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I met an Algerian Man

Hello Marieomk
   How lovely to read a story with so much positivity,I am genuinely happy for you both...
If you decide to come here to dz,there is a large community of ex-pats(Muslim& non Muslim) from all over the world..quite a few Americans here too!! Most of us are married to our wonderful Algerian husbands Alhamdulillah...if you decide to come and would like to get in touch,feel free to pm me..Susan..

hi
I am from Philippine married to Algerian and recently living here. i was reading your comment about algerian and make me confused because i actually the same situation of Miss Shanaz. but first we met in dubai and having a baby boy there before we dicided to get married and now we are living here  in Algeria quietly and happy life. i only want to tell you maybe not all of them are the same attitude. we are 4 years living together and i never see any changes of him. i hope so and inchallah nothing will change.

I love my Algerian guy too ❤️👍🏻

Yes, mine is altogether heart and soul, very rare. ♡

Deep love is enough. Love can help people shuttle Millennium.
:heart:  :heart:  :heart:  :heart:  :heart:  :heart:  :heart:
There is love, you can withstand wind and rain.
Similarly, the prefab house is the same.

Hi HebeiBaofeng,

Thank you for the encouraging response....however it is taking nearly 5 years now for him to come and meet me here...in my country.....am we are still hoping we will soon meet our goal.

I go to meet my love in Algeria in 8 days
I'm super excited , will be the first time that we are meeting  :heart: xx

Happy for you, I hope that your relationship will work and last . good luck

thank you Roz

I can't believe it's only 4 days till I travel
Nerves and excitment are kicking in  :heart:

hi hun
Did you travel to Algeria? I have not been on here for a while and saw your post about going there in April 2016?
xxx

Hi Hun yes I did , I'm due back in 6 weeks also :) xx

I would like to tell you all that since i have posted this thread until now....me and my algerian guy nothing has moved not a single bit. status quo !......it will almost 6 long damn years since we met and he is still saying this year ....this year...this...year.......I really really determined to give him a real big kick. Cause he is doing nothing for us. His parents is not aware until now.....he is not making any move. For the last year he is has been working in the south in the dessert to get money hopefully we could move on. But now he is will quit that job and trying to start tiny small business in another region of the country. But trust me i'm alll sooooooo tried with each and everytime a new episode whereby i have to be here...listening to his long boring stories.....support him in the damn dessert and now he is back in his village for a month of holidays he don't have much time for me....he has to go out with his friends...families to visit.....he got time only in the middle of the night to talk to me.........I have asked him a few time ...what you are going to do...how will we proceed...what is the next plan...when will you introduce me with your parents......do you have enough money to start the administrative papers.......but everytime it ends up like as if i am pushing me and i always get the reply like it will happen ....it will happen...........and now i am seriously very pissed off with this guy....i have showed toooooooooo loads too much of patience and tolerence....and this i am gonna do it differently ...i am not gonna say any anything and but slowly gradually back off......can anybody tell me something about this....i'm sick and tired with this guy......

Time to say goodbye and start a new life without him.

I agree,I really think you need to start life without him,you have wasted so many yrs waiting and waiting...time to move on...the fact he will only talk to you in middle of night says it all for me!!

Shenaz921 :

can anybody tell me something about this....i'm sick and tired with this guy......

Hi Shenaz921,

Can anyone tell you something about it? Well I did tell you something about it  - Actually lots about it! You asked me about my thoughts, I gave it to you! Over a year ago - May 2015.

Here was a few of your replies to my advice:

Shenaz921 :

Thank you for the reply XB23, I truly appreciate, you help me to see things through different angles.

Following further advice and attempts to get you to end the relationship, despite facing insults and attacks from members:

Shenaz921 :

thanks for those views XB23 your post makes sense to me

I carried on advising you no matter what people said about my advice. I wanted you to end it, as I felt you were wasting your time. It seems you were willing to give him more time to change. I didn't think he would change.

I told you last year:

If you haven't already told him, then you need to tell him about exactly how you feel, that you're quite tired, and want to see some action, and progress. If he doesn't change, for how long are you going to continue in this...time doesn't wait.

You've given him another year. Nothing has changed (which was expected!). Are you going to give him another year again? And a year after? I'm not sure what you're waiting for... a miracle? That he will change? He's had six years to do that. If you think listening to "his long boring stories" is bad enough, well I think waiting 6 years for someone to take responsibility is VERY BORING INDEED. Six goddamn years of long boring stories. You're one very patient person. Or the stories aren't that boring after all if he's kept you listening for that long.

On a side note, in general, in that culture, they will not appreciate their partners discussing the relationship with people. It's supposed to be kept strictly private between them. And to give an appearance that all is well to others, even if it's terrible. If he found this thread, this storyteller will not be a very happy man. My advice would be to simply tell him everything you say here, instead of us.

