Filipinas who develop a bad attitude when they marry a foreigner

Good topic and very thought provoking in so many aspects.

You can say all that again.    You sound like a man just like me.   However, as miserable as this place can be it does fit my budget.   I lived in the states for 61 years and I'm kind of tired of that place also  (add to that the high prices you have to pay).  Life ultimately is a  compromise where your jolly expectations are met by a world indifferent to the way you would want it. 
     Given my budget, I guess I have to stay here where gradually you learn to adjust and achieve a median level of contentment.   A wise man once said, "if you have your health" you have just about everything.   
     I would add one more:   Company.     Now that can be had in the Philippines. I have a wife who keeps me company and when we are not together--I GET LONELY and I don't like it.
     So I put up with it all (noise, isolation because of language and culture, mosquitos, odd tasting food, incomprehensible Filippinos, barking dogs, etc.) for the two things that matter to me the most:  I have my health, (so far) and I have a good woman to watch TV with, sleep with and to eat with. 
     Another wise once told me:  Keep your LIFE SIMPLE.    So I guess I am doing just that.

FilAmericanMom wrote:

I'm really annoyed at how some Filipinas develop a bad attitude when they marry a foreigner. They become aloof, arrogant, whiny, complaining "female dogs," which they weren't before they got married.

My parents had such a tenant who complained on almost anything. She rented their vacation home in Tagaytay. After 3 months, she started complaining that there were ants in the house, when previous to her staying, my parents did not have such a problem. (Duh! If you don't clean up after you eat, you'll attract all sorts of insects and pests.) Then she wanted my senior citizen parents here in Manila to go all the way to Tagaytay asap because she said the windows won't slide open. When they got there, they tested the windows and they did slide properly. What the girl wanted was for the windows to open fast and "smoothly", like with just a flick of a finger. Unbelievable!

She complained about low water pressure at certain times of the day. My parents told her that this is why the house has a pressure tank in case you need high water pressure during times with low water pressure. She said she doesn't want to use it because she had to go downstairs to turn on a switch. And she is reluctant to take a shower when there's high water pressure because it's colder during that time. Gosh! There are 3 baths in the house all with working water heaters! And to think, this is a girl who used to live in a hut in the provinces. And then moved to Manila in shabby shared rooms / bed space. And probably used to take a "shower" using a bucket and pail of water!

I have had many Filipina customers who are also like her, who were used to a hard life, but now, thanks to their financier, now live in condos and complain about every little thing that makes life "hard" for them. They are so annoying.

Recently, I installed for such a customer, new sliding windows with a panel for insect screens. And also replaced torn screens of old windows installed by the developer. Days later, her assistant called us and told us that her boss was complaining and angry because the screens we installed were not sliding. But when we got there, they did slide. It was the lighter-duty (and cheaper) windows that the developer had installed that she was complaining about. But even those slid properly too, although not as smoothly as the ones we installed because those had heavier-duty framing, tracks and rollers. And she makes us go back to the site over and over again for nothing, just to go on and on that the developer's windows did not slide properly.

So now, she wants to have all the old windows replaced with new ones, except the ones in the maid's room, but that would mean more work to be done and more expenses too as the tiles of her window sill would need to be cut to make way for the bigger tracks of the new windows. And I think she's going to convince her foreigner husband to replace the old windows, so she can open her windows with less effort.

I'm not going to accept any more contracts from her. I just ignore her requests to go and check her complains. I was just doing a favor for one of my regular clients, whose client in turn was this annoying woman. My client was actually embarassed at this woman's behavior, of whom my client was also surprised considering that the annoying woman was used to a hard life a few years back before she married the foreigner.

I'm not saying that all Filipinas who marry foreigners are like these women I described. I believe that these women who develop a bad attitude are but a few. But they are out there.

am happy to say my wife did not developed a bad atitude after we maried , that dont meen i can get away with what is not aceptebol in maridge hahaha

FilAmericanMom wrote:

I'm really annoyed at how some Filipinas develop a bad attitude when they marry a foreigner. They become aloof, arrogant, whiny, complaining "female dogs," which they weren't before they got married.

My ex-wife also complained about them, when she first came to Australia.
By the time we divorced, she was one of them..

My Fiancee now, also complains about them....
I hope the future is different this time...

A reality check is sometimes needed

Although i live in Cebu with my gf of 2 years,, just now and then i send her home to stay for a weekend,,, just so she appreciates where she lives with me,

lol i don't mean i actually send her home,,, she goes there on her own to visit , that sounded mean for a second,,,

but you get what i am saying

ABCDiamond wrote:

FilAmericanMom wrote:

I'm really annoyed at how some Filipinas develop a bad attitude when they marry a foreigner. They become aloof, arrogant, whiny, complaining "female dogs," which they weren't before they got married.

My ex-wife also complained about them, when she first came to Australia.
By the time we divorced, she was one of them..

My Fiancee now, also complains about them....
I hope the future is different this time...

