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How does a native Philippine Survive ?

I have a friend in Davao, I me and became Pen Pals with some six years ago.

She is middle aged, separated for years and receives no support from ex husband  and has two daughters and two sons,

One daughter lives in Dubai, and my friend has her two daughters there in Davao, . .
the other daughter is in Manila, and has one yr old with her and his 3 yr old brother there in Davao with my friend, . .

Another Son 23 lives with her most of the time and has no job to speak of there in 2 years I know of, the remaining son will be in 7th grade.

At one time, a year ago,  she has a job where she works in a small night club, making 200 pesos a night, 8 or more hours, six days a week.1,200 pesos a week, that would be 4,800 pesos a month.

I told her to quit the job because the children need her at home.So I have been helping her.

I'd like to know how does the Philippine Society expect a woman to survive there, as her cost of living is around 32,000 pesos a month, that is about 29,200 pesos that she needs above the average weekly pay there.

I'd appreciate if you can give me some general knowledge about what goes on there, Is there work for the son there in Davao ?

I doubt she has an ex husband, for there is no divorce in the Philippines.  32,000 pesos is quite high for monthly needs since school teachers make about 40% of that a month and are considered right at the poverty line.  Many live on 10,000 pesos.  Not much work available for unskilled labor, with wages like her nightclub work, few hundred pesos a day.  A pen pal for 6 years?  How does she afford stamps, pens, paper?  Are you ready to send $800/month to rescue her?  You should visit her  and get a feel for her and the situation before spending that kind of money on someone you never met.  Good luck in your heartfelt efforts.

Thanks I appreciate your reply, I hope you can stick around to help me out a little more.
I said ex-husband I meant she is separated, . and receives no support.
She emails me, I bought her a computer last year.
Sorry I think these figures are about right.

Rent             2,500 pesos
Water            1,800 pesos
Internet         1,000 pesos
lights           500 pesos
Miscl. Bills     1,000 pesos
Food            12,000


TOTAL           18,800       

Does that seem about right?

Even that is really hard to believe there is so little work for natives there, that the Government can not help them at all.

If I had the money to come there I would. I am retired but willing to work to make enough to come.

Sounds more realistic, except 12,000 might be high for food if you buy large quantities of rice to feed everyone.  Unfortunately many families cannot afford to eat much more than rice, fruit and vegetables.  Life is harder than the poorest in Philly or Camden.

Thanks again, . . .
the 1,200 represents around $75 U.S. a week, by this I mean at least 50 U.S. a week for rice coffee sugar viand, and milk for the 4 kids and I added $25 U.S. for possible fruit which seems rare or expensive and occasional medicine.

Anyway your right it is a hard life for these people and the future seems to have little or very poor opportunity to improve.

My maid is paid 550 per day and currently works only 2 days a week. So about 6000 per month.  She has two kids and is able to support her family. Husband took off some time ago. It is very difficult for many to get by.

Well maybe you made a small mistake 550 a day x 2 is 1,110, x 4
is 4,400 / 40 ps = 110 US

My friend there as I said has the 4 kids rent and utilities,

but could hardly live on 4,400 pesos a month.

Yes things are hard there, . and I wish there could be something done.

Here in the U.S. my experience leads me to believe that those who get into power want to stay there and do it by riding over the people by preying on there problems, life is getting worse because
people are oppressed.

The National debt and unemployment here assures the government that
the manpower feeds their military machine, and keeps them in power.

It is a shame the abuse that people take, as my friend says the bad ones seem to do good, and the good ones seem to do badly.

There are many reasons for the poverty in the Philippines, such as the exploding population while the church and govt oppose free birth control for the poor, a lack of natural resources, and the destructive weather to name a few.  None of these be changing any time soon.

