Monthly support to Vietnamese GF a mistake?

hELLnoi wrote:

What I really like to know is
1 How many times did Tito12 get taken for?
2 How much did Tito12 loss to those poorly educated pretty face.
It is very unusual for an educated person from the West to hold such conviction against the women of his employer country.
I am very happy that Tito12 found his deserving spouse in Vietnam.

People have friends everywhere, you do not need to be one of them(what they are) to hang aroundthem. Live in some country for years and you will have deeper insight. You do not need to be drug addict to have insight into drug scene,you do not need to be gay know a lot about gay scene,you do not need to be bum to hang out with them,you do not need to be a pimp to hang out around prostitutes,you do not need to be burned to know how some scene operates, you do not need to be in many situations to be in depth knowledge about something.You can hang around them you can know them,you can learn from them but it doesn't mean you are one of them and that you have had bad experiences. You never had a gay friend or drug addicted friend through whom you would learn more about the scene? I learned a LOT from some gold diggers and GFE's in Vietnam  There are a lot of people living in SE Asian on this forum,who are married to Vietnamese and would say they have a happy marriage but have a very in depth knowledge on how some women (and men) operate. Once you stay in this country for years,even decade you meet and learn about lots of things.

My gf is western and I have not been burned by Vietnamese. There are so many good girls,noble girls, good friends that I have in this country but I am just commenting in the threads where there is something to comment. Why would anyone comment in a thread where a guy would say "My girlfriend is nice,I have no problems,no signs ,I'm just saying hello". You can think whatever you like but I'd prefer to see the counter arguments based on experience.

Tito12 wrote:

hELLnoi wrote:

christine thuy wrote:

Problem is we dont know hELLnoi. we can be right AND can be wrong too.

But we are prosecuting her without knowing what NashCat chatted with her, and ready to send her to the gallows without even knowing who she is.

We are just telling him what the possibilities are, this is SE Asia and this is how the things are here, especially when it concerns mixed relationships and money. Yes, innocent until proven guilty but you seem to wear a rose colored glasses too often

You probably haven't seen how Western girls throw themselves at the feet of Arabs all over Europe.
I do wear glasses but I refrain from sweeping statements.
Since I am on to you:
1) How many times were you taken for?
2) How much did you loss to those fairly educated pretty face.
before you decided to crusade against ALL Vietnamese women.
Finally, I congratulate you on your success on find your spouse.I am sure you will treasure her well, after knowing what hELLhole it is to find the PERFECT one.

NashCat,

Hopefully, all responses you have received thus far will wake you up as far as seeing what kind of a person your gf is.  I see more red flags from what you have described.  She is clearly milking you and taking advantage of you!

Any responsible caring person (male or female) who has good moral character would not ask others for more to live outside of his/her means.  Your gf wants to live the luxury life in your expense. Not only that, she did not even include you in her decision - she wants to use YOUR money to live large with her girl friend!?  You are not even in the picture!  Like others have pointed out, she is selfish, it's all about her.  I don't see how you do not see this fact.  Stop making excuses for her about how much she used to make, genuine story about how she lost her restaurant, etc.  So what?  None of those is relevant.  Man, she has the nerves to ask for more and you are still wanting to keep your words in giving her the $1,000?  Common now, stop ALL financial support but continue the relationship as normal and judge it from there.  I doubt it will develop much further.  Unless, you are too afraid of losing her, then you lie to yourself, continue to feed her greed to keep her happy.  If you want to keep her because of lust, then I can understand.  But that is clearly not your intention, you clearly love the girl. 

If what you HAVE already done for her is not enough for her to see that you are a keeper, then you should lose her quick and be happy that you lose her now rather than later.  Don't allow the poison of lust, which you think is love, spreads any deeper.

hELLnoi,I answered you already. You need to move around people, hang out with certain marginal groups, have friends in certain circles ..then maybe you will learn something like this too without being taken advantage of or burned.

One example: I got one of the best insight into drug scene because one of my relatives was one. I did not get taken advantage of. Drug addicts can be the best people,great to hang around until it is time they need fix. They share a lot of stuff with you, they are welcoming ...Similar can be for prostitutes,GFe's,gold diggers etc.I know many of them and they are not even hiding what they do. Like I mentioned already, when they don't see you as a possible source of income they become their usual cool self. They even pay for themselves or for party. Heck,I've probably had some free lunch paid by some guy sending monthly allowance to such girls

Also, read most of the posts here. Maybe they aren't as straightforward as mine but most came to the same conclusion.

hELLnoi wrote:

christine thuy wrote:

Problem is we dont know hELLnoi. we can be right AND can be wrong too.

