded.

Hailey pretty well sums up China, but I'd also add that it is probably the most regulated, bureaucratic place on the face of the planet, on one side of the card, and at the same time that runs hand in hand with a totally unregulated "black" economy, which seems a totally accepted part of life.

Apart from that, Chinese are often kind and considerate, on the one hand, but of getting on a bus, train, or aircraft, you better be prepared to push, shove and elbow, or you'll be left standing.  Patience, and the ability to queue, is not generally a Chinese characteristic.

Chinese bureaucracy is world famous - and a total joke.  There are a million rules and regulations for everything and every single one of them can be ignored with a well placed bribe or by simple indifference from the people who are supposed to enforce the rules.  Take driving, for example.  There are traffic laws in China, but you'd never know it.

I'd like to mention that although the Chinese have many great qualities, such as their chinese tea, and exercising… they lack mannerism. Also there aren't many gentlemen here. I think China is still a developing country and hopefully begins to improve soon in those factors. All over the world there will always be rude people but from where I come from the things most Chinese do here are unacceptable. Such as, spitting their phlegm and blowing their nose without a tissue down onto the floor of a restaurant! I have seen this many times and I will never get used to that. Luckily I'm leaving soon and I want to come back when I'm officially working for an NGO that is dedicated to ending human trafficking and Gendercide. Since Gendercide continues to be such a massive issue in China, I really want to educate people about that. Many chinese believe that the woman controls the sex of the baby. Wrong! Who is the sperm coming from anyway right? There's a lot of ignorance here and the government just toys around with their people not truly caring for them. IQs are relatively low in many areas of China compared to other parts of the world due to the contamination reaching their brains. China needs to figure out the wellbeing of their people and instead focus on green energy and working to stop further contamination. It's horrible here. Also, I continue to get sick all the time because my students are not taught to cover their mouth or nose when they cough or sneeze. Don't even get me started about nose picking! I always teach my students to cover their mouth and nose… but I go days without seeing them and then they come back and do it again. And it's just virus contamination all over again besides the air pollution. I have faith that one day China will rise above in their etiquette and respect women more and give the poor people praise! Because these poor people work their ass off and no one ever thanks them!

I'm not a huge fan of Chinese cuisine. We only have Cantonese restaurants (use this term loosely in most cases haha) in the immediate vicinity and live off cafeteria food during the week which is also Cantonese style. Meat is drained of blood so it often tastes very different to what you may be used to if you're from a country like England or the USA. They use a lot of fat but very little meat and a lot of bones! Also expect to see water spinach, tofu, chicken/duck feet and lots of spicy dishes if eating at the local restaurants in South East China! Soup I have discovered is mostly like a flavoured oily water dish.  At a restaurant in Guangzhou I saw crocodile, chicken testicles, water beetles, water snakes, turtles and frogs all live and ready to be ordered! (except the crocs, they were already cut up) So food has definitely been the other side of the postcard for me!

Something not mentioned yet, the biggest issue I've had is the treatment of animals. I recently spoke with a Cantonese local, I asked him about the dogs I often saw in cages and he said yes they are to be eaten. But don't worry we only eat the big ones not puppies! If you think he might have been pulling my leg think again, we ended up having a debate about it and his reasoning was "this is Chinese culture, it is not the same as South African culture, animals are food." I get that, I get the argument that what makes a eating a dog different to eating a lamb skewer (he posed this question to me since I was munching one) but even so, even if I was convinced this was a justification (which I still think it is not, dogs and cats have been human companions since forever for a reason) the way animals are treated before hand is bad. I've seen ducks tied with their legs behind their backs carried in packets, I've seen cats tied to poles, I've seen dogs in little cages panting away in the heat and turtles flipped on their backs so they can't escape. It even bothered me seeing live crabs being completely trussed up so all they can move is their eyes. I think it's cruel. I actually went through a phase where I didn't want to go anywhere in case I saw more things like that. In the end I know I am the foreigner here and I chose to come here and must learn to deal with these sort of things, but it is hard, especially if you are an animal lover.  I know China is always involved in animal cruelty issues with things like fur, but seeing it first hand is hard. On an interesting notes, the stray dogs are extremely street smart. We once saw a dog cross at the zebra crossings only and look for traffic like a person. If you know China, you know that traffic here is INSANE. So it's pretty amazing how the dogs have adapted.