Hi Jove
u will never understand the poverty untill u see it, native filipinos as u call them live on the smell of food
but working Filipinos live on small amount too, my brother inlaw
only earns 10,000p per mth from his job, he, his wife and 2 kids exist on that but not any luxuries like fridge.
basicly the stable diet is rice which is 30p per kg put sum cheap local vegies with that u have a meal for 4 for 60p
the real poor live in bamboo and bark huts with dirt floor no running water or electricity cook on wood fire but they still breed like rabbits cause they are catholic, and birth controll is forbitten
Pete

Have just come back from Philippines and spent two months there.Lived mainly with the locals and also lived in a nipa hut in Bohol.Several persons i spoke with earn very little.One is a teacher and gets 5000peso,another a nurse at a clinic gets 6500 peso.So the money that this lady is now getting is far too much.Or maybe you are just being too generous.Either way she is now living a very good life.

P12,000.00 is vey huge, you must really get into your nerve and investigates. i am a native filipino, and i have a big family, 10,000 is enuf for all of us including all the bills.

Hi Jove,

    You seem like a good person, and I'm not sure what relationship you have with this person, I'm sure it's one built on trust and she's a very genuine person. However as a fellow American I would strongly advise you invest a small amount of money into a private eye company to do some research on her. Many Pinay's prey on foreigners, and have many men supporting them from all over the world.

    Dropping a couple bills to do a little research on her might save you a lot of heartache in the future. Just some friendly advise. If you have already done that and the results came back positive, I'm glad you found yourself a good woman in the PI. The way the Filipino's think about your money would shock and astound most American's. We just fart money over here, and since we have so much, and they have so little our money should be in their pocket. Lying to get that money is  something a Filipino wouldn't hesitate to do if they believe it'll get the money in their pocket. 


      If you ever do come to the PI, remember helping the poor people begging for money or the friends that don't have a job that ask you for money, isn't helping them, but just reinforcing the negative behavior of asking for help from others. Sink or swim. I've gotten to where I am from my mistakes and problems, by facing them. I'm sure your in the same boat. It's kind of like the teenager that won't leave the nest, sometimes everyone needs a swift kick in the ass. In the PI I wear much bigger shoes for that reason. :)

I began emailing a woman that I met on the Christian Filipina website in the hope that I would meet someone who was honest. She lives in Santa Rosa near Laguna south of Manila. I travelled to Manila last year to meet her, and her grown up family. She seemed genuine to me but the whole family seems to live off the income of one daughter who works at a local electronics factory. What shocked me was the the heat, polution, traffic chaos of Manila and the on-street level of destitution. It felt unsafe and was most unappealing.
However, I have been watching the blogs of fellow members who have found happiness in retiring to cooler and quieter places in the Philippines.
One major concern is that of health insurance and medical facilities available for Australian expats?. 
Can anyone advise me re. this matter.
Cheers
Terry

Terry  I like u have written have found a better part of Phils
to settle Naga City 450km south of Manila it must be good as expats abound here, as for health Insurance the cost of minor
medical is cheap like 300p to visit doctor but like a British
mate did just last month(he was having heart problems)hoped on a plane to London got fixed free was back in 2 weeks, we as Australian can do the same
Pete

Agree with chelpinay and expatfever

P12K is kind too high if she has two daughters and two sons and they live in an area where rent is P2,500 a month. That amount for food is enough for a same-sized family in Manila.

Also how can electricity for a family of five be P500 a month but water P1,800? Electricity is super expensive here, while water is cheap. It would be more realistic if it were the other way around, P500 for water and P1,800 for power. Unless they live in an area with illegal power connections.

I understand how overwhelming the poverty here can be. I'm a Filipina and it gets to you no matter how much of it you see. When I was in college one of our politics professors said the most difficult thing to be is a poor woman in the the Third World.  It's being a minority/marginalized in three different ways: poor, female and a citizen of an under-developed country.

Your affection for her is sweet and I don't want to say anything bad about her or your relationship but expatfever is correct in advising you to be careful. Love is hard to find so I hope things turn out well.





Jove :

Thanks I appreciate your reply, I hope you can stick around to help me out a little more.
I said ex-husband I meant she is separated, . and receives no support.
She emails me, I bought her a computer last year.
Sorry I think these figures are about right.

Rent             2,500 pesos
Water            1,800 pesos
Internet         1,000 pesos
lights           500 pesos
Miscl. Bills     1,000 pesos
Food            12,000


TOTAL           18,800       

Does that seem about right?