But we are prosecuting her without knowing what NashCat chatted with her, and ready to send her to the gallows without even knowing who she is.

Yup, i may accuse her on my post. but hey, she is LIVING WITH HER PARENTS and we all know that in VN tradition,parents will take care of her and everything. She simply need to spend on her commodities and necessaries things without worrying ie: fuel, electricity ect...unless she has to take care of her parents and sibling too. but that most likely not the case. and now she moves out as his suggestion. in return, he will have to give her extra.
Agree with you that sharing a flat can be another source of income, but who will benefit from that source of income? because he stop inject the money, then she has another way to find the source. and a gain, who is her true friend? male or female? doubt on that.
Talking about living in gf house, yes, you can always stay at the girl house with the permission from parents. my hubby was used to stay in my house at weekend  and there was no problem with that. The different in culture is that in VN, you will have to go step by step. come to the girl house, get to know everybody and get the permission of her parents for dating her. (dating is already cited in another post). finally, guy can stay at girl house but in different room. i guess in western, you will apply the same rule. you wont want to see some guy walk out from your daughter room in the early morning and half naked without knowing who is he:)
In the beginning, they may come for love. since he give her money so easily, he wake up the greedy part in her. And now has to asking around whether she come from love or from what? we all dont know.

Roe_Amerasian wrote:

...I don't see how you do not see this fact.  Stop making excuses for her about how much she used to make, genuine story about how she lost her restaurant, etc.  So what?  None of those is relevant...

If what you HAVE already done for her is not enough for her to see that you are a keeper, then you should lose her quick and be happy that you lose her now rather than later.  Don't allow the poison of lust, which you think is love, spreads any deeper.

Sadly situations like this in general it's hard to see beyond the truth of everything the girl that we supposedly love says because we take everything at face value. It's only when a shock is induced that we can see more clearly and come to the realization that everything we've been told was a lie to achieve a purpose.

The girl knows how to push all the right buttons to satisfy our insecurities. She says she loves you, will tease you with her body and when you want more she will give you just enough to make you want to crave some more.

How can any lonely guy desperately seeking a soulmate see beyond the facts?

Tito12 wrote:

hELLnoi,I answered you already. you need to move around people, hang out with certain marginal groups, have friends in certain circles ..then maybe you will learn something like this too without being taken advantage of or burned.

One example: I got one of the best insight into drug scene becasue one of my relatives was one. I did not get taken advantage of. Drug addicts can be the best people,great to hang around until it is time they need fix. They share a lot of stuff with you, they are welcoming ...Similar can be for prostitutes,GFe's,gold diggers etc.I know many of them and they are not even hiding what they do.

Tito12, you don't know me yet you are trying to teach your grandpa to suck eggs.
I would definitely not appreciate someone labelling my girlfriend, wife-to-be, daughter a prostitute. More so from a bigot headed foreigner who don't appreciate the chance to come and earn a living.
However, I am glad you have a chance to venture out of your safe heaven and see the REAL UGLY world. Hopefully you have a story to tell to your grand children. Taiwan was no different 50 years ago!
Vietnam is not the bottom of the list. At least, the girls are doing what they do on their own free will(?)

hELLnoi,you might not appreciate it,who would? But the fact is a fact. Being in marriage does not mean that one party is not doing it for the money. I think it was you who mentioned Crystal Harris and Anna Nicole - were they anything else than just a prostitutes in different form? When a prostitute or GFE becomes a gf or wife she can still do it for the money, just long term.  I did not label his gf prostitute,I talked in general but as you can see lots of people came to conclusion that he is being taken for a ride. Would you prefer we call her scammer? Whatever you prefer. Some people have even said harsher words directly to him while I was talking more in general.

I've noticed you being very defensive even in threads where vast majority of people come to the same conclusion. Who knows,maybe you found all the signs with your gf or wife too and are refusing to see the truth. See khanh44's latest post,it might describe you perfectly. Indeed, how can any lonely guy desperately seeking a soulmate see beyond the facts? You see, I can make presumptions like you too..

All women get married for a wide variety of reasons, love, money, status, security...there are lots of reasons. In a recent poll in Vietnam they found that only 36% of married women between the ages of 18 to 65 got married because of love or were in love with their husband. This does not mean the wife doesn't respect her husband or is in any way disloyal to him.
The original post laid out a story that to some find it hard to believe and just the fact that he felt concerned enough to ask if anybody had stories like this tells me he has definite concerns as well.