Another thing that goes along with manners is the spitting! What a joy to go to Hong Kong and not hear people hacking up a loogie or dodging globs of mucus on the streets! Here in Dongguan, the bus drivers have their windows open and will 9 times out of 10 launch a spit bomb out of it on the trip. It's been 6 months and I still can't not feel queasy. Also, on the note of bus drivers, I think they might be mostly psychopaths! Either that or they are on permanent training for the Dakar Rally. And it seem the fuller the bus is, the more people there are standing and clinging to every surface available for support, the more crazy these guys will drive! Never mind trying to get on or off a bus that starts moving when you are barely halfway on or off! . I've become mostly used to the pushing and people jumping queues, other expats and I have come to the conclusion that in a place so populated and so commercially driven there is only the fight for yourself that exists. I'm not justifying it, I've just learnt to push back 

Hey girl! I can't get used to the life here, so I'm leaving. I don't know how so many people can put up with all of this, especially us foreigners…. But I guess people like the "freedom" of spitting and peeing wherever they please. At least that's my other expat guy friend said. So apparently men are ok with all this dirtiness

Anyways I totally agree with you on all that you wrote. Best of luck here

Hey Frida_Samanta

I've felt like that often. It's part of the culture shock I think. The problem I've found for foreigners is a lack of support. I came to this school because the guy who employed me was American so I mistakenly thought I'd have better support as a foreigner adjusting to Asian life. I'm sure you can guess that that was not the case! My colleague and I are constantly reminded how much more we earn than the local teachers (as though we controlled that). That fault is with the system in that regard. Because of our salaries being public knowledge we are really treated differently. We pretty much feel excluded from everything. I can live with that, I left my home country and my friends, my family and my boyfriend so I could earn this salary and I won't feel bad for it I suffer enough. But then on top of that everything is so new and confusing and nobody is willing to explain or help or understand what you are going through. I don't really understand that, I know in SA any person would be willing to help a foreigner out. So having to ask for help here feels like pulling teeth! This past holiday was the BEST. A week into the month break pretty much all the Chinese teachers had gone home and the power cable to our school was apparently stolen. We had 2 days without electricity. Then they connect the generator but our apartments are not connected to it. After we all complained we were connected but then had constant power failures throughout the holiday. On top of that, the water heater had not been working properly since a month prior to the holiday. We had to take daily cold showers in temperatures that often didn't get above 10 degrees and dropped to around 4 at night. Most of us felt ready to give then, one guy actually quit. Of course there was barely anyone to contact about it and we got the general impression that nobody really cared since it was just us foreigners here. So that sucked.

Having support, somebody to show you around, explain things to you, can make such a huge difference. I read somewhere that over half the foreigners who come here give up before their contracts are up. I won't say it is all bad, some people do try to be nice (except one of the cafeteria ladies, she hates us. We do not know why haha. She slaps our food on our trays and splatters us while glaring murderously at us) but it really does take a lot of getting used to. People should be more aware of that. Obviously employers do not tell you any of this. As for guys finding it easier here, I haven't met all that many foreign guys, but my impression so far is the attention they get from locals is what makes them so content to accept other things. I am generalizing, as I said I haven't met many foreigners yet. But it seems a bit of exploitation of the opposite sex occurs in many cases. I don't like it and it makes me feel embarrassed to be a foreigner sometimes.

You and I literally have the same experience! I feel relieved that I'm not the only one feeling this way. That's why I'm thankful for this Expat.com, that I found actually when I was already here. Next time I move to another country I will definitely look up testimonials. I had this illusion of a kind and cultured people. But there is no gender equality. Women are basically worthless in many parts of China and I can't stand to live in a place like this. I mean I try to make my coworkers open their eyes and be aware of what they're going through but many of them are conformists and they don't care about creating change. As long as they have the new iPhone they don't care how they got it, just as long as they are in with the trend. So sad! Also, gendercide! so bad here. I really do hope China begins to grow in many aspects, besides just economy wise. My family is from Mexico and I was born in California. The people in Mexico are willing to go out of their way any day any time to help out a foreigner that's why many people travel to Mexico. Yet here I always feel unwelcome -_- no one is really happy here. People are just stable and that's the best thing in the world for them. They lack ambition. I have met one Chinese friend who actually has ambition. She says that once she gets enough money to travel outside of China, she will most likely stay out forever. She knows her people. After meeting me I gave her hope to pursue her dreams. At least I made a positive impact with one person. Of course I can't forget the students I've taught to. I love them dearly… most of them haha I guess you might be able to relate to that. Yet, some of them are extremely spoiled and ill-mannered. I can't even get any respect and I know that where we come from, being a teacher is a respected job although people talk shit, but either way if you don't listen you can leave the classroom. But since I teach at a training center all they care about is recruiting more and more students and not teaching them…. so my classes are packed and students don't learn anything in some of the classes because everyone goes crazy and we aren't really allowed to control them. Go figure! I have been here eight months and I am so happy to be leaving. It is a wonderful salary, and so sad that I had to leave my country to get an opportunity like this. But if I am not happy, I will not remain here. Perhaps I can try another country for teaching… but I'll definitely do my research better. Also, trust me, you are not generalizing at all girl! I totally have the same life as you almost here in China lol.