Hello XB23

Thank you for you reply. rest assured that on several occasion i have seriously told him about what i expected to see happening or else i back off. But he kept on insisting and he will make it through.

I am giving a chance to change or to prove his words .............yeah boring stories........

Shenaz921 :

Hello XB23

Thank you for you reply. rest assured that on several occasion i have seriously told him about what i expected to see happening or else i back off. But he kept on insisting and he will make it through.

I am giving a chance to change or to prove his words .............yeah boring stories........

Hi,

I'm no expert in relationships, but I do believe that all relationships need patience, and compromise. So you did the right thing at the start, giving him plenty of chances. That's a good thing which we can't fault. But then it gets to the point where you're doing the wrong thing. Which is giving him too many chances. As we know in general, too much of anything is usually bad for you. In this case, you ended up wasting a number of years with him. There has got to be a point, a date, or something, at which you decide if nothing has happened by then, it's over. At the moment, it appears there is no end date, and because of that, it will continue the way it has. Handing someone chance after chance for six years, gives the impression that you're 'desperate'. He might think that, and therefore not take your threats of leaving him seriously. So for the sake of your pride & dignity, do something about this.

On the other hand, I understand it's difficult to let go of something we've invested a lot of time and/or money on. But if a business isn't going anywhere, loss after loss no matter how much we invest in it, what does someone do? Continue to invest in it, or cut their losses and do something else? I can sympathize with your situation. As I've invested my time in things, and didn't let go of it when I should have, hoping that one day the situation will turn around, and that my patience & investment will finally pay off. However the longer you allow this to continue, the harder it will be to let go, and the more you will think that if you let go, you have wasted your time for nothing, and that there was a possibility he was about to change. It's difficult to let go, as that means accepting it was a waste of time. None of us want six years of time investment to be a waste. But think about it, if you are waiting for six years just for something simple to happen, how long are you going to wait for something more difficult to happen? 10 years? You will end up wasting even more time. This person has already proved to you that nothing gets done with him, apart from excuses after excuses. He's had more than enough time to do something. Is this what you want...a life of excuses and boring stories. Life is too short for this. So cut your losses, accept it didn't work out no matter how hard this is, let go, don't dwell on the what could have been if you gave him more time, and invest your time elsewhere. Time is the most precious thing we have. Use it wisely.

I wish you the best.

Hello, after 6 years of long distance with my algerian man, he has eventually introduce me to his family , mum, sister & brother in law. He is currently preparing his papers to send to me then obviously will come down to my country to get married.

As part of the marriage procedure, In my country a foreigner needs to show a minimum of $1500 with him when he comes and also he needs to provide a few other piece of papers. Well, He has managed to get this amount  which is fine.  And for the other papers they are  currently being processed. which is so far ok.

And the plan will have to stay in my place....etc....which is again ok, coz will be getting married as soon as he comes.  He is planning to come this Decemeber...meaning in 2 months.

But ...but the thing that freaks me out and I am feeling a little bit weird when he asked me to help him to pay his flight ticket, he does not have money to pay the flight ticket Saying that he will refund me with the money that he will bring along with him.

Knowing that my financial situations is not that very comfortable he still asked me....so i am really confused about this. Should i consider this a s red flag....

Can anyone shares your views please. urgent...

Hello Shenaz
       Can I ask did you come to Algiers to meet his family or did they come to you?? or on-line?
Well the fact he found the money to support himself when he comes to your country is great but I am little dubious of the fact that he wants you to help him with his plane fare...
I think no matter what advice we give you,when you are in love and have put so many years into getting this man into your country,all advice will be,well,overlooked... I just hope and pray that he is genuine and has only the best intentions for you...please keep in contact with us,InshAllah we shall here only good news...xx

HI, I did a skype with his mum . The number of years does not determined that I should inevitably settle down with him. Yes we have been in a long distance relationship for long time with him but that does not mean i can go blindly even if i find something which is doubtful.

YES IT IS A RED FLAG! and it is a bright one too! What kind of man travelling to marry you but ask you to pay for it? Doesn't make sense to me at all..

Hi Shenaz
Sorry for my bad English.
In your first message you says: <<I met an Algerian man will be nearly two years now and we are seriously in love with each other. we communicate everyday
Shenaz921 05 May 2013 16:45:36>>

If I understand, it’s more than 5years you communicate everyday and still you have doubts.
I think it’s better to meet together face to face, ask him to join you in Dubai, ticket its cheap from Algeria to Dubai on Air Algeria and  its cost around Euro300
You can meet him in Dubai for 1week, and then you can make your final decision.
Don’t promise him something you can’t do it, to be honest with him.