Tito12 wrote:

hELLnoi,you might not appreciate it,who would? But the fact is a fact. Being in marriage does not mean that one party is not doing it for the money. I think it was you who mentioned Crystal Harris and Anna Nicole - were they anything else than just a prostitutes in different form? When a prostitute or GFE becomes a gf or wife she can still do it for the money, just long term.  I did not label his gf prostitute,I talked in general but as you can see lots of people came to conclusion that he is being taken for a ride. Would you prefer we call her scammer? Whatever you prefer. Some people have even said harsher words directly to him while I was talking more in general.

I've noticed you being very defensive even in threads where vast majority of people come to the same conclusion. Who knows,maybe you found all the signs with your gf or wife too and are refusing to see the truth. See khanh44's latest post,it might describe you perfectly. Indeed, how can any lonely guy desperately seeking a soulmate see beyond the facts? You see, I can make presumptions like you too..

Would you go to work tomorrow if you won't get paid?
We all prostitute different parts differently.

Wow! Now I am a desperate old lonely guy...
with plenty of bucks and a young Vietnamese wife.
Sorry, your PRESUMPTIONS are wrong.
I am being fed and housed by my Vietnamese wife.
Go figure...

.

Wow! Now I am a desperate old lonely guy...
with plenty of bucks and a young Vietnamese wife.
Sorry, your PRESUMPTIONS are wrong.
Go figure...

Just as your assumptions (which you even repeated twice) were If you believe that anything I said is not happening in SE Asia (quite often even) then just correct me with the facts.

Aks your heart...you still love her? I know when the people in love they want to bring the heaven for the lover...but let they do by themself..dont request...This case, she requests you for something..so for sure ur feeling is not good now.

You & her maybe spent a lot of time in love...Not easy to give up. Ussualy i never check anything in love...but in your story now..i think you need, you can tell her you have some trouble..cant support her at this time...and waiting what she will do & talk to you. After that you can decide.

Yuli

ancientpathos wrote:

AlexSarah wrote:

I'd happily talk to someone for $800USD  a month..

Can I write you a check from a closed bank account?

Haha, I'll have a think about it

Love blinds a person that's why a majority according to that recent poll married not for love and live together forever. Happy or not is debatable.

It's interesting Vietnam has 2nd lowest divorce rate only to Chile. Yes I can hear the clammering. There's a multitude of reasons why but for now Vietnam has a low divorce rate.

Divorce Rate

Crazy man!!!

Tito12 posted......Similar can be for prostitutes,GFe's,gold diggers etc.I know many of them and they are not even hiding what they do. Like I mentioned already, when they don't see you as a possible source of income they become their usual cool self. They even pay for themselves or for party. Heck,I've probably had some free lunch paid by some guy sending monthly allowance to such girls


I'm perplexed by your post: You have expressed in great and graphic detail such contempt for "prostitutes, GFe's, gold diggers etc." which also has included their parents and the BF's and yet you know "many of them"!!!! To add insult to injury you even party with them because they pay? Plus they buy you lunch with their ill gotten gains!!!! Since you are not a paying customer I guess they just give it to you for free and THAT's WHY you're so informed!! What a stud muffin you are!! Not to mention that you are a hypocrite and a mooch!!!  OMG what a loser!

I'll take $400 and you can donate the other $400 to whoever

jimbream wrote:

...We had our own house.The TOTAL cost for both of us including rent,electricity,etc. and food never went above 6mil.(300$) a month.

wow that gives me some inspiration that I can meet this $250 budget. She makes between 5 mil to 6 mil a month. We don't pay rent  just the utilities. Not much for gas as her sister usually drives her to work. We live in the suburbs outside Ho Chi Minh city so cost would be a bit less.

jimbream wrote:

ancientpathos wrote:

AlexSarah wrote:

I'd happily talk to someone for $800USD  a month..

Can I write you a check from a closed bank account?

Ha! Count me in.
Just going through these posts and I remember I lived with my ex for 2 years.We had our own house.The TOTAL cost for both of us including rent,electricity,etc. and food never went above 6mil.(300$) a month.
And here's this guy giving his lady friend 800$ a month.He could support 3 lady friends for that price!

Pretty sure I could find some friends and we would split the money..

You're in a fortunate position.
Rent is a killer of income.Especially in today's greedy market.

Tito12 wrote:

Wow! Now I am a desperate old lonely guy...
with plenty of bucks and a young Vietnamese wife.
Sorry, your PRESUMPTIONS are wrong.
Go figure...