yeah, sites like this can be like a lifeline sometimes. I'm sure there are cultural things we don't understand that make things work a certain way and the Chinese are content with it and I suppose it's their choice, but I absolutely hate it when I see foreigners exploiting it. It's one thing to be ignorant of things, it's another to be aware and still choose to act a certain way. I do respect Chinese people, they work extremely hard and a lot of them are (seemingly) content despite having so little. I also fully understand that it is not my culture so I can't really judge. But some aspects are so hard to deal with. I have also seen those very spoilt children. Luckily we currently only have a few kids in our department so controlling that and teaching them to behave has been ok, but when I go over to the domestic department... sheesh. I once saw 4 kids holding one kid and hitting him! I saved the little guy and took him to a teacher who basically shrugged the incident off. By the same token though I am extremely fond of the kids I teach. We have a downs syndrome child, no other school would accept her and there are no special needs facilities here. That's really sad. Luckily she has dedicated parents. We teach them only in English and their capacity to learn is amazing. So there are good things. I had to work Christmas night with the flu (thanks American boss for understanding how miserable I was that day) but in the end, sitting there with the kids watching a movie, I think they were in fact the best company I could have had anyway  I get what you mean about people from your home country being friendlier, South African's are like that. For all their faults they are much friendlier people. I struggled with that so much my first two months here. Well well done for sticking it out for 8 months, I still have four on my contract! If Thailand paid better I'd definitely go there, I've heard so much good stuff about Thai people. But maybe with more time, when the stress of all the newness and difficulties is over things here will look peachy again. Can only hope 

Yes I really hope you begin to have a better experience here and I hope you don't shrug off their lifestyle like the other foreigners do lol. Like I think it's okay to accept them and only hope that they advance soon. Do whatever you can and keep strong girl! But yeah Thailand, I have a friend who will go work there next year because he weighed his options for work and decided on Thailand. He met many chinese through QQ and he said uhm… nope China isn't for me lol.

Haha no it is very unlikely I would adopt Chinese values, especially with money and inequality. I just need to find a way to live with it! But I come from a country where inequality is rife so I'm kind of used to it. Not that I like it, but some battles are beyond my control. As a white South African my opinion back home meant little in the grand scheme and as a non American expat in China I find myself in a similar situation! But it's ok, we find ways to get by 

You're right girl and I admire your passion to keep going no matter what. That's great ambition Not everything in life is simple and there will be obstacles, we just have to learn to get past them

melis82 wrote:

What a joy to go to Hong Kong and not hear people hacking up a loogie or dodging globs of mucus on the streets!

I see, hear and smell this in Hong Kong every day.  It's the same culture with only a very slight British influence that's fading away all the time.

As bad as the spitting is, it still beats the public urination.

Hailey, if you should ever have the misfortune of coming to the rural areas of Dongguan, you will see how bad it is here. Hong Kong is so great in comparison with regards to spitting and public urination.I'm sure it happens there too but in my experience it was nothing as bad as here! Also the traffic. Walking here is an absolute nightmare, the cars drive on the side walks and there is just chaos on the road. Hong Kong felt so much more orderly after living here for 5 months. It was also nice to see more foreign faces. Here you barely see any and when you do it's like a surprise for both parties haha! Foreigners get stared at so much here and you can't go anywhere without having your photo taken. I don't mind that, I don't really care if they take photos but it's funny how sometimes blatantly they do it and sometimes surreptitiously. My friends actually did it back to a poor guy on the bus haha. One thing I did see a lot of in both places is foot prints on the seats of Western toilets! And I won't go into going through the border check point! I actually had moments of panic that I might be crushed or stampeded. I do't know where everybody is running to there!

Speaking of footprints on the toilets!! My friend hooked up with a Chinese girl one time… many times many girls actually haha… but one of them, asked to use the restroom. He walked in on her standing above the toilet…. taking a shit… WTF!!! hahahaa

I spend a lot of time on the Mainland.  The public behavior that we consider incredibly rude and they consider perfectly normal is the same here and there.  The Hong Kong MTR cleans the urine - and worse - on the ground more often than some places in the rest of China, but they still have to clean up after people who think the world is their public toilet.  What probably made you feel better in Hong Kong was the greater variety of foreigners and the fact that Hong Kong police aren't afraid to enforce traffic laws.