I believe that how we choose to act depends in part on our upbringing and life experiences.

Here in the Philippines, there are children who barely got any guidance from their parents or elders.  The parents themselves were young when they got married, not getting enough life experiences. The children see characters on tv such as those in telenovelas acting superior after they've married the rich hacienda owner. So if they have a sudden windfall or an assumption of it, like when they marry a foreigner, they may have a tendency emulate these characters on tv.

Also, some of these women are very young. They might not understand or know what it is to be their own person. They're still searching for role models whom to emulate.  If the foreigner husband has a superiority complex, the young spouse could acquire it.

The husband of the Filipino woman, the wife of whom I mentioned in my original post, who rented my parents' vacation house in Tagaytay was also a constant complainer and arrogant.

He commented at one point that he disliked the Filipino wife's ex-bf.  He said, in front of my dad, mom, brother and me: Filipinos make bad husbands or fathers. Totally rude and uncalled for. That's just one of his many rude comments. If I acted like that, my parents would have scolded me and said “We did not send you to Ateneo De Manila for you to end up behaving like this.” Fortunately, they have not had found the chance or need to say that.

Like him, my husband sometimes blurts out something disrespectful about Filipinos. “Only in the Philippines . . . blah blah blah” or “This is BS. No wonder why the Philippines is still a third world country.” I'm 46. He's younger than I am by just a little over 4 years. I'm really getting tired of apologizing for him or saying "pasensya na po" because he's not a child.

Good luck with your fiancee. You behave too, okay, for her sake.

Philipina my wife has to take money from me and when most of it under my CEBU CITY abandon here has got to meet a real girl and do not understand me because I work from under here Salair Philippine her deaf mute tell me what counts it is the heart and ca do one year we're together

I thought it was an English speaking forum.
christianvianin can you rephrase that so that we can understand?

Huh??? What the hell did he just say? That even makes
"Bad" English look bad.

christianvianin wrote:

Philipina my wife has to take money from me and when most of it under my CEBU CITY abandon here has got to meet a real girl and do not understand me because I work from under here Salair Philippine her deaf mute tell me what counts it is the heart and ca do one year we're together

Your post is off topic. Such posts are likely to be deleted as they do not contribute anything to the forum.

It's really simple.  The Filipina takes the attitude of the foreigner and runs with it.  Thus now you have two up-set people who enjoy complaining instead of just living!

Touché

tn101112 wrote:

It's really simple.  The Filipina takes the attitude of the foreigner and runs with it.  Thus now you have two up-set people who enjoy complaining instead of just living!

Your really simple blanket statement can often be very wrong.  But that does sound like my ex wife, always blame someone else for everything, never take responsibility.  Filipinas are never wrong.

Maybe some foreigners should take the attitude of some Filipina's, and just take what they can.

I have had relationships with 3 Filipinas, one was a bad one, she kept her ways, would not change, and just wanted the best of everything.  I liked a relaxed comfortable life but never having or wanting everything. She wanted what everyone else wanted, and argued for more and more...  Must be a BMW car, not a Hyundia, etc... etc...

The other two, more like me. Liking a relaxed, non-confrontational life, being happy with what we have, not wanting what's out of reach, etc.

i see a lot of gennerallising of how ppl are,in my view every person is an individual whit an individual personality and upbringing .
i just watched a pool on facebook were uni students were asked who won the civil war end to who brad pit was married ,only 1 in 10 new the correct answer tho the first question ,they all new brads wife haha.
dos this means the future leaders of the US are bird brains?
i dont think so .
but it wood be very easy to gennerallise after seeing this,just as it is easy to gennerallise a ppl upon the behavior of a few .
often atittudes are a reflection of the suroundings
but this is just my opinion ,maibe a got lucky ,or maibe others just got bad luck
greets Dirk

Well said !!

indeed a very interesting forum !!!!!!! has given me another slant on a possible relationship ! cheers

We never have arguments and I make all the choices even after giving her the first opportunity, this seems great until there's a mistake then you have only yourself to blame. Most foreigners have come from a relationship that ended in quarrels and horrible insults together with sarcastic innuendos that are not understood by most Filipinos. I find myself embarking on a problem with the old words and have to stop myself because they don't get you anywhere here and prolonging the tension just makes matters worse. If you have the patience to step back for a moment from a augment then my advice is to do it and give her a hug!

To all you expats its not rocket science, just use caution and common sense.
If you let your dxxx rule your brain, just expect trouble.

Norm Allard wrote:

To all you expats its not rocket science, just use caution and common sense.
If you let your dxxx rule your brain, just expect trouble.

soooo truuuuuuu hahahahahaaaaaa

i agree on that.. so better know your partner-to-be first and don't rush getting married because you might regret it in the end.. you may also consider marrying a person who's not asking for money from you or trying to do drama stuff for you to feel pity on them and falling from what they want.. an independent person who works money for her own and not a slutty one and someone who's respectable is better than the one's who looks cute and innocent and in the end doesnt love you and would take care of you.. sad story.. not just Filipinas but in general.. men and women and other nationalities..