Just as your assumptions (which you even repeated twice) were If you believe that anything I said is not happening in SE Asia (quite often even) then just correct me with the facts.

By SE Asia i hope you're referring to the sex workers in Pattaya, Patpong, downtown Manila etc.

There are parts of South East Asia which are highly developed on par or even surpassing western countries so to label it a SE Asian problem is highly innacurate.

Hell even in Vietnam the majority of women i've met are highly principled and honest even though they are struggling financially. Lets not label all of them as gold diggers or love scammers because of the actions of a few bad apples.

Adrian_79 wrote:

Hell even in Vietnam the majority of women i've met are highly principled and honest even though they are struggling financially. Lets not label all of them as gold diggers or love scammers because of the actions of a few bad apples.

Go back to the beginning of the post.
I am very astonished when an educated westerner cast such sweeping statements on ALL Vietnamese females!
Thus insulting even your wife.
Few of us have ever experienced the horrors of war and how it robs  generations. This is the first peace time generation where the females are allowed finish schooling.

Too many people get stuck on the amount of monthly support I give her. The amount is small proportion to my diposable income and is about the same as her income level beforehand.  I am starting to think there are too many poor people replying to this post and have no concept of money is relative. And yes, I do know the average wage of a vietnamese worker. Being said that, would your thoughts  and comments be different if I said the monthly support is $100?

khanh44 wrote:

wow that gives me some inspiration that I can meet this $250 budget. She makes between 5 mil to 6 mil a month. We don't pay rent  just the utilities. Not much for gas as her sister usually drives her to work. We live in the suburbs outside Ho Chi Minh city so cost would be a bit less.

I don't mean to be nosey, but why don't you teach English? I have heard that brings in some decent money.

NashCat wrote:

Too many people get stuck on the amount of monthly support I give her. The amount is small proportion to my diposable income and is about the same as her income level beforehand.  I am starting to think there are too many poor people replying to this post and have no concept of money is relative. And yes, I do know the average wage of a vietnamese worker. Being said that, would your thoughts  and comments be different if I said the monthly support is $100?

don't compare the office staff and a worker.her income 800 while mine now is 1000+ and I'm not managerial level. lots of my friends can earn about 2-3 times that amount so don't mistaken between a normal person and a well educated one.
you come to have a question and we all give you the answer.sorry if that answer offense your gf but that are most likely what they experience in vn.

Solo1: relax granpa,it's not good to be so upset in the SEVENTH decade of your life. Maybe sweet lovemaking to your gf in 60ties..no..50ties..no..40ties..no..30ties..no..20ties(!) can help you relax? I'm not the one chasing girls barely in 20ties in my seventh decade of life. I'd love to know what qualities she sees in you that are not of financial nature and what qualities you see in this kid that you are unable to see in women even half your age,let alone your age? Who's the real loser here?

You can hang out with people even though you don't respect what they do for a living. It's all about being honest in what they do and that they do not pretend.I respect this quality.  I even told you that I have some respect for regular prostitutes because at least they are honest about what they do. If you go out with a large group of people there is bound to be some girl in it that is getting sponsored by some guy and when she contributes to party she is using his money,that's what I meant with free lunch. Yes, I know many of them,it is inevitable to not meet them if you stay here. I do not respect what they do but so what?

I am very astonished when an educated westerner cast such sweeping statements on ALL Vietnamese females!Thus insulting even your wife.

Sorry but I do not do this. I only comment the females that do such things.The women that I talk about fall into this category. Sometimes we all use generalizing statements,you can't drive a point without it. I agree with Adrian_79 ,it is just some percentage (larger than west though) who are like this. I do not need to comment good women, there is nothing to be worried about them,no advice or precautions are needed.There are plenty of good women here. I have not said a single thing about his wife,do not put your words in my mouth.

Oh and let me quote your own sentence again,who is making generalizing statements now? Did you see me commenting to anyone with a Thai wife that you are saying their wife is a pro at extracting money from them?

solo1: I found the Thai women to be the most experienced and proficient at absconding money from men.

Tito12 wrote:

Solo1: relax granpa,it's not good to be so upset in the SEVENTH decade of your life. Maybe sweet lovemaking to your gf in 60ties..no..50ties..no..40ties..no..30ties..no..20ties(!) can help you relax? I'm not the one chasing girls barely in 20ties in my seventh decade of life. I'd love to know what qualities she sees in you that are not of financial nature and what qualities you see in this kid that you are unable to see in women even half your age,let alone your age? Who's the real loser here?