I see foreigners in Hong Kong every day, but I still get stared at.  That's just the way it is when you're not Chinese.  We're strange to them no matter how many of us there are.  Little children still point at me and scream "外國人" or "鬼佬" even though I'm far from the only one around.  Their parents never teach them any better.

The most obvious difference between the Mainland and Hong Kong is driving.  Chinese drivers in Hong Kong are horrible, but there are consequences sometimes.  It seems to be a free for all in the rest of China.

China is now there are a lot of problems: environmental pollution, personal accomplishment, social problems, government corruption and so on, all you say is an objective reality, but also in progress, China is also in the postwar decades development needs to solve the problems are many, would you please give China more time more tolerant to China more help in the development of China will be better feedback of the people of the world will be better，Thanks for come to China every friend

Hailey, I'll admit I was only in Hong Kong for about three days, and traffic is the same side of the road as back home so I felt more at home (I nearly get ridden over in China on a daily basis, and sometimes it is actually my fault haha) it also looks a lot like my home city of Durban in some places so maybe I was just biased! I live in rural Dongguan, it's construction everywhere and there is river of sewerage that flows though the town (nice and ripe in a humid climate!) it's probably all the worst things in mainland China that is present here!

Qiang, I do agree with you in some respect. If you think of how far China has come it really is impressive. South Africa is the same, there is a lot of change happening that is hampered by all the problems that come with the shifting of power and the inevitable corruption and inequality. I think it's just much harder for foreigners to tolerate when we don't understand Chinese culture and there are just so few people who are willing to help you (without hoping to gain something anyway) I think a lot of ways us foreigners are just treated like a business commodity and not as people. I am mainly speaking for foreign teachers here. I'm not sure if it's the same in other industries. I am a teacher back home and I came here to teach because it is what I actually enjoy doing but I feel like I mean nothing as a teacher sometimes. Perhaps if the employer's attitudes changed toward foreign employees there would be a lot more happier foreigners. We often don't have things explained to us and are left to fend for ourselves. I don't think living in any new country is easy but China seems to be especially hard. But many of us are here and still trying 

I think most expats in China are very tolerant.  That's not even the right word, really.  We're the foreigners here.  The locals are tolerant of us.  The people who can't handle it leave fairly quickly.

It might seem like we're bashing China, but we're just telling people about the other side of the postcard.  If we said it was all sunshine & lollipops, that would be a major disservice to anyone thinking about hopping on a slow boat.

What people outside of China hear about it usually isn't very accurate.  This site lets those of us who know the reality on the ground tell the truth to prospective expats.

melis82 wrote:

I live in rural Dongguan, it's construction everywhere and there is river of sewerage that flows though the town (nice and ripe in a humid climate!) it's probably all the worst things in mainland China that is present here!

One area where Hong Kong is head & shoulders above the Mainland is the lack of open sewer rivers.  The funky smells of Hong Kong always seem like roses after I come back from the Mainland.

I know right? My sister came to visit me from the UK, I warned her about it but nothing could have prepared her for when she hit that wall of stench that is the entrance to the fresh fruit and veg market. I actually enjoy it now when new people go there for the first time, that look of horror and amazement... squatty toilets also suck in this regard, bad plumbing so it smells worse and you kinda have to get close to it to use it haha! I never felt so low in my life as the first time I had to use a squatty at the Guangzhou bus station... excuse the pun  But really, I felt humiliated. Now it's daily life!

Lol! The first time I had to use the squat toilet was the day after I arrived in Shanghai at the bus station! I went inside and said wait what the hell? umm I must be in the men's bathroom? And nope! Lol! Now I guess I'm an expert squatter! Lol these people are like very dirty especially the women! The bathrooms in the mall I work in are so nasty all the time. I'm like dude you've been squatting your whole life how do you not know how to get your shit into the toilet? ARGHH!! Ewww haha I'm so glad I'll be leaving soon

Can't help thinking I'm getting very tolerant in my old age, but have to say that while Xiamen is hardly perfect, I'm rarely offended living there.   I don't live or work in the an ex-pat area, but it's not that bad.   There's too much litter in a lot of places, driving is an experience, manners aren't always what they could be, and there's the gratuitous spitting, but despite all that, it's a reasonable place to live.  I suppose one just adjusts to where one happens to be, or if one can't adjust, then moves on.    Haven't found any open sewers in Xiamen though…..at least, not yet...

melis82 wrote:

I actually enjoy it now when new people go there for the first time, that look of horror and amazement...

That's as bad as how much I'm amused by taking people up to Victoria Peak and watching them look around for the famous postcard view that you're never going to see on a typically smoggy day.

markhoward wrote:

Haven't found any open sewers in Xiamen though…..at least, not yet...

Now that you mention it, I don't remember seeing any in Xiamen - but I wasn't there for very long.