Even that is really hard to believe there is so little work for natives there, that the Government can not help them at all.

If I had the money to come there I would. I am retired but willing to work to make enough to come.

That's the main issue and corruption of all Philippines, this is the main reason on why Young pinay go to UAE or other middle-eastern countries while some stay in Philippines and make philippine a popular sex destination, it's sad but it is true

Jove I admire your philanthropy, but have you considered that she had managed to survive before you entered the picture?
Sending money to women overseas that you have never met in person is, to put it lightly, not recommended.
Your friend may well have other men she has appealed to for the same, possibly many men.
I wonder how much of your money is being used to buy beer and cigarretes to her unemployed brothers, cousins, etc.

yes these things have crossed my mind, but we talk twice a day in skype, . . morning and night for years, sometimes I see the kids via video, . . even though I can't go there,. when I can afford it I will.

I am not rich, but As long as the money helps her I don't mind.

She seems to be a hardworking mom with the four kids there, 3 in school one daughters baby.

But let me ask you something I know that she said in Davao now the boy is no longer in Elementary, he has registration fee this year that amount to I think about 125 US, and also there is monthly tuition there now, . . .

Then someone else is telling me that the public schools are free,

Please tell me which is true ?

ouch...

What are you saying ????????????

I'm sorry I have not been here for a while and have not yet read previous post, . . .

but are you saying my friend is conning me ??????

Jove :

What are you saying ????????????

I'm sorry I have not been here for a while and have not yet read previous post, . . .

but are you saying my friend is conning me ??????

I believe he was commenting on 22nd and Market streets.

Jove :

yes these things have crossed my mind, but we talk twice a day in skype, . . morning and night for years, sometimes I see the kids via video, . . even though I can't go there,. when I can afford it I will.

I am not rich, but As long as the money helps her I don't mind.

She seems to be a hardworking mom with the four kids there, 3 in school one daughters baby.

But let me ask you something I know that she said in Davao now the boy is no longer in Elementary, he has registration fee this year that amount to I think about 125 US, and also there is monthly tuition there now, . . .

Then someone else is telling me that the public schools are free,

Please tell me which is true ?

12 k a month  wow mate     its a lot   to much.
U support a woman U have never ever met   giving her 3 times the average wage income a month  and now she is asking for more money?   is that right   another 125 bucks?

Davao is so much cheaper then manila and cebu mate     I think  u are being taken for a ride.
It never ceases to amaze me people sending people they have never met  money online   
My gfs father here in cebu  pays off his small house  supports 4 girls and his wife.   
all  on 6k a month
and cebu is more expensive then davao  mate.
He manages and he budgets and is to proud to ask for handouts and if he can do all that  on 6     what is she doing with 12?  hmmmm?

My last question was, National High School Registration Fee, 125, US ? Is that so ?

But here is the accounting Monthly with 4 children;

Rent 2500
Electric
Water   1800
Gas 450
Internet 1000
Food 6000
AC 1000
Miscl. 1000 like payment on appliance ; Air Condition, and personal items, clothes for kids, shoes , bathroom:

13750 apx. 335 U.S.

mate   maybe 500 peso  for the year     

5000       a whole months wage to send your kids to school?

u are being conned
u got to be kidding me   i think no one answered as its actually called   pta....  no way it cost 5000  unless  it is a private school          no more than 10 to 15 dollars a year   

so  no      not 125 dollars

adding an edit          no offence  but the interent is full of information     
u could just google the price of the pta     and  u would already have your answer...
U know  u are being taken for a ride  or u would not be on this forum asking questions like that 

U feel  responsible and u feel  u need hard proof  u are being conned    otherwise  if u take away  supporting her and her family  u will feel like it us your fault?????   yes???

Mate  I live here    I hear it everyday  people being taken for a ride.....  there are some truly lovely lovely people in this country   so even though this person is taking advantage of your kind and genuine nature      don't feel to down on yourself.

take some advice from jesus   "give a man a fish and u feed him for a day... teach a man to fish and u feed him for a life time"

Giving hand outs destroys peoples lives as they never learn to take control of their own situation.