If you marry a 24 year old, you have dug your own grave and prostituted whatever moral values you once may have possessed.

Simple solution : Do NOT get married, especially in a Country where divorce is illegal.

you can take a girl out of the bar but you can not take the bar out of the girl.
they just keep the bar mentality ,not marridge material for level headed men,only fools go there to get married and then get only lies and distorted truth's wile they get dekapitalised.

dirk c wrote:

you can take a girl out of the bar but you can not take the bar out of the girl.
they just keep the bar mentality ,not marridge material for level headed men,only fools go there to get married and then get only lies and distorted truth's wile they get dekapitalised.

Why would anyone thing they would find marriage material in a bar?  Check out the province, go to church, plenty of good women out there, just have to know where to look.

"dekapitalised" Good one! I like it!

correct.. just not choosing the slutty province girls who does magic how to catch foreign guys.. the boiling point is know each other first, right? god bless everyone! O

mi wife was hard working and surrounded by family warning here to watch out for foreigners as they make false promises ,well we found each other and she has not changed a bit, except maybe a few extra pounds but i find that cute, so we'r good

greets Dirk

That's good news, congrats on finding a good wife!  How long have you both been married?  Planning to stay, or back to EU?   Thanks for your post, one of the few encouraging ones for 'decent gentlemen' seeking in the 'right places and ways'.

Touche

How is something illegal, that doesn't even exist?

Norm Allard wrote:

Dirk you may need an education before you post again. Your an embarrassment.

Your not the same as you're.

cant be bothered by mosquito noises
small minded comments mostly are given by small minds hehehe.
to be honest i never was really looking for a filipina bride ,i got my eye on the caribean to end my days ,but than i got in tuch whit Perlie ,who was
not realy looking to,and it kind of "clickt" real fast.in 2 months we been maried for 3 yrs .
i stil think moving here was one of my better moves.

greets Dirk

This may not be so much about finding fault with who changed, it may be more about finding a true match.

No matter what country or blog topic, the visitor or local, we will always find the good and the not so good!  As it relates to the PI and finding the right match here, the options truly match the number of available person and then some.  It is very possible that a change can occur with a marriage or without. 

One must take the time to understand the mindsets found in less developed/poorer locations as we venture out of the USA (or similarly structured economies).  This starts with the expat!

Although the PI is an independent and sovereign country, there are many, many similarities that can be found within the citizens from similar economies.  The expat that considers these facts prior to moving/visiting the PI, should make adjustments to ease his/her mate's shock regarding a sudden increase in perceived and or actual wealth. 

If the expat seeks a match with a humble and kind person that places a committed relationship well above a desire to "jump up in society", they have a great chance of learning perspective and remaining together to build a lasting relationship. This discovery does not come fast or with silence or a failure to communicate.  This could be the process step where many of us fail and or act way to fast (i.e., marry fast, don't get to learn each other well, and make sex the key relationship foundation) !

Since some are waiting to "catch the fast elevator up" and some are waiting to fulfill the "I want a young piece of arm candy", the paths of two such persons will most likely cross but will those two different focuses end up with a harmonious union?  I think not.  Back in 2012, I was preparing for retirement to the Philippines and came across this very insightful article (yes, an article that has helped me):  https://www.psychologytoday.com/article … right-mate

So, what is a good match where actual or perceived negative changes will not harm a marriage and how does a person find such a concept? 

We each must find the questions that match our needs/concerns and then find the person that has the answers that match our questions.  If we fail to ask honest questions and give honest answers, clearly the person in our mirror will need to answer to the failures.  I believe a good match will not result in a major change after marriage.

it is my observation that Filipinas coming from a hard working background usualy not change much .but some expats look to find gf in bars and those can get serious atitude ,as the wise man sayed "the girl can be taken out of the bar but the bar cant be taken out of the girl.

for those looking to find a life partner be aware of were you go looking.valuebal things can be found in the trash can but most of the time it is trash ya will find.

just my opinion ,i can be wrong here,,,,,(but i dont think soooo)

greets Dirk

An effectively true post.

I'd love to have a Godly wife.  And, NEVER go to clubs or bars in CDO.

I would ask this....   for those who have married a filipino (who was NOT found in a bar)....  who have been married for 3 or more years.. could you write me any 'changes' or the level of mutual 'satisfaction in a peaceful home' you have or not have together?

Thank you

WHY get married?????

we'r maried  3 yrs and the only change was that we both gained some extra weight hehehe.
we have a great life together and are planning to build our house soon .my wife have an atitude but it is a great one never complains, always happy even over small things .
i find us growing towards eachother more and more.never been so happy,best yrs of my life .
and were ever we go all do respect my wife and boost about here good reputation .
so it looks as if i won the lotery ,big time he.

greets Dirk