Grass is greener on the other side

I have been living in Manila for the past 3 years. I have a good job and keep very active, but have a lot of down time in the office so am pretty much online during the day, thats why I post a lot and hope to gie a little bit of advice, good or bad.

Am curious though, it seems that a lot of people posting on these boards can fall into 3 categories.

1 - foreigners looking for work in the phils. A lot of Indians/Bangladeshis. What made you want to move to the Phils? The economy is not growing, its centered in the BPO/call centers which pays little, and in general you will be very poor. Is life that much tougher in your home country and now you see the Philippines as land of milk and honey/

2 - foreigners that come here looking for a wife. Many find them on the Internet and willing to move here for love and then get burned. If you have the Internet and peruse any boards for a small amount of time, would see that most of it are scams or marriages fall apart in short time due to misconceived perceptions. For example, average US male age 60 divorced and has grown kids wants to move to the Phils and live like a king on his social security. As any one around here and will be quickly told will have to support family, little medical care, and generally be worse of financially. And when the money stops flowing, the girls will see you for what you are, a desperate old fart who wants to have a pretty young thing who treats him like the June Cleaver. If you cant find your soul mate in the country you live in, dont expect to find her here.

3- locals looking to make money of 1 & 2, usually wanting to sell condos and promising quick profits. Do you really think 1 & 2 above have any money to invest when they are barely surviving in their home country? People with money are on other boards.

Before you give up everything and move to the Philippines, please consider that the grass is not greener over here. When a third of the people want to be OFWs and live in near servitude in SG, Dubai, etc, do you really think its better here?

Anyway, thats my thoughts of the day. Have a good weekend, finally no LPAs forecasted for Manila.

There is a 4th category..

4. Foreigners who move here to live in rural areas which are much more affordable than their home countries...Where in 1st world nations can you find a $250-$400 a month 3 bed condo right on the beach with beautiful scenery all around, have a housemaid for $100 a month, have auto maintenance at $5 hour etc...NOWHERE!!

I agree with your 2nd category only if the EXPAT never took the time to carefully scrutinize his would be lover and their motives for wanting a foreigner...However there are many women in this nation who look for an older foreigner because they know many of their own men tend to be unfaithful, abusive and irresponsible so why not find an older man who can give them unconditional love and support...That is what most domesticated women of the world want...

Like yourself I lived in Manila for about 8 months, so I can understand your logic in defining the categories as you have because living in Manila is all about survival and jockeying for position...But it is not quite the same living in areas such as I am...

I think you need to get away from the city and experience the cheap laid back living, wonderful domesticated Filipina's, close knit caring communities which are available here...

Perhaps then you will understand why so many EXPAT's move here because the grass is truly greener here on a limited income which truly is difficult for them to survive in their home country...

vetretreat wrote:

There is a 4th category..

4. Foreigners who move here to live in rural areas which are much more affordable than their home countries...Where in 1st world nations can you find a $250-$400 a month 3 bed condo right on the beach with beautiful scenery all around, have a housemaid for $100 a month, have auto maintenance at $5 hour etc...NOWHERE!!

I agree with your 2nd category only if the EXPAT never took the time to carefully scrutinize his would be lover and their motives for wanting a foreigner...However there are many women in this nation who look for an older foreigner because they know many of their own men tend to be unfaithful, abusive and irresponsible so why not find an older man who can give them unconditional love and support...That is what most domesticated women of the world want...

Like yourself I lived in Manila for about 8 months, so I can understand your logic in defining the categories as you have because living in Manila is all about survival and jockeying for position...But it is not quite the same living in areas such as I am...

I think you need to get away from the city and experience the cheap laid back living, wonderful domesticated Filipina's, close knit caring communities which are available here...

Perhaps then you will understand why so many EXPAT's move here because the grass is truly greener here on a limited income which truly is difficult for them to survive in their home country...


i agree :)

Married my pen pal of 2 years in 1994, got her a spousal visa, made our money in the USA, now we are preparing to enjoy being in category 4 in a few years.  Have not found a better alternative for the money, plan to visit much of Asia.  You must do your homework to succeed.

Right on Mugtech...Where have you decided to retire to??...

