I've been living in Malta for seven months now, and I find that the reputation of drivers in Malta is well-deserved. It's pretty close to anarchy on the roads.
Several acquaintances have made the decision to forego driving and stick to public transport. It's a tough choice, but public transport being what it is, I decided to persevere.
I've been jotting down what I think are the real rules of the road - the ones drivers work with, but not the ones in the rule books. I'm sure that other drivers will have some extra 'unwritten rules' to add to the list - which I welcome.
Here are a few to get things started:
• Paint on the roads is just for decoration. Solid lines, double lines, median strips, zebra crossings are just to make the tarmac look pretty, and serve no identifiable purpose.
• Driving on the left is preferable, except where driving on the right is more convenient.
• One way systems are not compulsory if you have a resident's permit.
• Indicators are optional. They are often exchanged for Maltese number plates.
• Double parking is normal. When double parking in a roundabout, at night, please keep a light on.
• Triple parking is permitted if you need to use an ATM, buy vegetables from a street vendor or pick up a pizza.
• When two or more vehicles meet head-on in a narrow, single lane road, the driver with the lowest IQ has right of way.
• Road signs that are in English are only for the benefit of foreigners – that includes speed signs.
• The rule of thumb for roundabouts is “who dares wins”.
Do you have one to add??
Unwritten Rules of the Road
Seat belts should only be fitted once you are moving.
Two hands should never be used for controlling the vehicle, one hand must be free to use phone, eat or pick nose.
Drive as close to the vehicle in front as possible, that way you use less fuel!
Never look both ways at a junction just pull out regardless, then slow right down.
Terry (still thinking).
Sounds simpatico.
never use your lights - save your electric.
... and as soon as you become familiar with and obey those rules, driving in Malta is pretty cool :-)
if you plan to drive through the traffic lights and once got the green light (usually it means GO!) then do not go - first wait for the idiots who will go on the full speed from the side street, thinking 'they will make it', and bear in mind that even if they happen to hit your car, it will still be your fault according to them.
"Driving on the left is preferable, except where driving on the right is more convenient."
NO NO NO - absolutely WRONG!!!
You don't drive on the left, nor do you drive on the right - YOU DRIVE IN THE SHADE!!!!!
tut tut tut - where was he brung up I wonder????
- Stop and Give Way signs mean that you have the right of way.
- Never occupy just one parking bay. If there are no parking bays, make sure you leave ample space in front and behind your car. A rule of thumb: three cars should occupy the space of five cars.
- If you are involved in a minor back-to-front accident, do not fill in the appropriate form, do not move your car, and walk to and fro across the road while you call all the people in you mobile phone's address book.
- It is considered selfish to enjoy your own music. Pump up the volume so that you entertain the other road users.
- You have the right to vandalise all those cars that park in front of your door.
- Keep you car tidy. Throw anything you don't need (such as cigarette butts, plastic bottles, wrappers, etc) out of the window.
- Seat belts may be removed up to 500m from your final destination.
- The only purpose of No Entry signs next to schools is to decorate the poles they are affixed to.
- When approaching a speed camera hit the brakes abruptly and do not exceed 15km/h. When you feel you are out of the camera's range, step on in, preferable, burning some rubber in the process.
(The list goes on and on)
Driving under the influences is optional.
Hi Charlo,
thanks for your insider tips!
Some are hard to understand but as I'm trying to adapt to the Maltese way of doing things ......I'll try !
I'm always learning.
Cheers
Ricky
SunshineLover2011 wrote:Driving under the influences is optional.
......unless when in Paceville when it becomes mandatory 
Always wheel spin as much as possible this will leave plenty of rubber down for speeding at a later date..
but after all these comments, please try to understand THIS IS MALTS..
abhinav wrote:http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20130320/local/Malta-has-safest-roads-in-the-EU.462214
The reason seems obvious:
Malta has held the enviable record in this area particularly because it has no highways and due to its small road network, where speed is under ‘natural' control.
Malta also ranks well in fatalities per km which is probably a more fair way to measure this (and also ranks well in fatalities per vehicle):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_co … death_rate
at the beginning, it was tricky and confused. Now, I anticipate the non sense Maltese driving on the roads.
Although Maltese roads are nothing for cowards, THOUSANDS of old (sometimes very old 
) people, mothers with little children and also pretty young (18 or less 
) boys and girls are evidence every day, that driving in Malta is rather habit than horror 
A '5 seater' car can fit at least 6 people in it, more if the people are children! I often see a woman on the school run driving with 2 kids in the front seat, and 6 kids in the back:(
never get behind the wheel of a car unless you are capable of driving with one arm out of the window, whilst phoning, texting, smoking, drinking cisk, eating pastizzi and chatting to other car drivers on the opposite flow of traffic
Great to see the rule book filling up. Here's another of my favourites:
When approaching a T-junction, slow down (no need to actually stop), look right, then pull out anyway.
Don't worry all ...Malta is not the worst ...for the future if you visit sicily and come back to malta ...you will love the maltese way of driving...Sicily is much worse ...therefore good luck
Giuseppina from sicily
I've been driving in Malta for two months and I absolutely love it! It's like a competition keeping my brain alive? 'It's not the winning it's the taking part?' 
Malta is not so bad. There are some idiots on the roads but it happens everywhere.
BTW - On my way here Rome and Naples were much worse.
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