You can hang out with people even though you don't respect what they do for a living. It's all about being honest in what they do and that they do not pretend.I respect this quality.  I even told you that I have some respect for regular prostitutes because at least they are honest about what they do. If you go out with a large group of people there is bound to be some girl in it that is getting sponsored by some guy and when she contributes to party she is using his money,that's what I meant with free lunch. Yes, I know many of them,it is inevitable to not meet them if you stay here. I do not respect what they do but so what?

I am very astonished when an educated westerner cast such sweeping statements on ALL Vietnamese females!

Sorry but I do not do this. I only comment the females that do such things.The women that I talk about fall into this category. Sometimes we all use generalizing statements,you can't drive a point without it. I agree with Adrian_79 ,it is just some percentage (larger than west though) who are like this. I do not need to comment good women, there is nothing to be worried about them,no advice or precautions are needed.There are plenty or good women here. I have not said a single thing about his wife,do not put your words in my mouth.

Oh and let me quote your own sentence again,who is making generalizing statements now? Did you see me commenting to anyone with a Thai wife that you are saying their wife is a pro at extracting money from them?

solo1: I found the Thai women to be the most experienced and proficient at absconding money from men.

Ha Ha Ha Just more of your erroneous BS!! I am so glad that you have exposed yourself so early in your posts. What an Ahole you are!

NashCat wrote:

Too many people get stuck on the amount of monthly support I give her. The amount is small proportion to my diposable income and is about the same as her income level beforehand.  I am starting to think there are too many poor people replying to this post and have no concept of money is relative. And yes, I do know the average wage of a vietnamese worker. Being said that, would your thoughts  and comments be different if I said the monthly support is $100?

NashCat, you're giving contradicting information, and not being very nice to people who're giving you the advice you asked for. What is it that bothered you in the first place, compelling you to came here and asked the question?

Is it the amount of money? Clearly not, according to this post. Then it doesn't matter if it's $100 or $800 or if she's asking for a couple of hundred bucks more. (But then I'm curious as to why you even felt the need to tell us the amount).

Is it about giving your girlfriend money? Then you already violated that principle out of your own volition. If you want to get that principle back, then stop sending her money, like people have said so many times already. What's so complicated to see here?

If you came to seek confirmation that all is well with your gf and that you two will be happy ever after, say so in your original post, and I'm sure some people here will be kind enough to entertain you.

If you want truthful answers, then suck it up when people tell you what they think. Sure some people have called your gf names, but others don't and are being very respectful to your situation.

Now, to your question, yes it'd make a huge difference to me if the amount was $100. As proud as I am, I know that if I took a couple of wrong steps and lost everything, I'd appreciate some help while trying to get myself back to track. Put yourself in the situation. Say if you were in the situation, went from making 6k/month to nothing, and your millionaire gf offered to help, no strings attached. Would you take:
- 3k/month because that's what the average person makes in Canada?
- 1.5k/month because you really shouldn't be spending much money, plus you've already moved back with your folks?
- 6k/month because that's what you used to make and you deserve it now
- 6k/month, and then asking for a couple of grands more, for whatever reason?

NashCat wrote:

Too many people get stuck on the amount of monthly support I give her. The amount is small proportion to my diposable income and is about the same as her income level beforehand.  I am starting to think there are too many poor people replying to this post and have no concept of money is relative. And yes, I do know the average wage of a vietnamese worker. Being said that, would your thoughts  and comments be different if I said the monthly support is $100?

Look dude no ones stopping you from giving her whatever amount you wish. Its all a matter of trust. If you trusted her you wouldnt have made a post asking for advise when she wanted an increase in her allowance. Not a big fan of online dating so maybe im a little biased but from what you posted it sure did raise alot of red flags.

On a personal note when we and my wife were dating her bridal boutique was experiencing a rough patch but never once did she ask for an allowance. On one occasion she even sold some of her old jewelry that she bought with her hard earned cash so that she'd have enough money to treat me when i visited her in Vietnam (we were both working in different countries). I only found out later when i questioned her as i noticed it was gone.

Im not a multi-millionaire but im not broke either so when i did settle down here i bought her a couple of new apartments and placed a chunk of the deposits in her name. I trust her 100% with them. Anyway what im trying to say is this. Dont spoil her even if you can afford to. Take some time to get to know her true colors and only then when you feel confident enough shower her with gifts because Vietnamese women can be the best thing that happen to you or it could be the very worst.