Hi Abdel thanks for the reply...yes it is 6 years we are holding on this relationship. you know number of years does clear out the doubts as long as we are not under the same roof nor in the same environment. We are far from each other...we talked on the phone...we do skype are not enough to know someone.....the proof is  when he asked for me to help him for his ticket it really sound very. weird to me....what kind of man will go to marry a woman and ask the woman to help him financially....!!!

The idea of meeting somewhere  he is not agreeable to this because he does not want to waste time and money like this....

Shenaz921 :

The idea of meeting somewhere  he is not agreeable to this because he does not want to waste time and money like this....

Besides he wants you to pay his ticket, he's not into meeting at forehand because he's greedy?
What kind of a man is he?
So,  he thinks that 1500$ in the hand is enough to marry you and a ticket to enter the country?

What has he done the last six years to save just 1500?

Definitely a very huge red flag you can't ignore.

Yes for the six years he has been working here and there which seems that he has been able to save $ 1500 (which is the required minimum as per the law in my country). He is  not bringing more than that. Requesting me to help him for his ticket and obviously i refused and now he is seeking financial help from his close family to borrow him some money. I still did not agree with that coz to me it does seems too cheap for a man to whom i will marry.

And on top of that he got the gut to be furious against me saying that I am questioning the  dignity of his manhood.............

Should i consider this as a normal thing that he is actually borrowing money to come and marry me...?

Where did i go wrong in asking to work some more months get his OWN money ?

Bocoz the way he is talking to me as if i am the one to be blame for refusing him to borrow money....

6 years to eventually come this .......strange man !!

Dear Shenaz,
Its not strong man, its strong history.
I am Algerian living in Mauritius since 2003,
Mauritius is beautiful country, paradise.........., yes it is but to enjoy  your life in Mauritius as foreigner your revenue must be minimum Euro1000 = Rs40000 , basic salary in Mauritius around Rs10.000.
You have to be honest with your fiance, tell him about your current financial situation, salary, where to say after get married..........
if you he is  not satisfy and still have doubt about him , its better to forget him and don't take risk.
you have wasted more than  6years waiting and waiting
Hop you understand.

I have very direct and honest with him...he knows exactly my financial situation... ou know Abdel working in mauritius, the work law states that every employee is entitled to get an salary, the end of year bonus...He has even asked to use that money use that money to help him....And on top of that for him it is something quite normal...he has no hesitation in doing such request..............!!!

Never send money or pay ticket for someone you don’t know him.
To pay his ticket, it’s better to allow him 6 months more, if he really loves you, he will find any job to pay his ticket, if nothing happen after 6 months then forget him and enjoy your life.

He is seeking financial help from his close family to buy that ticket.
That is very normal to do so in the Arab world. It is seems also very normal to blame every one except himself for the situation where he is. Personally I don't know many men who take the responsible for their own actions.
It is also very common in the Arab world that the man is financial responsible for his family, in your case: you!!! And it seems to me that he is not capable to do so.
And what happen next? He's expecting that he can live on your salary which is apparently not sufficient on the long run. And he will ask you to pay them back the ticket as he has no work and no income.

I still can not believe that he managed to  save only 1500 dollar and nothing more in the past six years.
I know people who are poor and with some cleaver savings, they saved more than your man did.

Girl, i will say this to you: run and run fast as your legs can carry you from this uh....

He's totally not worth it!!!!

Even if this a normal thing in the arab world to ask for money ....it does not make any sense to me that my man will have to borrow money to pay his ticket to come and marry me....!!!!  That's makes me feel cheap !!!

Anyways you are right.......also i have seen the other side of him through this and this is more than enough to decide further...

Exactly! !!!

Dear Shenaz,
I see your post ( I met an Algerian ) have 471 replies and reached more than 75000 viewers since 2013.
Maybe you got 1 Algerian asking you to pay his ticket but not all Arab.
Anyone can post on forum his history and say as hi wish.
Shenaz, How to prove all you says is true, What if your objective?
If you have doubt forget him and don't take risk.
There is bad and good people around the world.

Dear Shenaz,
Why you have changed your profile name from : shenaz921 to Cintillass
Last year you have posted from    another forum and  you says:  already married to an Algerian man and on this forum you say: we talk on the phone and skype since 6years.
Why every time you post strange history about Algerian man.
What is your objective.
I think all people participating on this topic:( I meet an algerian man) must know your true story.
sorry for my bad English.
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http://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=542413
Wife leaving Algeria Alone
Cintillass
08 November 2015 15:04:50
I am a foreigner married to an Algerian man outside Algeria. He brought me to Algeria. Now I wish to leave Algeria alone. I need to know if I am free to leave the country ALONE. Or is there any kind of administrative restriction upon me that prohibit me to leave the Algerian land without my husband. Can somebody clarifies me on that specific point.
Thanks
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