Ilocos Sur, 20 minutes south of Vigan.  Probably spend baseball season in USA, rest of time in Asia.

mugtech wrote:

Ilocos Sur, 20 minutes south of Vigan.  Probably spend baseball season in USA, rest of time in Asia.


that is a nice place :)

It has its ups and downs, but if you are earning good money it can be great. Just be cautious!

If grass is greener on the other side than here, why you are here for 3 years now? so it only means you are enjoying the grass here even if its not greener:)

so why not let the other foreigners experience of what you are experiencing in here now?

peace:) just an opinion

dora143 wrote:

If grass is greener on the other side than here, why you are here for 3 years now? so it only means you are enjoying the grass here even if its not greener:)

so why not let the other foreigners experience of what you are experiencing in here now?

peace:) just an opinion


Nicely put Young Lady,

dhnindc tends to be overly cynical because of being in the big city of Manila seeing all the negative the Philippines has to offer there...Living in that big city TRAP can make anyone give unfavorable reviews of what it is like to live in this beautiful country...As I had said previously all one needs to do is move to the provinces and find the true Filipino culture and its warm and friendly people...

My opinion on the original poster's post:

On #1: My husband works for a BPO. His bosses from India were sent here by their company. Why they agreed to be transferred? Because they'll be given more money / incentives to manage a profitable branch here in the Philippines. With the latest model of Blackberry on one hand, and Starbucks caramel macchiato on the other, and a chauffer to bring them home, yeah, they are poor.

On #2: Foreigners who want to stretch their retirement money move here because it's cheaper to live here, not because they want to find a wife. Some actually moved here with their wife.  And why are you hitting on marriages between Filipinas and foreigners in particular, when there are women from other nationalities who are even worse?

Any relationship developed through the internet has risks, whether it be through a chat room or dating site. And many are aware of that, but chose to ignore it. I myself had a relationship with an Asian foreigner via the internet. We eventually had a meet up in the Philippines, and then he went back to his home country.  But over time, I felt he was pressuring me to go to the US and acquire an American citizenship. I dumped him. Who knows if once in the US, he's going to marry then divorce me? Just be smart when you're thinking of marrying a foreigner.

My advice to older foreigners who want to have a Filipina companion, pick a same-age range wealthy educated Filipina widow. She'll treat you right, and parade / show you off to her "amigas". You might find yourself ballroom dancing with her at parties.

On #3: How do you know that these locals don't have money? Have you asked them?

As dora143 has mentioned, why did you move here and stay for 3 years if the grass here is not greener for you, by the way?

I moved here because of greener pastures.  I lost my job in the US. Then, there's the recession of 2008 and the housing bubble bursting with high-risk mortgage loans packaged into rosy-on-the-outside but dangerous-on-the-inside mortgage backed securities. I would probably have a hard time finding a job there. And even when I had a job, we won't be able to afford owning a decent home in San Francisco, even if our combined income then was US$90K+.

Our income is a lot lower in the Philippines, numbers wise. But we can afford to live a good life here as I run a successful business. Now, we are in the process of building our own home, something I will not be able to afford in California. (Moving to a different state with a lower cost of living where we don't know anyone, was actually more unnerving to us that moving to the Philippines, where I will be with my Filipino family and things familiar.) And we were also able to afford to have a second child.

Managing a business, I work longer hours here. It's not a problem since I'm a hardworking gal. I was willing to work long hours in the US, but there was no opportunity to do so.

The grass is greener here for me.

"My advice to older foreigners who want to have a Filipina companion, pick a same-age range wealthy educated Filipina widow. She'll treat you right, and parade / show you off to her "amigas". You might find yourself ballroom dancing with her at parties."

OMG,

There's no way I'm going to date someone who is as old and ugly as I am. That's insulting, and I don't know if my heart could take it anyway, nitroglycerin will only take you so far you know, two sniffs, and you are on your own. I'd just as soon date myself, it's cheaper, easier, and a lot less headaches. And with the spin on the ballroom floor, once she let go of me, I'm sure it would be the end. I'd either crash through the window, trip over my walking cane onto someone's table, or down a stairway, never to come back again.