Probably not all her kids either mate       

dont worry   she will find another   its her job  lol

There is no tuition to be paid to attend public schools, but there are other fees and expenses which makes many not complete school.  I would want to know more specifically what fees are due and for how much.  In the last year the school system added kindergarten and two more high school grades to match the USA 13 year system, resulting in more time and more expenses for all, although the 2 new years only kick in in 2015 and 2016, meaning there will not be any high school grads those years.

Yes it is 125 or 5125 ps for the yearly registration plus tuition fee of something like 1,200ps a month.

Tuition fee discount at barangay hall in Davao ?



Anyway how is a woman with 4 kids, 13, 8 6 and 3 going to work ?

but you can see the monthly budget it looks reasonable to me

Am I still missing something, ?

You are missing that in public schools there is no tuition.

You mean


tuition fee of something like 1,200ps a month.

Tuition fee discount at barangay hall in Davao ?

Is a lie ?

Jove :

You mean


tuition fee of something like 1,200ps a month.

Tuition fee discount at barangay hall in Davao ?

Is a lie ?

yeah mate      there is no monthly tuition fee     
none   zero 
one off 500 peso a year   
ok

And  i dont even think it is that much to be honest

i will refer to an earlier post.
how was she surviving before u started helping her.?

she has a 13 year old    schools have different starting times   not all  need to go at the same time   didnt u say  a 22 year old or something  was at home with no work?

yes I did say that but he is not home any longer and works for a computer internet company and make almost nothing, so she says, . .

yeah, it don't look good, but I am on a search page now for Davao National High,  before I confront her let me check further

I'll reply  Thanks

Good luck to u mate.'

If u feel the need to confront then  u should do so i guess.   before u do   pm me    ill give u some advice  not for the forum.

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thats a college   not a high school

Hmmmmmmm, . . . pls wait

i live here    all three of my sisters in law are in school   if u choose not to believe me   or the other posts by other fil expats     

well mate dont know how to help u.

U asked a question    i gave u the answer     school is free  but there is a pta fee    of no more than 500 peso.

Also i used to live in davao    the pta would be cheaper than it is here in cebu.
im going to help u.
u want to believe her   yes?

then dont use your brain   keep sending money   

we here have no reason to lie to u.
its more fun in the philippines but a walking talking online atm is gold here too

we here have no reason to lie to u.
its more fun in the philippines but a walking talking online atm is gold here too
I quote this as it is probably the smartest bit of advise I've seen on this forum (so true)
Pete

Jove if your really unsure, there are private eye companies that will make sure she's all on the up and up.

Honestly though as innocent as the women in the PI look many of them just want your money. LOL not that that only happens in the PI.

expatFever, you gave the man some good advice. I am an American, living in the Philippines for 5 years and doing business here far longer than that. Retired now.

I do, however, want to challenge you on one point.

There is nothing shocking about the way the poor people here think about the money in my pocket. It is exactly the same way that poor people in America think about the money in my pocket. They want it. That is not a Filipino condition. That is a human condition.

You do encounter more poor people on a daily basis here than in America. That may color the perception. And, as a foreigner, you look rich. So when shopping you may get the price jacked up a bit on you, but that seems like a perfectly reasonable thing for a shop owner to do. But then again, that is why god invented haggling.

hi Jove, I actually dont want to say this to you since i am also a Filipina but i think your a victim of a scammer. I dont think that girl you're talking about have been true to all the things that she said. Maybe you showed your interest to her and that you're willing to support her that is why she made a fancy story about her living,i dont think it is true that your friend had work in a night club. Many scammers make hearttouching stories just to get the man's sympathy, i feel sorry for such kind of girls who dont even want to stretch thier mucles to earn money for thier better living. Yes, there are poor Filipinos but i salute those because they dont need to write false story about thier living just to scam forigners , they keep working hard to feed thier family. I have an urge that this girl you're talking is just using you im sorry for that, but if im wrong then im sorry too but based on what i read to your post it is exactly what the scammers do. Think many times mr. jove, dont spend your money to people who is just using you,.

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