Btw this thread is starting to resemble a tabloidish love advice column lol

solo1,ok,I'm gonna tone this down: I stayed completely on topic in this thread until your reply.Please reread the replies again, some are much more direct and insulting. You have lived in 25+ countries and no matter how small the percentage of women are like this you came to your own conclusions about women,you even generalized and  singled out Thai women as the worst (or most effective) when it comes to absconding money from men. It's not coincidence that we both came to conclusion that this happens most often in some SE Asia countries so you know I am right on most of the things I say when it comes to behavior,honesty and mentality of certain kind (and NOT all) of women or expats in SE Asia. I have no doubt (you said it yourself) you have lots of experience in short or long term relationships or some other forms of arrangements.  You have your own opinions about such women I am sure. We all have. You generalized about Thai women, I generalized about SE Asian women although we both didn't mean to say they are all like this. Just the certain part of this population.

It is a known fact that a person indulging in a certain activities/relationships is more tolerant to these activities/relationships. You draw the line here, I draw the line there. What upset you was that I draw the line in a place that apparently includes your kind of relationship. For you this form of partnership is completely legit relationship,for me it falls in different category. Maybe when I'm much older and maybe even doing the same thing but not now.

NashCat,you are being (illogically) defensive and it is completely  normal when the indication or realization comes that it is not as it seems with your loved one. It's ok to be skeptical of what other people say but be careful for denial to not take over despite the signs that something is off being there.

jakejas wrote:

I don't mean to be nosey, but why don't you teach English? I have heard that brings in some decent money.

I might do some private tutoring for side money. I have 4 negatives working against me.

I left Vietnam at age of 1 but I still have an accent. Secondly I'm Vietnamese so asian looking. Thirdly I have no post-secondary education other than my private IT diploma. And I have no experience teaching.

But no worries I'm still building equity without working. Just want to keep myself on a Vietnamese budget.

khanh44 wrote:

Just want to keep myself on a Vietnamese budget.

Good plan; my wife and I use the same technique. The easiest way to become rich is to spend less than you make.

jakejas wrote:

khanh44 wrote:

Just want to keep myself on a Vietnamese budget.

Good plan; my wife and I use the same technique. The easiest way to become rich is to spend less than you make.

lol, ironically that's the motto for my blog which I haven't created yet. Spend less earn more.

I LOVE personal finance blogs. Let me know if you get it up and running and I will subscribe.

Tito12

Wrong again oh curt one. What "upset" me is your arrogance and sea gull approach (fly in, shit all over everyone and fly out) on this forum with me and other members. You came on like gangbusters calling me a creep and my gf a prostitute of which you had less respect for her than you do for bar girls and street whores who p4p. You even had the gaul to include my gf's parents in your rant. Not to mention you threaten to punch me in the nose.  Of which you have continued this onslaught with vim and vigor with me AND other members here. I am not the only member to tell you to BACK OFF!! You exaggerate to the ninth degree, criticize and demean for no reason while expounding on your lengthy diatribe.

Everyone has their own opinion but you are rude and crude while justifying it with "well i don't sugar coat it". Point of fact being simply that you are a bullying troll on this forum. I for one will not tolerate your actions nor your false justifications.

Nashcat, can we start talking online now? Cannot wait to get easy money asap!! Lol... (J/k!!)

Anyway, to me it is clear that you are taken advantage by her. She's using you.
But it seems you like her alot and you're making up excuses to defend her (resto biz, etc) when people in this forum think differently than you about her after they gave their advices/thoughts.

Nashcat, there are people out there who gets into relationship with people who always do everything for them, perhaps you're one of them. But you'll get to see who she really is when you stop sending her money.
You'll know the reason why she's still in touch with you. Love or Money.

Basically, what I'm trying to say here is If you're happy taking care of her by sending more and more cash, then it's fine. It's your life, it's your money. But you're obviously NOT because you brought this up here for an advice.

Good luck!

NashCat wrote:

Too many people get stuck on the amount of monthly support I give her. The amount is small proportion to my diposable income and is about the same as her income level beforehand.  I am starting to think there are too many poor people replying to this post and have no concept of money is relative. And yes, I do know the average wage of a vietnamese worker. Being said that, would your thoughts  and comments be different if I said the monthly support is $100?

The fact that she is asking for more after the amount u r giving her already should make u wonder.
If u really love her and u have unlimited cash for her and you could see yourself being happy with her, go for it.
Just remember, if something smells fishy, its not the nuoc mam in her blood.

No Money, No Honey.

Put this to the test !